“All I’m saying is you could have at least called. If you didn’t want to talk to me, cool. But you could have called Nanny B and said something to her.”
“Jaylin, I was very busy. I’m sorry, but I didn’t have time to go back and forth with you and my parents about LJ. When I left, he was in a safe place, and in the same safe place when I got back.”
“So he ain’t safe when he’s over here? Is that what you’re telling me?”
“I’m not saying that. I didn’t want to have to worry about him, that’s all.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. If anything, you didn’t want to listen to me tell you how foolish it would be for you to get married. Not only that, but you didn’t want to have to call my house with Collins around.”
“All I wanted was peace and quiet. That’s what I got, and that’s all there is to it.”
“So what else did you get? Did you just happen to get a husband while you were away?”
Over the phone was not how I wanted to break the news to him. “Come by my house later on today, okay?”
“I’ll be busy later on,” he said, yelling through the phone. “Yes or no? Did you or didn’t you get married?”
“I said come by later so we can talk.”
“You did, didn’t you?”
“I want to see you la—”
“Damn you, Nokea,” he said softly. “Damn you.”
He hung up.
I knew this wasn’t going to be easy for him, and feeling hurt myself, I dropped my head on my desk. A few tears had the nerve to fall, but when it came to the bond we shared, that’s just how things were. Whenever he hurt, I hurt. Whenever I hurt, he hurt. It was so sad that we couldn’t work things out, but he had to know that this day was destined to come.
At the end of the day, I gathered my things to leave. Collins had some flowers delivered to me today, and the enclosed card asked for his new bride to hurry home. I was so proud to be his wife, and quickly left to meet the agent so I could get to Collins soon.
When I got home, Jaylin was parked in front of my house. A part of me knew he would be there, so I had already prepared myself for his visit.
I got out of my car and pulled my briefcase and folders from my trunk. Jaylin leaned against his truck with his hands in his pockets and watched. Looking awfully gorgeous in his well-pressed khakis, dark shades, and peach button-down Polo shirt that hugged every muscle in his arms, it was kind of hard to ignore him, but I did.
I closed the trunk, and he followed me inside. Not saying a word to each other, I laid my things on the floor. He grabbed my arm, swinging me around to face him. He removed his sunglasses so I could once again look into his hurting eyes. I tried to pull myself away from his grip, but he grabbed my arm tighter.
“How could you do this to us?” he said, swallowing hard. I couldn’t stand to look into his eyes, so I lowered my head, looking down at the floor. “Look at me, damn it! How in the fuck could you go marry this fool, knowing how much we love each other?”
I looked up and saw a tear roll down his handsome face. “Jaylin, I love Collins—”
He shook me by my arms. “Bullshit, Nokea! You know damn well you don’t love his ass. Did you think marrying him would destroy your feelings for me? It’s right here, baby.” He pounded his chest with his fist. “Stop fooling yourself. You know damn well who you’re in love with.”
I didn’t want to confess my feelings for him, and started to cry as well. I pounded his chest and screamed out, “Why won’t you let this go? Why can’t you just leave me alone? Please, Jaylin, just leave me alone.”
“I can’t because I love you.” He put my arms around his waist, and then wrapped his around mine. I leaned my head against his chest, and we stood full of emotions. Jaylin pulled me back, held my shoulders, and looked face to face with me. “Your marriage to Collins means nothing to me. All you have is a piece of paper that I’m going to do everything in my power to destroy. Don’t make me go to the extreme. Accept this for what it is and do something about it.”
He leaned forward to kiss me, and I’ll be damned if my tongue didn’t have the pleasure of dancing with his. It was a very intense moment, and when his hands lowered to raise my skirt, I was supposed to stop him, but didn’t. I reached for his zipper, but that’s when he stopped me. He cradled my face in his hands and wiped my tears with his thumbs.
“I refuse to make love to a married woman. Correct this mess so we can be together. I’ll wait to hear from you—soon.” He pecked my forehead and left.
Feeling as confused as I was, I wished that I was dreaming. I couldn’t believe how badly I wanted him. My mind had been made up, and that’s all there was to it! For God’s sake, I was a married woman now. I had a husband whom I loved, and there was no reason for me to correct anything. So what, the feelings I still had for Jaylin didn’t go away? Now what? Eventually they would disappear, and everything was bound to work itself out—I hoped.
The agent finally showed up and we talked for hours about what we needed to do to get started on selling my house. It sounded pretty simple to me, so we made plans to put my house on the market the following week. After she left, I called Collins and told him I was on my way.
When I got there, as usual, he was on a roll. Dinner was on the table, the candles were lit, soft music played, and my lingerie for the night was laid across the chaise in the living room. I was full of emotions about what had happened earlier, and could barely look into the eyes of my own husband. He questioned my demeanor, but I told him I had some issues at work and was a bit sad about selling the home I’d lived in for years. I felt bad for already lying to him, and that made the night even worse. If anything, I knew one lie would always lead to another.
Either way, I made it through the night without letting my thoughts of Jaylin completely ruin it for me. Collins and I didn’t make love, but just the thought of him holding me in his arms for the rest of our lives was all that I could wish for.
30
JAYLIN
Drinking and fucking, fucking and drinking, were all that I could do these days. Nanny B left with Mackenzie on Friday, and after seeing Nokea the following Monday, I seriously had no purpose for living. Just about everyone that I loved had slipped right through my fingers. I couldn’t do nothing about either situation, and there was something that bugged the hell out of me about not being in control.
The night Mackenzie and Barbie left, I had to stay away from the house. I didn’t return home until Saturday morning, and by then, she was gone. Thing is, I didn’t have the guts to tell her that she was never coming back. I talked to her the night before and told her I’d be away for months on business and didn’t know when I’d return. She cried hard and made me promise to come get her when I got back. I promised her I would, but there was no way for me to keep that promise.
I stayed in her room for the entire day, torturing myself as I looked at the little things she’d left behind: a few Barbie dolls, her hair brush, and the Cinderella book she’d made me read to her at least a million times. I placed it on my chest, and when Nanny B came in and found me, I was a mess. Even she cried with me, but she always gave me the strength and encouragement to move on.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, Nokea hit me with her news. I was so hopeful that she’d come home and say she wanted to work things out with me, but what a fool I’d been again. This time, though, she went all the way. The thought of her having another man’s name and making love to him tore me up inside. She was supposed to be Mrs. Jaylin Jerome Rogers. How dare she settle for anything less?
Thing is, though, I never imagined losing Mackenzie or Nokea would be this difficult for me. And crying? Now, that was something that I wasn’t supposed to do. I felt like a punk because Nanny B had walked in on me several times when I was in the midst of having one of my moments. She tried to lift my spirits, but there was no way that she or anybody understood what I’d lost. Just last night, Nanny B tried to pull me of
f the floor. I was stretched out in the kitchen, drunk as hell. I resisted and wound up sleeping there for the entire night.
At times like this, I wasn’t being too particular with the women in my life. My dick was anxious for Nokea, but we already know why I wasn’t going there. I had some cravings for Scorpio, too, but my heart just wasn’t in it. The only thing I could do was continue my freaky-ass fucking with Felicia. I had even brought Mercedes back into the picture, and Yolanda was my newest twang. She was a bit on the thick side, but had a booty that could bounce like a ball.
If anything, though, I knew I would never have a problem going back to any woman I’d been with before. Laying down good pipe like I did had great benefits, and all the women in my past were well within my reach. That, of course, was with the exception of Daisha. Good dick or not, she wasn’t having it. When I called to see if she’d shake a brotha down, she straight hung up on my ass and told me I needed Jesus. I agreed, for there was no way for me to get through this without Him.
Once again, I passed out naked on the floor beside my bed. Nanny B came in and hit me across my bare back with a wet towel.
“Why you tripping?” I said, slowly getting off the floor to sit on the bed. My head banged and my body was aching all over. I had one rough night with Mercedes. Her loving was getting better and better each time.
“Is this how you’re going to live the rest of your life?” Nanny B asked with a frown on her face.
I rubbed my temples. “Nope.”
“Then get your butt up and go do something constructive.”
“Look, I got a headache. I don’t feel like going anywhere.”
She picked up the two empty cans of beer and the Remy bottle on my nightstand. “This isn’t the Jaylin I know. You’d better find him and fast.”
“And if I don’t, what’s gonna happen? You gon’ leave me too?”
“I just might do that. I’m too old to be babysitting a grown-ass man, Jaylin. Now, go put on some clothes and get your butt out of here. I suggest you not go meet any more women because this damn phone is driving me crazy.” She tossed the towel over her shoulder and walked out.
She was a sassy, bossy li’l something, but I knew I’d better get my butt up before she walked out on me too. Then I’d really be fucked.
I took a hot shower and called Shane to see what he was up to. He suggested we go for a ride on our motorcycles, and since I hadn’t been on mine this year, I agreed to it. It was scorching hot outside, so I put on my Levi’s and a dark blue wifebeater. I slid into my black leather motorcycle boots and reached for my helmet that was hidden away in the closet.
Nanny B was pleased to hear I was going with Shane. I advised her not to wait up for me, covered my eyes with shades, and jetted.
I tore up Highway 70, maneuvering in and out of lanes. When I got to Shane’s place, he was already outside waiting for me. He wore his black Levi’s, black boots, black T-shirt, and had a black and white bandana tied around his head. I pulled my bike beside his and removed my helmet.
“Are you ready?” I yelled over the loud sounds of our bikes.
“Ready as I’ll ever be. Just follow behind the Knight Rider. You just might learn something.”
Shane put his helmet on and took off. I followed, but by the time we reached the highway, he straight-up left my ass. He was moving fast, and in order to catch up, I had to crank it up past 100 miles per hour.
We circled the highways in St. Louis about three times before stopping. We parked our bikes on the riverfront and sat on the steps near the Gateway Arch. I pulled off my helmet to stretch, and so did Shane.
“Now, that’s what I’m talking ’bout,” I said, giving Shane five.
“Me too. I live for days like this, man. That’s why I tried to get you and Stephon to—”
“Man, I told you don’t bring that cocksucker’s name up around me.”
“I know what you said, but can’t y’all squash that shit? I thought things may have cooled down by now.”
“Well, you thought wrong. Stephon cost me some serious losses this time.”
“Was it that upsetting to you that he had sex with Scorpio? I mean, I came close to it and you didn’t trip as much with me. Can’t you and him get past it?”
“I don’t know about him, but I can’t. I wish Stephon all the luck in the world, but I don’t want no dealings with him anymore. Scorpio belonged to me, and I told you fools that time and time again. He wasn’t trying to hear it, though. When she went to his place that day, he should have thrown her ass out of his house and called me so I could come kick her ass for being so stupid. But that was asking too much of him.”
“Yeah, I feel you. And I’m not trying to put ownership on a woman’s pussy, because it goes wherever it wants to, but Felicia was my pussy when you snatched that up from me. If I can put it in the past, why can’t you?”
“Would you stop referring to Felicia all the time? All I want to know is, did you love her at the time? If you did, then I was wrong. However, you never said y’all relationship was that serious.”
“That’s because I didn’t want y’all to know. Actually, yes, I was crazy about her. I was troubled by her ending our relationship to be with you.”
I placed my hand on Shane’s shoulder and spoke with sincerity. “Hey, I’m sorry, dog. I didn’t know how much you cared about her. And what about now? You know I’ve been dipping into that again, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I know. I’m a li’l bothered, but I don’t have feelings for her like I used to. We’re trying to work out this business thing, and that’s pretty much it.”
“Listen, enough said. I won’t ever touch her again. Actually, she kind of working my damn nerves already. And as a friend, you should have told me how you felt. By holding shit back, you’re creating another Stephon, and I don’t need that in my life again.”
“I’ll never be like Stephon, but you’re right.”
“That’s cool, but tell me something and be honest.”
“I don’t have a problem with being honest.”
I nodded, knowing that I could trust Shane to tell me the truth. “Okay. If Scorpio came to your place that day and asked you to fuck her, would you have done it?”
“Whew,” Shane said, leaning back on the steps. “That’s a tough one. She’s a badass woman, Jay. But since the opportunity presented itself before, I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have. If anything, I would have hurt myself more by doing so because of her love for you. In addition to that, something about your name tattooed on her ass just ruins it for me.”
We laughed and bumped our fists together. When I looked up, four females in a red convertible BMW pulled over to the curb and asked for our names.
“My name or his name?” Shane said, pointing to me.
“Both. Y’all both fine,” the driver said. The other three sat in the car picking and choosing. We stood up and walked over to the car to get a better look. From a distance, they looked kind of young, but I definitely had to check further into it.
We stood close to the car, quickly noticing that all four of the sistas had it going on, which was quite unusual. Debating on what to do with all this fineness, Shane and I looked at each other, and instantly had a solution.
“What’s your names?” I asked, referring to the two in the back.
“We asked first,” the driver said.
“This is Knight Rider,” I said, pointing to Shane, “and I’m the Cherry Popper.”
They laughed. I for damn sure had their attention.
“Cherry Popper,” the one in the back said, “can I take a ride with you?”
“I’d like to ride with Knight Rider,” another said. “I love me a brotha with twisties, and you, my dear, are wearing them well.”
Shane and I glanced at each other again. “Why don’t y’all get out of the car?” he said. They grinned and all of them got out. Immediately, our eyes dropped to their backsides, as that would be a true determining factor as to who was working
with what tonight. “Okay, give us some names and ages,” Shane said.
The driver responded. “I’m Toni, and I’m twenty-five. Ebony and Alisha are twenty-six, and Vicki is twenty-seven. Now, are we old enough to get a ride from you brothas or what?”
Shane turned to me. “Jay, you up to taking these females for a ride?”
“I’m actually up for them giving me a ride,” I said, looking at Ebony. “But since we don’t have any extra helmets, the police might trip. If we can exchange some phone numbers, though, maybe we can make arrangements to give them a ride later on.”
Ebony had already caught my drift and wrote her number on a piece of paper. Toni and Vicki seemed to be Shane’s kind of gals, and immediately connecting, he made conversation with them. Alisha wasn’t left out. After conversating with her and Ebony, I found myself digging her better than Ebony. I still didn’t believe how old they were, so they showed me their driver’s licences. I then promised them a call later so we could kick it.
“Cherry Popper, don’t play,” Ebony said, squeezing my arm. “You are too fine, and I really want to see you again. Tonight, if possible.”
Loving the attention, I watched as she walked her sexy self back to the car. She had lighter skin than Alisha, who was a darker chocolate. Ebony wore the hell out of a pair of cargo pants that hung low on her hips. Her midriff was bare and revealed the muscles in her abs and her belly ring. What attracted me most to her was her wild and curly brown hair and her catlike gray eyes like mine. It was hard to get my mind out of the gutter.
“I’m serious about calling. I’m a man of my words, and I said I would.”
Alisha stood close by and held my hand before she got into the car. “If you call one of us, you got to call both of us.”
Since she was braless, I looked at her nipples poking through the tightly fitted strapless pink halter that went well with her chocolate skin. Her hair was combed back in a sleek, shiny ponytail, and her buttered brown lips had my imagination going wild. “That won’t be no problem either,” I said, taking a glimpse at her backside as she got into the car. It wasn’t a big ass, but it was nicely fitted into a pair of blue jean capris.
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