Redemption

by R. R. Banks

In the next instant, he was pushing my thighs apart and I felt the head of his cock nudging at my opening. I pushed back against it and he thrust forward, letting him plunge into me. He reached forward and grabbed onto my shoulder, using it for leverage to pull me back so that he pressed so far into me I felt like I couldn't hold any more. Then he forced harder and a shock went through me. It was a dizzying blend of intense pleasure and a brief pain, creating something I had ever experienced and yet wanted more of. I arched and felt his hand gather my hair, wrapping it around his hand so that he could pull my head back. I lifted my hips up higher and his other hand tightened around my upper thigh, using both to control the rocking of my body as he pounded into me. Each thrust was intense, a powerful rush of sensation that pushed me closer and closer to oblivion. He was moving harder and faster, slamming into me with such intensity that my thighs stung where his slapped against them. He was grunting and growling in his chest, seeming to become almost unchained.

  I felt his hand leave my thigh and come around my hips to dip between my legs. His fingertips found my clit, swollen and sensitive from the arousal that filled me. He swirled his fingers into it, pushing harder and faster to meet the frenzy of his thrusts as if he wanted me to meet his growing fervor. The sounds pouring out of us filled the room and he suddenly released my hair so that he could tuck his arm under my chest and pull me up onto my knees so that my back pressed against his stomach and chest. His hand wrapped around the front of my throat and I turned my face toward his to kiss him deeply. His fingers continued their masterful manipulation of my body as he stroked harder and faster. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to hold back any longer. I reached around and dug my fingers into his thigh as I released myself, letting my body go.

  I cried out as the pressure that had built throughout my body dissolved into spasms that shook through me until I felt like I couldn't hold myself up any longer. My body slumped forward, and I caught myself on my elbows. He slammed into me a few more times before letting out an animal-like roar and pushing into me with an impaling thrust that brought another scream from my lips. He stayed that way for a few seconds and then dropped down over me, pressing me down into the mattress.

  The sky was still pink with the earliest light of morning when I opened my eyes. At some point that I didn't remember I had gotten under the blankets, but I felt a chill on my bare shoulder. I reached to pull the blanket up, but my hand brushed against warm skin. I rolled onto my back and glanced to my side. The man who had called himself Ethan was still lying beside me, his back now to me. His breathing was slow and deep, telling me that he was still asleep. I watched him sleep for several beats, then slowly eased myself out from under the blankets. My feet hit the carpet and I started searching in the half-light coming through the partially open curtains for my clothes. Shimmying back into what barely qualified as clothing wasn't necessarily what I wanted to be doing first thing in the morning, but I didn't really have a choice. I hadn't come into this equipped with luggage like he had so unless I wanted to make my exit in the same indelicate adornment I had currently, I was going to have to greet the day in the tiny skirt and low-cut top from the night before.

  I don't care. I got exactly what I wanted.

  I hadn't thought all the way through the situation and it wasn't until I stepped out of the lobby into the cold parking lot and realized that my car wasn't there. I had a brief moment of panic thinking that my car might have been stolen during the night, but then I remembered that I had ridden to the hotel with the man the night before, so my car wasn't there. I had left it at the bar. It might have been towed, but with any luck it was still sitting there, signaling my exploit from the night before. This left me with two choices. Either I could take the couple of miles walk back to the bar in the cold early morning temperatures, or I could use the phone at the front desk and call a cab.

  It turns out that, much like Silver Lake, the town that I had chosen for my dalliance didn't have its own taxi company and the two men who were known for occasionally scooping up the drunk or stranded to bring them back to where they needed to be, were still sleeping when the front desk manager gave me their phone number. When I had listened to the discouraging sound of what could only be a landline phone ring for the twentieth time without an answer, I hung up and let out a sigh.

  Well, that is one decision that has been made for me.

  "Are you going to be alright?" the woman behind the desk asked.

  I saw the way that she was looking at me. Her eyes were scanning my outfit and the hair that, try as I might, I wasn't able to fight back into submission when I woke up. There was judgment in those eyes and it made me angry.

  Who did she think she was? What --- was this the first time that she had ever seen a woman first thing in the morning with obvious sex hair and an outfit not suitable for daylight viewing?

  I straightened my shoulders and looked her directly in the eye.

  "I'll be just fine. Don't you worry."

  I wasn't embarrassed. I didn't regret what had happened the night before. In fact, I was proud of it. I might have driven out of town to do it to avoid the prying eyes of my neighbors, but I had gone after exactly what I wanted, and I had gotten it. This woman wanted me to feel bad, but there was no way that I was going to give her that satisfaction. I turned with a smile and stalked out of the hotel lobby with my head held high.

  Fuck the walk of shame. I was going to peacock.

  The temperature somehow seemed to have dropped even further in the time that I had been in the lobby making phone calls and I felt a shiver roll down my spine as the wind picked up. I saw the man's car ahead of me and crossed the parking lot to it. I lean down and glanced in the window. Luck seemed to have changed his mind about me and I grinned to myself when I saw that there was a jacket draped over the back seat. I tried the handle on the door and found it unlocked. This didn't really surprise me. The man who called himself Ethan seemed to have had just one thing on his mind when we arrived the night before and that was not practicing exemplary personal safety methods. Trying to convince myself that I was not committing a potential felony, I opened the door and pulled the jacket out of the seat. Hopefully, this man was a late sleeper and I would be able to get back to my car, drive back here, and replace the jacket before he woke up and even notice that it was gone.

  I couldn't help but breathe in the smell of him as I slipped into the jacket. It was the same warm, slightly spicy smell that his skin held, and I filled my lungs with it, letting it remind me of all of the delicious moments that we had shared the night before. I zipped up the jacket, flipped the hood over my head and started off down the road. I was feeling slightly less than stable on my heels, but the continued afterglow and confidence was enough to keep me moving. Eventually, I found myself in a good rhythm and humming some walking music as I went. It took me a few minutes before I realized that the song that I was humming was actually what was playing at the bar when the creepy blond man had approached me. I shuddered just thinking about it. I hadn't seen any good prospects at the bar since arriving and seeing that guy walking toward me had been enough to almost make me give up.

  But then I had stumbled into Ethan's arms.

  Ethan? Nope. That still just didn't sound right.

  Thinking about how the night had unfolded after Ethan had wrapped his arms around my waist and given me that unexpected, blistering kiss was enough to keep me warm for the rest of the walk and I arrived back at the bar in a surprisingly short time. It seemed that the bar wasn't nearly as far down the road from the hotel as I thought it had been. My growing anticipation and desire must have been enough the night before to warp how long the drive had seemed. I was relieved to see that my car was still sitting in the parking spot that I had chosen, and I dug in my purse to find my keys, so I could unlock it as I approached. I slipped behind the wheel and drove back toward the hotel. Carefully parking a few spots away from Ethan's car, I reluctantly took off his warm jacket and draped it back over the
seat the way that I had found it. Confident that I hadn't been caught committing grand theft parka, I got back in my car and headed home to Silver Lake feeling more relaxed and more prepared to face the rest of the school year.

  Chapter Three

  Garrett

  Where in the living fuck was I?

  I leaned forward and stared through the windshield yet again at the dark road ahead of me. I really hoped that this wasn't the beginning of me never being able to figure out where I was when trying to get to Silver Lake. It has been almost two months since my solo trip to find a house and now Jason and I were on our way to settle into our new home. I glanced at my phone again, hoping that the GPS had suddenly sprung into action and was going to redirect me to a better path, but it seemed just as confused as I was. I looked to the side and saw that Jason was still sleeping. He had crossed his arms over his chest and buried his head in a pillow shortly after we had gotten in the car, almost as though being unconscious was his protest to the move. I knew that he wasn't going to take the news of our transfer very well, but he had been even more brooding and sullen than I had expected in the days since we had started preparing. Now though, he seemed quiet and peaceful. His face had relaxed from its seemingly permanent scowl and suddenly he looked so young again.

  I hoped that I was doing the right thing for my son and for myself. Though it hadn't seemed like it at the time, now that I looked back on the decision to move, it seemed hasty. I hoped that it had really been the best decision and what was going to give both of us the better life that I had been thinking about. I thought about the trouble that Jason had been getting into recently and the issues that he had been dealing with that led me to make the decision to leave the town where he had grown up and start again in Silver Lake. My son was only a sophomore in high school, but over the last several months I had seen things developing in him that reminded me too much of myself when I was younger. Though I had eventually gotten back to a good place in life, I knew that there had been no guarantee that it would have worked out for me. I didn't want to think that Jason could end up on the wrong path and never have the chance to find his way back.

  The reality is that Jason himself was the result of my crazy, wild teenage years. It was because of that, that I often thought of my son as the one who had saved me. It was finding out that my girlfriend at the time was pregnant that had pushed me into joining the military after a prompt marriage. It was there that I learned discipline and respect. It was there that I learned to see myself as more than the product of my own parents' disastrous union. But it was also there that only further confirmed to me that life very rarely unfolds the way that it is planned. Now I was no longer in the military, my experience there had led me into a fire-fighting career that had brought me to this place, to the position of fire chief for Silver Lake, and the opportunity to give my son the type of life that I hadn't been able to have for myself. That didn't matter, though. If this worked out and I was able to save him, it would be worth it. There was nothing that I wouldn't sacrifice for the good of saving my son.

  A few minutes later I started to recognize things again. We had made it into Silver Lake and I was relieved to see that the town seemed more awake and alive than it had the last time that I was here. I chalked up the desolate streets and sleeping homes to the fact that I had been traveling so close to Thanksgiving during my last visit and reassured myself that while this town was far from bustling, it would at least offer something for both of us. For me, Silver Lake was a chance to continue my career and be the father that I didn't have. For Jason, this new town offered a fresh start where people didn't know him or the reputation that he had built, and also gave him a chance to pursue the one great love I had ever seen him have. The baseball team at the local high school was known for being one of the best in the area, and it had been telling him about that team that had finally convinced Jason to stop resisting the move and if not agree to enthusiastically, at least to resign himself to it.

  As we traveled further into the town, my mind wandered to the last time that I was here and the woman I had met. She had called herself Debbie. Even if I didn't know for certain that that wasn't her actual name because she had been the one to craft the concept of keeping up appearances by coming up with fake names and backstories, I wouldn't have wanted to call her Debbie. She just didn't look like a Debbie. Not that I really knew what a Debbie should look like or what type of name would fit her. My heart rate increased some just thinking about her. My hands on her skin. My lips on hers. My body enveloped by hers. I remembered the morning after our night together, looking out of the glass door of the hotel lobby as I checked out and catching sight of her. She walked up to my car, opened it, and tucked my jacket back inside. I didn't know why she had it, but when I got into the car ten minutes later, I had picked it up and was still able to catch the light scent of her on the fabric.

  Beside me, Jason groaned and shifted around. Finally, he sat up and looked through his window first and then through the windshield.

  "Are we there?" he asked.

  "Almost," I told him. "We are in the middle of the town now. Our house is just a few minutes away."

  Our house.

  I almost wanted to say it again. Jason and I had spent the years that we had been alone together living in a series of apartments and condos. While they had gotten progressively bigger and nicer over time, I hadn't let myself dream about one day actually having a house of our own. The stability of it had seemed out of reach, and even as my career became more successful and small investments that I had made began to pay off, giving me the ability to buy a house, something inside me had made me hesitate. Now I felt like I understood why. We would need to leave, and I didn't want the ties keeping me, and Jason, in a place that wasn't right for us. Though it was a risk and I felt like I was taking a blind leap, I had had to make the decision that I couldn't hesitate anymore. Silver Lake was our new beginning and buying a house here was the strongest way I could think of to establish ourselves and ensure that we were moving forward.

  "You're really going to like it here," I said.

  He glanced over at me and seem to struggle to withhold rolling his eyes.

  "I doubt it," he said. "It looks like there isn't very much to do."

  "I'm sure that there's plenty to do," I told him. "You're going to be starting at your new school in a couple of days and tryouts for the baseball team are soon. Hopefully, you're not going to have a lot of time to be looking for other things to do."

  I meant it both as a way to encourage him to be more open to our new home and as a warning. I didn't take this move or the tremendous change that it represented in our lives lightly, and I didn't want to think that he did either. I wanted him to know that I wanted him to live up to my expectations.

  "I know," he said. "We've been over this."

  I started to say something to him about his attitude but decided to let it go this time. I remembered being his age and how much upheaval even seemingly small changes could cause. He had just been taken away from the only town he was old enough to remember living in, his school, his friends, essentially everything that he knew. I couldn't really expect an already rebellious teenager to be readily receptive to the situation. I could cut him a little slack now and give him a chance to settle in. Besides, if I was being completely honest with myself, I didn't know if even I was entirely convinced. No matter how hopeful and optimistic I tried to be, there was a part of me that still said this might not work out the way that I wanted it to. It was entirely possible that uprooting Jason was going to be the catalyst for him completely falling apart. In my efforts to help my son get back on track and live a better life, could I actually be pushing him over the edge?

  "Are you hungry?"

  "Yeah," he said. "What time is it anyway? It seems like we should be there by now."

  I nodded.

  "I got a little bit turned around," I admitted. "It seems the GPS doesn't like to work this far out. But it's actually not as late
as it seems. It's just darker out here because there aren't as many lights as there are closer to the city."

  "Would it be overdramatic if I pointed out that you have literally taken the light out of my life?" he asked.

  I looked over at him and saw that there was a slight shimmer of humor in his eyes and I laughed, nodding.

  "That would be very overdramatic," I said. "I think that you will learn to survive on less electrical light. I promise that Silver Lake has sunlight. There's even a moon and stars."

  "The moon doesn't actually produce any of its own light, Dad."

  "Hey, look at you, showing off your science mastery."

  "Yeah. I'm a science wizard. I am also aware that despite popular belief, the moon is not, in fact, made out of cheese."

  I laughed again. It was good to hear my son sound like the Jason I used to know before something changed and the fog so common in teenage years settled over him. That was the son I wanted back, the son who I wanted to give a better chance. Getting even that small glimpse of him was enough to motivate me even more. I noticed a building with a neon sign up ahead and pointed at it.

  "Well, would you look at that? Neon. Your lifeforce."

  "It's a pizza shop! Now that is my lifeforce."

  Buoyed by the appearance of the still-open pizza store, I turned into the parking lot and we headed inside. Jason wanted to stay there and eat, but I was eager to get into our new house and ordered the pizza to go. Soon, classic white pizza box in hand, we got back into the car and headed on our way again. Jason clutched the pizza tightly on his lap as if ready to defend it to the death. He didn't take his eyes away from the windshield again until we had pulled up into the driveway of a white two-story house and I turned off the car.

  "This is it," I said.

  He leaned over to glance through my window at the house. I waited for some type of response, but he didn't seem to have much of a reaction.