Redemption

by R. R. Banks

  “Stand up,” he whispered.

  Though I didn’t want to relinquish the deliciousness of my seat in his lap, I complied. When I was on my feet in front of him, Noah eased off of the edge of the chair so that he was on his knees in front of me. He leaned forward and nuzzled my stomach with his face, then suddenly paused. His head hung and I felt a sinking feeling in my chest.

  “I think that you should go,” he said.

  “Why?” I asked.

  He climbed to his feet, straightening his coat before combing his fingers back through his hair. The expression on his face said that this was actually the last thing that he wanted to do, but there was something burning in his eyes that made it very clear it was the only choice he was willing to entertain at that moment.

  “I don’t think that I thought this through enough when I told Fawn that I would do it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Noah looked at me beseechingly, as if he didn’t really want to have this conversation, but I needed to know what had changed.

  “I can’t look at you the same way that the other men can,” he said. “They don’t know you until you meet them on your date. I haven’t spent much time with you, but I feel like I know you.”

  “I feel like I know you, too,” I said, stepping closer to him. “Why is that a problem?”

  “You already mentioned your contract. I signed one, too. I can’t honestly say that I’m here right now thinking about only your pleasure and knowing that we aren’t going to see each other again. That’s not what’s on my mind and I don’t think that it’s fair for me to continue if I’m not doing it for the reasons that I told Fawn that I would do it. She hired me for a specific purpose, and I’m not fulfilling that purpose.”

  “I thought that you wanted me,” I said, almost embarrassed by the statement as soon as I said it.

  “I do,” Noah said. “That’s the problem. I wanted you before I came here, and that’s not why you’re here. You signed up for this for a reason, and you don’t deserve to have someone distracting you from that.”

  “But, Noah,” I started.

  He turned his back to grab the bowl from the table, immediately silencing me.

  “Come on. I’ll walk you to your room.”

  It had been a surprise to know that Noah was my date and to hear everything that he admitted to me, but I hadn’t expected him to cut off our date so abruptly. In my mind, I knew that he was right, but that didn’t change the disappointment that I had felt. We had been having so much fun together. It was different from the other dates. With them, I had been thinking about the men in visceral, sexual terms from nearly the first second that I saw them. I had fully embraced the exploration that was intended to be part of the dates and though it had been interesting and illuminating to go through the different types of dates that the men had planned, I had looked at each of them as a different form of sexual being and weighed our activities and interactions on a scale of the effectiveness of the seduction and what it had taught me about myself and my tastes.

  It wasn’t that way with Noah. Instead, the time that we had spent together had been about just that. I had enjoyed his company and felt present and engaged in the moment throughout the evening, truly having fun with the activities that he had planned. Now I was back in my room, Noah having left me at the door, trying to really wrap my head around what had happened and what it meant. Though it was still early, I decided to go to bed. I kicked my clothes off in the bedroom and walked into the bathroom. Positioning the shower on to the hardest massage setting, I turned the heat up until it filled the room with steam and stepped around the gauzy curtain into the stream.

  I had only been standing in the water for a few moments when I heard the distinctive click of the door to the bathroom opening and I felt my stomach tighten.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Snow

  "Noah?" I asked, knowing that he was the only person who could come into my room like that, and the only person who would have reason to.

  He said nothing and I tucked my head around the edge of the shower curtain to look into the bathroom. My wet hair clung to my skin, but I had yet to wash my makeup off, and I saw him let out a long breath as if the image had struck him far more powerfully than I would have expected it to. Keeping his eyes locked on my face, Noah grasped the bottom of his shirt and pulled it off over his head, tossing it aside. I drew in a breath. We had tried to stop ourselves, but the expression in his eyes told me that he had no intention now of hesitating. What had started between us couldn’t be denied and he had made the directed, intentional decision that he wasn’t going to let us even try. He released the button on his pants and let them drop to his feet. When I didn't ask him to stop, Noah looped his thumbs into the waistband of his trunks and eased them off of his hips.

  As Noah stepped out of his trunks and kicked them aside, I slipped back behind the curtain. It was as much an invitation as it was a moment to myself to breathe. He walked up to the edge of the tub and spread his hand against the curtain. I brought mine up and meet his, my fingers spreading slightly to match the expanse of his and my palm pressing into his touch. We both breathed into the cautious, measured contact for a few moments before I took the side of the curtain in my other hand and slowly eased it back so that I could look at him again. Noah took hold of it just above my hand and opened it further to create enough space for him to step inside with me.

  Neither of us spoke as Noah stepped and into the water with me. His eyes traveled along my body, appreciating every lush curve and full, delicious swell. He reached forward and brushed his fingers back through the wet strands of my hair and then let them trail down onto my shoulder and along the edge of my neck. I shivered slightly beneath the touch and Noah stepped up closer. His fingers traced my collarbone and rested briefly in the soft dip at the base of my throat as his other hand came up to rest on the full curve of my hip. There he paused again as if he was feeling my pulse, bringing another moment of connection between us.

  I reciprocated by running my hand down the center of his chest, moving slowly as I allowed my fingertips to memorize the ridges and planes of his muscles. Even that simple touch seemed to send shivers through him and Noah closed his eyes briefly. I didn’t know if he was doing it to enjoy the feeling of my touch or if he was trying to bring himself under more control. Noah bent down and pressed the stopper into the drain to allow the deep tub to start to fill with the water streaming from the showerhead. When he straightened and turned back to me, I had washed away my lipstick. It left my plush lips slightly swollen, and he tilted his head forward to brush his lips across my mouth. It was less a kiss than a gesture of tender, cautious appeal, reaching out to me to ask me to see that he was offering himself to me and to accept him simply as he was. I tilted my mouth into the touch, seeking more of it, and Noah obliged, pressing his lips against mine with more pressure. My eyes closed as I felt his lips part on mine and the tip of his tongue dip inside to taste the soft, delicate inside of my mouth.

  We both eased a step closer to one another and the front of my body brushed against his, tightening my nipples and causing my belly to tremble. He rested his hand on the back of my hip and pulled me close so my breasts crushed against his chest and the barely-there wisps of downy hair at the apex of my thighs teased his legs. I knew that he was growing harder and thicker and he tightened his hips slightly to nestle his erection into the softness of my belly. I gasped slightly and Noah deepened the kiss. I relaxed into him, wanting to bring him with me into the same euphoric desire where my mind and body were existing. My mouth opened further and our tongues tangled. I ran my hands along his arms and up over his tight, hard shoulders to wrap my arms around his neck, tightening to stabilize me as my body shivered with anticipation of more of his touch. Though I desperately wanted him, I didn’t feel urgent. We had so far to go, so much more to discover, and I didn’t want to sacrifice even the smallest detail of it.

  I broke the kiss and turned to take a b
ar of soap from the dish attached to the wall. I rubbed it between my palms, bringing the translucent bar into a rich, fresh-smelling lather. I touched it to his chest and ran it along his body, wanting to nurture him in a way that I had never done for anyone else. When I finished and placed the soap back in its dish, Noah stepped forward again and captured my mouth with his.

  He lowered himself to his knees in the several inches of water that had gathered in the bottom of the tub and used his hands on my hips and the pressure of his mouth to guide me down with him. As we nearly reached the bottom of the tub, he turned me so that I settled between his legs and rested back to lie on his chest. I tucked my head back against him and he leaned down to touch a kiss to my cheekbone. Wanting to feel more of his skin, I rested my hands on his thighs on either side of me and ran them down to his knees and then back up to his hips. Noah reciprocated by resting his hands on the front of my shoulders and easing them down so that the tips of his fingers brushed the swells of my breasts. He moved them down to cover both with his palms and knead into my soft flesh.

  I turned my head and pressed a trail of kisses along the side of his neck, occasionally allowing the tip of my tongue to glaze across his skin. Noah continued drawing his hands down my body, feeling the soft wetness of my skin beneath his palms. They glided smoothly and easily, promising me deeper and more luscious indulgence. His fingertips touched the valley between my hipbones and I felt my belly tremble. I parted my legs slightly and his fingers dipped lower, slipping across my tight pearl. I gasped and Noah ran his fingers lower. I was already hot and open, my body becoming wetter with each second that he touched me. He gathered some of my hot fluids and brought it to my clit, concentrating his attention in small circles that left me gasping and clutching at his thighs with my fingers, trying to hold onto my control and keep the experience going.

  The writhing of my body caused my back to rub against his hardened cock, stimulating it even further until it felt harder, only pushing me further into my nearly overwhelming arousal. His hand slipped through my delicate folds, coaxing me forward, and I grabbed his wrist to still his hand.

  "Is something wrong?" he whispered.

  I shook my head.

  "No," I said, barely able to catch my breath enough to speak. "I just don't want it to be over yet."

  Noah smiled and leaned down to kiss the curve of my shoulder.

  "It won't be," he said softly, drawing his lips up the side of my neck to nibble lightly on my earlobe. "I promise."

  For a few moments, we lay still in the water, allowing the hot stream to rain down on us. We were silent as if lost in our own thoughts of what was happening. I reached forward and turned off the shower, then pulled the stopper out of the drain. The water began to slip away, and the more that disappeared, the higher my anticipation crept.

  I stood and carefully stepped out of the tub onto the soft bathmat. I reached for one of the towels stacked on a wooden shelf along the wall. Noah followed close behind me and I drew in a breath as he stepped past me toward the towels, letting his body brush against mine. Now dry, I dropped my towel to the floor and took the one out of Noah's hand. I dried his shoulders and moved the towel down each arm. As I reached his hands I turned each over in mine, carefully drying along his fingers and kissing the center of his palm.

  I could feel his breath becoming shallower and his heartbeat against his chest as I ran the towel across it, drying the droplets that clung to his skin. His erection was pressing toward me as I dried his hips and I couldn't pull my eyes away from it as I slowly lowered myself to my knees to dry his thighs. My heart was drumming so hard in my chest that I could feel it in my throat as I dried down to his ankles and along his feet before coming up and focusing my attention on the thick, beautiful cock that seemed to be waiting for me. I heard Noah draw in a breath.

  I touched a kiss to his belly and nuzzled my nose into the trail of thick, coarse hair that ran from his navel down to the apex of his thighs. The lightly sweet smell, clean of the soap I had used to wash him mixed with the unmistakable scent of his skin. Noah's hand touched the back of my head, his fingers lightly combing through my hair. It wasn't a demand, but I craved what the touch suggested just as much as I knew he did. I rested the towel to the floor and ran my hand up the back of his leg to hold the backs of his thighs, stabilizing myself while also drawing closer to him. I stroked along his length with my fingertips, starting at the base and traveling up until they reached the engorged, shining head. A droplet of crystalline fluid had gathered there and I couldn't resist touching it. It gathered on my fingertips and I massaged it into his skin. The soft groan that escaped his lips made my desire even more intense and I rested his thick shaft on my palm, wrapping my fingers around it to hold it firmly. I glided my hand along it in long, firm strokes and my mouth watered.

  I let my tongue touch the base of his erection and drew it up along the bottom to the tip, swirling it around the head before tracing the same path back down. I looked up, expecting to see Noah with his eyes closed or his head thrown back as he lost himself in the attention that I was giving him. Instead, he was gazing down at me, watching me softly and intently. It made him seem fully engaged in me and the connection that was building between us rather than just the pleasure that I was giving him. I opened my mouth and took his cock in until I couldn’t accommodate more, then grasped the base and withdrew it slowly.

  Noah cradled the base of my head with one hand and I allowed the gentle support to guide me into the smooth rhythm that he desired. The tip of his erection touched my throat and he let out a grunt, tightening his grip on my head so that I pulled my mouth away from him.

  "Now you're the one who needs to stop," he said breathlessly.

  My body stroked his as I rose to my feet and the tips of our noses touched. Noah nuzzled mine and I ran my tongue along his lips. Beside us, our hands met and our fingers intertwined. Our breath mingled and I looked into his eyes, waiting for him to guide me further, to show me what incredible discovery he could introduce me to. Noah released one of my hands and led me out of the bathroom and into the room that had been mine for several weeks now. I relished the private world that I knew we were sharing without any other guests so that I could indulge completely in Noah.

  Noah stepped up behind me and molded his body to mine, making me feel enveloped by him and I melted into the warmth of his skin. He took my hips into his hands and turned me in them so that I wrapped my arms around his neck, catching his lips with mine. Our mouths opened and we explored each other, becoming more passionate with each passing moment. I felt Noah walking backwards, drawing me toward my pristinely made bed. I gasped as he pulled away from the kiss and turned me so that he could lay me down.

  Noah lowered himself to his knees on the floor and I felt his hand touch the center of my chest as if feeling for my heartbeat. He stroked down my body until his fingertips settled into the valley between my hipbones. His thumb dipped into the hot, wet folds of my core and he massaged my clit with the pad. The sensation rocketed through me and I cried out. Almost instantly Noah's mouth replaced his thumb. His tongue delved into me, then he slowed down again, tracing through each of the tender petals to ensure that the tip of his tongue stroked every accessible inch of me.

  I dug my fingers into Noah's hair, at once holding him closer to my body to create more of the delicious sensation and pulling him away to provide relief from the intensity of that same feeling. My legs shook on either side of him and I felt nearly overwhelming pressure starting to build through my hips, thighs, and stomach, telling me I wouldn't be able to maintain my control for much longer. My back arched and I let out a sound between a gasp and a scream. Noah responded to my desperation by standing and turning my body so that I lay with my head rested on the pillows. I opened my arms to him and he stretched his body across mine, pressing our skin together from shoulder to entangled feet.

  Noah slowed down again, spending a few minutes kissing me languidly, his hands stroking through my ha
ir as he balanced with his elbows on either side of my head. I drew my legs out from beneath him and parted them so that his hips could settle between my thighs. I could feel the tip of his erection nudging at my core and I tilted my hips toward it. Noah gave a soft moan and rested his forehead against mine. I ran my hands along the firm muscles of his back until he opened his eyes to look at me.

  He gazed at me for a few seconds and then climbed off of the bed. I watched as he walked back into the bathroom and then returned holding a condom. It was already out of the package and Noah came to the side of the bed so that I could watch as he settled it onto the head of his erection and eased it down. Watching him created a stronger reaction in me than it had before and I bit down into my lower lip. He climbed back onto the bed and positioned himself over me.

  I stroked his face with mine, encouraging it upward until our eyes met again. Remaining propped on his elbows so that our bodies created a close space of indulgence, Noah flexed his hips and sank into me gradually. My eyes fluttered closed at the pure, visceral delight of my walls welcoming him. I felt Noah's mouth come to the soft place beneath my ear, close enough that I could feel his lips brushing against my skin.

  I shuddered with pleasure as my body relaxed around him and Noah started to move. He rolled his hips slowly, sinking into me a little deeper with each stroke. When he was fully within me, I could feel his hipbone grinding against mine. His pace increased only slightly as my body molded to him and my hot, slick fluids made his thrusts smooth and dizzyingly intense. The attention that he had lavished on me with his fingers and his tongue had left me just on the brink of oblivion and now he felt masterful and strong over me, starting my intense spiral upwards within moments.