Redemption

by R. R. Banks

  Later that morning I drove up to the address of the Enchanted Woods slowly, not wanting to miss anything. When I reached the end of a long driveway, I saw that there was a massive metal gate crossing the drive, preventing me from approaching. I leaned out of my car window, looking for an intercom system that would allow me to connect with someone inside so that they would open the gate. I saw no such system and realized that there was no way of announcing my presence and getting the gate opened for me. I backed my car out of the entrance to the driveway and drove back down the street a short distance before turning off of the road and parking. Grabbing my hooded cloak from the passenger seat, I climbed out of the car and swept it around my shoulders, securing it into place with the brass clasp that had been the primary appeal of this particular garment.

  It was still early and the temperature was unseasonably cool. I could feel the storm threatening, but I didn’t care. Now that I was here, I wasn’t going to stop. I jogged up the road back to the closed gate and then followed it into the woods on one side of the driveway. When I felt that I was far enough away from the main gate that I wouldn’t be seen, I forced myself through the bars. It was a tight squeeze, but I made it through to the other side. Pulling my hood up over my head, I started through the woods. I tried to move in as straight a path as I could, hoping to follow the driveway so that I could get to whatever lay at the end of it. Soon I felt the first rain drops beginning to fall. I pulled the cloak closer around me and ducked my head to keep the rain from my face as I kept going.

  The farther I walked, the angrier I felt toward Snow. If she had just gone away. If she had just not pushed and manipulated and insisted on being perfect every moment of our lives, it wouldn’t be this way. I would be on top, just the way that I should be. I wouldn’t be creeping through the woods in the rain, ruining my shoes and getting more and more supremely pissed with each step.

  I didn’t know how far I had gone, but I was beginning to feel turned around. The trees continued to stretch ahead of me without any change, creating an unbroken wall of woods on all sides. It seemed that I should have gotten somewhere. I should be able to see something that would indicate what this retreat was or why Snow would have come here to spend her leave. I reached for my phone, but realized that I didn’t have anyone to call. Walter was still on some other continent and there was no one else who I would be willing to have come search for me. When I thought about it, it occurred to me that there was no one who I trusted would be willing to come even if I did call.

  Feeling even angrier now, I paused and looked around me. Somewhere in the distance, I thought I heard voices. My ears pricked up and I strained through the sound of the rain pounding down on the leaves on the ground to hear them better. There was a high-pitched sound somewhere between a giggle and a gasp, and then a deeper, more masculine sound. This was definitely a man and a woman, and they were somewhere close by. I continued in the direction that I had been going. The voices continued and I let them lure me deeper into the woods. Finally, I saw a flicker of movement among the trees ahead of me. For a moment, I thought that I might have been some of the wild animals that I could only assume were living here.

  I stopped behind a large tree and peered gingerly around it, careful not to bring any attention to myself. The rain was coming down harder now and for a moment I wondered if I had just imagined that I had seen the two figures. An instant later, though, I saw them again. The first could only be Snow. Even in the greyness of the day I could see her thick black hair and the paleness of her skin. She was running, but the occasional laugh told me that she wasn’t afraid, even as I saw a large figure chasing her. They ran for a few feet and I ducked behind the tree again so that they wouldn’t see that I was watching. I turned and leaned around the other side of the tree to continue watching them.

  The man caught up with her and reached forward to wrap his arms around her waist. She screamed playfully as he scooped her up off of the ground and spun her around to face him. Pulling her up against his chest, he crushed his mouth down on Snow’s. She responded by wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Gripping her ass with both hands, the man carried Snow a few feet to a thick tree and pushed her back against it. They kissed hungrily for a few moments, the rain pelting them not seeming to deter either. I watched as the man lowered Snow to her feet and grabbed the neckline of the tight shirt she was wearing. He tugged it down and her breasts spilled out into his waiting grasp. He ducked his head and caught one in his mouth, massaging the other with one hand. The other hand moved to her thigh and ran up, shoving her skirt up and then disappearing under it. A moment later his hand came back into view, now gripping a tiny scrap of black panties. He dropped the panties and his hand moved to his belt buckle.

  I knew what was coming, and frankly I didn’t need to be there to witness it. My frustration was only creeping higher and here Snow was with a man so hungry for her that he didn’t care that they were out in the woods in the pouring rain. I stepped back from the tree and started back through the woods toward my car. Suddenly a thought crossed my mind. If she was returning to this place every other weekend, maybe this wasn’t the only man who she’d had an encounter like this with. I looked around myself at the woods, thinking about the description of the retreat that I had read on their website. It hadn’t mentioned anything about an apparent flow of men available to the women coming to stay here, but it had said that it was designed for personal reflection and relaxation.

  That was one way to put it.

  I decided I needed to know more about this place and started across the woods, moving sideways in the direction that Snow and the man had come from. They had come from somewhere, and I wanted to know where. I had crept through the woods for a few moments when I noticed that the trees ahead of me seemed to be thinning out. I moved a little faster, grasping the trees and brush on either side of me to keep from slipping on the leaves and dirt that were quickly turning to sludge and mud beneath my feet. When I reached the edge of the trees I saw that I was a few yards away from what looked like a small house. The cottage had the thatched roof and square, shuttered windows of a time long past. I didn’t see anyone around the cottage so I stepped out from the shelter of the trees and ran to the back of the small building. There was a narrow door in the back and I crept up to it to look through the curved window at the top, but I couldn’t see anything but an open room with a desk inside. I stepped back and shielded my eyes from the falling rain to look up at the windows that were several feet above. They didn’t seem high enough to be an actual second floor, as if the cottage was designed so that the back portion was elevated by just a few steps.

  Looking around the back of the cottage I noticed a rain barrel positioned to one side. It went along with the rustic, natural surroundings, but it also presented me with a means of hoisting myself up to the window. I gripped the edge of the barrel and tried to pull it. The rain had filled the barrel so much, however, that it was too heavy to pull. I climbed up on it and turned to look at the window so I could gauge how far I was. The barrel brought me to only a few feet from the window and close enough to a tall domed trellis I assumed held a rose bush earlier in the year that I was able to stretch my leg over to it and use it to balance myself as I leaned to the window. My fingers slipped slightly on the windowsill as I tried to grip it, but I was able to keep myself in place enough that I could peer into the window. A darkened bedroom was on the other side, the bed pristinely made and everything neat and clean enough that it looked like a hotel room. There was only one personal item visible, a pair of shoes that I knew to be Snow’s. I looked to the side, wishing that there was a way that I could get to the large bay window several feet away.

  I was starting to ease my way down from my position when I heard voices coming in my direction. I jumped down, catching my leg on the trellis as I went. I winced at the pain of the wood scraping my skin through my pants, but made my way as quickly as I could to the other side of the house. Stepping behind
the side of the house, I leaned around just enough to peek back to the yard. A woman was coming around the side dragging another barrel. The gesture had the same sickening compassion and tenderness as something that Snow would do, making this woman instantly distasteful to me. As she put the barrel into place a few feet from the other, a man came rushing toward her.

  “I told you no,” the woman said without even looking up at him.

  “That’s not fair, Fawn.”

  “Of course, it is,” the woman said. “Fair and legal. You’ve signed a contract. You know the rules. They were put in place for situations exactly like this.”

  “You can’t tell me that you’ve never had this happen with any of the men you’ve brought in.”

  “Of course, it has.” The woman he had called Fawn looked at the barrel I had managed to wiggle slightly out of place and cocked her head at it as if she noticed that it had been moved, then looked back at the man. “That’s precisely why I made the rules that I did. This is not the point of the Enchanted Woods. Women come here for relaxation. For fun. To find out about themselves and to improve their lives. This is about them, not the men. I’ll remind you again that you signed a contract. That’s all I have to say about it.”

  I was so fascinated by the exchange that I didn’t even care about the rain anymore. Fawn walked away from the man, but he stayed in place, the rain pouring down on him as he stood, now fully soaked, and stared out into the woods behind him. Finally, he turned and walked the same way that Fawn had around the side of the house. I started to follow him, then heard the sound of wet footsteps coming toward me. I ran back to my position on the side of the house and watched as the man reappeared, pulling Snow behind him. I straightened, leaning further to make sure that I didn’t miss anything.

  “What are you doing?” Snow asked.

  “Shhh,” the man said. “I don’t want Fawn to hear you.”

  “It’s raining. I need to get inside.”

  “It was raining when you were out here with that guy,” the man said.

  Even from my distance I could see Snow take a slight step back from the man and give him a look that bordered on disgust but held a hint of emotion.

  “I have to go inside,” she said, her voice low and controlled.

  She stepped around the man and jogged around the side of the cottage. The man watched her go, his hands lifting slightly as if reaching for her, then clawed back through his hair as he let out what sounded like a growl of frustration. He turned and as he did, his eyes locked on me. I ducked behind the house and ran into the woods, cutting across the front of the cottage and disappearing behind the trees. I ran until I was confident that he wasn’t following me anymore and slowed, contemplating what I had just seen.

  I continued on toward my car for a few moments before I stopped as if I had walked into a wall. A realization had hit me hard and I suddenly felt like the sky was clearing even though the rain was pouring down even harder now. Ducking my head into the rain, I ran back toward the gate, squeezed my way through, and got back to my car. In that moment, I was suddenly grateful for the absurdly in-depth reading into the policies and regulations of the Royal and Company Advertising Agency that Walter had insisted on before he would agree to put me in charge. He had wanted to make sure that I understood the company that he built and the corporate culture that he had intended from the beginning of his dream. What he had actually given me was the insight that I needed to destroy Snow in a way that I would never even be able to imagine.

  Enjoy your little fun now, Snow, I thought, it’s about to all be over for you.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Snow

  I could feel tears stinging in my eyes when I got into my room and I slammed the door behind me. The sound reverberated through the cottage, but I didn’t care. A torturous blend of emotions was coursing through me and I felt like I couldn’t breathe if I didn’t get it out somehow. I kicked out of my shoes and tore the leather clothing away from my body before stalking across the room and drawing a bath. It was to be my last bath in The Enchanted Woods and I ran the water as hot as I thought that my skin could handle it before pouring in shimmering iridescent bubble bath and a handful of oil beads. I felt suddenly chilled as if my body had just noticed the rain, and my muscles relaxed as I lowered myself into the deep tub. The water rose up to my chin and I leaned back against the side of the tub, wishing that I could disappear into the mounds of bubbles that were building up around me. I had just turned off the faucet when I heard the familiar sound of my room door opening. My body tensed as I waited for the bathroom door to open and to see Noah’s face again. Seconds passed and the door stayed closed. Then I heard the room door close and I realized that he was gone.

  When I felt that I had hidden in the bath for as long as I could, I stepped out, dried off, and slipped into the plush bathrobe that I had used every night that I had spent at the retreat. I knew that I would miss the feeling of the fabric against my skin and the warmth and relaxation it represented. I stepped out of the bathroom, expecting to see a tray with dinner on it sitting by the window. Instead, there was only an envelope in the middle of the bed. It had my name across the front, but no other identifying marks. I picked it up, suddenly experiencing a feeling as though I could sense Noah’s touch on it.

  I settled onto the bed and held the envelope in my hands for a few moments. These were his final words to me, sentiments that he sent after our clash in the lawn. I didn’t know what it could hold and the emotions that might be expressed through those words. As long as I didn’t open the envelope and read the note inside, I didn’t have to know. I could pretend that it said whatever I wanted it to say, though even as I sat there, crystallizing the moment around me so that I could hover in it, not allowing the potential pain of what the words might say to reach me, I didn’t really know what I might want them to say.

  Finally, I knew that I couldn’t put it off any longer. I opened the envelope and pulled out the note inside. Rather than being on the thick cardstock of the notes that accompanied my date boxes, the note was written on plain paper as if it had been hastily torn from a notebook.

  “Snow – I wanted to tell you that no matter what I’ve said, I understand why you came here and that you made the decision that you think is right for you. You did what you had to do and I hope that you found what you were looking for. I only wish that things could be different.”

  The words were simple and there was nothing in them that expressed any form of anger or hurt, but I could feel it. I knew that Noah was struggling when he wrote the note, and that it was all that he could manage, all that he could do to express the last message that he could send to me. As soon as I got dressed, I would be leaving the retreat, and him, behind.

  It was late when I got back home from my last night at the Enchanted Woods and even though I had been there only a few days before, I felt like I was walking into a strange place. It was like something had changed in me in the last few days, as though I had achieved what Fawn had promised and found something within myself that I didn’t know, and that it had somehow changed how I saw everything else around me. Even as I stepped into my living room and dropped my bags to the carpet, however, I couldn’t identify what it was that I had discovered about myself. I had found far more about myself sexually than I would have ever imagined that I would have, and even some things that I wouldn’t have believed I would have done or enjoyed if someone had told me about them only a few weeks before. That, however, didn’t seem like enough. There had to be something else. There had to be more to justify everything that I had gone through and how different I felt. My home used to be the place where I was most comfortable. It wasn’t elaborate or big, but it was mine. It represented everything that I had worked so hard for and the time, energy, and effort I had put into my career. As I was standing there, though, it didn’t feel like that anymore. Suddenly it felt like it represented everything I had done for everyone else. It wasn’t that I didn’t love my house. It was still
the same place that I had slid around in in just my socks when I had first closed on it and it was still empty. It was the same place where I had pored for hours over carpet samples only to settle on oatmeal. I loved this house, but it was something that had come from exactly what Robin told me I did…worked to please others.

  I walked over to the sliding glass door that led out onto the patio to the side of the house and pulled the curtains tighter, then glanced across the room to make sure that the blinds were closed. When I confirmed that they were, I kicked off my shoes and stripped down to my lingerie. This was one of the things about myself that was definitely different. Before visiting the Enchanted Woods, I would have been standing there in a pair of white panties and a matching boring bra. Maybe beige. Now I was wearing delicate confections of mint green lace that brushed my body and made me feel feminine and beautiful even standing alone in the living room. Taking a moment just to enjoy this feeling, I finally released the clasp on the back of my bra and released my breasts to the cool air of the living room and then peeled my panties down my hips and off.

  I stood in the middle of my living room completely naked. It was something that I had never done and something that I never would have thought that I would have done. My nudity was generally restricted to my bedroom and the bathroom. Sometimes the short hallway in between. Now I was standing here in absolutely nothing, enjoying the sensation more than I probably should have. I took off running and did a few laps around the house, weaving in and out of the rooms. I didn’t bother to check the windows when I went into the guest room and temporarily flashed everything to the neighbor on that side of the house, but since it was so late and so dark, I felt fairly confident that I went unseen, and even if the 80-year-old woman who lived there had been peering out of her window at precisely that moment, she would have only seen a silhouette of me running through. With any luck, she would just assume a killer was after me and go for cover.