by Unknown
In less than the time of a meal, the two of them experienced sharp pain and cramps in their bellies, and then their intestines growled four or five times. After that, Idiot could no longer contain himself: both waste and urine poured out of him. The Tang Monk, too, felt the urge to relieve himself and wanted to go to a quiet place. “Master,” said Pilgrim, “you mustn’t go out to a place where there is a draft. If you are exposed to the wind, I fear that you may catch some postnatal illness.” At once the old woman brought to them two night pots so that the two of them could find relief. After several bowel movements, the pain stopped and the swelling of their bellies gradually subsided as the lump of blood and flesh dissolved. The relatives of the old woman also boiled some white rice congee and presented it to them to strengthen their postnatal weakness. “Popo,” said Eight Rules, “I have a healthy constitution, and I have no need to strengthen any postnatal weakness. You go and boil me some water, so that I can take a bath before I eat the congee.” “Second Elder Brother,” said Sha Monk, “you can’t take a bath. If water gets inside someone within a month after birth, the person will be sick.” Eight Rules said, “But I have not given proper birth to anything; at most, I only have had a miscarriage. What’s there to be afraid of? I must wash and clean up.” Indeed, the old woman prepared some hot water for them to clean their hands and feet. The Tang Monk then ate about two bowls of congee, but Eight Rules consumed over fifteen bowls and he still wanted more. “Coolie,” chuckled Pilgrim, “don’t eat so much. If you get a sand-bag belly, you’ll look quite awful.” “Don’t worry, don’t worry,” replied Eight Rules. “I’m no female hog. So what’s there to be afraid of?” The family members indeed went to prepare some more rice.
The old woman then said to the Tang Monk, “Old master, please bestow this water on me.” Pilgrim said, “Idiot, you are not drinking the water anymore?” “My stomachache is gone,” said Eight Rules, “and the pregnancy, I suppose, must be dissolved. I’m quite fine now. Why should I drink any more water?” “Since the two of them have recovered,” said Pilgrim, “we’ll give this water to your family.” After thanking Pilgrim, the old woman poured what was left of the water into a porcelain jar, which she buried in the rear garden. She said to the rest of the family, “This jar of water will take care of my funeral expenses.” Everyone in that family, young and old, was delighted. A vegetarian meal was prepared and tables were set out to serve to the Tang Monk. He and his disciples had a leisurely dinner and then rested.
At dawn the next day, they thanked the old woman and her family before leaving the village. Tripitaka Tang mounted up, Sha Monk toted the luggage, Zhu Eight Rules held the reins, and the Great Sage Sun led the way in front. So, this is how it should be:
The mouth washed of its sins, the self is clean;
Worldly conception dissolved, the body’s fit.
We don’t know what sort of affairs they must attend to when they reach the capital; let’s listen to the explanation in the next chapter.
FIFTY-FOUR
Dharma-nature, going west, reaches the Women State;
Mind Monkey makes a plan to flee the fair sex.
We tell you now about Tripitaka and his disciples, who left the household at the village and followed the road westward. In less than forty miles, they arrived at the state border of Western Liang. Pointing ahead as he rode along, the Tang Monk said, “Wukong, we are approaching a city, and from the noise and hubbub coming from the markets, I suppose it must be the Women State. All of you must take care to behave properly. Keep your desires under control and don’t let them violate the teachings of our gate of Law.” Hearing this, the three disciples obeyed the strict admonition.
Soon they reached the head of the street that opened to the eastern gate. The people there, with long skirts and short blouses, powdered faces and oily heads, were all women regardless of whether they were young or old. Many of them were doing business on the streets, and when they saw the four of them walking by, they all clapped their hands in acclaim and laughed aloud, crying happily, “Human seeds are coming! Human seeds are coming!”1 Tripitaka was so startled that he reined in his horse; all at once the street was blocked, completely filled with women, and all you could hear were laughter and chatter. Eight Rules began to holler wildly: “I’m a pig for sale! I’m a pig for sale!” “Idiot,” said Pilgrim, “stop this nonsense. Bring out your old features, that’s all!” Indeed, Eight Rules shook his head a couple of times and stuck up his two rush-leaf fan ears; then he wriggled his lips like two hanging lotus roots and gave a yell, so frightening those women that they all fell and stumbled. We have a testimonial poem, and the it says:
The sage monk, seeking Buddha, reached Western Liang,
A land full of females but without one male.
Farmers, scholars, workers, and those in trade,
The fishers and plowers were women all.
Maidens lined the streets, crying “Human seeds!”
Young girls filled the roads to greet the comely men.
If Wuneng did not show his ugly face,
The siege by the fair sex would be pain indeed.
In this way, the people became frightened and none dared go forward; everyone was rubbing her hands and squatting down. They shook their heads, bit their fingers, and crowded both sides of the street, trembling all over but still eager to stare at the Tang Monk. The Great Sage Sun had to display his hideous face in order to open up the road, while Sha Monk, too, played monster to keep order. Leading the horse, Eight Rules stuck out his snout and waved his ears. As the whole entourage proceeded, the pilgrims discovered that the houses in the city were built in orderly rows while the shops had lavish displays. There were merchants selling rice and salt; there were wine and tea houses—
All bell and drum towers with goods piled high;
Bannered kiosks and hostels with screens hung low.
As master and disciples followed the street through its several turns, they came upon a woman official standing in the street and crying, “Visitors from afar should not enter the city gate without permission. Please go to the post-house and enter your names on the register. Allow this humble official to announce you to the throne. After your rescript is certified, you will be permitted to pass through.” Hearing this, Tripitaka dismounted; then he saw a horizontal plaque hung over the gate of an official mansion nearby, and on the plaque were the three words, Male Reception Post-house. “Wukong,” said the elder; “what that family in the village said is true. There is indeed a Male Reception Post-house.” “Second Elder Brother,” said Sha Monk, laughing, “go and show yourself at the Pregnancy Reflection Stream and see if there’s a double reflection.” Eight Rules replied, “Don’t play with me! Since I drank that cup of water from the Abortion Stream, the pregnancy has been dissolved. Why should I show myself?” Turning around, Tripitaka said to him, “Wuneng, be careful with your words.” He then went forward to greet the woman official, who led them inside the post-house.
After they took their seats in the main hall, the official asked for tea to be served. All the servants working here combed their hair into three braids, and their garments were worn in two sections. Look at them! Even those serving tea were tittering. In a moment, they finished tea, and the official rose and asked, “Where did the visitors come from?” Pilgrim replied, “We are people from the Land of the East, sent by imperial commission of the Great Tang Emperor to worship Buddha in the Western Heaven and to seek scriptures. My master, the royal brother of the Tang emperor, bears the title of Tripitaka Tang. I’m Sun Wukong, his eldest disciple, and these two—Zhu Wuneng and Sha Wujing—are my brothers. There are five of us altogether, including the horse. We have with us a travel rescript, and we beg you to certify it so that we may pass through.” After the woman official wrote this in the register with a brush, she came forward to kowtow, saying, “Venerable Fathers, please pardon me. This humble official is the clerk at the Male Reception Post-house. I did not know that such dignitaries from a noble nation
were on their way, and therefore I did not go to a distance to meet you.” After she kowtowed, she rose and immediately gave an order to the housekeeper to prepare food and drink. “Let the venerable fathers sit here for a while,” she said, “and this humble official will enter the capital to present a memorial to our ruler. We will certify your rescript and use our seals, so that you can be sent on your way to the West.” Delighted, Tripitaka sat down and we shall leave him for the moment.
We tell you now about that clerk of the post-house, who, after she had put on the proper attire, went to the Five Phoenix Tower inside the capital and said to the Custodian of the Yellow Gate, “I’m the clerk of the Male Reception Post-house, and I must have an audience with the throne.” The Yellow Gate at once presented the memorial, and the clerk was summoned up to the main palace hall. The queen asked, “Why does the Clerk of the post-house wish to see us?” “Your humble subject,” said the clerk, “has just received in the post-house Tripitaka Tang, the royal brother of the Great Tang Emperor in the Land of the East. He has three disciples by the names of Sun Wukong, Zhu Wuneng, and Sha Wujing; there are altogether five of them, including a horse. They are on their way to seek scriptures from the Buddha in the Western Heaven. I have come especially to report this to my queen and to ask whether they may have their travel rescript certified and the permission to pass through.” When the queen heard this report, she was filled with delight. “Last night,” she said to the civil and military officials, “we dreamed that
Luminous hues grew from the screens of gold,
Refulgent rays spread from the mirrors of jade.
That had to be a good omen for today.” “Mistress,” said the women officials in unison as they prostrated themselves before the vermilion steps, “how could you tell that it was a good omen?” The queen said, “This man from the Land of the East is a royal brother of the Tang court. In our country, the rulers of various generations since the time when chaos divided had never seen a man come here. Now the royal brother of the Tang emperor has arrived, and he must be a gift from Heaven. We will use the wealth of an entire nation to ask this royal brother to be king; we are willing to be his queen. Such a sexual union will produce children and grandchildren, and the perpetuity of our kingdom will be assured. When you consider this, is not our dream a good omen?” The women officials all kowtowed to express their delight and acclaim.
Then the clerk of the post-house said, “What our mistress has proposed is good for extending the familial line to ten thousand generations. But those three disciples of the royal brother are savage men; their appearances are most unsightly.” “According to what you have seen, worthy subject, how does that royal brother look?” asked the queen. “And how do his disciples look?”
“The royal brother,” said the clerk, “has features most dignified and handsome, truly befitting a man who belongs to the Heavenly court of a noble nation, the China of South Jambūdvīpa. His three disciples, however, have such savage looks that they appear to be spirits.” “In that case,” said the queen, “let us provide his disciples with some supplies and certify the travel rescript for them. We shall send them off to the Western Heaven, and only the royal brother will remain here. Anything wrong with that?” Again the officials bowed to say, “The words of our mistress are most appropriate, and your subjects obey your instruction. The affair of marriage, however, requires a matchmaker, for as the ancients have declared,
The marriage contract depends on red leaves;2
A couple’s joined by the moon-man’s scarlet threads.” 3
“We shall follow the counsel of our subjects,” replied the queen. “Let the present Grand Preceptor serve as our marriage go-between, and the clerk of the Male Reception Post-house as the one who officiates the ceremony. Let them go first to the post-house to propose to the royal brother. If he consents, we shall take our carriage out of the capital to receive him.” The Grand Preceptor and the clerk accepted this decree and left the court.
We now tell you about Tripitaka and his disciples, who were just enjoying their vegetarian meal at the hall of the post-house when someone came in to report: “The Grand Preceptor and our own governess have arrived.” Tripitaka said, “Why does the Grand Preceptor come here?” “Perhaps the queen wants to give us an invitation,” said Eight Rules. “If not that,” said Pilgrim, “then to offer a proposal of marriage.” “Wukong,” said Tripitaka, “if they hold us and want to force us to marry them, what shall we do?” “Master,” replied Pilgrim, “just say Yes to them. Old Monkey will take care of the matter.”
They had hardly finished speaking when the two women officials arrived and bowed deeply to the elder, who returned their salutations one by one, saying, “This humble cleric is someone who has left the family. What virtue or talent do I have that I dare let you bow to me?” When the Grand Preceptor saw how impressive the elder looked, she was delighted and thought to herself, “Our nation is truly quite lucky! Such a man is most worthy to be the husband of our ruler.” After the officials made their greetings, they stood on either side of the Tang Monk and said, “Father royal brother, we wish you ten thousand happinesses!” “I’m someone who has left the family,” replied Tripitaka. “Where do those happinesses come from?” Again bending low, the Grand Preceptor said, “This is the Women State in the Western Liang, and since time immemorial, there is not a single male in our country. We are lucky at this time to have the arrival of father royal brother. Your subject, by the decree of my ruler, has come especially to offer a proposal of marriage.” “My goodness! My goodness!” said Tripitaka. “This poor monk has arrived at your esteemed region all by himself, without the attendance of either son or daughter. I have with me only three mischievous disciples, and I wonder to which of us is offered this marriage proposal.”
The post-house clerk said, “Your lowly official just now went into court to present my report, and my ruler, in great delight, told us of an auspicious dream she had last night. She dreamed that
Luminous hues grew from the screens of gold,
Refulgent rays spread from the mirrors of jade.
When she learned that the royal brother is a man from the noble nation of China, she was willing to use the wealth of her entire nation to ask you to be her live-in husband. You would take the royal seat facing south to be called the man set apart from others,4 and our ruler would be the queen. That was why she gave the decree for the Grand Preceptor to serve as the marriage go-between and this lowly official to officiate at the wedding. We came especially to offer you this proposal.” When Tripitaka heard these words, he bowed his head and fell into complete silence. “When a man finds the time propitious,” said the Grand Preceptor, “he should not pass up such an opportunity. Though there is, to be sure, such a thing in the world as asking a husband to live in the wife’s family, the dowry of a nation’s wealth is rare indeed. May we ask the royal brother to give his quick consent, so that we may report to our ruler?” The elder, however, became more dumb and deaf than ever.
Sticking out his pestlelike snout, Eight Rules shouted, “Grand Preceptor, go back and tell your ruler that my master happens to be an arhat who has attained the Way after a long process of cultivation. He will never fall in love with the dowry of a nation’s wealth, nor will he be enamored even with beauty that can topple an empire. You may as well certify the travel rescript quickly and send them off to the West. Let me stay here to be the live-in husband. How’s that?” When the Grand Preceptor heard this, her heart quivered and her gall shook, unable to answer at all. The clerk of the post-house said, “Though you may be a male, your looks are hideous. Our ruler will not find you attractive.” “You are much too inflexible,” said Eight Rules, laughing. “As the proverb says,
The thick willow’s a basket, the thin, a barrel—
Who in the world will take a man as an ugly fellow?”
Pilgrim said, “Idiot, stop this foolish talk. Let Master make up his mind: if he wants to leave, let him leave, and if he wants to stay, let h
im stay. Let’s not waste the time of the marriage go-between.”
“Wukong,” said Tripitaka, “What do you think I ought to do?” “In old Monkey’s opinion,” replied Pilgrim, “perhaps it’s good that you stay here. As the ancients said, ‘One thread can tie up a distant marriage.’ Where will you ever find such a marvelous opportunity?” Tripitaka said, “Disciple, if we remain here to dote on riches and glory, who will go to acquire scriptures in the Western Heaven? Won’t the waiting kill my emperor of the Great Tang?” The Grand Preceptor said, “In the presence of the royal brother, your humble official dares not hide the truth. The wish of our ruler is only to offer you the proposal of marriage. After your disciples have attended the wedding banquet, provisions will be given them and the travel rescript will be certified, so that they may proceed to the Western Heaven to acquire the scriptures.”
“What the Grand Preceptor said is most reasonable,” said Pilgrim, “and we need not be difficult about this. We are willing to let our master remain here to become the husband of your mistress. Certify our rescript quickly and send us off to the West. When we have acquired the scriptures, we will return here to visit father and mother and ask for travel expenses so that we may go back to the Great Tang.” Both the Grand Preceptor and the clerk of the post-house bowed to Pilgrim as they said, “We thank this teacher for his kind assistance in concluding this marriage.” Eight Rules said, “Grand Preceptor, don’t use only your mouth to set the table! Since we have given our consent, tell your mistress to prepare us a banquet first. Let us have an engagement drink. How about it?” “Of course! Of course!” said the Grand Preceptor. “We’ll send you a feast at once.” In great delight, the Grand Preceptor left with the clerk of the post-house.