by Unknown
We tell you now about our elder Tang, who caught hold of Pilgrim immediately and berated him, crying, “Monkey head! Your tricks are killing me! How could you say such things and ask me to get married here while you people go to the Western Heaven to see Buddha? Even if I were to die, I would not dare do this.” “Relax, Master,” said Pilgrim, “old Monkey’s not ignorant of how you feel. But since we have reached this place and met this kind of people, we have no alternative but to meet plot with plot.” “What do you mean by that?” asked Tripitaka.
Pilgrim said, “If you persist in refusing them, they will not certify our travel rescript nor will they permit us to pass through. If they grow vicious and order many people to cut you up and use your flesh to make those so-called fragrant bags, do you think that we will treat them with kindness? We will, of course, bring out our abilities that are meant to subdue demons and dispel fiends. Our hands and feet are quite heavy, you know, and our weapons ferocious. Once we lift our hands, the people of this entire nation will be wiped out. But you must think of this, however. Although they are now blocking our path, they are no fiendish creatures or monster-spirits; all of them in this country are humans. And you have always been a man committed to kindness and compassion, refusing to hurt even one sentient being on our way. If we slaughter all these common folk here, can you bear it? That would be true wickedness.”
When Tripitaka heard this, he said, “Wukong, what you have just said is most virtuous. But I fear that if the queen asks me to enter the palace, she will want me to perform the conjugal rite with her. How could I consent to lose my original yang and destroy the virtue of Buddhism, to leak my true sperm and fall from the humanity of our faith?” “Once we have agreed to the marriage,” said Pilgrim, “she will no doubt follow royal etiquette and send her carriage out of the capital to receive you. Don’t refuse her. Take a ride in her phoenix carriage and dragon chariot to go up to the treasure hall, and then sit down on the throne facing south. Ask the queen to take out her imperial seal and summon us brothers to go into court. After you have stamped the seal on the rescript, tell the queen to sign the document also and give it back to us. Meanwhile, you can tell them to prepare a huge banquet; call it a wedding feast as well as a farewell party for us.
After the banquet, ask for the chariot once more on the excuse that you want to see us off outside the capital before you return to consummate the marriage with the queen. In this way, both ruler and subjects will be duped into false happiness; they will no longer try to block our way, nor will they have any cause to become vicious. Once we reach the outskirts of the capital, you will come down from the dragon chariot and Sha Monk will help you to mount the white horse immediately. Old Monkey will then use his magic of immobility to make all of them, ruler and subjects, unable to move. We can then follow the main road to the West. After one day and one night, I will recite a spell to recall the magic and release all of them, so that they can wake up and return to the city. For one thing, their lives will be preserved, and for another, your primal soul will not be hurt. This is a plot called Fleeing the Net by a False Marriage. Isn’t it a doubly advantageous act?” When Tripitaka heard these words, he seemed as if he were snapping out of a stupor or waking up from a dream. So delighted was he that he forgot all his worries and thanked Pilgrim profusely, saying, “I’m deeply grateful for my worthy disciple’s lofty intelligence.” And so, the four of them were united in their decision, and we shall leave them for the moment.
We tell you now about that Grand Preceptor and the clerk of the post-house, who dashed inside the gate of the court without even waiting for summons and went before the white-jade steps. “The auspicious dream of our mistress is most accurate,” they cried, “and nuptial bliss will soon be yours.” When the queen heard this report, she had the pearly screen rolled up; descending from the dragon couch, she opened her cherry lips to reveal her silvery teeth and asked, full of smiles and in a most seductive voice, “What did the royal brother say after our worthy subjects saw him?” “After your subjects reached the post-house,” said the Grand Preceptor, “and bowed to the royal brother, we immediately presented to him our proposal of marriage. The royal brother still expressed some reluctance, but it was fortunate that his eldest disciple gave his consent for them without hesitation. He was willing to let his master become the husband of our ruler and call himself king, facing south. All he wanted was to have their travel rescript certified so that the three of them could leave for the West. On their way back after acquiring the scriptures, they will come here to bow to father and mother and ask for travel expenses to go back to the Great Tang.” “Did the royal brother say anything more?” asked the queen, smiling. The Grand Preceptor said, “The royal brother did not say anything more, but he seemed to be willing to marry our mistress. His second disciple, however, wanted to drink to their consent first.”
When the queen heard this, she at once ordered the Court of Imperial Entertainments to prepare a banquet. She also requested that her imperial cortege be readied so that she might go out of the capital to receive her husband. The various women officials, in obedience to the queen’s command, began to sweep and clean the palaces and to prepare the banquet with the utmost haste. Look at them! Though this State of Western Liang happens to be a dominion of women, the carriage and chariot are not less opulent than those of China. You see
Six dragons belching colors—
Two phoenixes bringing luck—
Six dragons, belching colors, support the chariot;
Two phoenixes, bringing luck, lift up the carriage.
Strange fragrance in endless waves;
Auspicious airs continuously rise.
Fish-pendants of gold or jade worn by many ministers;
Rows and rows of lovely locks and bejeweled hair.
A royal carriage shielded by mandarin-duck fans;
Through pearly screens glisten the phoenix hairpins.
Melodic pipes,
Harmonious strings.
What great sense of joy reaching to the sky!
What boundless bliss leaving the Estrade Numina.5
Three-layered canopies wave above the royal house;
Five-colored banners light up the imperial steps.
This land has ne’er seen the nuptial cup exchanged;
Today the queen marries a gifted man.
In a moment, the imperial cortege left the capital and arrived at the Male Reception Post-house. Someone went inside to announce to Tripitaka and his disciples: “The imperial cortege has arrived.” On hearing this, Tripitaka straightened out his clothes and left the main hall with the three disciples to meet the carriage. As the queen rolled up the screen to descend from the carriage, she asked, “Which is the royal brother of the Tang court?” Pointing with her ringer, the Grand Preceptor said, “The one in a clerical robe standing behind the incense table outside the post-house gate.” Lifting her moth-brows and opening wide her phoenix-eyes, the queen stared at him and found that this was an uncommon figure indeed. Look at him!
What handsome features!
What dignified looks!
Teeth white like silver bricks,
Ruddy lips and a square mouth.
His head’s flat-topped, his forehead, wide and full;
Lovely eyes, neat eyebrows, and a chin that’s long.
Two well-rounded ears betoken someone brave.
He is all elegance, a gifted man.
What a youthful, clever, and comely son of love,
Worthy to wed Western Liang’s gorgeous girl!
Utterly ravished by what she saw, the queen was swept away by amorous passion. Opening her tiny, cherrylike mouth, she cried out: “Royal brother of the Great Tang, aren’t you coming to take and ride the phoenix?” When Tripitaka heard these words, his ears turned red and his face, scarlet; filled with embarrassment, he dared not lift his head at all.
On one side, however, Zhu Eight Rules stuck up his snout and stared with glassy eyes at the queen, who was quite beguil
ing herself. Truly she had
Brows like kingfisher hair,
And flesh like mutt on jade.
Peach petals bedeck her face;
Her bun piles gold-phoenix hair.
Her eyes’ cool, liquid gaze—such seductive charm.
Her hands’ young, tender shoots—such dainty form.
Colors flutter from a red sash hung aslant;
Bright gleams flash forth from jade and pearl pinned high.
Don’t speak of the beauty of Zhaojun,
She indeed surpasses even Xi Shi.6
The willow waist bends slightly to gold-pendant sounds;
The light, lotus steps move the jadelike limbs.
The lunar goddess cannot come up to her,
Nor can the maids of Heaven compare with her.
Her fair, palace style’s not of a worldly school;
She’s like Queen Mother from Jasper Pool.
As our Idiot gazed at this pleasing figure, he could not restrain the saliva from drooling out of his mouth and the deer pounding at his heart. All at once, he grew weak and numb and simply melted away like a snow lion faced with fire!
The queen went forward and caught hold of Tripitaka. In a most seductive voice, she said, “Royal brother darling, please ascend the dragon chariot so that we may go to the Treasure Hall of Golden Chimes and become husband and wife.” Shaking so hard that he could barely stand up, our elder behaved as if he were drunk or mesmerized. Pilgrim on one side whispered to him, “Master, don’t be too modest. Please get in the carriage with our mistress. Go and have our rescript certified quickly so that we may proceed to fetch the scriptures.” The elder did not dare reply; he tugged at Pilgrim a couple of times and he could no longer stop the tears from falling down. “Master, you must not be distressed,” said Pilgrim. “Look at all these riches! If you don’t enjoy them now, when are you going to do it?” Tripitaka had little alternative but to acquiesce. Wiping away his tears, he forced himself to appear happy and joined the queen as they,
Holding hands together,
Rode the dragon carriage.
In great delight the queen wanted to get married;
In great fear the elder wished only to worship Buddha.
One desired amorous play in the bridal chamber;
One sought to see the World-Honored One at Mount Spirit.
The queen was sincere;
The monk pretended,
The queen was sincere,
Hoping to reach old age in harmony.
The monk pretended,
Guarding his feelings to nurse his primal spirit.
One was so glad to see a man
That she would couple with him in broad daylight.
One dreaded to meet a woman
And thought only to flee and go to Thunderclap.
The two mounted jointly the chariot.
Who knew Tang Monk was of another mind!
When those civil and military officials saw that their ruler and the Tang Monk had ascended the phoenix carriage and sat side by side together, every one of them beamed with pleasure. The entire entourage turned around and went back into the capital.
Meanwhile, the Great Sage Sun told Sha Monk to pole the luggage and lead the white horse to follow the imperial cortege. Zhu Eight Rules, however, scurried ahead and ran madly up to the Tower of Five Phoenixes first, shouting all the while, “What comfort! What an opportunity! But this can’t be done until we have drunk the wedding wine and presented ourselves to the kinfolk first.” Those officials who were attending the cortege were so terrified that they went to the chariot and said, “My Lady, that monk who has a long snout and huge ears is shouting in front of the Five Phoenix Towers for wedding wine to drink.” When the queen heard this, she leaned her fragrant shoulder over to the elder and put her peachlike cheeks up to his face. Opening her scented mouth, she said softly, “Royal brother darling, which disciple of yours is that one with a long snout and huge ears?” “He’s my second disciple,” said Tripitaka, “and he has a huge appetite. In fact, he loves to indulge his mouth throughout his life. He must be given some food and drink first before we can proceed with our business.” The queen asked hurriedly, “Has the Court of Imperial Entertainments finished preparing the banquet?” “It has,” reported one of the officials. “There are both meat and vegetarian dishes set up in the East Hall.” “Why both?” asked the queen again. “We fear that the royal brother of the Tang court,” said the official, “and his disciples are accustomed to keeping a vegetarian diet. That is why we have both meat and vegetarian dishes.” Full of smiles, the queen again snuggled close to the elder and said, “Royal brother darling, do you eat meat, or are you keeping a vegetarian diet?” Tripitaka said, “This humble priest observes a vegetarian diet, but my disciples have not abstained from wine. My second disciple would like very much to have a few cups of dietary wine.”
They had not finished speaking when the Grand Preceptor approached them and said, “Please go to the East Hall7 to attend the banquet. Today is an auspicious day, and Your Majesty can marry the venerable royal brother. Tomorrow Heaven will reveal the Yellow Road,8 and we shall invite the venerable royal brother to ascend the treasure hall and face south. He can then designate the name of his reign and assume the throne.” Highly pleased, the queen held hands with the elder to descend from the dragon chariot and enter the main palace gate. They were met by
Music divine, wind-waft ed from the towers,
As the jade carriage moved through palace gates.
Phoenix doors flung wide to bright flares of light;
The palace now opened with rows of brocade.
The unicorn hall was draped o’er by incense smoke;
Bright corridors wound round the peacock screens.
Towers rose rugged like the noble state’s,
With jade halls, gold horses more wondrous still.
When they reached the East Hall,
They heard a choir of melodious strings and pipes;
They saw two rows of winsome, graceful maids.
Two kinds of sumptuous repast were set up in the central hall: on the head table to the left was the vegetarian spread, whereas meat dishes were placed on the right. Two rows of single tables were also set up toward the front of the hall. Rolling up her sleeves to reveal her dainty, pointed fingers, the queen immediately picked up a jade cup to toast her guests. Pilgrim went forward to say, “We are all keeping a vegetarian diet. Let our master be seated at the head table on the left. Then we three brothers may take the single tables on both sides of him.” “Yes! Yes!” said the Grand Preceptor in delight. “Master and disciples are just like father and sons. They should not sit side by side.” The various officials hurriedly set up the tables in proper order, after which the queen toasted each of them as he took his seat. Thereafter, Pilgrim gave the Tang Monk a look, indicating to his master to return the salutation. Tripitaka, therefore, left his seat and, holding the jade goblet, also toasted the queen. The other civil and military officials all knelt to thank the imperial favor before they took the other seats on both sides according to their ranks. The music stopped and they began to drink and eat.
As Eight Rules was bent on satisfying his stomach, he had little regard for consequence. It did not matter that the food before him was corn, steamed breads, sweet pastries, butt on mushrooms, black mushrooms, tender bamboo shoots, wood-ears, Chinese cabbage, seaweed, laver, green turnips, taros, white turnips, yams, or yellow sperms—in big gulps, he finished them all, washing down the food with seven or eight cups of wine. “Bring us more food!” he hollered. “Bring some big steins! After we drink a few more steins, each of us will attend to our business.” “Such a fine feast and you don’t want to enjoy some more?” asked Sha Monk. “What sort of business do you want to attend to?” With a laugh, our Idiot said, “As the ancients said,
Let the bow-maker make his bow,
The arrow-maker his arrow.
At this time, those of us who want to take a wife may take a w
ife, and those of us who want to marry a husband may marry a husband. Those who want to acquire scriptures need to be on their way to acquire scriptures. We can’t let the coveted cup delay our affairs. Let’s have our rescript certified quickly. As the saying goes,
If the general does not dismount,
Every man will go his own way.”
When the queen heard this, she asked for big cups, and the attendants quickly took out several parrot cups, cormorant-shaped ladles, gold beakers, silver chalices, glass goblets, crystal basins, Penglai bowls, and amber steins. They filled these with the mellowest of wines and all of the disciples drank a round.
Tripitaka then rose from the table and bowed to the queen with hands folded, saying, “Your Majesty, thank you for this lavish feast. We have drunk quite enough. Please ascend the treasure hall and certify our rescript. While there is still light, let us send the three of them on their way.” The queen agreed. After the banquet had been dismissed, she led the elder by the hand up to the Hall of Golden Chimes and immediately wanted the elder to take the throne. “No! No!” said Tripitaka. “Just now the Grand Preceptor said that tomorrow would be the proper auspicious day, and only then would this poor monk dare assume the throne and call myself the man set apart. Today you should use your seal on the rescript so that they may be sent away.” Again the queen agreed and sat down on the dragon couch. A golden high-backed chair was placed on the left of the couch for the Tang Monk to sit on. Then the disciples were asked to bring forth the travel rescript. After Sha Monk untied the wrap and took it out, the Great Sage presented the rescript with both hands to the queen. When she examined it, she found on the document the marks of nine treasure seals of the Great Tang Emperor, together with the seals of the Precious Image Kingdom, the Black Rooster Kingdom, and the Cart Slow Kingdom. After the queen had looked at the document, she said again, smiling seductively, “So royal brother darling also bears the name of Chen?” “That is the surname of my secular family,” said Tripitaka, “and my religious name is Xuanzang. Because the Tang emperor in his imperial kindness took me as his brother, he bestowed on me the name of Tang.” “Why is it,” asked the queen, “that the rescript does not contain the names of your disciples?” “My three mischievous disciples,” replied Tripitaka, “are not people from the Tang court.” “If they are not,” asked the queen once more, “how is it that they are willing to follow you on your journey?”