Homespun Hearts

by Caroline Fyffe

  “I was thinking tomorrow would be a good day to do some fishing if you want to. I asked you father for the day off, and he said he didn’t mind.” He had deliberately asked for a day off, just so they could be together. If nothing else could convince her that he loved her, maybe taking extra time off work just to spend with her would.

  Lily thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. “I don’t think so. I have some knitting I want to do for the battered women’s shelter.” Which was true as far as it went. She liked to help make things for the shelter, so the women there could have afghans and gloves and hats. Of course, she usually didn’t knit them, but she certainly knew how. She wanted him to think that she was a capable woman and what better way than to do womanly things?

  Daniel stared at her in shock. She was going to knit instead of fish? “Well, you could take your knitting and I could fish while you knit. Then you could be outside while you do it.” He knew if he could get her there she’d fish with him. It was his favorite thing to do with his wife, so hopefully she’d just give in gracefully.

  Lily shrugged. She wanted to spend time with him, but she didn’t want him to think of her as boyish anymore. She wanted him to be satisfied with the woman he’d married and not some ideal he was looking for. “That sounds fine. I’ll pack a picnic lunch for us, if you’d like.”

  Daniel smiled, brushing a kiss across her lips. “I’d like that a lot.” He wished he knew what was going through her mind, but there was no telling. She’d been a closed book to him lately.

  * * *

  Lily dressed in one of her pretty dresses the next day, and Daniel stared at her in shock. “Why aren’t you wearing your pants?”

  “I’m a married lady now. I need to dress accordingly.”

  “But I’ll be the only one there to see you!” he protested. He hated the idea of her being uncomfortable and worried about getting messy all day just so she could look like a lady. What happened to the tomboy he’d fallen in love with and married?

  She walked to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I want to look nice for you, silly. I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me.” And she didn’t, but his opinion truly mattered to her.

  His arms wrapped around her. “But I like how you look in pants. And nightgowns. And nothing at all. I really don’t care about any of that. As long as you’re beside me, I’m happy.” He kissed the top of her head, wishing he could convey to her that she didn’t need to change to please him, but it seemed futile.

  She smiled slightly. “I’ll wear my dress.”

  He grinned. “Well, when you wear a dress, it is easier to do this…” He slowly inched her skirt up and clutched her thigh, wrapping it around one of his legs, and then brought her other leg up around him. He took the three steps it took to topple her backward onto the bed, landing between her legs. “Now I have you at my mercy.”

  She giggled. “What will you do with me?” Not that she had any questions about what he’d do, of course. He’d demonstrated that over and over in an extremely satisfying fashion.

  He laughed lecherously as he reached down to unfasten his pants, pulling out his already hard member. “What I always do with you, of course.” He moved atop her, his mouth going to her lips, beginning the dance she was so familiar with.

  They never made it to the stream that day for fishing or knitting or for anything else. Instead, they spent their day in bed, talking and laughing. The picnic she’d fixed was eaten in the middle of the bed as they simply enjoyed one another’s company.

  He talked about his job at the bank and how he would have to work extra hours because her father had to let Charles go. She talked about the battered women’s house, expressing sadness that there were men who would treat women so badly in the world.

  “I’ll hate it if you’re not home as much,” she told him. She may not be willing to be her true self around him, but she’d never stop telling him small truths like how he made her feel when he was around.

  “I know. As soon as your father finds someone new, it’ll be my job to train him, so it’ll probably be a month of longer hours, and then back to normal again.” He stroked her cheek. “It’s a good thing I love my job.”

  Lily laughed. “You just love getting favored treatment as the boss’s son-in-law.” Her words were said laughingly, but there was a small modicum of truth to them she couldn’t deny.

  Daniel frowned, looking at her. “You don’t think that’s why I married you, do you?”

  Lily shook her head. “No, of course not.” But she had worried about it. Why else would he settle for her? “I was just teasing you.”

  “Good. Because I married you for you, Lily. For your laughter, your fun nature, and for your luscious body.” He leaned down and licked her collar bone. “Mmm.”

  She giggled. “You’re silly.” She loved it when he made her laugh. Making love without laughter would be a horrible thing.

  “You like me when I’m silly.” There was no question in his voice.

  She sighed contentedly. Somehow when they were naked what clothes she wore ceased to matter and she could just be herself.

  She grabbed his head, pulling him down for a passionate kiss, suddenly needing to show him just how much she loved him in the only way she was certain would work. She couldn’t make herself say the words any longer, because he felt the need to say them back and she knew they were a lie. Each time he told her he loved her, she felt like she died a little more inside.

  Her tongue tangled with his as her hands stroked up and down his body, in a way he’d shown her over the weeks of their marriage. Finally, she pushed against his shoulders and rolled him to his back, looking down at his body stretched out beside her. She quickly kissed a trail down his body, over his nipples and across his tight abdomen.

  His groan had her looking up at him in surprise. He liked that? She grinned, knowing that he was under her spell. There was no way he could be thinking about her sister while she was touching him this way. She stared for a moment at his already erect manhood, before scooting down to kiss just the tip of it.

  He growled and grabbed her shoulders, trying to force her to her back, but she resisted. Instead, with her eyes locked on his, she straddled him, her moist heat hovering over him, before she dropped down. Her eyes widened, startled. She’d never been quite so adventurous with him, and she was shocked at how much better this felt than when he was in control. She slowly took all of him inside her, loving the look in his eyes as she controlled their passion.

  She wasn’t certain what it was, but suddenly, she had all the confidence she needed. She leaned over him, her hands on either side of his head, and she rocked them slowly toward completion. Her lips brushed his, and she jerked against him as she climaxed, loving his hands on her body.

  She collapsed on top of him, more sweaty than usual and feeling much more sated. She buried her face in his neck, happy they’d had a day to just spend together in bed and enjoy being with each other. She’d needed it more than anything.

  His hands clutched her to him, stroking over her back, startled that she’d taken control from him that way. He’d never imagined a woman would excite him quite that much. What was it about the beautiful tomboy in his arms that made him feel so loved? To him, she was perfection, and he couldn’t imagine spending his life with anyone but Lily. He just had to figure out how to make her see that she was the most important person in the world to him.

  * * *

  Lily woke with a little more confidence and a spring in her step the following day. She enjoyed her time at the battered women’s home, working this time with Laura, a young woman of about sixteen, in the garden.

  “You really don’t mind getting your hands dirty, do you?” Laura asked. She eyed the dirt, and Lily, with a wrinkled nose, obviously thinking the dirt was beneath her.

  Lily laughed. “I don’t. I’ve always been something of a tomboy and love to be outside.” She shrugged, making no apologies for being who she was. She was
a hard worker and that was the most important thing.

  Laura made a face. “Not me. I hate worms and slimy things.” She sighed. “It’s probably the difference in how we were raised though.” She sniffed softly. “I was raised in the East. I’m sure you’re a farmer’s daughter or something.” The disdain in her voice was obvious. She made it very clear that she thought gardening, and Lily, were beneath her.

  Lily couldn’t believe the assumption. “I guess it makes sense to think that, but I’m a banker’s daughter. I think you know my sister, Rose?” Her eyes looked up from her gardening and she met Laura’s daring her to say anything else against her.

  Laura blinked a few times before laughing slightly. “I’m so sorry. I was being really snotty, wasn’t I?” She shook her head before dropping to her knees beside Lily trying to help get all the weeds out of the ground for the spring planting. “I guess you really can’t judge a book by its cover.” The girl’s voice was filled with remorse.

  Lily grinned. “No, you can’t. I never liked doing all the girly things that my mother expected me to do, but now that I’m married, I try to act more feminine.” She sighed. “At least when my husband’s around.” She gave Laura a wink.

  “Oh, I didn’t know you were married.” She looked at Lily with surprise. “What’s his name?”

  “Daniel. We’ve only been married a couple of months, though.” Lily looked over at Laura who now had her hands in the dirt beside her. Lily wondered if the other woman would have helped if she hadn’t realized they were of a similar background. “What was your marriage like?”

  Laura shook her head. “William and I have been married for just a year. Right after we got married, he decided he wanted to come out west. He heard about all the job opportunities out here, so we came to Seattle. He’s a logger.” She kept her face averted as she talked about him.

  Lily nodded, encouraging her to talk. She was there to help out around the house, but she found that the women there seemed to move on a lot faster if they had someone they could talk to about what had happened. “Did you like being a logger’s wife?”

  Laura sighed heavily. “I wasn’t brought up doing all the work in the house. We had servants. I probably should have been better at it.” Her voice held a lot of remorse.

  “Why do you say that?”

  Laura shrugged. “Every time I burned a meal, he’d get angry. At first, he just yelled a lot, but then he started hitting me.” She pointed to her nose, which was still swollen and bruised. “I went to the doctor the first time he broke something, but he did so much more before that.”

  Lily could see the bruises on her arms. “I’m glad you came here.” Despite the younger girl’s obvious feelings of superiority, Lily was glad to have her around.

  “My mother would be mortified if she knew I left my husband. She thinks that you should stay with a man no matter what.” Laura pulled another weed and threw it into the pile they’d made. “I don’t know what I’ll do from here.”

  Lily nodded understandingly. “Have you tried to find a job to support yourself?” She was glad the other woman wasn’t with child. At least there were no extra mouths to feed.

  “Not yet. I’ve only been here a couple of days and Mr. and Mrs. Higgins told me to take it easy at first. They said I have all the time I need before I get a job and move out.” She looked over at Lily. “I have no skills. I’m not really fit to work. I don’t know what I’ll do to support myself, but if I go back to my mother, she’ll just force me to come out here again, because of her beliefs.”

  Lily patted her arm, the first time she’d touched her, and wasn’t surprised when the younger woman shied away from her. “We’ll find you something you’re good at.”

  “Does your husband hit you?”

  If anyone else had asked her that, Lily would have been shocked, but here, the women seemed to think it was the normal way of things. Lily shook her head. “No, he never would.” Daniel wasn’t perfect, but he would never hit a woman.

  “Then why are your eyes so sad? Don’t you love him?” Laura obviously didn’t understand.

  Lily was startled by that question. Were her eyes sad? “I do love him. I’ve loved him since I was twelve.” She sucked in a breath. “He’s in love with my sister, though.” She spoke the last words in a whisper. Sure, she’d told other people the same thing, but this woman was a virtual stranger.

  Laura’s eyes widened. “He told you that?”

  Lily shook her head. “He didn’t have to tell me. He courted Rose long before he ever courted me. When she married someone else, he turned his attentions to me. He keeps telling me he loves me, but I know he doesn’t. He loves my sister.”

  “Why don’t you believe him? Has he done something to make you distrust him?” Laura looked at Lily questioningly.

  “No, but he was in love with my sister for years, and he couldn’t have gone from her to me. We’re so different. There’s no way he loves me.” Lily felt like crying as she said the words, but she held it in. This woman had been through so much that her troubles seemed trivial in comparison.

  Laura shook her head. “I hope you haven’t told him that. I don’t think you’re being very fair to your husband claiming that he’s lying when he says he loves you. Maybe something happened to make him realize that she was all wrong for him.”

  “Well, he says that she would have bored him within a week.” But she knew he didn’t mean it. How could he? He hadn’t been bored when he’d followed her around with a pack of other young men.

  Laura nodded. “And when you have relations? Does he seem to be thinking of someone else?”

  Lily thought about that. “No, of course not. His mind is definitely on me and what we’re doing.” What did that have to do with anything?

  “I think you’re throwing his love back in his face for no reason. You need to trust him and tell him you trust him, or he really will stop loving you.” Laura dug a few more weeds out with a vengeance. “A lot of women would be thrilled to be in your shoes, and you’re unhappy. You’re not being very fair to your husband.”

  Nothing more was said between the two women as they continued weeding the garden. Lily couldn’t believe Laura was being so blunt with her, but she realized that maybe it was what she needed.

  Chapter Eight

  All that day, Lily couldn’t take her mind off what Laura had said to her. As she walked home through the bustling Seattle streets, her mind was still on Daniel and whether or not he could possibly be telling her the truth. He said he loved her, but he’d said the same thing about Rose for a lot of years. How could she know for sure?

  As she was passing the bank, Daniel stepped outside, calling her name. She turned with a smile on her lips. He rushed to her side and kissed her briefly on the mouth. “Where are you headed?” she asked. “Aren’t you supposed to work another hour?” Not that she wasn’t happy to see him. Sometimes she felt like she was only truly alive when he was with her.

  “Your father said to go home early and take my bride out for dinner somewhere special.” He shrugged. “Who am I to argue with the boss man?”

  She smiled. “But what about the dinner being prepared at home?” She didn’t really care, but for Rebecca’s sake she felt she should make a token protest.

  “Does it really matter? Rebecca can heat it up for lunch tomorrow or for dinner again tomorrow night.” He took her hand pulling her toward the restaurant. “I want to take you out to dinner tonight.”

  “I’d love that.” She watched his face more closely, wondering if Laura could be right. Could he have switched from loving Rose to loving her? Was that even possible with as different as the two of them were? And did I even have a right to tell him who he did love and who he didn’t love?

  Once they were seated in the restaurant and had placed their orders, he took her hand and brought it to his lips. “I missed you today.”

  She grinned. “I missed you, too. I kept thinking about yesterday.” Her eyes twinkled into his. “I w
ant to have another day like that very soon.”

  His lips spread into a wide grin. “I could give Rebecca the day off on Saturday and we could spend the afternoon on a blanket in the back garden.” Rebecca was their only servant. A day off for her would mean being all alone.

  She thought about their back garden with the high stone wall around it. “That sounds very nice.” Her tongue slowly licked her lips. “I used to think fishing was the best way to spend a Saturday afternoon. I think I found a way that’s even better.” Her eyelids were heavy as she looked at him, remembering how it had felt last night. She couldn’t wait to feel him deep inside her again.

  “That’s a plan.”

  She was startled at how carnal her thoughts had become and quickly cleared her throat. “How was work today?” She knew he’d understand her sudden change of subject, but she prayed he’d just go with it and not say anything.

  He nodded. “It was good. Your father hired a new man to replace Charles, and he’s a fast learner. He’s already doing a better job than Charles did after working at the bank for three weeks.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “What did you do today?” he asked, his eyes still boring into hers, letting her know in no uncertain terms what they’d be doing as soon as they got home that evening.

  “I worked at the shelter again.” She wondered if she should bring up her conversation with Laura but decided against it. He didn’t need to hear that she had talked to someone else about her private fears. Especially a total stranger.

  “What did they have you doing today?”

  “I worked in the garden. There are a lot of dead plants and weeds that need to be cleared out before we can plant the vegetables for the kitchen garden.” She never talked about the way the different women talked to her there. She felt like their lives needed to be kept confidential.

  “Did you have help, or was it just you this time?”

  “A new woman worked with me.” She laughed. “She assumed she couldn’t dig in the dirt and I could because she thought I was a farmer’s daughter.” She knew she shouldn’t be amused, but she was. How could she not be?