The Big Ohhh

by Ashton, Nikki

  I burst out laughing and pulled Willow to me, only to wince when her knee very gently brushed against my boxers.

  “Oh shit, I’m sorry,” she said, moving away from me.

  “No, don’t move, just keep your knees away from the goods.” I huffed out a breath, feeling the tenderness of my dick. “Okay, so what advice is it you’d like, hey?”

  I kissed the end of Willow’s nose being careful to not get too close as her expressive silver eyes looked up at me with hesitancy.

  “I can’t give you my wisdom if you don’t tell me, can I?”

  She rubbed at her nose and then let out a long breath. “I think my youngest brother might be taking drugs.”

  “Woah, okay.” I raised my brows. I didn’t know her brother, but I was getting to know Willow and she was a pretty straight to the point person as far as I could tell, so if she thought that he was involved in something dodgy maybe she was right. “And what makes you think that?”

  “I caught him looking shifty in the corridor at Carrington’s. He was talking to another guy, about his age, but when he spotted me, he moved away and pretty much sent the guy packing.”

  “That doesn’t mean it was drugs. He might have been surprised to see you. Didn’t you say he ignores you when you’re out?”

  “Well yeah, but...”

  “But what?” I asked as I watched concern and worry mask her face.

  “It was more than that. They both looked…well, shifty. I have no clue what to do. Do I ask him? Do I tell my parents?”

  I shook my head. “Don’t worry your parents before you need to, before you have the full facts. Maybe speak to – Ruben is your youngest brother, isn’t he?”

  She nodded, smiled and cupped her small hand against my cheek. I wasn’t sure why, but she was looking at me as if I was a damn superhero.

  “Well, maybe speak to Ruben first and see if you can get him to open up. If your relationship is on dodgy ground already you don’t want to make it worse by telling your mum and dad if there’s nothing going on.”

  “I don’t know what else it could be?” she groaned as she buried her head in the pillow.

  “Hey, come on,” I said, stroking a hand down her hair. “It could be nothing more than him not wanting you to meet his friends, or the guy might be dodgy, and he doesn’t want you getting to know him. To be honest, it’s probably more likely he doesn’t want you in his business.”

  Willow looked up at me and contemplated what I’d said. “You think so?”

  “Only he knows at this point what was going on, all I’m saying is, don’t jump to conclusions and if it is drugs then you tell your parents and get him the help he needs.”

  A bright smile spread across her face and the worry went from her eyes. “You see, cock disaster aside, you are very wise.”

  “I know.”

  As I moved to kiss her, Willow gave another huge yawn in my face.

  “Ooh sorry, morning breath,” she groaned, slapping a hand over her mouth.

  “Hmm, I’ve smelled fresher, I’ve got to be honest.”

  We both laughed and then yawned at exactly the same time.

  “How about we get a couple more hours sleep?” I picked up my phone and looked at the time. “It’s still only seven-thirty and it’s Sunday morning, so unless you have to be somewhere…”

  “Nope. More…” she yawned again, “sleep sounds good. Turn on your side away from me.”

  “Why, is my morning breath that bad too?”

  “No,” she said, as she smacked my chest playfully. “Mine’s gross, but I want to cuddle and with the state of your thing down there, you can’t spoon me, so I’ll be the big spoon on this occasion.”

  God, I really liked this girl. She was so straight and natural and didn’t care about the shit that was going on in my life, or the fact that I had an out of action dick.

  “Sounds good to me.” I gave her a soft kiss and then turned over.

  Willow took a couple of minutes to get herself comfy, and her wriggling around next to my arse didn’t help the dick situation. I willed it to get hard, but it was most definitely on strike while it was injured, but when Willow settled and linked her fingers with mine, resting on my hip, I was more than satisfied.

  “Night-night,” she whispered and dropped a kiss to my shoulder blade.

  It might have been girly, and I would never admit to anyone, especially my brother, but I felt butterflies take flight in the pit of my stomach and it was the best feeling ever.

  I lifted our joined hands to my lips and kissed the back of Willow’s and then kept a tight hold of it against my chest for the extra three hours that we slept.

  You can have a quickie without leaving your table at a restaurant. If the tablecloth is long, just use your big toe to masturbate each other – moral of the story, wash your feet before you go out to dinner.

  * * *

  Willow

  “Charlie,” I giggled down the phone. “I’m fine, it’s midday on a Sunday and nothing is going to happen to me.”

  “Your taxi driver might be dangerous,” he replied with a laugh.

  I looked at the little, bald man, who was probably half my body weight, driving the car and grinned.

  “I think I’m safe, so go and do whatever it is you need to do.”

  “I want to be sure you get home okay. I wish you’d have let me drive you.”

  I knew he was pouting; I could hear it in his voice.

  “You have to take Johnny to his swimming physio, so the last thing you needed was to drive me home.”

  “It’d have taken twenty minutes at most.”

  “And twenty back, making it forty, not forgetting the snogging time we’d have needed before I got out of your car.”

  I couldn’t help but grin and feel a little bit warm and fuzzy all over. Besides the sex, which we hadn’t managed particularly successfully yet, things were going well between us. The morning snuggles had been lovely, especially as he held my hand the whole time. We’d only woken when we had because Johnny had barged in bawling at Charlie, saying we needed to get up because he had his physio at the pool in an hour and didn’t want to be late.

  “Oh yeah, can’t forget to add on the snogging time,” Charlie said, his tone low and seductive.

  As I allowed my head to think of things that made my heart flip, the taxi pulled to a stop at the end of our driveway.

  “I’m home,” I sighed and almost asked the driver to go around the block, so I could continue my conversation with Charlie. “Hold on a sec.”

  The driver pressed the button of his fare meter and turned to me in his seat.

  “That’s seven-seventy please.”

  I handed him a tenner and waved away the change before I got out of the taxi.

  “I’m back,” I said as I started to walk up the drive.

  “You’ve paid almost eight quid for a taxi.” Charlie growled down my ear.

  “Well ten actually, I let him keep the change.”

  “I could have driven you,” he sighed. “And you’d have got a snog at the end of it, I bet the taxi driver didn’t offer you that.”

  “No because that would have been almost like prostitution, me paying for a service with sex.” I stopped walking and looked down at the drive and kicked at a pebble while I grinned like a stupid idiot.

  “I’m on board with that, although I’m not sure I agree with it with the taxi driver, but next time you want to pay me with sex, that’s fine.”

  I continued to smile, but at the mention of us having sex, the joy left me. I really wanted to have great sex with him, but I was beginning to think it wasn’t going to happen. I knew it was quite soon for me to have sex with someone, particularly as we were only dating, but bearing in mind he’d started out as a one-night stand, the four-date rule seemed a little redundant.

  I then remembered the ‘one-night stand’ and how that had been disastrous in the sex department too, and my happiness ebbed away a little bit more.

&n
bsp; “Maybe we should consider it then,” I replied, the flirtation gone from my voice. “Anyway, you need to go, and I’d better get inside and let my parents know I’m still alive.”

  “Didn’t you tell them where you were last night?” he asked, sounding concerned. “Willow.”

  “I did, I sent them both a text, so stop worrying. I was joking, honestly.”

  “I hope so because I don’t want to piss your mum and dad off.”

  “Why?” I asked as I furrowed my brows together.

  “Because I don’t.” He sounded serious but didn’t elaborate. “Okay, well I’d better go, and I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  My heart sank, hoping he might want to chat later, but I couldn’t be greedy and at least he hadn’t used the word ‘sometime’ as the timescale for being in touch.

  “Okay, speak to you tomorrow. Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  When I was sure he’d gone, I slipped my phone into my bag and made my way up the rest of the drive. As I was about to put my key into the lock, Toby appeared at my side with a huge tub of popcorn, the contents of which was being shovelled into his mouth.

  “You just getting home from last night too?” I asked and looked at him over my shoulder as I opened the door.

  “No, cinema.” As his mouth was full of food a piece of popcorn hit my cheek.

  “Ugh, you’re so gross.” I wiped a hand along my face and walked into the hall. “What did you go and see?”

  I hung my jacket and bag over the bannister to take upstairs later and waited for Toby to finish off another mouthful of popcorn.

  “Nothing,” he finally said. “I only went to buy the popcorn. It’s so much nicer than that bagged shit you get at the supermarket.”

  “You mean you walked all the way to the cinema only to buy popcorn?”

  I knew he’d had to have walked because Mum and Dad’s cars were on the drive. Declan’s wasn’t and neither was Toby and Ruben’s shared car, and I didn’t have one, preferring to save my money and borrow Mum’s instead.

  “No, don’t be stupid, I got a taxi,” he replied and looked at me as if I was the idiot.

  I thought about saying something, but decided against it, it was Toby after all and why should I be surprised about anything that he did.

  “Where’ve you been anyway?” he asked as he pushed past me where I lingered by the mirror assessing my dishevelled appearance. “Or do I need to ask? Been with Charlie, have you?”

  The way he said Charlie’s name, like an eight-year-old child would, made me smile.

  “Maybe.”

  “Ooh it’s getting serious if you’re already having sleep overs.” Toby winked at me and then shoved more popcorn into his mouth.

  I simply smiled, not sure if we were getting serious but I also didn’t want to say, ‘it wasn’t what it seemed like’, because neither Charlie nor I seemed to mind that it was exactly what it seemed like.

  “Who’s home anyway?” I asked as I grabbed a hairband from my wrist and swept my hair into a messy bun.

  “Only Ivan the Fucking Terrible and Maureen,” Toby replied as he offered me the tub of popcorn.

  I took a handful. “Where’s Ruben?” I asked as I thought again about what I’d seen in the bar.

  “He went out about ten this morning, said he was going to meet some mates for a game of snooker or something.”

  “At ten on a Sunday morning?”

  I started to eat the popcorn as worry for my youngest brother reared its head again. Snooker halls weren’t open that early, surely.

  Toby shrugged and started to walk toward the lounge door, and I wondered whether I should go against Charlie’s advice and tell my parents my worries about Ruben; my head was totally messed up about the situation. Deciding not to make any hasty decisions, I followed Toby and as he pushed open the door, I found myself covered in popcorn as he threw it into the air with a loud scream.

  “What the hell-”

  “No,” he cried. “That’s disgusting.”

  I looked over his shoulder to get a great view of Ivan the Fucking Terrible’s bare arse and Maureen’s legs, adorned in a pair of pop socks, wrapped around him.

  My parents were having sex.

  Ugh.

  My. Parents. Were. Having. Sex.

  On the family sofa at lunchtime, on a Sunday.

  “Oh my God, that’s just…” I made a gagging sound and promptly turned around, only to be pushed to one side by Toby.

  “Let me get past,” he cried. “I need to go and bleach my eyes.”

  “Oh, don’t be so ridiculous,” I heard my dad say behind me. “It’s perfectly natural.”

  “Not on the bloody sofa in the middle of the afternoon, when any of your five children could walk in,” I practically screamed, as I pulled popcorn from my bun.

  “We got carried away, didn’t we Ivan? We thought Toby would be a while and assumed you wouldn’t be back until later, as you were with your boyfriend.”

  “Yeah, you know what assumed did, don’t you Mother? It makes an ass out of you and me, and that’s one bloody ass I didn’t want to see.”

  “Willow, make it stop,” Toby cried as he came out of the kitchen with a wet paper towel over his eyes.

  “Oh, stop being so stupid,” Dad said, right next to my shoulder.

  I closed my eyes and shuddered. “Please tell me you have clothes on, and you are not standing behind me naked.”

  “Of course, I have clothes on, we were only having a quickie.”

  I then heard his zip go up and shuddered again.

  “You and your boyfriend must have quickies, surely.”

  My sexually frustrated self couldn’t take much more and I seriously wished I had a time machine and I could go back to being snuggled up with Charlie in his bed.

  “No, we bloody don’t and he’s not my bloody boyfriend.”

  “Willow, help me,” Toby cried, melodramatically sliding down the wall with his paper towel still over his eyes.

  “Oh, for God’s sake, stop being so pathetic,” I hissed, accidently on purpose kicking his leg as I stepped over him. “I’m going to my room, call me when lunch is ready.”

  “Will do love,” Mum called, as though we hadn’t just found her on her back with her legs in the air and Dad nestled between them. “It’s pork today.”

  “Argh.” I screamed as I flounced up the stairs, my bag and jacket dragged behind me. “I bloody hate this family.”

  The beauty of the clitoris is that it doesn’t need to have any rest and relaxation after climaxing. As long as it gets stimulation, you’ll keep on coming. Apparently one woman who took part in a study had a staggering 134 climaxes in a row – how the hell did she have time to do the ironing?

  * * *

  Willow

  At Mum’s request, we were all around the lunch table, despite the fact that two of her children were traumatised, and I had no idea where to look. If I looked at her, I could see her legs wrapped around Ivan the Fucking Terrible’s back and if I looked at him, well, all I could see was his bloody arse pumping away. There were definite drawbacks to having parents who worked in ‘sex’.

  The other problem I had was, Ruben. He’d arrived back in time for lunch looking…happy. Something I hadn’t seen him look for a long time; so, he had to be high. He sat opposite me at the table, which made it easy for me to check him out, or it would have been had he not had his head down, shovelling Mum’s pork roast into his gob. When he finally took a breather, I leaned across the table to check out his eyes, I wanted to see if his pupils were bigger than they should have been – or was that smaller? I had no clue, but I’d know if he was on drugs, I’d see it in his eyes somehow.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Ruben asked, as he pushed a hand against my forehead.

  I quickly sat back and gasped; I hadn’t realised how close I’d evidently got to check him out.

  “I’m…well, I’m…checking you’ve eaten all your sprouts,” I replied, like it was the big
fat lie that it actually was.

  He pulled his brows together and looked down at his plate which was almost empty bar a roast potato that I knew he was saving until last.

  “What does it look like, or were you trying to see if they were actually in my mouth? Weirdo.”

  “Stop bickering you two,” Dad grumbled as he tried to chew on a piece of crackling. “It’s Sunday, the day of peace and tranquillity.”

  “And shagging apparently,” Toby offered.

  “Ugh, do you have to,” I groaned. “It hadn’t crossed my mind for at least five minutes, now you’ve brought it all back again.”

  “What are you talking about?” Declan asked, as he sat back in his chair and rubbed his stomach.

  “We caught Maureen and Ivan doing the nasty,” Toby explained. “It burned my eyes, Dec. I’m not sure I’ll ever be the same again.”

  “Nor me,” I said and held up my hand.

  “Oh, stop being so dramatic. How do you think your dad and I managed to have five children?”

  “Ugh. Yuck,” Ruben said, as he pushed his unfinished spud away.

  “There’s nothing wrong with two people having sex. It’s the most natural thing in the world and because your mum and I are over fifty it doesn’t mean we can’t experience a happy and fulfilling sex life. Studies say-.”

  “No,” I cried. “Please don’t talk shop, and let’s change the subject.”

  The last thing I needed was to hear about how studies showed couples who had a lot of good sex were the ones who were happiest and had the longest lasting relationships, especially as I wasn’t getting any with my hot new…whatever he was.

  “Personally, I think the fact our parents are still having sex is pretty awesome.” Declan smiled at them both as Ruben, Toby, and I all made gagging sounds.

  “What are you after?” Toby asked. “Want letting off with your rent this week or do you need to borrow Dad’s car ‘cause there’s something wrong with yours? Come on what is it?”