* * *
“Oh my God,” Willow cried as she wiped the tears at her eyes. “I thought she was going to knife me when I asked for diet coke.”
We were at dinner and laughing about our run in with Bev the Barmaid earlier and how we’d never been so scared to ask for a drink before. As we thought, we’d only had one drink, but by the time we’d finished our first one the room was ready and Geoff told us we had thirty minutes until dinner was served. That put paid to my idea of me giving Willow a much-deserved orgasm, considering we’d been advised we had to be prompt as Chef liked to serve everyone early and at the same time because he liked to leave for home before it got too dark. It was at that point I realised why the price for such a beautiful hotel had been very reasonable – it was shit. I had apologised profusely to Willow the whole time we freshened up, but she’d waved my worries away, as she convinced me it all added to it and Bev had been hilarious so an early dinner meant we could spend more time in the bar with her. It meant more time to ensure that I gave her a good time in the bedroom, which had to be said was gorgeous and luxurious. Thick, plush curtains at the windows, a huge comfy bed that was so soft you were almost enveloped by it, and the best hotel bathroom I’d ever seen with a large, claw foot tub by the window that overlooked the fields which surrounded the hotel and a double headed shower big enough for both of us; something I planned on taking advantage of later.
To be fair, the food had been delicious so far, both of us had crab cakes to start and opted for lamb in a red wine juice for our main course. It was actually called a jus on the menu, but to me it was fucking juice or gravy – who thought these twatty names up anyway?
“Apart from Brutal Bev, are you enjoying yourself?” I asked.
“I really am,” she replied as her eyes softened when she looked at me over the top of the candle. “Thank you so much, Charlie.”
“Told you, it’s my pleasure.” I cleared my throat and put down my cutlery. “I am sorry I was such a dick the other day, Will. I just…”
“It’s forgotten about.” She leaned across the table and took my hand in hers. “I’m sorry too that my dad felt the need to interfere.”
I shook my head. “He wasn’t interfering, he was simply doing his job.”
Willow rolled her eyes. “Whatever, I really don’t want him to ‘do his job’, with us ever again.” She gasped and her mouth dropped into a perfect ‘O’. “Not that he’ll need to, it was a one off, I know it was.”
I laughed quietly. “I think we need to forget about the other night, start afresh and both of us stop worrying about what might happen.”
“You’re worried?” Willow frowned and shifted forward in her seat.
“A little bit,” I admitted.
“Well don’t.” Her mouth drew into a thin line of consternation. “Now, let’s enjoy our dinner and think about what exotic cocktails we can ask Bev to make later.”
As I watched her continue to eat and give little moans of appreciation, I felt my heart stutter and my stomach do a somersault. She was so fucking beautiful and if I didn’t cock things up, I knew we could have something great long-term. I wanted something that would last with her because she was everything that I’d ever imagined my ideal woman to be. The feelings I had for her had come hard and fast; more each day. It was becoming more and more difficult to imagine a life without her in it.
“Will,” I whispered to gain her attention.
“Hmm,” she replied and glanced up at me with a mouthful of food.
“I want you to know how much I like you. You make me so damn happy and I can’t believe that I actually met someone like you, someone who makes me smile every day. I don’t think I ever believed in fate before, but how can I not when an unplanned night out gave me you.”
Willow’s eyes shone; her features soft as she gazed at me. She was silent for the longest time and I was beginning to wonder whether I’d said the wrong thing, whether it was too much too soon, even though there was so much more I could have said.
“If I’ve said the wrong thing-.”
“No, you haven’t,” she breathed out. “And I think I’ve eaten enough. I’m ready for bed now.”
She pushed her plate away, threw down her napkin and pushed her chair back. “You ready?”
I nodded and as the adrenalin started to pump through my veins, I swallowed the last of my wine and followed her out of the restaurant
It might not sound romantic, but plan for sex. It can be a useful tip if you’re always busy and builds up the anticipation knowing what is to come – perhaps you shouldn’t put it in your work diary though, we all have one of those nosey colleagues who likes to check what you’re doing at the weekend.
* * *
Willow
As I left the dining room in a rush, I could feel the heat from Charlie at my back. His hand lay lightly on my bum as he gently guided me through the tables.
“Was your dinner okay, sir, madam?” The head waiter hovered by the doorway, craning to look at our table where our unfinished meals were.
“It was lovely,” Charlie replied. “Willow has a headache coming on.”
“I bloody hope not,” I muttered and felt a nudge in the back from Charlie.
“Oh no, if there is anything at all we can get you, I can send it up to the room.”
“No, it’s fine, I think I can sort her out.”
I bit down on my bottom lip to stop me laughing out loud and tried to morph my face into one that looked as if I might have a headache.
“Well, I hope you feel better in the morning.”
“Oh, she will,” Charlie promised, and I totally believed him.
This was going to be it, this was going to be the best sex of my life, I knew it. Charlie was going to show me what a stud he actually was by giving me numerous orgasms, all of which would actually shake the bones in my body.
As we reached the lifts, Charlie pulled me into his arms and began kissing me. One of his arms held me close to his body, while the other reached out to punch at the button to call the lift.
“I’m going to make this so fucking good for you,” he said against my mouth. “You’re going to come screaming my name and the whole of this damn hotel is going to know that you belong to me.”
OH. MY. GOD.
I think I came there and then.
Charlie’s kiss deepened as his hand slipped to my bum and gave it the most wonderful squeeze that sent an electric shock from my buttock straight to my vajajay.
At the point where I considered climbing him, the lift arrived, and we pulled apart to see two older ladies get out. They looked Charlie over appreciatively and then both gave me a huge smile. I couldn’t help but grin back, give them a thumbs up and mouth silently, ‘I know’. As he chuckled himself, Charlie pulled me into the lift and immediately pushed me against the wall where he continued his onslaught of my mouth.
The way he kissed slowly up my neck and along my jawline told me that tonight he was definitely going to take his time with me and deliver everything that his touch and kisses promised. Thankfully, even though we were on the top floor, it was only three flights up, so pretty quickly the lift juddered to a halt and the door slid open.
“I can’t wait to get you into that bed,” he groaned as he gave me a quick kiss to the lips before we walked out of the lift. “I’m going to fucking worship you, exactly how you should be worshiped; very slowly and for a very long time.”
I let out a little moan and started to drag him down the corridor toward our room. Charlie already had the keycard in his hand and was about to flash it when his phone started to shrill in his pocket. It wasn’t his usual ring tone, but something that sounded like a brass band playing.
He paused, his hand midair and I could see he was holding his breath. It stopped ringing and I thought he’d let out a sigh of relief, but he didn’t, he stayed stock still, waiting. Right on cue it rang again and stopped and then started again. On the third ring, Charlie cursed and pulled it from his
pocket.
“Yeah, it’s Charlie…fuck…when…okay, thanks Vera…where is he…okay, I’ll go straight there…thanks again.”
He stabbed at his phone to end the call and banged his forehead against it three times, each one followed by a ‘fuck’.
“Charlie, what’s wrong? Who was that?”
He let out a deep sigh and turned to me, disappointment, regret, and anger all painted across his beautiful features. He lifted a hand and cupped my cheek before he let it snake around to the back of my head and laced his fingers in my hair.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” he groaned as he pulled me into his chest. “We have to go home.”
I pulled back to look up at him as fear made my stomach roll over. “Why, what’s happened?”
“That was our neighbour, Vera. She knows to call me if there are any problems and I know it’s urgent if she calls three times, it’s something we came up with so that Johnny doesn’t feel as though he’s being checked up on.”
Shit, that explained why he waited.
“So, what is it?” I reached up and held his face in both my hands to force his gaze on me. “It’s okay, we’ll sort it, what’s happened?”
“Johnny, he wanted to give Teresa a fucking chance and I told him she’d cock up, but he wouldn’t have it, he said she’d be fine. I fucking hate her, Will. She ruins everything and now she’s put him in danger again, isn’t it enough he’s fucking crippled because of her?”
His chest heaved with the exertion of his emotion and his eyes were dark and angry as his hold on me tightened.
“Oh my God, what is it, what’s she done?”
“She fell asleep with a lit cigarette dangling from her fingers and set fire to her coat which was on the floor, it caught the armchair she was in.”
I felt the colour drain from my face as I pulled the key from Charlie’s hand. “Is she okay?” I asked as I let us into the room.
“Don’t care.” Charlie’s tone was harsh and when he moved alongside me and picked his bag up, I could see how his complexion had turned red with rage. He slammed his bag onto the bed and then moved toward the wardrobe where we’d hung the few clothes, we’d brought with us. “She can be a shrivelled up piece of charcoaled flesh for all I care.”
“Charlie!”
“No Will, she promised she would take care of him. One fucking night was all I asked for.”
“And Johnny, he’s okay?”
Charlie sighed and I heard a thump so turned around from packing everything from the dressing table to see him resting his head on the mahogany door of the wardrobe.
“Charlie, he is okay, isn’t he?”
“Yeah, he’s fine. He put the fire out with the extinguisher we have in the hall, but because of him being disabled our fire alarm is rigged up to the fire station, so they ended up coming out, which is how Vera found out. Apparently, the fire brigade doesn’t think he should be sleeping there with the stench of smoke, but he’s insisted. He told Vera not to call me but as Teresa decided she did want an overnight stay in hospital, he’s on his own and Vera doesn’t think he should stay there with the smell either.”
“So, he doesn’t know we’re going back?” I asked as I moved to him and placed a hand on his back.
Charlie looked over his shoulder at me and gave me a sad smile. “Nope, but I can’t leave him, Willow.”
“God no, and I wouldn’t expect you to. We’ll go back and get you both sorted. You can stay at ours if you like. Mum can make a bed up for Johnny in the den.”
Charlie didn’t answer but nodded and went back to taking his clothes from their hangers.
* * *
We had been in the Vauxhall Combo for almost twenty minutes and Charlie hadn’t said a word. In fact, the only thing he had said since we’d left our room was a quick thank you to Brian who took our bags out to the car. The atmosphere was cold and icy, not something I was used to with him. I got that he was angry with Teresa, but it wasn’t doing him any good building up such vitriolic hatred inside him. It wasn’t that I hadn’t tried to make conversation, I had, but had received one word answers each time.
“Can I put some music on?” I asked because I hated the silence more and more with each minute that passed.
“Yeah, sure.” He nodded toward his phone on the centre console and then pressed the media button on the audio system.
As I picked up his phone, I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, but his jaw was still rigid, and his knuckles were still white from gripping the steering wheel. I decided not to attempt any further conversation and went to his music app and scrolled through. When I came across a playlist called ‘Willow’, I couldn’t help but smile. I turned the screen toward him and was about to make a comment about it, but he let out a long sigh and then blasted his horn at a car which had pulled in front of us.
Instead, my eyes went back to his phone and I opened up the playlist to see what was on it and I wanted to kiss him when I saw that it was all seventies music; cheesy seventies music at that. They weren’t all from the same year either, or the same album, so the fact that he’d taken the time to find the songs and put them all together, for me, gave me huge butterflies in my stomach.
Once I pressed the buttons, I sat back and waited for the first song to sound out and hoped that when he realised what I’d picked to play, Charlie would realise how much I appreciated it and him.
When Andrew Gold’s ‘Never Let Her Slip Away’ started, I couldn’t help but hope that each song, although cheesy, actually meant something to him. That they somehow reminded him of me.
I sang along to each song and did it at the top of my voice. Not in an attempt to get a response from him, but because each song he’d picked brought me joy and was one of my favourites. At one point I caught Charlie watching me, but he didn’t laugh or smile. He wasn’t angry either, he simply looked sad.
As we drove into Rickeby, I realised that we were going to my house, yet I knew Charlie was desperate to get home to Johnny.
“Are we not going to yours first?” I asked as I did a half-turn in my seat.
“No, I’m taking you home.”
“But I thought you and Johnny were going to stay, are you going to get him after you’ve dropped me off, because you don’t have to.”
He didn’t speak but drew in a deep breath and suddenly I felt sick, because he was getting prepared to say something. He was going to tell me something that I wouldn’t like. I knew it deep in my bones, every nerve in my body knew it and more importantly my heart knew it.
My pulse sped up and my hands began to shake as the car rolled up to the pavement outside my parents’ house and Charlie turned off the ignition.
“Don’t say it, Charlie,” I whispered, not sure whether it was to myself or to him.
“Will,” he whispered and my name almost sounded like a plea.
“No,” I said as I shook my head. “You’re not saying it. I’m getting out of the car; you’re going to go home, get Johnny and come back here, where my mum will treat you like a pair of her long-lost sons. That’s what’s going to happen.”
I unbuckled my seatbelt and moved to open the door.
“This isn’t fair on you.” He reached for me and grabbed my hand.
“I tell you what wouldn’t be fair on me, Charlie, is if you finished this because you have some stupid idea that I’m pissed off that we’ve had to come home, or that you have to put your brother first, because neither of those things are true. And, if you actually think they are, then you have a really low opinion of me.”
“I don’t think those things, which is why we have to stop seeing each other. You’re so great about all my fucking shit and it’s not going to get any easier, and I can’t do that to you.”
As I watched his lips move, my hands started to shake, and my stomach twisted as I felt nausea rise with each of his words.
“I like you too much Willow to have half a fucking relationship with you because I have a drunk as a mother and a brother
who needs me.”
“It wouldn’t be half a relationship, because I’d support you every step of the way. What we have is great and I know it’s going to keep getting better and better, and I don’t care if you can’t always give me one hundred percent, because I like you a lot, so much, that would be enough for me.”
Charlie shook his head and kissed the back of my hand. “No Willow, that would never be good enough for you, not as far as I’m concerned. You deserve to be given everything, the whole fucking world and I can’t give that to you. I hate it and hate myself a little bit more each time I have to let you down.”
“It’s been a couple of times,” I scoffed. “Hardly major is it.”
“A couple of times and we’re only just starting out, what happens when it’s a couple of times a week and we’re six months down the line and you hate me for it too. I can’t-.”
“I won’t, I would never hate you for taking care of your brother.”
Charlie’s face looked pained as he placed my hand back on my knee, pulled his away, and sat back in his seat.
“You would,” he said quietly. “And I don’t think I’d be able to take that, it’s bad enough having to end this now, so one, two, six more months, it’d be hell.”
“Charlie, please don’t,” I begged and tugged at the tight bun in my hair, pulling some of it loose. “Sleep on it and if you feel the same tomorrow…”
I knew I sounded pathetic as I pleaded like an idiot, but I also knew deep within me and deep within him, he didn’t really want to do this. Everything had been perfect at the hotel until his neighbour had called. He kissed me so deeply I could feel it in my soul, he’d told me that he was going to worship me slowly. There was no way that this had been his plan.
“Nothing will change, Will. I’m sorry, but I want you to be happy and being with me and dealing with my baggage won’t let that happen.”
I really didn’t want to cry, I tried so hard to suck the tears back in, but when I felt them slowly creeping down my cheeks there wasn’t a damn thing that I could do about it.
The Big Ohhh Page 25