The Big Ohhh

by Ashton, Nikki

  As for Toby, well he was still chasing Polly, who actually seemed to be thawing to him a little bit – she did agree to play spin the bottle with him at our housewarming party and it did end with a long kiss that blew her away. She’d totally stopped talking about Declan and often asked after Toby nowadays so who knew what would happen.

  Declan was still dating Barbie dolls and Danny was still loved up with Patsy and planning a wedding, so all in all nothing had changed with the Dixon family. Ivan was still fucking terrible and Maureen was still a pain in all of our arses, but we bloody loved them.

  Charlie and I, well, we were happy. Generally, anyway, today though was not a day I was full of joy. In fact, if I could I’d chop his bloody big beautiful dick off, whether it gave me some incredible orgasms or not. It was because of that dick and those orgasms that I was in the position that I was in i.e. flat on my back with my bloody legs in the air with a grey-haired man between them staring at my damn vajajay.

  “I think one more push, Willow, and baby will be here.”

  “Oh my God,” I gasped. “I can’t, I’m so tired and it hurts so much.”

  “Hey baby,” Charlie cooed. “You can do this; you’ve done really well so far.” He wiped my brow with a wet flannel and then kissed it.

  “Really well?” I grimaced. “I’ve been a damn rock star.”

  He laughed and then must have seen my face because he straightened his mouth into a thin line.

  “Yeah, of course you have. You’ve been brilliant.”

  “I should bloody think soooohhhh.”

  “Okay,” Graham, the midwife, said a little too brightly for my liking. “Here we go, hold on tight.”

  “Does he have to sound like we’re about to have a ride on the waltzers?” My teeth gritted together as I bared down and pushed with all the energy I had left.

  Charlie lowered his head to my ear. “I fucking love you, you know that?”

  I nodded, unable to speak and push at the same time, but gripped his hand extra hard just to put my point across, which was ‘don’t ever come near me with that big beautiful dick ever again!’

  When I thought I had nothing left in me, I felt the pressure ease and heard Graham whoop and a shrill new-born cry.

  “We have a beautiful boy.” Graham lifted the most gorgeous child I’d ever seen.

  “He’s beautiful,” Charlie gasped and leaned down to kiss my temple. “I’m so proud of you.”

  I drew in a ragged breath, as I looked up at the man who I loved more and more each day and thanked him for the beautiful son that he’d given to me.

  “Hey little man, you want to go to Mummy?” Graham asked my crying baby. He then turned to me. “You want to undo your nightgown, my love.”

  I unbuttoned it and pulled it open, more than ready for the skin on skin with my son.

  As soon as Graham placed him on my chest, I burst into tears, the emotion too much to keep in. “Oh my God,” I said. “He’s gorgeous. He looks like you, he’s got your dimples.”

  Mesmerised, Charlie gazed at us both as he reverently stroked a hand down the baby’s back.

  “You have a name?” Graham asked as he continued to check over the baby against my chest.

  “Dylan Charles,” I whispered, not taking my eyes from Dylan.

  “Nice name. Now, we need to cut that cord, you want to do it Charlie?”

  Charlie nodded and listened carefully to Graham’s instructions before finally cutting the cord.

  “He’s all yours now.” Graham smiled down at us, looking so proud as if he’d done all the hard work. “I’ll be back in a couple of minutes, and Kaye and I will give him a thorough check over.” He looked over to the other midwife who’d been assisting him.

  “He’s a beauty,” she said as she wrote on my chart.

  “He’s okay though?” I asked as worry enveloped me.

  “He seems perfectly fine. We need to check him out that’s all.”

  “You were amazing,” Charlie said and kissed me once more. “He’s amazing.”

  “Yeah, I know.” I looked up at him and smiled. “I love you.”

  “I love you more,” he sighed. “And I swear I’ll be the best father I can be.”

  “I know, because you’re the best man that I’ve ever known.”

  * * *

  Charlie

  “Okay,” Ivan said as he stripped off his ratty old rugby shirt. “Let me have him.”

  “Dad, what are you doing?” Willow cried.

  We’d had an hour of peace and tranquillity gazing down at the gorgeous baby that we’d created and now it was time to share him. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to let him out of my sight, the first hour of fatherhood had been something beyond anything I’d ever felt before – I felt as though my heart was going to explode with the amount of love I had for one little person who I’d only known a short time. I felt euphoric as I looked up and grinned at everyone as they trooped into Willow’s room, while I had my beautiful boy cradled against my chest.

  Alongside Ivan and Maureen were all four of Willow’s brothers, closely followed by Johnny and Kristy – thankfully Teresa hadn’t heard the news and turned up, but I didn’t really expect her to. After we threw her out, she came around a couple of times, but each time we stood firm and told her that unless she sobered up, Johnny and I weren’t interested in a relationship with her. Needless to say, she hadn’t sobered up, so was currently living with her latest boyfriend, or so we’d heard.

  “I want to do the skin on skin thing.” Ivan stopped in front of me and held out his hands. “Come on Charlie, give.”

  “You ready for this, Dylan?” I whispered against his blond head.

  “Ivan, put your top back on,” Maureen hissed and sneaked into my left to take the baby from my outstretched arms. “If he snuggles into that chest hair he’ll be lost for days.”

  “I want to bond with my grandson,” he replied with a pout.

  “Well you’ll have to wait because Nanna has him first, doesn’t she, yes she does.” As Maureen spoke baby talk to Dylan, he looked up at her with dark blue eyes and lifted his top lip.

  “And before you say anything, that’s wind,” Ivan scoffed and moved to stand next to Maureen and coo over their grandson.

  “How was it?” Ruben asked me. “Gory as all fuck?”

  “He stayed at the top end,” Willow said as she shifted up the bed to make room for Declan and Danny to sit next to her feet.

  “Ugh, should think so.” Ruben shoved a bunch of flowers at her. “Got you these and don’t let those fuckers make out they contributed, because they didn’t.”

  “Rube, they’re lovely. Thank you.” Willow took the flowers and immediately burst into tears.

  “Oh shit,” Ruben muttered as he looked at me. “They’re only a bunch of flowers.”

  “It’s okay mate,” I whispered. “It’s her hormones.”

  Ruben nodded and went to join his parents to leave space for Johnny to wheel over to me.

  “Congratulations big brother. He’s fucking amaz-.”

  “Hey,” Declan called. “No swearing, we agreed.”

  “But Ruben called you a bunch of fu-.” He stopped when Kristy poked him in the shoulder. “Okay, okay, but he is an awesome little dude.”

  Johnny grinned and leaned forward to give me a tight hug.

  “Thanks, Johnny. I fucking love him so much already.”

  “Charlie!” Now it was my turn to be poked, this time by Willow.

  “I got you these by the way,” Toby said and offered Willow a box of chocolates. “Sorry I ate most of them while we were waiting. You didn’t half take a long time.”

  “Yeah, well sorry,” Willow replied, as she peered into the box and pulled out a chocolate, “it was kind of hard work you know, pushing a cantaloupe melon out of my vagina.”

  Ruben grimaced. “Shit. Too much information, Willow.”

  “Did you eat the placenta?” Danny asked.

  “No, I did not! God, that�
��s disgusting.”

  “A lot of people do. If we have kids, I might ask Patsy to bring hers home.”

  “What, like in a takeaway bag?” Johnny asked.

  “You could always get it delivered with four poppadum and a free bottle of coke.”

  “Toby, shut up and carry on eating your body weight in chocolate.” Danny turned back to Willow. “Honestly, it’s got some seriously good vitamins in it, isn’t that right Kristy?”

  Kristy shrugged. “I have no idea, I’m a carer not a medical nurse.”

  “Really?” Toby said as he tilted his head to one side to study her. “I always thought you wore one of those cute little nurse’s outfits while you gave Johnny a bed bath.”

  “She doesn’t give me a fu-flipping bed bath. She helps me get into the bath, but now you come to mention it, it is something we could try babe. Weirdly, we haven’t tried the nurse and patient role play yet.”

  Kristy coloured up and slapped a hand over my brother’s mouth. “No more. Keep it shut.”

  We all started to laugh as we realised that they’d both given away one of their sex secrets.

  “Anyway,” Declan said and rubbed Willow’s leg over the top of the blankets. “You’ve done a brilliant job little sister. He’s really handsome and definitely has the Dixon genes.”

  “What about his willy?” Ivan asked as he started to rummage around in the blanket that Dylan was wrapped in. “Is it little or does he take after the Dixon’s for that too.”

  Maureen slapped his hand away. “Leave his willy alone, Ivan.”

  “No, he doesn’t,” Willow stated and took hold of my hand and pulled it to her lap. “He takes after his daddy.”

  “Oh no,” Toby cried. “I always thought Charlie looked like a big dick kind of guy.”

  “He did get it caught in his zip once,” Maureen offered which made all the men in the room wince.

  “Ooh yeah, I remember,” Johnny said with a shiver. “But that does prove you’re pretty well-endowed, bro.”

  “He is.” Willow grinned. “Which is why Dylan’s extremely well blessed in that department too.”

  I rolled my eyes at her and grinned. “I fucking love you, so much,” I said and leaned in to kiss her.

  “Yeah and I love you too, so bloody much.”

  As both our crazy families continued to discuss the merits of our son and who he looked like, I watched the woman I loved and thanked every God out there for bringing her to me. There was no one in the world who could hold a candle to her and if I searched for a thousand years, I’d never find anyone more beautiful or funnier. She was everything I’d always wanted and together we would be the family I’d always wanted. Willow Dixon was astounding, and she was all mine.

  The End

  The Cheesiest Playlist Ever

  Oh, Pretty Woman - Roy Orbison

  Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I’m Yours) - Stevie Wonder

  You Can Get It If You Really Want - Jimmy Cliff

  Sylvia’s Mother - Dr Hook

  Crazy Horses - The Osmonds

  20th Century Boy - T Rex

  Saturday Night at the Movies - The Drifters

  I Only Have Eyes for You - Art Garfunkel

  Baby I’m-a Want You - Bread

  Good Time Charlie’s Got the Blues - Elvis Presley

  Grease - Frankie Valley

  I’m Every Woman - Chaka Khan

  Every 1’s A Winner - Hot Chocolate

  Never Let Her Slip Away - Andrew Gold

  Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen

  I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones

  If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body - The Bellamy Brothers

  Heart of Glass - Blondie

  Girls Talk - Dave Edmunds

  Lay Your Love on Me - Racey

  The Eton Rifles - The Jam

  Since You’ve Been Gone - Rainbow

  Tusk - Fleetwood Mac

  Reunited - Peaches & Herb

  A Horse with No Name - America

  Bye Bye Baby - Bay City Rollers

  Tie a Yellow Ribbon - Tony Orlando & Dawn

  Save All Your Kisses for Me - Brotherhood of Man

  I’m in The Mood for Dancing -The Nolans

  https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1oMA2MkTcWvyJQD0RJI7yM?si=nhzNsxLyTGqiLe_gSd-AwQ

  As usual there are many people, I need to thank for helping me with this book and for making it the best story it can be.

  Caroline Stainburn for your editing skills. Your attention to detail and ability to spot the words that I use far too much is incredible – I’d say it’s amazing, but that’s one of those words!

  Brooke Bowen Hebert once again for proof-reading for me, even though I sprung it on you last minute.

  Tammy Clarke, it’s another beautiful cover and a miracle that you understood my usual vague requirements.

  To the girls who attended the readers retreat, thanks to you for encouraging me to include Bev and Geoff in the book. Remember girls, next time be prepared to wait three hours for a drink.

  Jenn Thompson the dentistry advice and the story were a great help and I hope I didn’t get anything drastically wrong.

  To all my book family who share, blog, and review thank you, thank you, thank you. It’s hard sometimes to get your work out there, so everything you do is appreciated. Special thanks to Claire and Wendy of Bare Naked Words for everything you’ve done for me on this and other releases. You are awesome and the efforts you go to are immense.

  My lovely alpha and beta readers, Donna, Patsy, Laura, Cal and Karen much appreciation to all of you for stroking my ego and telling me how much you loved this book. You know how much I adore Charlie and Willow and you also know it would have upset me if you hadn’t, so even if you didn’t, thank you for telling me you did.

  Chloe Walsh, Victoria Johns and Anna Bloom I appreciate you taking time out of your own busy schedules to read The Big Ohhh and give me your feedback – every piece of advice was gladly received especially from such brilliant authors.

  As Willow’s love of cheesy 70’s music is inspired by my own, I feel I need to thank two people who without realising it helped to create this playlist. Helen and Julie, whether it was Abba, Brotherhood of Man or The Jam, it didn’t matter because we sang and danced without a care and had the best time ever – oh to be twelve years old again. Love you both more than you will ever know.

  Finally, thank you to those who created that music when I was in my formative years. You shaped my world, you guided me through good and bad times, and you prepared me for the 80’s. You still have the ability to make me laugh or cry today and I thank you for being with me while I write this book and for helping me to create Willow’s personality. It’s been a blast.