Regency Romance: The Earl’s Unexpected Journey Of Love (The Fairbanks Series - Love & Hearts) (Historical Romance Fiction)

by Jessie Bennett

  “Have you ever been in love with a woman, Joshua?”

  “No,” Joshua admitted. “I can sincerely say I do not know what the feeling is like.”

  Cain chuckled. “You do now, boy.”

  Joshua raised his eyebrows. “Truly? Could this be anything else?”

  “Well,” his uncle sighed. “The only other reason for feeling this strongly would be if you hated her. And I don't believe you do?”

  “Of course not!” Joshua snapped. “Sorry, Uncle,” he murmured, looking back down at the rippling pond. “I did not mean to speak so strongly. It is simply that I could not conceive of anyone hating her or harming her. I wish her to be safe always. I never wish to harm her in any way.”

  “Then you are in love.”

  Joshua’s eyes moved back to his Uncle’s face.

  Cain thought he looked fearful. “My boy, what are you afraid of?”

  “This is new to me,” Joshua explained. “I feel I am not worthy of her love. As though she cannot possibly be interested in me now that I am interested in her. I feel I will second guess every move I make and change my choices and decisions based on what she would like, would do or would you not do.”

  Cain ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Yes, that happens. We all change when we fall in love. You should not lose your confidence though, Joshua. You are fully capable of handling yourself in the proper manner. You are a distinguished gentleman bachelor of the ton and it’s about time your heart was taken off the market.”Cain chuckled, but noticed his nephew still looked anguished.

  “But how will I know if she loves me too? Will she tell me?” Joshua asked.

  “It’s unlikely that she will tell you right away,” Cain said, smiling. “That does not mean she never will. Some of the best couples I know had a good friendship before they married. Typically through correspondence. You can learn a great deal by reading someone's letters.”

  “You can tell more about someone when you watch them,” Joshua countered.

  “Certainly!” Cain agreed. “A person’s actions define their character. If you are looking, you should be able to see the signs that she cares for you.”

  “You should come with me, Uncle! You could surely see something better than I can.” Joshua's face brightened.

  Cain laughed, shaking his head at his impetuous nephew. “Don’t be daft, nephew,” he said fondly. “You will see it when you need to see it.”

  “I hope so,” his nephew replied in a small voice.

  “If your feelings are as strong as you make them sound, you will be watching instinctively anyway.”

  “Is it wrong for me to pray that it goes my way?” Joshua asked. Cain sighed and looked up at him. A soft breeze lifted the long hair on Joshua’s head, blowing it back away from his face. His face was shining in the moonlight and he looked like someone in a torment of the spirit.

  “It is never wrong to pray, my boy,” Cain affirmed, “never wrong. Just bear in mind that we can make all the plans we choose, but whatever happens depends on God’s will.”

  Joshua pressed his lips together before responding. “How can it be God’s will for a mother to die before she has a chance to raise her son? How can death be God’s will?”

  “It is not the parents or children who are being held accountable for their sins. That is the devil’s work,” Cain said heavily. “He will do everything he can to snatch God’s people away from the Almighty.”

  Joshua nodded. “That is true, Uncle.”

  “The Lord gave us free will, and the choices we make cause the destruction in our lives.”

  Joshua frowned. “That makes it sound as if Mother and Father deserved to die.”

  Cain shook his head. “That is not what I am saying at all. Your mother had very fragile health. Your father was killed by the mistakes and sins of others, not his own.”

  Joshua nodded, moving his eyes from the pond to the sky above, gazing at the brilliant stars sparkling there. They were silent for a while, lost in thought.

  “How do you think I should behave now that I’ve…fallen in love with her?” Joshua asked.

  Cain tried very hard not to laugh. He clutched his robe around his neck and looked down at the ground for a moment before saying anything. When he did speak, he looked directly at Joshua. “You need to maintain your calm and be who you truly are, Joshua. You need not worry about her liking you or loving you. Do not worry about anything. You should just be who you are and see what happens.”

  “What if she doesn’t like who I am?”

  This time Cain looked confused. “What if she doesn’t like you? Joshua, I have never heard you speak this way, even as a boy! You have always been confident in yourself. What has happened to that?”

  Joshua sat down, resting his arms on his knees. His uncle followed suit, sitting next to him. “I told you that I feel my confidence slipping.”

  Cain was quiet for a moment as he pondered his nephew’s confession. “I suppose it is common for anyone to become less confident when they feel deeply about someone. I can only tell you that you have to be just who you are. You are not a rude, arrogant young man. You have many good qualities, including your generous nature. Lady Juliette and her father are also generous and caring. You will have that in common.”

  “But what if-”

  “Shush,” Cain interrupted him gently. “Stop guessing what will happen ahead of time. You need only be strong, capable and confident. No harm will come to you, even if she does not love you back.”

  Joshua felt a sudden stab of pain at those words. “I hope she does, Uncle,” he whispered softly. “I hope she does.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  THE MEETING

  THE MEETING

  The next three weeks went by quickly. Before he knew it, Joshua was standing on the deck of the ship, watching it being loaded with supplies. He and his uncle had inspected the vessel to make sure it was trustworthy and solid. They had been on many boats and ships and knew well what to look for when it came to safety.

  “I shall talk to the captain, Joshua. It should not take long.”

  Joshua nodded without replying, his eyes on the dock, waiting for Juliette. Five minutes passed, a seeming eternity, before he saw her carriage approaching. There were two large wooden trunks loaded on the top of the carriage, secured by a tight rope.

  He inhaled sharply and clenched his jaw. He was anxious to see her. Just as he had predicted, they’d had very little to no contact throughout the three weeks of preparation. He had seen her only in passing and he found himself longing to see her, and, when he did not, wondering what she was doing, who she was with and if she was thinking about him.

  She stepped down from the carriage with the help of her driver, who then climbed up the side of the carriage and began tossing bags down to the attendant below. The attendant stacked the luggage behind him. Juliette looked up at him as soon as she was free from the carriage.

  He smiled at her, hoping that she would smile back.

  Juliette saw him standing on the deck of the ship, leaning against the railing, gazing down at her. She blinked a few times and bit her bottom lip. He looked handsome, his blond hair swept back from his face, an easy smile resting on his lips. When he smiled, she couldn’t help but smile back, though she was feeling cautious about the trip and her next encounter with the Earl. There was something about him that made her confused, and she was not certain that she liked that.

  She walked toward the ramp that would take her to the deck. As she reached the top of the ramp he came down quickly to help her, holding out his hand. She reached up and gripped it with her left hand, holding up her long skirts with her right.

  “Thank you, my lord,” she said quietly.

  “Do not mention it,” he said briefly, though his eyes looked a little wild, as if he were nervous.

  Juliette sighed and bit her lip. The earl did seem to behave peculiarly, and she wished she understood why. Nevertheless, she gave him a small smile and stood on the dec
k, sighing with appreciation as she breathed in the salt air and let her skirt drop from her right fist, billowing slightly in the wind. She was happy that she would be able to dress casually on the ship and in Africa. She had brought along three pairs of custom made dresses and had told her father she had to disregard what anyone thought; she was not traveling to fiery deserts wearing long gowns everywhere she went. She had her seamstress, much to the older woman’s chagrin, make her three good pairs.

  “How have you been today? Are you finding everything to your liking?” Juliette asked, turning to Joshua.

  Joshua nodded, grinning. “I am. I do hope that you will as well. Is there anything I can do to assure your comfort?”

  Juliette shook her head. “There is no need. My attendants will bring up our things.”

  Joshua lifted his eyebrows. “Our?” He glanced back down to the Ellingham carriage and noticed another young woman standing there with the luggage, overseeing its unloading from the roof.

  “Yes, my maidservant is coming with me.” Juliette smiled. “She is very excited to be going. She has never been out of the country. Never even left our family estate, as far as I know, except to accompany me to Fairbanks. She was delighted to be coming.”

  “What is her name?”

  “Betts,” Juliette said at once and then, when he looked mystified, she giggled. “Elizabeth, that is. Sorry. I have known her since I was a little girl and, well, she is like a sister.”

  Joshua smiled wryly. Juliette could tell he was trying not to laugh.

  She frowned. “Am I amusing to you, lord Hershey?”

  He lifted his eyebrows. “Is that a bad thing?”

  Juliette looked down. “I would hate it if you thought me peculiar.”

  Joshua shook his head vigorously. “No, no, my lady! I was not laughing at you.”

  Juliette felt a stab of annoyance, which surprised her. She hated the confusion this man sowed in her mind! She did not know how to understand him. She wished to see him, and yet sometimes she wished he would simply go away so she could think rationally.

  “I did not mean to offend you, my lady. I do apologize.” he was saying. Juliette nodded crisply and turned away. Her good mood dashed, she waved her hand at Betty, who was climbing the plank to the deck.

  “Come up and join us,” she said encouragingly, and then, when she noticed the woman was slightly green and walking slowly, her tone softened. “You are not afraid, are you?”

  She glanced at Joshua as she walked past towards the plank. He was red-faced and his eyes were pained. She wondered why, but then dismissed the thought as she reached out a hand to Betty.

  “I am sorry, milady,” Betty was saying. “I am not afraid of boats, Miss.”

  “I thought you had not traveled out of the country?” Juliette asked gently.

  “No, milady. But I took a short trip across the lake with my father and mother when I was a girl. It should count for something,” she added cheerfully, though she still looked a little green.

  Juliette nodded. “Good. It would be terrible if you felt ill.” She patted the woman's arm as she walked slowly past towards the cabins.

  Joshua listened to the exchange, wondering what he could do to make up for the perceived slight. He could not help thinking that Juliette was beautiful even if she was angry with him. It made him want to bend down and kiss her feet until she decided to forgive him.

  “I am glad you will have a companion on board, my lady,” he said, smiling winningly, hoping he would redeem himself somehow. “Please allow me to show you to your quarters.”

  “Thank you, my lord,” she said icily. “But I am certain Elizabeth is as reliable an escort.”

  Joshua was once again taken aback. He felt his stomach twist painfully and wished he could think of something – anything – to rectify the situation. “Yes, my lady. I am certain she is. Shall we follow her?”

  He held out his hand toward the right side of the ship, where the two double doors at the bottom of the wooden steps led to the cabins below deck. He walked beside her as she went down the steps, praying he would not step on her skirt. He stepped out ahead of her as they reached the cabins, eager to open her door for her.

  She glanced up at him as he passed her. Joshua saw only confusion in her eyes and wondered what she could possibly be thinking about him. Was it possible that over the last three weeks while they were apart preparing for their trip, she had not thought of him even once? The look on her face told him that if she had, it probably was not pleasant thoughts.

  He felt a pain in his heart and swallowed hard. This is so confusing! If she had disliked him so, she would have requested that her father choose someone else. If she had chosen him out of the many possibilities for an escort, she could not have hated him, could she?

  He opened the door to Juliette’s cabin and held it open for her.

  “Thank you, my lord,” she said politely.

  “My pleasure, my lady. Please do not hesitate to call on me if you need anything.”

  “If you insist,” she replied. As he retreated down the corridor, Juliette sighed and leaned against her own door, closing her eyes.

  Betty appeared in the corridor, eyes round and confused. “My lady, whatever is the matter? And are you angry with Lord Hershey? What has he done?”

  Juliette gave her a sidelong look, feeling slightly irritated. How did Betts know how she felt? She felt slightly embarrassed for making such an obvious fuss, but could not help it. She walked directly to the small porthole window and looked out through it pensively. They faced the dock, and half of her hoped Lord Hershey would walk past, while the other half wished she would never see him again. Why am I so confused? She almost wanted to cry.

  Betts was standing behind her, and her voice was kindly. “If you are angry with Lord Hershey, why are you watching for him?”

  “I was not watching him!” Juliette said quickly, cheeks flaming. “Very well, I was. What of it? I only wished to ensure he does not return ashore and leave me to make my way alone.”

  Betts’s drew in a breath, making Juliette turn to look at her. “My lady! What has given you the impression that he is not trustworthy?”

  Juliette sighed. She was annoyed with Joshua for laughing at her, and even more, she was annoyed with herself for being pouty about it. Perhaps she was seeing it from a selfish and silly point of view. She wished she could ask someone. Betts was like a sister, and she decided to risk asking her. She had raised the topic, so perhaps she would help.

  “Does he think I am silly? ” she asked, feeling her cheeks redden. “He laughed at me, as if I were some curiosity from some outlandish place.”

  “When did he laugh at you, my lady?” Betts was frowning, as if she could not believe it.

  “When I came aboard. He asked me what your name was, and I said Betts.” she looked down, biting her lip. She felt so stupid, and if Betts also thought she was, then she would die of misery.

  “I don’t think he was laughing at you, my lady,” Betts shook her head. She paused, pressing her lips together before continuing. “You may be taking this just a little too much to heart.”

  Juliette stared at her maidservant a moment. “You are the only one who can get away with saying such things to me, Betts,” she said in a low voice. She smiled up at the familiar strong-boned face, glad that she had the woman to accompany her.

  Betts shook her head. “I do not mean any disrespect, my lady, but it seems it must be so. I do not believe Lord Hershey is the kind of man to laugh at a lady like yourself. He is a good man. Strong, trustworthy, generous, and kind. I have heard many things about him, especially during the last three weeks.”

  “Have you?” Juliette stared at her. She felt her heart pound. Betts could be a vital source of information on Lord Hershey. And she wished to know everything.

  “Yes, miss. He is well-known among the servants. He is always kind, as though he does not notice our station in life. He treats us with care and generosity.”

>   “Have you ever had dealings with him?” Juliette was curious. She had not seen Joshua with any servants, except when they had dinner, and had not noted his responses then. Because they are just like my own, she noticed, wonderingly.

  “I will reconsider then,” Juliette said, finally spotting Joshua down on the dock, jogging toward the gangplank. He looked slightly funny in his dashing suit and buckled shoes, jogging along the dock.

  She inhaled deeply and sighed. She would give the man another chance. She would be with him for some months to come, and might as well tolerate him, and use the time to learn more about who he was. She had to try.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  UNCLE CAIN

  UNCLE CAIN

  Juliette was still in her cabin when Joshua tapped on the door. The attendants had piled most of the bags on deck, planning to bring them all down to the lady at one time. He followed the two men as they hefted large bags onto their shoulders, two of them carrying the vast trunk between them.

  “Why do women have to pack so much?” one of the men said. “I could make this trip with very little.”

  “Their dresses are bigger, you fool,” laughed the other man. “They got lots more to wear than we do. You know that.”

  “Yes. They got the dresses, the petticoats, the underthings, the shoes, stockings, and all of that. We don’t got nearly as much to carry.”

  The other man agreed.

  Joshua said nothing, aware that doing so would bring their attention to the fact that they were speaking so casually about the lady in front of an Earl. Nevertheless, he didn’t see the conversation as disrespectful. It was more humorous than insolent.

  “Never had no woman to travel with,” the first man continued. “But I did visit my Granny and Grandpapa when I was young, and had to travel with me ma. I don't recall her having much baggage. Me Ma was the kind to put on rouge, mind, but she had nothing much else different to me Da!” he chuckled.