Rogue Highlander: Played Like a Fiddle

by Sondra Grey

  But I didn’t get out. Hope bubbled up inside me, followed quickly by a dull, tidal pain. He was back. But we’d already said our farewells. He wasn’t back for me.

  Glenna was making a fuss over his return, and I could hear the excitement in Robin and Ned’s voices as they spoke to him. When I was sure I was composed, that I wasn’t going to make a fool out of myself, I climbed out of the wagon. Brandon didn’t even notice me doing it. I moved to stand beside Thamas, who gave me an uncharacteristic pat on my arm.

  “Where are you headed?” asked Brandon. He looked a bit wild. His dark hair had grown longer in the month since we’d all last seen him and his eyes were bright.

  “To Cawdor,” said Ned and when Brandon hesitated, Ned pressed. “Are you not coming with us then?”

  Brandon shook his head. “Have you ever been to Balrig?” he asked. “It’s south. Near Carn Eig. It’s a MacDonald holding about a week’s ride from here.”

  “Never,” said Ned. “When we’re there, we go to Skye. To Dunvegan or down to Mull to play for the Macleans.”

  “I have it on good authority that there’s good money to be made there,” said Brandon. “If you’ve not played there and you’re heading south anyway, why not start at Balrig. They paid a band to stay for a week last year. And there’s a gathering coming up. Maybe if they like us they’ll hire us back on.”

  Ned rubbed at his chin and looked interested. “Balrig you say. What else is near there?”

  Brandon rattled off a few towns that I’d never heard of, but Ned was grunting and Babette looked interested enough.

  “I found the players who beat us north,” said Brandon, almost absently. “They were a week ahead of us and they’re heading east from here. If might be worth our while to work more South west.”

  “What think you all?” said Ned, mostly speaking to Robin and Babette, who were the only ones who helped him select locations.

  Robin shrugged but Babette was nodding. Brandon was nodding too, his eyes found me, finally. And I met them. My stomach clenched, my heart started pounding and I searched his face for signs that he’d missed me like I’d missed him. But there was nothing. Just that bright urgency that seemed to energize him from within.

  “We’ll rest the horses another ten minutes and turn off here,” said Ned, shrugging. “Might as well head south. No reason why not.” But he glanced at Thamas. South would bring him further away from his wife and child. Thamas looked almost as eager as Brandon.

  “Jenny that much of a nightmare?” muttered Glenna, loud enough so that we all could hear. Thamas blushed but didn’t respond.

  “Excellent,” said Brandon, his smile was quick and brilliant.

  It was easy enough to put Meg out of his mind while he was on the hunt for MacDonald. Easy enough not to think of her as he was asking through villages, searching through Mackenzie lands. Twice, he’d landed on a location where Angus Dubh had stayed, but it seemed like no one in the highlands had been willing to keep him long. Brandon was beginning to think he’d have to risk travelling through Cameron lands when he’d stopped at the keep of a McClerie chieftain, only to be told that Angus had stopped there for a night on his way to Balrig. The newer castle Balrig was a MacDonald holding and further south than Brandon would have guessed Angus might go. And yet the move was a perfect one, for the King wouldn’t be looking for him in a MacDonald holding. James thought a great deal of Angus’ intelligence, and Angus wouldn’t dare be that stupid.

  Unless he was running out of places to go. Or unless it was actually a brilliant plan – to do exactly what the King expects you to do. And so, Brandon had hurried to try and find Ned and the Troupe before they got too far. Ned would be Brandon’s only sure way of entering the MacDonald keep. If the MacDonalds were harboring Angus Dubh, they might not be letting anyone in.

  But it would be easier to access Balrig with the musicians. Worse came to worse, he’d pay them out of his own purse for their troubles and find a different way to enter the castle.

  His freedom so close he could taste it, it was incredibly easy to push Meg out of his mind. Soon he’d be knighted, given an estate, a title – but then Meg had climbed out of the wagon.

  He’d noticed her absence when he’d first ridden up. He’d noticed her slide out of the tented wagon and head over. He noticed her watch him, and when he’d allowed himself to look at her, had nearly been felled by the intensity of the emotions that rolled over him. They came pouring through him as their eyes met. And he had to blink and look away, he had to remind himself why he was here. How close he was to capturing a traitor to the crown. To earning his life back.

  When it was time to leave, Brandon mounted up, eager to be off, to make it to Balrig quickly, before Angus left. Meg had disappeared into the wagon and hadn’t come back out.

  “You seem eager,” said Ned as Brandon’s horse champed against his bit. “What awaits you in Balrig. Do you have a sweetheart, some long-lost cousin?”

  He was joking but Brandon smiled. “Something like that,” he said. “I’ve a friend I’m looking forward to reacquainting myself with.”

  Chapter 2

  I could hear Brandon and Ned talking. I knew, I just knew that Brandon’s ‘friend’ was a woman. Why else would he leave me? No. That’s not the question. Why had he come back?

  Brandon’s reappearance didn’t make sense. I sat there, knees pulled into my chest, listening to his voice as he told Ned about his travels north, his visit to his mother. I knew he was lying. He was lying like I lied every day. He was using details that seemed plausible, no doubt speaking lies that were close enough to truths. Maybe he did have family near Cameron land (I shuddered at the memory of the place). Maybe he had old friends, brothers, people he hadn’t seen in years. But I don’t think he went home. Where he went was anyone’s guess, as was why he’d returned.

  Returned and was now dragging us south.

  I pressed my hand to my stomach. But wasn’t this what you wanted? Wasn’t this what you were waiting for? You have to tell him now.

  No. I didn’t want to tell him anything. If I told him I was pregnant, he’d try to do right by me, or worse, he wouldn’t. But I didn’t want him staying with me simply because of a baby.

  I knew my thoughts were irrational. I had to tell him. I couldn’t do this on my own, couldn’t raise a child without help. I knew he would help me, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him.

  We stopped for the night, and he slept by the fire, but he made no moves to speak to me. He didn’t ask me about my health, or my music, or where we’d been or what we’d been doing.

  We travelled south for four days before passing Carn Eig. I knew I couldn’t put off our conversation any longer.

  I hopped out of the wagon and jogged over towards where Brandon was walking his mount. “I’m surprised your back,” I said, without preamble. Brandon looked over at me, mouth a thin line, but he inclined his head. “Why is that?”

  “Why would you return? It was clear enough that you were heading north. And when we weren’t going northward any more you continued on. Now whatever you’re searching for is in the south.”

  Brandon’s lips curled into a dry smile. “Clever girl,” he said. “Or perhaps I was, as I said: looking to spend some time with my family.”

  I shrugged. Antagonism was not a great way to begin the conversation we had to have. I opened my mouth to ask him if we might speak a bit more privately, but he cleared his throat. “If you’ll excuse me,” he said. “I’d like to ride on and make sure that they’ll have as at Balrig. If not, we may want to continue on to the village.”

  He put a foot in the stirrup of his saddle and swung up. With a sharp flick of the reigns the horse was trotting off down the lane.

  Chapter 3

  B randon felt like and absolute cad. He wanted to turn around, rush to Meg, kiss her senseless and apologize. But he needed to keep Meg at a distance. He needed to be focused.

  He rode off to Balrig and was surprised at the size
of its rambling structure. The original keep was a tower house, but there had been recent additions: there were now several wings sprawling back, and another tower connected by a long rectangular building.

  There were clansmen sitting guard duty outside the tower and one called down to him as he approached.

  “Greetings!” called Brandon when they hailed him. “I’m riding with a troupe of musicians who are seeking work and a place to bed down for the night. Might your laird be interested in a performance this evening? If not, I’ll be onto town.”

  If Angus was there, the MacDonalds would be cautious and it was best not to have them think he wouldn’t perform in the village that evening. Worse comes to worse, he’d invite the MacDonald laird to see them perform in the village that evening. He’d no doubt hire them after.

  The man on the tower went in and twenty minutes later, the Laird of Balrig was exiting the keep with two clansmen in tow. Brandon sketched the laird a bow. “Greetings,” he said.

  “Player,” returned the laird of Balrig, a rail thin man around Brandon’s age with straw colored hair a long, slightly ruddy nose. “You’re seeking work?”

  “I’m a member of a professional troupe. We boast a full highland orchestra and can do ballads, jigs, dance music, whatever you request. We’re engaged in Duart in a week’s time. But should you wish for a bit of entertainment this evening, we’ve heard on the road that Balrig is a good hall to play and that you’ve your clansmen with you this month.”

  “That we do,” said the man, rubbing his beard. “And how much will you be charming?”

  Brandon gave him the usual sum and they haggled over the price for a while until the Laird of Balrig was satisfied that he had a bargain. “Come in then,” he said. “And your orchestra will follow shortly?”

  “They’re not a half hour behind, I assure you,” said Brandon. He was led in through the tower building and into the long hall, where, indeed, there were about fifty MacDonald clansmen present. Brandon’s eyes scanned the crowd, but there was no sight of Angus Dubh. He closed his eyes a moment. There was no time to panic and re-plan. He’d have to search the castle first, or hope that the promise of a night’s merriment might flush the weasel from its den.

  His suspicions were further peaked when the laird’s brother-in-law sat down and began asking him questions about where he’d come from. The Laird might be interested in a night’s merriment, but the brother was suspicious. Brandon let him ask his questions, and even threw in a few slightly derisive comments about the King. The Laird’s brother in law reacted warily, but Brandon was sure his eyes had lit in agreement when he’d called James a “long-nosed goodwife.” Brandon was willing to bet that it was the brother-in-law, and not the Laird, who was helping Angus. Brandon asked a few questions in return and learned at the brother-in-law was also a MacDonald. Brandon would bet his freedom that he was from Islay and had connections to the old Lord of the Isles.

  The troupe arrived around when Brandon had predicted, and Brandon introduced Ned as the troupe’s leader. The housekeeper took the women back to freshen up and showed the men the makeshift stage in the corner of the room.

  Brandon was setting chairs in place when Meg approached him again. “Brandon,” she said, setting her harp on a chair and crossing her arms over her stomach in a gesture that was so vulnerable it made his heart ache.

  “I’d like to speak with you, if you have time tonight.”

  No. He did not have time tonight. Brandon needed to search the castle. Needed to mingle amongst the clansmen, needed to search out Angus Dubh and get him trussed up and on his way to Edinburgh.

  Brandon shook his head. “I’m a bit busy right now,” he said, knowing he sounded abrupt and regretting his tone when Meg took a step back and then forward, clearly having to screw up her courage to talk to him. “It’s important,” she said.

  Brandon blanched a moment, his mind not willing to mull over all the reasons she might have to wish to speak with him. So instead he grunted, placed the last chair down, and left to go change his shirt.

  Chapter 4

  I was not going to cry, I was not going to cry, I was not going to cry. But it was difficult for me to focus. Twice I missed my entrance to songs and even Glenna looked back once to see what was going on. I kept looking at Brandon, I kept trying to figure him out. Because he was avoiding me, he was absolutely avoiding me. Did he know already? Did he know I was pregnant and wasn’t ready to take responsibility?

  I knew I had to stop jumping to conclusions. What I had to do was talk to him. When our last song ended and when the MacDonald’s applauded and invited us to drink with them, I set my harp down, screwed up my courage, and went to try one more time.

  But in the second it had taken me to settle my harp back into its case, Brandon had walked off. I spied him over near the door, speaking to one of the clanswomen who’d been serving ale and bread that evening. She was young, attractive, and full-figured. His smile was meant to charm and as he leaned in and said something to her, she let out a roar of laughter and gripped his arm to keep her steady. Brandon was grinning ear to ear and my heart sunk as he offered her his arm and escorted her from the room.

  “It hurts more than you think it’s going to.” I nearly jumped at Glenna’s voice behind me, at her hand as it landed on my shoulder.

  I whirled and snapped. “What does?”

  “Love,” she said. “It takes almost no time at all to fall into it, and it takes ages to fall out. It’s different for women than it is for men.” She looked understanding, but not sympathetic. “We love more fiercely than they do. The amount of men I’ve met who have no problem turning their back on their wives…”

  She shook her head. “They’re good to have fun with, Meg. Quit while you’re ahead. He’s lost to you.”

  I could only stare as she strode off down towards the tables, where a troupe of MacDonald men hailed her and beckoned she drink with them. A few looked in my direction too, but I was in no mood to drink with anyone. I needed to be by myself. I could see Ned talking to the Laird of Balrig and had a feeling we’d been asked to stay another night.

  Blindly, I left the hall, trying not to go in the direction I’d seen Brandon take. I needed to go back to the room that Glenna and I had been given. I needed to close my eyes and, when I woke up, this would all just be a terrible misunderstanding. Brandon would still want me…

  I was lost in my thoughts. So lost that I didn’t realize I’d taken an entirely wrong turn. In fact, where was I?

  I had to think back to where I’d walked. I’d taken a left out of the hall, maybe another right. I’d gone up a set of stairs…

  Turning to try and head back in the direction I had come I shot past another hallway and knocked straight into a man coming up the stairs. He stumbled back a moment, clearly taken by surprise and I gasped in apology. “I’m so sorry! Are you all right?”

  He looked up, blue eyes flashing annoyance.

  We both stopped. My breath stuck in my throat, jaw dropping, air wooshing from my lungs. I knew this man.

  He had the same auburn hair, same sharp cheeks and hooked nose. He was the same height with the same thin lips.

  Recognition flared in his gaze as well, and he opened his mouth to say something…

  I don’t what he would have said. I fled. I shot past him and down the stairs, almost tumbling down the stones. Above me, I heard him call out. I heard him use my name: Maighread.

  I ran and and ran and ran. I knew he was behind me somewhere, knew he was following me. Three years had passed, and he remembered me. He knew who I was.

  I turned left, tearing down a blackened hall and slamming hard into someone.

  I tumbled back, losing my footing and landing on the stones with a thud that made my wrists scream. The man I’d knocked into cursed, holding his chest as if he were winded.

  As he reached down I almost screamed, scooting away. But I heard the footsteps at the end of the hall.

  The man I’d hit was cloak
ed in shadows, invisible to me, but I could see that he looked up, looked over and then down again.

  I suddenly found myself ripped up off the floor and tossed through a doorway. The door closed just as the footsteps hit the hall, echoing down the blackened length.

  I knew I was sobbing only when the stranger swooped down and covered my mouth with his hand.

  The footsteps were coming back down the hall, slowing towards where we were. I heard a few doors down the hall open, and then the handle on ours jiggle. But the stranger must have locked it for the door didn’t budge an inch.

  Only when the footsteps receded down the hall did the stranger speak. “What on God’s earth have you gotten yourself into?” Brandon’s voice was furious and breathless against my ear. I sagged into his arms, panicked tears rising to the surface and spilling all over his hands.

  Brandon spun me and pulled me roughly against his chest. The hand he tangled in my hair was fierce. “Meg,” he said. “Meg. Tell me what happened.”

  I shook my head against his chest, silent sobs wracking through me. I wasn’t afraid of the man upstairs, but I’d been found out. Whoever that man was, now he knew. He knew who Maighread was, and I would have to leave. I would have to leave or face my father, who might just kill me when he found out that I was…that I was…

  “No. Enough avoiding now. You tell me what that was about. Someone is searching this castle for you, and you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  “You can’t know that.” I said, hiccupping against his hand. “You can’t see me.”

  “I’ve been wandering through the dark for quite some time. Trust me, I can see you,” he said, dryly. “Who was looking for you?”

  “I don’t know,” I cried.

  Brandon growled in frustration. “I swear to God, Meg, if you keep lying to me…”

  “I’m not lying. I don’t know who he is. I never learned,” I said.

  I could feel Brandon still beneath my cheek. His hands on my back softened and he stepped back, holding my arms and staring down at me. “Start from the beginning,” he said. “If you don’t know who he is, then where did you first see him?”