“You think that’s funny do you?”
Saber made the huffing noise again. Caroline bit her lip. Fought a smile, because she was in too much pain and too bewildered by him to let the corner of her mouth lift.
“Fine. You wanna play? Fine I’ll play.” She’d didn’t plan to play at all though. Her frustration and the pain had taken her over the edge. She let her right hand close over as much mud as it could take and turned around sitting on her butt. Then she flung the mud at his face. The ball of mud smacked against the side of his neck. Saber looked at it for a split second and then looked back at her. His eyes stayed on her face as if studying her. When he lunged for her this time she thought again that she’d misjudged him and that she’d die from her own foolishness.
But Saber didn’t lunge directly for her. He pounced. His two front paws slapped against the mud so rapidly that they splashed it up in every direction.
“Urgh …” She rolled away. She tried to escape the splatter, but it was no use. All the while, the damn beast bayed. It sounded like its own brand of laugher. Angry she reached again and again for chucks of mud and hurled them at him. She dodged and weaved out of the way when he saw them coming, and then responded in kind by pouncing into the mud and splashing it all over her. Before she knew it … a smile spread over her own face.
She kept flinging clumps of mud at him every so often, but soon wore herself out. Saber stopped when she stopped and his eyes view her from her head first and then she watched on as his eyes traveled down her body. Then he did another odd thing. He sunk down and rolled over into the mud. Caroline watched in awe.
“You are unbelievable. You know that?” She said to him when he started to wind down. If she didn’t know better she’d say he was grinning at her. Though he looked deadly and scary as hell, he also had a smile in his arresting eyes, and what looked to be a grin sliding over his face.
“We’d better keep going,” she said at last. The sky had only darkened and she wanted to reach the city soon. She didn’t want to spend the night in the trees. Who knew if there were any other creatures out here.
Saber turned his back on her and backed himself towards her. It was the first time she’d paid attention to his tail. His tail seemed short for a cat’s, and she couldn’t believe he was offering it to her to pull her out of the mud, but that looked to be what he was doing. She grabbed on, but the instant she did, Saber hissed at her and whipped it his head to her, snarling reproachfully at her.
“What?” She sank back. Her heart had jumped into her throat. “What did I do?” He chucked his head up as if nodding to her. Slowly, tentatively she reached forward. When her hands got close to his tail he hissed, so she spread her hands wider. He nodded at her and she dug her fingers into his fur. Once she grabbed ahold he stepped forward and pulled her body from the suction of the mud.
She stood and looked around. They were about twenty feet from the tunnel entrance. Three feet in and all she could see was darkness. She felt the familiar nudge at her back and rolled her eyes in response.
“Okay, okay. I’m going. Jeez. Are you this pushy with all the girls you meet?” Looking over at her fierce friend, she saw the same amused look on his face he’d made earlier.
“You understand every word don’t you?” she asked. To that though, he didn’t respond.
“Why do you want me to go this way?” she asked next. “It doesn’t really seem like the smart thing to do considering the other option. I mean, unless you’re trying to kill me, but just too chicken to do it yourself.”
At that he tilted his head at her and she could have sworn on her life that he’d just rolled his eyes.
“Why are you helping me?”
No response.
“You know I like you, but you’re a big pain in the butt too.” Caroline stumbled, and before she could fall, Saber was there, his large body under her good arm helping her back to her feet. As she walked on through, her hand stayed buried in his fur. It comforted her—the sheen and softness of it, even the color. She liked to trace the spots where they randomly popped up over his back.
“Your fur is really soft.” The words fell out of her mouth.
Saber purred and walked a bit closer. But her stomach twisted from the sight in front of her. The dank and dark underbelly of the tunnel loomed before her. When they reached its entrance, Saber stopped.
“What?” she asked him. “You wanted me to go this way, why are you stopping now?”
He huffed and bucked up his head.
And then it dawned on her. “You’re not coming?” Dread circled in her belly. She had never been found of the dark. She knew this again like she knew her some of the random details about herself that kept coming to her. “I can’t—don’t make me do this by myself. I don’t know if I can walk it by myself.” Saber gave the same response. Caroline turned and stared down into the pitch black tunnel. “I really don’t like the dark,” she whispered. Saber nudged her forward.
“Hey now. Stop that. Don’t be pushy. I told you, I’m not ready.” He nudged her lower back again.
“Damn you cat. I said I’m not ready.” But as the words tumbled out a flicker of something against the tunnel wall caught her attention. Bright sporadic light glowed with blurry images on the tunnel wall.
Chapter 4
She wandered closer as if drawn to them as she realized they were pictures. They were coming and going too fast for her to glimpse what the images were of. Then the wall where they had appeared went dark, the pictures gone. Two feet deeper into the tunnel they reappeared, this time the images were appearing slower, but still at a good speed that had her wishing she could pause them and make sense of what she was seeing.
The pictures were of different scenes and of different people. People that looked familiar to her. As she studied them, she realized they were familiar because she knew each person—her mother, Jeanene—her father, Scott—her sister, Georgia, and her brothers, Tad, and Roan. The pictures were opening up past events in her mind and helped to release memories she’d lost. They were flowing now. Her mind was playing connect the dots and trying to fill in the holes.
The wall darkened again, the images stopped. “No.” Caroline placed her hand on the wall where they had been. Willing them to reappear. There were still gaps of her past left unanswered, she could feel it.
When the next reel of images flashed a couple of feet down the tunnel, brightening the darkness within, she didn’t pause to consider the shadows, she ran forward to the pictures and said a prayer of thanks, that they had returned.
These images were more recent. Her parents had aged. Her sister and brothers had grown up out of childhood and into adulthood. She saw friends, and events she’d taken part in. High school images came and went. She paid more attention now, knowing that her more recent past that she’d forgotten was about to unfold. An image of Saber’s green eyes flashed on the wall. Only it wasn’t the beast in the picture. Confused she moved closer and reached out to touch the image. Time slowed and halted altogether. The image stayed. Her mind tried to make the connection. The beautiful and fierce eyes held her, causing a whirl of emotions to circle through her. Sadness, fondness, and despair. Those eyes …
They were …
They were Gavin’s.
Her …
Boyfriend.
In the image Gavin was looking directly at her from at least ten feet away. His head canted slightly to the side, like he was studying her. A curious and amused expression covered his face. His lips were quirked in a crooked smile. And the fine, strong line of his jaw was covered with dark stubble, the same color as his thick, stylish, messy hair.
She remembered, he’d been laughing and eating with a group of his friends that day outside a café on Main Street. She’d just left the shop next to the café when her gaze fell on him. He and his friends had been a sight. They were three good-looking, bounteous men, having a good time and smiling like they didn’t have a care in the world. But the smile that had affected he
r ability to walk had been Gavin’s. Any female would have stumbled on the straight sidewalk like she had. When she righted herself he’d been staring at her. His amusement from his conversation had been still present on his face. When she’d not been able to look away, he tilted his head and studied her with those same arresting eyes. That had been the moment frozen in the picture.
Finally aware of what she was doing, staring at a stranger, heat flushed into her cheeks and Caroline adjusted her purse on her shoulder and started walking to her car. She could feel his gaze follow her. The hairs over her arms and neck rose as nervous excitement flowed through her. She heard his friends calling out to him and looked over in time to see him jump over the small café gate that separated the patrons from the people walking by. He came to his full height and in seconds stood before her.
“Hi,” he said with a flirty smile.
“Um—hi.”
She’d forgotten to breathe. She’d been intimidated by his masculine perfection. His asymmetrical face and his fascinating eyes. And a girl could get lost in his smile for days.
She could almost hear his laughter in her head when she thought about the humor hidden behind his grin. Gavin laughed often, smiled most of the time. He even had small wrinkles by his eyes to prove it. The memory of his laughter grew stronger and she didn’t need the pictures anymore to remember him. She walked forward in the tunnel and closed her eyes. She would use this to help her make it through the deepest, darkest part of the tunnel.
The memories came to her instantly when called.
The first to come back to her had been the day Gavin and her made cookies in the kitchen of her apartment. She’d been watching him mix in the chocolate chips when he’d playfully thrown a small clump of dough at her. She’d dipped her spoon as if to eat a scoop and instead, flicked a larger clump back at him. It smacked him perfectly on the neck. For a second she wondered if his temper would rise and if he’d be mad. He wasn’t. The corners of his mouth lifted and he dug a hand into the cookie mix bowl. Seeing his plan and the grin building on his face she ran. But he was right behind her. He chased her down the hall and stopped her from shutting and locking her bedroom door. He barged in and got her in the back as she ran to the other side of the room. They were both laughing uncontrollably. He left her and headed back down the hall, with her trailing after him to stop him from getting to the cookie bowl first. Before she knew it, they were covered in dough and there were clumps of dough all over her apartment.
It had ended when he caught her around the waist and smashed cookie dough in her mouth. She’d glared up at his smiling face as she chewed. Gavin had fire in his eyes, a hunger like she’d never seen there before. His gaze drew down to her lips an instant before he pulled her body into his, leaned forward, and planted a passionate kiss on her lips. Her arms immediately swung around his neck and she stood up on her toes to return his fervent kiss. He cupped her cheek, licked and nipped at her mouth before and she opened for him. Her heart had raced, her body had ignited. His tongue delved into her mouth and tangled with her own, sharing the sweetness she’d just consumed.
That had been their first kiss.
She remembered the one morning she opened her eyes to find him lying beside her. His head turned towards her, his eyes studying her face. They were naked and stayed like that for a long time just taking in one another.
Giving him her virginity the night before had been the best decision she had ever made. Gavin had been so good to her, had taken things slowly, had paid tribute to every part of her body first.
It had started with a soft, sweet kiss goodbye on the couch until her desperation and impatience for him got the best of her. She’d held tight to him, not willing to let him go. He’d trailed kisses from the corner of her mouth to her ear, where he whispered, “You’re so beautiful Caroline. I don’t deserve you.”
He lightly bit her ear before moving down blazing a line of kisses from her ear to her neck and further across her collarbone and chest. She’d been breathless and in a daze of lust, wanting and demanding more. She still didn’t remember how they’d gotten into her bedroom. But they had.
He made quick work of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head. In no time he’d removed her bra too. She trembled with need as his hands lightly brushed her skin traveling up her ribs and then cupping and caressing her breasts. “I’ve dreamed of this,” he whispered low.
His head dipped. At first his tongue circled her puckered nipple, and then his mouth covered her breast, sucking her nipple into his mouth. He moved from one breast to the other.
The rest of their clothing had quickly disappeared after that. They had been dating for five months, and it had been hell every night to let him go and watch him leave. She knew she loved him. She had known it from the first day she’d seen him that he would enchant her world, and she hadn’t been wrong. He meant everything to her. From the moment she woke to the moment her head hit the pillow, Gavin was on her mind.
And finally they stood before each other without any barriers. His eyes roamed over her from head to toe. She backed towards the bed and Gavin followed. When the back of her knees hit the mattress she laid back and scooted until her head rested on the pillow. Gavin came forward, and crawled up to her. She had wanted his mouth again, but he smiled a devilish smile and started first with her chest and then worked his way down. He took his time doing things to her she’d never had anyone do before. He brought her to the brink and over twice before he moved up her body. His fingers replaced where his mouth had been moments before, where she needed him the most.
He readied her body and brought her to the point of madness. She’d begged him, pleaded with him for more. “Shh … I know, baby.” His breath tickled her ear as he whispered into it, “So beautiful, Caroline. You have no idea what you do to me. What you’ve been doing to me from the moment I saw you standing there that day. I need you too. So much. More now than I ever have before.” He pulled back and looked down into her eyes. “Will you give yourself to me, completely? Will you be mine, Caroline?”
She nodded and reached behind his neck to and pulled his face down so that she could whisper against his lips. “Yes, Gavin. I want you. Just you.”
He pulled away for only a moment and positioned himself at her entrance. Then slowly and tenderly entered her for the first time, as softly spoke sweet praises to her and brushed his lips over hers.
“You’re perfect, Car. So perfect. And mine. We were made for each other.”
Though painful at first, the intense pressure had quickly passed and she’d clutched him to her. The fever of their love making heated rapidly. Her hunger to reach her peak had her begging, and Gavin moving over her in skillful thrusts had her begging, “Please.” Soon it became too much, she was gasping and clawing at his back, as sweat trickled down Gavin chest. Gavin made sure she’d found her release before he followed her over the edge. Afterwards, after he’d tucked her into the side of his body and kissed her forehead, she remembered thinking, that beyond her release, she found pleasure in his deep kisses, his beautiful words, his fingers stroking her skin, his lips and breath on her neck, and also the sounds he’d made when he found his own pleasure inside her body. It had been everything she had wished for her first time.
The memory faded and another took its place.
She’d been driving through the fog the day before Christmas. Gavin beside her in the passenger seat. She had always hated driving in bad weather, and her knuckles were white on the steering wheel from the stress of trying to fight not only the bad roads but also the traffic. Seeing this, Gavin had reached over and taken her hand. He brought it to his mouth and brushed his lips over her knuckles. But he didn’t stop there. He turned her hand over and then lightly bit the inside of her wrist. The flame up of desire she felt for him had helped her turn her mind away from the bad roads.
Two minutes later, they were pulled over on the side of the road and their lips were locked. Under the cover of the storm he’d used his ta
lented hands to release the tension in her body.
Afterwards he’d switched places and taken the driver’s seat. Before starting the car, he’d faced her and given her a timid smile. “Caroline, I need to tell you something.” He cupped her face with both hands, “I’ve never felt this way about another person. I think I love you. I know I adore you. And this feeling has been burning inside me for a while now. I just didn’t know how to tell you, and make it not seem so … so.
“It’s like the words don’t fit what I mean. I love you. What does that really mean? But they’re the closest ones I can think of.”
She smiled and placed her other hand over his. “I know what you mean. I feel the same.”
How could she not?
“I love you too, Gavin.”
His smile widened and she couldn’t hold back the grin that broke over her face. She squeezed his hand, and he let go of her face so that he could squeeze her hand in return and then kiss her madly.
They had made it to her parents’ a little late that night. He’d met her family and she’d gotten their seal of approval on him, though she hadn’t needed it. He’d been the man for her since the moment she’d locked eyes with him.
Her heart soared even now when she remembered those words leaving his lips time and time again. Through the months they continued to date and sleep over together enough that it felt somewhat like they were living together. She had fallen even deeper for him with every minute of every day.
So why did she feel sadness, and despair lurking in her heart when she thought of him now?
Something had broken them. She could sense it.
Six Shades of Romance Page 5