Frost on My Window

by Angela Weaver

  “What’s that?” Sean asked as he came back into my bedroom. I stopped in the process of putting my latest reading club selection back on the bookshelf.

  “Nothing.” I turned, holding the book behind my back.

  “Okay.” He smiled and took three steps closer to me.

  “Everything all right with the group?” I asked about the phone call he’d just taken from Mike, his manager.

  “Yep,” he replied in an offhand manner. Before I could ask another question, his arm snaked behind mine and grabbed my book.

  “Give it back.” I tried to keep the humiliated panic out of my voice.

  I cringed as he opened the book to where my bookmark lay and started to read. “Women are like undiscovered countries to a man. Men want to be explorers. A woman must always be a mystery on the horizon, an idea unknown that whispers to him of places unseen and treasures not yet unearthed. He must take care to travel in her world for he knows not where the journey leads, forest or desert, hostile or welcoming. As he attempts to draw her, put ink to paper and map her hills, rivers and valleys, she must always remember to keep a part of herself distant. Give no aid for he must be a man, strong and independent so that he might continue on his journey, ever thoughtful and intrigued no matter what trials and tribulations might fall upon his path…”

  My cheeks burned. “Great. You can read. Now may I have my book back?”

  Grinning, Sean shook his head. “You don’t need this. You’re a beautiful, self-assured, intelligent, overall wonderful woman.”

  He held on to the book and I just gave up and headed for the door. “I’m thirsty.” I tossed over my shoulder. “Would you like some more iced tea?”

  “That would be good. Thanks.”

  I watched as he made himself comfortable in my chair and fought the urge to smack him as he continued reading.

  I walked back into my bedroom with the glasses just as he was finishing a conversation on his cell phone.

  I handed him the tea. Sean set the book on the nearby bookcase shelf and looked at me. His green eyes were serious.

  “Leah, why don’t you let me get close to you?”

  I almost tripped. Where the hell had that come from? I gingerly took my seat on the edge of the bed. I could feel a headache beginning to start in the middle of my forehead. The last thing I needed was for Sean to start asking questions I didn’t want to answer.

  I gave him a sideways glance. “Sean, we’re best friends. We couldn’t be any closer without being joined at the hip.”

  “That’s not what I meant,” he said.

  I stood up to place the glass on the nightstand and picked up Sean’s toy.

  “New cell phone? Does this one let you access the Internet?”

  Sean’s last cell had been an all-black flip. This one was shiny silver. Sean had spent almost an hour trying to convince me to let him buy me one of the things. I didn’t want a leash. Pretty soon I would be required to carry one because of my job. But until they tied me down and strapped me with the damn thing, I’d be free.

  I turned to see him standing two feet from me and I automatically backed up a step.

  “See,” he said.

  “What?”

  “You just moved away.”

  “Are you having some kind of male PMS you need to tell me about?”

  “No, just proving a point.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s like there’s a line in the sand between us and when I step forward, you pull back and draw another.”

  “Not true.” I picked up the glass of iced tea and took a sip to moisten my suddenly dry throat.

  “The only time that you come close is when I need you,” he said.

  “You’ve been spending too much time watching Tom and Jerry. I’m not drawing any lines in the sand.” To prove it I took a step forward while looking him dead in the eyes.

  “Then why are you so nervous?”

  “Nervous?” I licked my lips.

  “Your glass is shaking.”

  I looked down at my right hand. Damned if the glass wasn’t trembling. I put it on the table and wiped a cold wet palm against my pants leg.

  “I’m sorry, Sean. It’s not you. Rena’s going through some things and I’m worried about her.”

  It was a half-truth. Her voice had sounded tired and weary in the message on the answering machine. The trip to the Bahamas wasn’t going well and I didn’t have a clue as to why. Then there was Lance. I kept seeing baby Michael asleep in his arms.

  Still, that was only a tiny fraction of my real issues. The full truth was that the bond I had with Sean, the one created a year ago while sitting on a lonely cliff overlooking the ocean, had grown strong. The deep friendship had become something that I depended on, couldn’t see myself living without. That I felt more for Sean than anything I ever imagined with Lance scared me to death.

  The touch of Sean’s fingers on my shoulders brought me out of my reverie.

  “Hey.” He spoke softly as he cradled my chin. “Rena’ll be fine. She’s a fighter, remember? Now why don’t you lie down before you collapse?”

  “Sean you’re my guest…” I protested.

  “Leah, don’t you think it’s time that you let me help you? That’s what friends are for, remember?” His voice held a hint of annoyance. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

  I shook my head and watched as he bent down and unstrapped my sandals. As I sat on the bed, the little devil in my head started pounding harder. Thoughts of Rena, Lance, and Nine’s unexpected visit swirled through my mind like a tornado.

  “Lie down on your stomach and close your eyes,” he ordered.

  I looked into his green eyes and saw concern staring back at me.

  The pounding in my head allowed for no quick comeback. I just did as he asked. I felt the bed move and then the hard warmth of his hands as they eased under my shirt and settled over my shoulders.

  “Take deep breaths.” Sean’s voice had softened to a mere whisper.

  I felt his fingers moving slowly over my muscles. They pushed gently inward, upward, and outward in fluid motions. So much for the Strong Black Woman, I thought sleepily, feeling the tension in my neck dissipate.

  As I lay with my face cushioned in the pillows, I felt like a lost child. Everything seemed to be spinning out of control and I couldn’t handle it. I buried my face deeper into the pillow as Sean’s hands worked their brand of magic.

  The sound of the ocean echoed in my ears as Sean sang a soft lullaby. His fingers, like waves, crested and rose, back and forth on my back. As I felt Simba’s furry bulk settle at my feet, I let go of everything, following Sean’s voice as it drew me gently into sleep.

  * * *

  I dreamed I was hearing one of Pop’s old LP records skipping in my ear. I moved in my dream, intending to find the player and turn it off. Instead, I woke up to a heartbeat that wasn’t mine and thought I was dreaming. The chest moved up and down slowly and the warmth of the arm around my waist felt solid, but I knew Sean wasn’t really there. Instead, I took a deep breath and told myself it was just a dream. Then I looked up into those green eyes and watched mesmerized as his lips lowered to kiss mine. I couldn’t move.

  Sean kissed like a man drowning. Thirsty, smooth, long, and sweet. His fingers brushed against my neck and settled upon my cheek as my hands rested on his chest. As he caressed me, I got lost in his kiss. Until the ringing of a phone banished the cloud of sleep from my mind. I pulled back and closed my eyes in embarrassment, but the chirping of the phone continued.

  “You should answer that,” I pointed out.

  I watched as Sean turned and grabbed the phone off the nightstand. I had scooted over, intending to leave the room when his fingers curled around my arm.

  “Stay, darling.” His voice was still husky with sleep and something I wouldn’t allow myself to recognize.

  “What’s up, Marc?” he said into the phone.

  “Yeah, it’s five-thirty? What’s the problem?”


  I sat cross-legged on the bed looking everywhere but at the man at my side.

  “All right. Stop yelling. I’ll be downstairs in a minute. Yeah, call them and tell them I’ll be late.”

  The sound of the phone snapping closed drew my attention away from the sight of the curtains fluttering in a light draft.

  “Leah,” he said.

  “Interview?” I asked and watched Sean nod. “You’re going to be late.”

  “We need to talk.”

  “Later.” I faked a yawn. “I’m going back to sleep and you’re going to go make some people very happy.”

  I smiled at him, making a show of lying down and closing my eyes.

  “You have to see me out.”

  “You are too old to be getting lost from my bedroom to the front door.”

  “You have to lock the door, Leah. This is New York, you know.”

  I rolled my eyes and got out of bed, all the while watching Sean as he bent over to put on his shoes. Even in the twilight of the room, I could clearly see his tousled hair and shadowed jaw. It should be against the law for a man to look good at that time of the morning.

  I followed him to the front and stood back as he unlocked the door and opened it.

  “I’ll call you later,” Sean said.

  I nodded my head and plastered a smile on my face. “Good luck.” I looked up in time to see a strange look cross his face as he looked at me. I could just imagine what he saw. I was not a morning person and I’d never be one of those people who could roll out the bed looking fabulous.

  “Take care.” Sean reached out and held my cheek gently before turning away.

  I shut the door behind him and leaned against it with my eyes closed. I took a deep breath and looked up to see Rena standing in the hallway wearing a robe and a wicked grin on her face.

  “Well, well. Looks like somebody had a man in their bed last night…”

  I took another deep breath and prepared to explain. Then I caught sight of the shadows under my cousin’s eyes.

  “What happened, Rena?”

  She shook her head and sighed, but I was determined. We’d never had secrets between us. If I was covering her tracks with white lies, I wanted a real good reason.

  “Nina was assaulted.”

  The breath left my lungs in a whoosh. “When, who, what happened?”

  “You might want to sit down.”

  We sat down together on the sofa. I sat leaning forward and Rena curled up in a little ball with one hand holding a pillow and the other absentmindedly stroking Simba.

  “Nina went with a group of girls to a jazz club early last Saturday evening.”

  “The night of Sean’s concert?” I questioned.

  “Right. Someone slipped something into her drink and she almost died.”

  “What?”

  Rena nodded. “At first she just felt a little tired and dizzy. It could have been blamed on her drinking, but Nina had a recording session the next morning, so she’d decided not to drink alcohol. All she had that night was a Sprite. Then she felt weak and couldn’t think as someone began to draw her towards the exit. Lucky for her, Debra noticed that something was wrong and tried to follow. Nina passed out before he could get her out of the club.”

  “My God.”

  “It gets worse. Her heart almost stopped on the way to the hospital. The drug that was used in her drink was Rohypnol.”

  I rubbed my brow, trying to remember why that name sounded so familiar. Then it hit me. “The date rape drug.”

  “That’s the one. It was too strong for Nina’s system. The stuff is about ten times more powerful than Valium and her heart couldn’t take it.”

  “Who did it?” I was angry, more angry than I’d been in a while. My fingers shook as I rubbed the back of my neck.

  “Nine did it, Leah.”

  I just looked at Rena, the shock plain on my face.

  “As Nina’s friends pushed through the crowd, Nine saw them coming and got scared. He pushed her into the arms of one of his crew before bolting into the crowd and disappearing. Luckily the boy had enough sense to pull out his cell phone and call an ambulance.”

  “He was here. I came home and he was waiting for me.” I shivered, recalling the wild, cornered look in his eyes that evening. “He seemed desperate to find out where Nina had gone.”

  “He should have been. Putting that drug in her drink was criminal. Nine could be facing attempted kidnapping and illegal drug abuse charges.”

  “Why did he do it?”

  She sighed and rubbed her eyes. “He didn’t want to hurt Nina. The boy has a crush on her. Somebody told him that the drug makes people relax. He wanted to talk with her and was afraid he’d get shot down in front of his crew.”

  “And you believe that?”

  “Yes.” She rubbed the bridge of her nose.

  “Why?”

  “Because he had his little brother in the car outside the club that night.”

  “His little brother?” I repeated skeptically.

  “Who is apparently another big fan of Nina’s. All I know is that Nine would have rather cut himself then hurt the girl. The boy was crying.”

  “If his intentions were so pure, why the drug?”

  “Stupidity.”

  “Lord have mercy,” I swore. “How do you know all this?”

  “Nine was at the airport last night,” she answered.

  “What?” I exclaimed.

  “So was Michael.”

  “Why?”

  “How do you think Nine got our address?” she asked. I shook my head, not knowing where she was going with that question.

  “He didn’t get it out of the phone book, we’re unlisted.”

  “I don’t get it.”

  “Michael told Nine to come over here and find out where Nina was.” She continued after pulling on the belt of her robe, “I checked my voicemail while I was in Bermuda. Michael left me messages that go from outright threats to bribery. The man told me that he’d make sure I never worked in the business again unless I got Nina to ‘forget’ about the incident.”

  “The man can’t be that stupid,” I said doubtfully.

  “Oh, he is, and I’ve got it on tape. I’m going to hand in my resignation and a complaint this morning. By afternoon it’ll be all over the street.”

  “How do you feel?” I asked.

  “I want to nail the bastard to the cross.”

  “Which one?” I asked softly.

  “Michael. What Nine did is inexcusable and unacceptable, but he’s little more than a scared boy. Michael, on the other hand, knew what he was doing by pressuring me and sending Nine over here. If I could just get him in a room.” I looked down, noticing Rena’s hands had curled into fists.

  “I’m coming with you,” I declared.

  “Thanks, but this is something I need to do on my own. I have a nine o’clock meeting with the corporate executive in charge of my division and then I’m going to pick Nina up at the airport.”

  “What are you going to do after all this breaks?” I asked.

  “Take some time and to do some soul searching. I don’t think I can take this anymore. The whole game has changed, and I don’t like the new rules.”

  “Do you want to move back to the West Coast?”

  “No. That wouldn’t help. It’s the same no matter which coast we live on. Maybe I’ll start my own label or something. I could try my hand at other things. Who knows? I’ve got so much going on right now that I can’t even think straight.”

  “You know I’ve got your back, right?” I said.

  “I know.” She leaned over and we gave one another a super tight hug. “You, Ralph, Mom, and Pop are the most important people in my life.”

  Simba took that moment to let out a loud meow.

  “You too, fur ball.” She laughed, patting him on his head.

  “Speaking of Mom and Pop,” Rena said, standing up. “When are they due back from that cruise? Pop’s going to go t
hrough the roof after hearing about what happened.”

  “They’ll be back in two weeks.”

  “Now what’s up with you, miss?” Rena raised an eyebrow.

  “What about me?” I dropped my eyes.

  “Why was I hearing Sean sneaking out your room at five-thirty this morning?”

  “He had a television interview.”

  Rena’s smile got wider and she crossed her arms.

  “Oh no,” I protested. “It’s not what you think. We just fell asleep after talking. End of story.”

  “How about end of denial?” Rena shot back. “Your cheeks were flushed and you had that guilty look on your face when I came into the room.”

  “I felt bad for waking you up,” I fibbed. I hadn’t even known she was home.

  Rena’s eyebrow lifted. “Really?”

  “We’re just friends, Rena.”

  “For now, but it can change.” Her voice filled with concern. “The line gets thinner each day. Sean’s a wonderful man, but he operates in a whole other world and I don’t want to see you hurt.”

  “Don’t worry. I can take care of myself,” I replied.

  Rena rose off the coach and headed for the kitchen. As she neared the doorway she paused. “Cuz?”

  “Yes.”

  Rena grinned wickedly. “You might want to check the buttons on your blouse the next time you guys just fall asleep.”

  Chapter 13

  I jumped every time the phone buzzed at work that day, thinking that it was Sean. No matter how much I tried, the way we’d kissed stayed in my mind. It wasn’t until around three o’clock that I got my nerves under control and started worrying about Rena. I kept looking at the clock, hoping the dial had miraculously sped up.

  “Leah?”

  “Yes?” I glanced up from a report I was in the process of reading to see my administrative assistant peek her head in the door.

  “There’s a delivery for you downstairs.”

  I put down my pen. “They can’t bring it up?”

  “The guard said something about not being able to let the guy in and that you’d have to come down and sign for it in person.”

  “That’s odd,” I muttered and pushed back from my desk. “Rachel, could you tell them I’m on my way?”