by B. Love
Leigh ran her fingers through her hair as she looked around her room. Her eyes settled on her phone. She picked it up and dialed her mother’s number, but she quickly disconnected the call. If she talked to her mother, all she would do was tell her she’d made a huge mistake. As if it wasn’t her fault to begin with. All she had to do was play her part and Ricky would have still been in all of their lives.
A bitter chuckle escaped her as she sat on the edge of her bed. She often battled between resenting her mother because she exposed her father and ruined their reality and respecting her mother for choosing right over love. Most times, there was no in between. And this evening, Leigh was suffering with resentment.
Because if Porsha would have kept the truth hidden or not searched for it to begin with, Ricky would have stayed in their home, raised her and her sisters, and maybe even married her mother. Then, there wouldn’t have been such a huge lack in her heart and life. She wouldn’t have searched for love and validation from her father in men. In boys. In sex.
She would have been a normal woman. With normal values. Able to have a normal relationship with Ransom or any other man for that matter.
But no.
Porsha had to listen to her woman’s intuition. She had to follow Ricky that night and watch him enter that home. She had to stay there for hours, waiting for him to leave. She had to stay behind and talk to that woman. And find out the truth. That she was one of many.
Leigh’s head shook as she inhaled a deep breath. She chuckled softly. This wasn’t her mother’s fault at all. It wasn’t her father’s, either. This was all on her, and if she didn’t take responsibility for her actions… she would never be able to make things right with Ransom.
Ransom.
She dialed his number, not surprised that it went to voicemail. The first time she called, she didn’t think to leave a message. So she called back; this time, it went straight to voicemail. He’d blocked her that damn fast. Which was a first. It didn’t matter how upset Ransom got with her, he never blocked her number.
“Damn,” she mumbled, scratching her ear.
After slipping back into her gown, Leigh went to the living room to grab her burner phone, hoping he hadn’t blocked that number, too. Once a month, she got a new one along with a new number for her jobs, but she always gave Ransom and Nash the number just in case some shit went down at one of her hits.
Instead of calling him and giving him time to block the number if he hadn’t already, Leigh decided to send him a text. Whether he read it or not, she would have at least put the ball in his court. And if she knew Ransom as well as she thought she did, he would read it, but not reply until he was no longer upset. When she was sure of what she wanted to say, Leigh began to type the message.
Ransom, I’m really, really sorry for hurting you. I didn’t think my actions would have this kind of effect on you. Because you’re a man, I figured sex meant as little to you as it did to me. Not our sex. We have great sex. I mean… in general. When there’s no feelings involved. And there were no feelings involved for me today. I was acting solely on flesh, but my spirit and soul are attached to you. I understand if it will take you some time to get over this, so I will give you space, but I don’t want to lose you this way.
Even though she knew he wouldn’t reply any time soon, Leigh found herself frozen for hours waiting to hear back from him. The more time went by, the worse she felt. If she could go back in time, she would not have tasted Patrick’s forbidden fruit. No temptation was worth the loss she was experiencing.
So what did that mean?
Would she be forced now to accept her true feelings and need for Ransom?
And if so… would she even be able to have him now?
“Tell me what you love about me,” Maria requested as she looked up at the stars.
Her smile was wide, heart light.
Tonight was a rare night.
One that didn’t include any of her family or any of his friends.
It was just them — her… and Malibu.
As they laid across the back of his Chevy, holding hands, Maria prayed this night would never end. He came into her life and interrupted her lonely in a way that she’d never imagined was possible. Used to being a loner, Maria found Malibu’s interest in her annoying and irritating. But it didn’t take Malibu long to break down those walls. And as soon as he did, she was his.
“Your smile. Your heart. Your voice. Your character. Your beauty. Your independence. Your loyalty. Your… you. Loving you is all I know how to do.”
Maria lifted his hand to her lips and kissed the back of it. “Soft ass nigga,” she teased, causing him to smile as he pulled her underneath his body and began to tickle her.
“I’ll be soft over you,” he confessed once her laughter died down. Malibu waited until she looked at him to add, “I think we should break up, Maria.”
It took Maria a while to digest and react to the sudden change in his tone. She nodded, even though she didn’t agree with what he said. The action was more so to give her time to find words to use because her mind was blank. Her chest tightened as her stomach fluttered. Poking her cheek with her tongue, Maria looked away from his eyes.
“Why?”
“Because Tony found out my set was the one that hit him.” Her eyes returned to his. “He’s coming after us, and I don’t want you involved.”
“Malibu…”
“Ain’t no secret how I feel about you, baby. If he can’t get to me, he will come after you for sure. And if something happened to you because of me, I would kill myself, Maria. Real talk.”
Maria’s chin trembled as she blinked rapidly. Grabbing his arms, her head shook as her heart began to race. “I’m not scared of Tony or anyone else.”
Malibu chuckled softly. “You don’t have to be for him to come after you. That’s something I can’t risk.”
“What about the plans we made, Bu? How are we going to leave here together and go to college in Cali if we’re not together?”
His body relaxed against hers. Malibu swallowed hard and scratched the top of his head.
“If we can make it through the summer here, we can do that. But I’m not taking any chances with your safety. Do you understand?”
A pout covered her face as she looked away, but Malibu turned her head back in his direction.
“Maria.”
“I hear you,” was all she offered, trying to push Malibu off of her.
“You mad at me?”
“What the fuck you think?”
He didn’t reply right away, knowing it wouldn’t matter anyway. When Maria was upset, a person’s words went in one ear and out of the other until she calmed down. Instead, Malibu laid her back down and covered her lips with his.
“I love you, baby,” he declared, tugging her sweats down. “That’s why I have to keep you safe.”
Ignoring his declaration, Maria tried to force herself to remain angry with him. There was no part of her that felt like Tony would bring her harm. There was also no part of her that felt like the plans they made wouldn’t come to fruition. But just the thought of not being able to have moments like this with Malibu for months had Maria filling with anxiety.
That anxiety slowly began to fade when she felt his tongue sliding between her folds. Gripping the back of his head, Maria kept him where she wanted him as she mumbled, “Right there, Bu.”
He stayed there, using his tongue as a detonator to make her explode. Her nectar released, and the wetness seemed to douse the fire growing within her. Covering her face, Maria inhaled a deep, shaky breath as the reality of their relationship ending settled within her. She’d never been the type to fight for or over a man. Hell, Malibu was the first real boyfriend she’d had. The first man outside of family she loved.
As her body began to rock from her sobs, Malibu pulled her hands from her face and kissed her tears away as he pressed his way inside of her.
“I love you so much, Maria. I promise I’ll be back for you on
ce this shit is over.”
“I told you not to try Tony,” she yelled, trying to push him away from her, but Malibu gripped her arms and pulled them over her head. “Now look! Look what you’ve done to us, Malibu!”
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled against her lips repeatedly as he continued to stroke her. “I’m going to fix it. I promise.”
Her back and neck arched. Her mouth opened widely as pleasure began to surge through her. Malibu’s phone began to vibrate, and the first two times, they ignored it. But when he received a third call, he roared, “Damn, mane,” as he snatched the phone.
As irritated as Maria was, she couldn’t help but chuckle. Malibu had only been in Memphis for two years, and he was already starting to take on a southern accent because of the slang there.
“What?” he answered. She watched his face contort before he pulled himself out of her and jumped down from the car. “I got Maria with me. Let me drop her off and I’ll be on my way.” His head nodded as he agreed with whatever whoever was saying. “You’re right. I’ll drop her off at the Majestic and have someone else pick her up and take her home in case he got someone following me.”
Maria pulled her pants and panties back up and hopped off the car as Malibu continued his call. She got into the car and stared out of the window. Malibu got inside and tried to hold her hand, but she pulled it away. Their ride to the Majestic movie theater was silent. The entire time, tears poured from Maria’s eyes. All of the confidence she had earlier was gone… replaced with fear. And a feeling in the pit of her stomach that shit was about to go horribly wrong.
Pulling up on the side of the movie theater, Malibu asked, “Did you text someone and tell them to pick you up from here?” She nodded. “Okay. I’ll wait here with you until they come.”
She chuckled as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “Don’t worry about it, Malibu. Go handle your business. That gang shit is all you care about anyway.”
“Come on, Maria. You know that’s not true.”
She opened the door and slammed it behind her after she got out of the car. Trying to walk away, Maria jerked her body away from his when he grabbed her.
“Tell me goodbye.”
Her head shook as her tears continued to rapidly pour. “I’ll see you later,” she mumbled, avoiding his eyes.
“Tell me goodbye, baby.”
Maria tried to cover her face as her head shook, but Malibu kept her hands at her sides. “No.”
“Maria.” Malibu released a hard exhale as his body weakened against hers. He kissed her gently before muttering, “I love you.” Not bothering to say it back, she nodded and removed herself from his grasp. “You can’t tell me you love me, too?”
Placing her back against the wall, Maria looked towards the now darker sky. She gave Malibu her eyes briefly before saying, “I’ll tell you when you call me tonight. Deal?”
She saw him smile out of the corner of her eye. “Deal.”
Malibu returned to his car. When he drove away, Maria slid down the brick wall. Checking the time on her phone, she sighed. It was eight-eighteen, and she didn’t have to be home until midnight. If she went home any time soon, all she would end up doing was driving herself crazy over what was happening with Malibu until she heard from him again.
Except… she wouldn’t hear from him again.
His phone would call her at nine… but it wouldn’t be him on the other line.
Maria pulled her curls out of her face, just for them to fall right back into it. Slumped down in her seat, she scrolled through her contacts, sighing as she stood when no one popped out at her to call. To be honest, she didn’t really want to call anyone, but she was tired of being alone in her thoughts. February ninth and tenth were always hard days for her.
February ninth was the day Malibu was murdered, and her birthday was the following day. Ever since he died, Maria had been spending her birthdays alone. She knew this evening would be hard for her, so for the first time in a really long time, Maria decided to leave her home before the nine o’clock hour struck. Because when it did, all she would think about was him.
As she made her way to her arcade, all she could think about was Tony. How he’d taken Malibu from her. How she’d made things right through Leigh. At least in the streets. Leigh murdering Tony didn’t do anything to remove the pain of not having Malibu in her life anymore. All the plans they’d made… him playing for the Lakers… her… being his manager and personal coach… ruined.
And for what?
For Malibu to feel as if he belonged? Had a family that truly understood him? While she hated he had to feel that feeling in the streets… she understood it. Hated it, but understood it. Malibu wasn’t like his siblings, and he for damn sure wasn’t like his mother and father. But he got along with the Memphis niggas he connected himself to effortlessly. His loyalty to them was undying. Even when they were doing shit that Malibu knew was wrong, he would ride.
His death further confirmed to Maria that Memphis was not the place for a young black man to be. Hell, if it wasn’t for her family, she would have been left.
Pulling into the parking lot of her arcade, Maria checked the time on her phone. She sniffled, but wouldn’t let a tear fall. Eight-ten.
Heading inside, Maria put on her poker face. Only those who were close to her knew what she struggled with on almost a daily basis. She waited for the day she’d be numb to the pain of losing him… but that day hadn’t come yet. Christian would always tell her that the hardest and worst part was really over. She’d healed as much as she possibly could, but because she hadn’t refilled that space that was filled with pain in her heart… it was still open and festering.
She swore if Maria replaced that pain with love from a new man, she would realize just how much she’d truly healed. And maybe she was right. Because nothing else Maria had tried up until this point had worked.
Maria made her usual rounds. First, she stopped by the office to speak to the manager who was on duty. Then, she walked around and spoke to a few of her guests. Her arcade, Gaming with Gucci, was a large, open space that was originally a warehouse. She bought the lot a little over a year ago and turned it into her adult arcade. Keeping the light wood panels and bright lighting, Maria only added pictures and posters of famous athletes and gamers to add to the décor of the overall space, but the individual living room game rooms had more of a flare.
The left side of the arcade had six living room game rooms that groups could rent out. They had large flat-screen TVs and several different gaming systems. Each included a large reclining sectional along with gaming chairs. The right side of the arcade had all of the typical arcade games. Right in the front was the bar and restaurant, and in the back were the pool tables, darts, and other bar games.
When Maria made it to the bar, she wasn’t expecting to see Jax there. Not wanting to be bothered with him, she tried to quickly walk away, but the moment he called her name, her feet froze. It was… something about the way he called her name. Always did something to her.
She looked down at the time on her phone. Eight-eighteen. Maria didn’t have to turn around to know that Jax was standing behind her. She felt the warmth of his body. Smelled his cologne. He lowered himself to her neck, and the feel of his breath there made chills cover her arms.
“What’s your beef with me?” he asked into her ear. All of the chatter and laughter had muted. All she heard was the calm, low, raspiness of his voice. “What did I do to you?”
For the first time, Maria was honest with herself and Jax. She turned to face him, expecting him to step back and give her some space. He didn’t. Taking a step back, Maria inhaled a deep breath.
“I’m attracted to you,” she confessed for the first time, regretting it as soon as a slow grin began to spread across his face.
“I already know that.”
With a roll of her eyes, Maria tried to walk away, but Jax gently grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his chest. “Don’t make this shit more difficult than it al
ready is.”
“Just tell me what the fuck is up, Maria.”
Shoulders caving, her eyes took in their surroundings as she licked her lips. “I don’t want to talk about this with so many people in here.”
“That’s cool. I reserved a living room. Should be ready at eight-thirty.”
Maria nodded and followed Jax back to the bar. After asking which living room he reserved, Maria called to the back and told security to cut the cameras in there at eight-thirty. She didn’t know how their conversation would go since this was the first time she would ever tell a man about Malibu. Just in case her emotions got the best of her, she didn’t want anyone to see her in a moment of weakness.
Except Jax.
And the only reason he could was because she felt like she owed him that.
He’d been putting up with her attitude and blatant disrespect for years, and not once did he give either back. Maria couldn’t deny that he was probably a standup guy, and for that reason alone was she willing to explain her plight to him.
As they waited for his room to be free, they sat next to each other in silence, and Maria was appreciative of that. She wasn’t in the mood for small talk with what she was soon about to share. But she did want to ask…
“Why are you here?” Jax sat his phone on the bar and looked at her. “It’s plenty of bars, pool halls, and arcades you could go to. Why come to mine?”
Jax smiled with one side of his mouth softly. “None of them are like yours. Plus…” He shrugged and looked at the TV in the center of the bar. “I come here to support you.”
“Why? I’m a bitch to you every time I see you.”
“That ain’t really you,” was all he offered, and Maria wouldn’t dare ask him to elaborate.