Goodbye Paradise
Page 23
Naturally, I kept sneaking looks at Josh. The TV movie we were watching simply could not compete. My gaze lingered over his square shoulders, and the little V of skin above the buttons of his flannel shirt. I wanted to unbutton it a little further, and then put my lips right there.
“What?” he asked me finally, after he’d caught me staring for the third time.
“Nothing. I just like you.”
He grunted, giving Willy a pacifier to chew on. The baby took it, her big eyes trained upward on his face. The babies of Runaway Dairy saw a lot of that view — Josh’s strong jaw, and peaceful blue eyes.
“Josh?” I asked suddenly.
“Yeah?”
“Are you going to want kids someday?”
He looked at me with genuine surprise. “What do you mean? I’m up to my ears in kids.”
It was true, too. Maggie’s belly got bigger each and every day. One day I’d heard Josh and Maggie doing the math on how many continuous months of diaper-wearing the family would tally up before it was through. It was not a small number.
“I mean kids of our own.” I’d been wondering if that would be important to Josh. And after seeing how much diapers cost, I’d tried to imagine how we could swing it.
“Um, Caleb? You know we can’t impregnate each other, right?”
I chuckled. “It would have happened already, I suppose.” Since moving into our apartment, we’d had so much sex. It was like we were trying to make up for years of abstinence these last three months. “People adopt, though. I just want to know if that’s something I should be ready for.”
He looked down at the top of Willy’s fuzzy little head and frowned. “But I have kids. Two of them, and one on the way.” He looked up again. “Do you want kids?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer that. “It’s not on the top of my list. But if you wanted them, I’d listen.”
Across the sofa, he smiled at me. “Actually, I’m happy renting. I don’t need to hold title, Caleb.”
Aw. I reached over and squeezed his knee. “Good. That works for me.”
“It’s nice of you to ask, though. I like to hear your wheels turning.”
My hand was still on his knee, and I liked it there. “My wheels are always turning, baby. I try to stay a step ahead of you. But it isn’t easy.”
He yawned. “It gets easier this time of night.”
“You’re tired? That’s a shame, because I had some plans for you later.”
Josh glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. “I could rally. We get to sleep in tomorrow, you know. Nobody will bother us on our wedding day.”
“I’m counting on it.”
“Me too.” I slid my hand further up his leg, my fingers brushing his inner thigh.
“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” he asked suddenly.
“No,” I said right away. “But I don’t like being the center of attention.”
Josh nudged me with his knee. “This was your idea.”
“I know,” I chuckled. “But I love you so much more than I love reciting vows in front of people.”
“There will only be, like, ten people,” Josh said.
“True.”
He looked down at the baby in his arms. “Willy,” he said quietly. “Let’s get you that bottle. I could swear you were looking sleepy.”
“That’s the spirit.”
He got up off the couch and then leaned over me, depositing Willy in my lap. Then he quickly left the room.
“Wait!” I protested. But it was too late. I could hear him opening the refrigerator, looking for the bottle.
Willy looked up at me, a question in her eyes. You don’t have a clue about babies, do you, buddy?
“Sorry,” I whispered. “You’re just going to have to put up with me for a minute.” I picked her up a little higher, and she rubbed one of her drooly little hands on my wrist. “You won’t have Josh to kick around for a few days, you know,” I whispered. “Be good to your mommy while we’re gone.”
In reply, Willy made a gassy smile.
I’d booked three nights at a hotel in Miami Beach, Florida. It would be our first vacation ever, and I couldn’t wait. The pictures on the hotel’s website showed couples lazing in hammocks, or sipping cocktails beside the pool.
Also? Miami Beach was supposed to be one of the gayest vacation spots in America. And Caleb and I had never seen the ocean yet. There was just so much to look forward to.
Josh came back into the room, scooping Willy up again and settling in to feed her. It made my heart swell to see him calmly tuck her into the crook of his arm, and slip the nipple between her tiny lips.
How did I end up with someone so caring and beautiful? It boggled the mind.
“I love you, Josh.”
“That’s just the horny talking,” he said, without looking up.
“Not true,” I promised, and he grinned.
Thirty
AS WEDDING DAYS GO, ours was pretty relaxed.
Josh and I slept in on Saturday, and then made ourselves scrambled eggs and bacon for brunch. We took turns showering and shaving.
Then it was time to suit up. We both had new clothes for the wedding — matching navy blue suits and white dress shirts. Maggie had bought us each a red silk tie with tiny white hearts. “You’re getting married on Valentine’s day,” she said. “There have to be hearts.”
I hoped the guys from the garage wouldn’t give me a hard time. Much.
I’d never owned anything as fine as these clothes, and since they weren’t overly fancy, I could wear the suit again sometime.
At three-thirty, we got into our car and drove together to the tavern, where an Episcopal priest was waiting to marry us. Maggie took care of all the planning for our wedding. “It’s my wedding gift to you.”
And as soon as we walked into the little private room at Ralph’s Tavern, we could see that she’d done a great job. On a table off to the side stood a small white wedding cake, with Josh & Caleb swirled onto the top. There was one long table set for fifteen people, including two high chairs.
I counted in my head. Five adults and two babies from our house, three from the garage, plus Maggie’s catering partner and gay Trey. That was twelve. The pastor made thirteen. “Who are the last two seats for?”
Maggie just grinned at me. “Let’s go over the menu?”
“Do I have to? If it’s food, I’ll eat it.”
She rolled her eyes. “Men. If it weren’t for women, the wedding industry would crumble to the ground.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
She tackled me in a hug. “I love you, Caleb. And I’m so happy for you today, I could burst.”
I felt a sudden prickle of heat in the corners of my eyes. Oh, hell no. I was not going to cry today. With a deep breath, I pushed that swell of emotion away. “Thank you, Maggie. I’m pretty happy, too.”
Across the room, Josh was holding Willy, trying not to let her drool on his tie, while Maggie’s business partner was adjusting a spray of flowers on the cake table. And Daniel was chatting with Trey, who had come in a minute ago.
Then the priest walked in. When I met her last week, I would never have known she was a cleric, but for the stiff black and white collar projecting from the neckline of her dress.
She was not at all what I expected. I’d not seen the inside of a church since we left the Compound, but the pastors of my youth were dour old men. This one was a smartly dressed, silver-haired woman with sharp blue eyes. She came right over and laid a hand on my arm. “Congratulations, Caleb. I’m very happy to do the honor of marrying you today.”
I swallowed hard. Maybe if everyone stopped saying such nice things to me, I could keep myself in check. “Thank you. We appreciate you doing this for us.”
She gave my arm a little squeeze. “This is the best part of my job. And it’s really special to marry two people who have known each other all their lives.”
“I’ve never spent a day without Josh,” I sai
d truthfully. “Never wanted to.”
Her blue eyes glittered. “I guess I won’t waste any time asking if you’re sure about him, then.”
“There’d be no point,” I agreed.
She grinned. “We can get started whenever you wish.”
I looked toward the doorway as three guys from my garage walked in — Joe, Danny and Jakobitz. “Thanks for coming,” I said, shaking hands. “I feel kind of guilty getting you guys into collared shirts on a Saturday. But there will be beer and barbecued ribs.”
“We wouldn’t miss it,” Joe chuckled. “I’ve never been to an all-guy wedding before. It never occurred to me that the food would be better.”
“Right?” I agreed. “And nobody will mind if you check the basketball scores later.”
“I’ve got money on the Louisville game,” Danny said, shedding his coat.
I laughed. “Of course you do.” Looking around, I saw the pastor waiting in front, her hands folded before her.
Josh met my eyes, and there was a flicker of bashfulness in his expression. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who was uncomfortable with ritual.
I gave him a brave smile. Let’s just go for it, I tried to telegraph.
He grinned back at me, and the warmth of his smile was really all I needed to get through this.
I turned to find Maggie in the doorway. “Are you ready?” I asked her.
“Nope,” she said quickly. “We’re waiting for someone, but I think that’s him walking through the front door right now.”
A quick scan of the room confused me. We were all here already, at least by my count.
But seconds later, a familiar face walked into the room, one that I hadn’t seen for over a year. “Washington!” I barked with surprise.
He gave me a toothy smile. “Looking sharp, boy!”
I was speechless for a second. But he came over to shake my hand, and his firm grip shook me out of my silence. “It’s really good to see you. Didn’t know you were coming.”
“Told Maggie I wanted to surprise you.” He turned around as a pretty dark-skinned lady in a polka-dot dress came into the room. “This is Brenda,” he said. “My love, meet Caleb, that troublemaker I’m always telling you about.”
“Wow,” Josh said at my elbow. He looked as speechless as I’d been. “You’re here?”
Brenda laughed. “He said, ‘honey, we’re going to go to a wedding next weekend. There’s two boys I need you to meet.’”
Maggie put a hand on my shoulder. “Aw. Let’s go, boys. Time to tie the knot.”
“Go on,” Washington said, putting an arm around his wife. “It ain’t every day that I see two runaways get married.”
Josh tugged my hand, and together we made our way over to the pastor. She smiled at us. “Are you nervous?”
I glanced at Josh. “Being married doesn’t scare me. Getting married is a little weird.”
Everyone laughed, including the pastor. “It only takes a few minutes, and it won’t hurt a bit.” She turned toward our little crowd of supporters. “Friends and family who have meant so much to Caleb and Josh this past year, we are gathered here today to celebrate a holy joining of hearts and spirits. Two men who have always been there for one another will declare their union before God and the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.”
I’d pasted a rather stiff smile onto my face, because I didn’t like being the center of attention.
“Before I read the wedding vows, Maggie wants to say something.”
Maggie handed Chloe to Daniel and faced our small circle of friends. “It was fifteen months ago when I got a phone call out of the blue from Caleb, telling me he’d run away from the Compound with Josh. And my reaction was — finally! I’d been waiting for someone from my old life to come and find me. There’s so much more to life than obedience and subservience. My own journey from that wretched place to where I am now was not easy. But I’m so glad I did it. And I’m so happy to have Caleb and Josh and Miriam to share it with.”
Maggie swallowed hard, and her eyes glittered. “Josh and Caleb, it was brave of you to start a new life. Don’t ever stop being brave. I know it’s hard to stand here and declare your love in public. You aren’t used to being accepted for who you are. But what you are is strong. And beautiful. I just want you to know how proud I am to know you.”
Cecilia gave a little whoop, and everyone clapped.
I didn’t hear much of the prayer that the pastor recited next, because I was watching Josh. He was stealing looks at all the people in the room, his eyes full of wonder. It calmed me to look at him. Because this was the view I was going to have all my life, now. And it was an excellent one.
“I, Joshua,” the pastor began reciting Josh’s vow, “take you, Caleb, to be my partner and husband.”
“I, Joshua…” He continued to repeat the words she gave him.
“…To be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health… In times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph… I promise to cherish and respect you, to care for and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity.”
Well, hell. Those were beautiful words. And I wanted to do all those things, too. And now Josh was saying the same, repeating the vows in a clear and steady voice.
And I was so, so not worthy.
“I, Caleb,” the pastor turned to me. “Take you, Josh to be my partner and husband.”
My throat was dry like a desert. “I, Caleb…” I pushed forward. “Take you, Josh to be my friend and husband.” My eyes were hot, too. This didn’t bode well.
The pastor gave me the next lines, and I muddled through. Until “…to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity.”
I opened my mouth to repeat those last dozen words. But I made a crucial error, and that was looking straight into Josh’s gaze to deliver them. Looking back at me were the steady blue eyes I’d been admiring my whole life. And his handsome face was tilted up toward mine, as if I’d hung the moon. The intensity of all that love just stopped me in my tracks.
There was a silence, because I forgot what I was supposed to say.
Our pastor tried to bail me out. “To comfort and encourage,” she prompted. “And to stay with you for all eternity.”
My voice broke as I repeated it. And a big fat tear ran down my cheek. Christ on a cracker, as Maggie would say. I was crying at my own wedding.
Josh’s eyes became round with empathy. But then his lips quirked into a tiny smile. And I freaking loved that smile. So I focused on the sexy curve of his lips. And that was distracting enough that I bucked up a little and held myself together.
The pastor asked Josh if I took him to be my lawfully wedded husband. “I do,” he said calmly.
She asked the same of me. “I absolutely do,” I said, sounding only a little bit wobbly.
The pastor beamed at both of us. “By the power vested in me by the Commonwealth, I congratulate you on your marriage.”
There was a round of applause, while Josh gave me a shy smile.
“Kiss him already,” Miriam cried.
I laughed, feeling terribly self-conscious. Josh and I did not do PDA at all.
Who knew that Josh would be the first one to shake off our lifelong hangups? He stepped into my space, grabbed my chin in one hand, and planted a kiss on my lips.
And the world did not end. Not at all. The cheering only grew louder.
Not to be outdone, I slipped my arms around his waist and pulled him in. I made it a real kiss. As he always did, Josh tasted like everything I’d always wanted.
Kissing him in front of everyone we knew? It was as easy as rolling off a log.
When I finally stepped back, breaking off the kiss, Josh’s face was pink. But he looked as happy as I’d ever seen him. “You survived it,” he said, smiling.
“I certainly did,” I agreed. He might have meant the wedding. But I meant everything that had led me
to this moment.
I survived it. And he was the reason why.
“Now you can have ribs and beer, and then take me to Florida,” Josh gave me a nudge toward the family who were waiting to congratulate us.
“I can’t wait,” I agreed.
* * *
The
End
* * *
Don’t miss the next book, HELLO FOREVER. Want to read a description? You can find it here.
* * *
Looking for more Male/Male romance?
The Understatement of the Year
HIM by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy
US by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy
Also by Sarina Bowen
Looking for more Male/Male romance?
The Understatement of the Year
HIM by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy
US by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy
* * *
Other Sarina Bowen titles:
TRUE NORTH
Bittersweet (True North #1)
Steadfast (True North #2)
Keepsake (True North #3)
* * *
THE IVY YEARS
The Year We Fell Down #1
The Year We Hid Away #2
Blonde Date #2.5
The Understatement of the Year #3
The Shameless Hour #4
The Fifteenth Minute #5
* * *
GRAVITY
Coming In From the Cold #1
Falling From the Sky #2
Shooting for the Stars #3
* * *
THE BROOKLYN BRUISERS
Rookie Move (#1)
Hard Hitter (#2)
Pipe Dreams (#3)
Copyright © 2015 and 2017 by Sarina Bowen
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.