An Uncivilized Romance

by Elliee Atkinson

  He lifted the lid slowly, as if he really didn’t want to see what was in it. He didn’t let the lid slam back. He set it back purposefully and stared at the contents as if he had not seen it in many years. Sarah figured he probably hadn’t.

  He fingered the dresses first and then pulled out the top one. “She liked to wear my britches sometimes, so she sewed some to fit herself. You can wear them if you like. It frees up your movement. I wouldn’t recommend trying them until your knee is better though. It might be better to wear a dress until it’s better. Otherwise, it might brush against your wound and hurt a lot.”

  “I think so, too.” Sarah nodded. She twisted her body so that she could see into the trunk. There were more than just dresses in it. There was a small hand mirror, a brush and comb, some hair barrettes, and bands to hold it in a bun or tail. She wondered about Rachel but was afraid she would touch on a subject that Mike didn’t want to talk about. She could see how much he loved her. And he’d told her she’d died from a snake bite. What more did she really need to know?

  It didn’t stop her curiosity. She wondered if he was a scruffy mountain man and looked like this before Rachel had died or if he’d let himself go since then. She colored when he looked over at her and caught her staring at him. She dropped her eyes to the contents of the trunk and admired them.

  “These are beautiful dresses. Thank you for allowing me to use them. I know they must mean a great deal to you.” She wanted to go further but hoped that he would take it from there and give her some more information about his late wife. He didn’t. He just nodded.

  He stood up. “You go ahead and look through it. If you need any help, I’ll be back in a few minutes to check on you.”

  “All right. Thank you, Mike.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  She watched him walk out. After a moment, she began to pick through the dresses, feeling the fabric and admiring the sewing work. She found three pairs of britches and was amazed by the styling Rachel had created. Her hips must have been round and her waist small. They were brought tight at the ankles as well and were definitely not created for a man to wear. Especially not one as large and masculine as Mike. She laid all the clothes out around her so that she could admire each piece separately. She took out the hand mirror and comb. At first, she dreaded looking at herself to see how much damage had been done to her face.

  When she got the courage, she lifted the mirror and peeked through one eye at first, then opened them both. She didn’t look any different than she had before. She lifted one hand to gently touch the scab at her hairline. She winced when she touched it. At least it was no longer bleeding. It was a long cut, going up into her hair across her scalp but it didn’t look to be very deep. If it had been, it was healing nicely.

  She picked up the comb but was unable to bend her elbow enough to do a decent job brushing it through her hair. She rested the mirror on her lap, realizing she couldn’t hold it against her propped up legs because her knee wouldn’t bend. Giving up, she used her left arm to pull the comb through her hair. She only hoped it would look okay when she was done. She needed a bath desperately but it wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Not with her knee the way it was.

  She thought about it for a moment and decided that she could, in fact, take a bath, if she left her knee outside of it and just used a cloth to wash and rinse her leg. She vowed to ask Mike about it as soon as she saw him again. She picked up the mirror again and looked at her hair from different angles. It was not much better. She sighed. Why was she concerned about vanity anyway? The only person to see her had seen her at her worst. It was doubtful he would see her as beautiful after the mess he’d been introduced to.

  “Sarah,” she shook her head, chastising herself gently. “What on earth are you thinking? This man is a hermit and wants to live alone. He isn’t going to want a woman suddenly in his life to take care of. Especially a stranger he has never met.”

  She pulled in a deep, cleansing breath. So far, Mike had taken great care of her, fixing a healing salve, bandaging her wounds, providing food, shelter, and even clothing. What more could she possibly ask of him?

  She felt guilty, having imposed on the freedom of this mountain man. She didn’t want to return to Wickenburg but when she was healthy and able, she would need to. He probably didn’t want another person living in his cabin with him. He probably enjoyed being alone and without the obligation of answering to someone else.

  She rummaged through the bottom of the trunk, where there were several pieces of paper, some cloth napkins and handkerchiefs and other odds and ends caught her attention for a moment. Her hand rested on a stack of papers neatly held together with a small string binding them on one side. It was a carefully stitched together book. She pulled it out and read the front cover.

  It said My Days with Michael in a right-slanting handwriting. She blinked, feeling chills covering her arms. It had to be a diary. She stared at it for some time before resting it down on her lap. These were private thoughts, probably meant for no one to see other than Rachel and God. She wanted to open it and read it, but she felt guilty for the desire. It felt like an invasion of privacy. Was it right? Should she ask Mike for permission? Should she even mention it? He had packed the trunk. He had to know it was in there.

  She bit her bottom lip, her curiosity burning bright inside her. She wanted to know what Mike was like, from the perspective of the woman he had obviously loved more dearly than anyone else. This woman had captured his heart.

  Sarah stared at the book in her lap for a long time, wanting to open it and read but not wanting to at the same time. She jumped and pulled the blanket over it when Mike came back in, carrying a load of wood. A swift breeze came in with him, blowing over her and making her shiver.

  “Oh my,” she said. “It’s getting cold out there.”

  Mike nodded, dropping the firewood in a metal basket beside the fireplace. “Yes, winter is on its way. It seems the weather was cooperating with you, just waiting till you were sheltered before it decided to turn.”

  “That was kind of Mother Nature,” she responded, pulling the blanket up further to cover her arms.

  “I’ve got a big coat you can use if it gets very cold.”

  He sat back on his haunches, preparing a fire with small sticks, leaves, and branches. He was strangely quiet. Sarah watched him, wondering if he knew she had found the book and was upset with her. She put her hand under the blanket and touched the book, ready to bring it out in the open and confess. She hadn’t read a word, she would tell him, because it was the truth.

  He tossed a few larger branches on the fire and proceeded to light it with a small tinderbox. It didn’t take long before a roaring fire broke the chill in the room and Sarah began to warm up.

  “Night is coming,” Mike said, sitting back and resting his folded arms on his upright knees. He looked at her. “I usually take a bath on Monday nights. Would you like to take one? I mean, not with me. I mean, I can make one for you, as well. I…” Again the big mountain man blushed furiously and Sarah felt her heart melt for him. She smiled at him.

  “I know what you meant. And yes, I think a bath would do me some good.”

  “I usually bathe outside because there is never anyone around. I know you do not want to do that. I will bring the washtub inside and put it in my room so you can have privacy.”

  “I may need help anyway. I can’t get around well. But I will keep my underclothes on until you leave the room. We can work it out.”

  “Yes.” He looked directly at her. “We can work it out.”

  “You are not used to having anyone else in your home. I understand you have your own ways of doing things. It may take some time to adjust to having me here. But I hope that I have not been too much of an intrusion on you.”

  He shook his head slowly. “You are right that I have become used to being alone. To be perfectly frank with you, I had forgotten you were here while I was gathering wood and was surprised to see you o
n the couch when I came in. I am sorry…”

  “Don’t be.” Sarah was beginning to feel bad for him. She couldn’t tell whether he preferred to be alone or it was a lonely existence he hadn’t chosen for himself. “I did not intend to intrude.”

  “Of course you didn’t,” Mike replied. “I would never say that you did. No woman would try to be treated the way you’ve been treated.”

  “I’m sure I wasn’t the perfect wife. I just…”

  “Don’t you do that,” Mike leaned toward her, his eyes focused directly on hers. “Don’t bring this back on yourself. You did nothing to deserve to be thrown down a ravine.”

  Sarah thought about her baby, wondering if she could still count on it being born alive. She would know in time. If her belly began to swell and she felt it moving, she would know it was okay. All she wanted was to know, and it was going to be a long time before she got her answers.

  She pulled her hand out from under the blanket, leaving the book under the cover. She looked at the flames as they began to rise and dance in the fireplace. Mike looked at her for a few more minutes before turning his head and looking at the fire with her. They were quiet, each thinking their own thoughts.

  Sarah wanted him to talk. She wanted to talk to him. However, it seemed in that moment, the best thing to do was to stay silent. She wondered what he was thinking about. Was he thinking about his wife? She looked around at the clothes she had spread all around her and was embarrassed. She hadn’t put any of them back in the trunk where they belonged.

  Quietly, she began to fold them back up, choosing one dress and some underclothes to leave out and wear after her bath. She packed the clothes back in the trunk neatly, replacing the comb, brush, and hand mirror, along with a small wooden carved kitten she had placed on the window sill beside her.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  MIKE FIXES A BATH

  MIKE FIXES A BATH

  The bath was warm and cozy. Mike’s cabin had a fireplace in both the bedroom and the front room. While they waited for the water to heat on his cast iron stove, he gave her a quick tour. There was only the front room, his bedroom, and one other room that he said he built in case he and Rachel ever had children. Instinctively, Sarah put one hand over her belly but removed it quickly so that he wouldn’t ask questions. She wasn’t ready to tell him she was pregnant. He might try to take her back to Jason faster, simply because the father had the right to know his child. She wasn’t exactly sure what Mike would think, say or do, but she was afraid to take a chance on it until she knew him a little better.

  The second room also had a fireplace but it was still a work in progress, with several holes in the walls that needed to be fixed and no glass in the window.

  “This must be why I keep feeling a cool breeze,” she said.

  He shook his head. “That’s unlikely. The house is solid otherwise, so you should not feel anything in the other room. If there is a cold breeze coming through, I’m going to have to check for issues in the walls. During the winter, I hang heavy drapes around the house to provide some extra insulation against the outside weather. I take a lot of precautions because Rachel was easily chilled.”

  “I am the same way,” Sarah said without thinking. She instantly regretted it, not wanting to remind him any more of Rachel than she apparently already did.

  “I do not doubt that,” was all Mike said, nodding. He looked around the unfinished room for a moment more before closing the door. He opened his bedroom door next and, with his arm around her waist, leaned in.

  “Did you build that bed yourself?” She was astounded. It was the largest bed she’d seen in a long time, made from solid, deep colored wood, the headboard sculpted into angel wings, the footboard sculpted to look like two large trumpets. She wondered what filled the large mattress and how he had managed to sew it up.

  “I did, with some help from Rachel. I did the sculpting. She made the mattress. It is extremely comfortable. I will let you sleep on it, if you like.”

  Sarah smiled at him. “I would never dare to take away your comfortable bed, Mike! That would be a very mean thing to do.”

  “You can use it until you feel better, how about that?”

  She shook her head. “I couldn’t even think of it.”

  “I insist. You need it. You need to be comfortable. I will sleep on the couch until you are ready to go back to town.”

  The mention of town made her cringe unwillingly. He noticed but said nothing.

  “I will use it for now. But the moment I am feeling better, you must return to what’s rightfully yours.”

  “Maybe I’ll just go ahead and build a new bed. One for you to use whenever you… feel like visiting. You will visit me, won’t you?”

  Sarah nodded, giving him another bright smile all the while thinking she didn’t want to leave in the first place. “I will definitely visit.” She wanted to end the sentence with “if I ever leave” but stayed quiet.

  He pushed her gently, encouraging her to go to the bed. “How about you stay right here and enjoy the bed while I finish making the bath? I still have to bring the tub in here.”

  “Are you sure you want to bring it in here?”

  “I suppose it’s about time I stop being a wild man and start thinking like a civilized person again,” Mike laughed. “I never thought I’d find a reason to but you have given me one, young lady.”

  Sarah sat on the bed and felt the soft mattress with her hands. It was somewhat firm and she wondered again what it was stuffed with. He helped her lift her leg up onto the mattress and she scooted over, sinking into it with a sigh. She gave him a bright smile. “Why do you call me young lady? I can’t be much younger than you.”

  “How old are you? 19? 20?”

  Sarah laughed. “Oh, no, I’m fully 27, Mike. But thank you!”

  He lifted his eyebrows. “You are 27? Well, I can still call you young lady because you are younger than me.”

  “Oh? I’m sure not by much, though. I can’t imagine you are older than 30, maybe early thirties?”

  He looked even more surprised. “You see youth through all of this?” He scratched his hand through his beard and the long hair on his head.

  “Tell me your age,” Sarah insisted, teasing him. “I told you mine.”

  He laughed. “All right then, yes, I’m 33 years old. You have a good eye. So you’re still younger than me and I can call you young lady. But if you prefer woman, I can call you that. Or, maybe I’ll just call you Sarah.”

  They both laughed at that. She was reminded how she felt when he called her woman and how different it was from when Jason said it to her. She didn’t mind it. She wanted to tell him he could call her anything he wanted to but she refrained. “I am a little surprised that you have grown your beard out during the summertime,” she mentioned. “It would seem to me it might be a little hot for such a full beard. Though I have no problem with it,” she hurried to add when a strange look came over his face. “I just think it is a little strange to be hotter than need be.”

  “I haven’t shaved since Rachel died,” he said, sitting on the side of the bed next to her. “I haven’t really thought about it. No one to please, you know. And it is a bit hot during the summertime but it’s cooler up here on the mountain than it is down there in town. I’ll shave it if you are uncomfortable with my scruffy appearance.”

  Sarah giggled. “Please don’t go further out of your way for me! If you want to keep it, keep it. It doesn’t bother me. Besides, it is coming up on winter and you will need the warmth it gives.”

  Mike didn’t respond. She watched the look on his face as he contemplated what he wanted to do. She couldn’t help grinning at his reaction.

  “You better hurry with the water or I’m going to fall asleep in this very comfortable bed of yours.” She giggled and patted him on the arm, the first affectionate touch she had given him since he saved her.

  He chuckled and stood up. “The water is probably too hot to use now. I’ll have to mix
it with cool water just so you can get in.”

  Sarah laughed as he left the room. Soon he was back, hefting a large bath tub through the doorway. It barely fit through but soon he was setting it on the floor just beyond the foot of the bed.

  “This room has a lot more space than I thought it would from the outside.”

  He nodded. “It’s a big cabin. It fools you from the outside, doesn’t it?”

  “It sure does.”

  “Let me get the water. I’ll fill it up and test it for you to make sure you don’t scald yourself. I don’t want the water getting cold too quickly either, so I’ll build a fire under it.”

  Sarah’s eyes opened wide. “You’ll do what?”

  He grinned. “I’m joking. I’m not going to build a fire under the tub. You might think I’m going to boil you. I wouldn’t do that. I’ll put some new water on the stove to heat up so if your water gets cool, let me know. Cover yourself with a towel and I will bring in the new water for you. Let me build this fire here too, so the room doesn’t cool off.”

  She watched him as he moved about the room, her eyes closing several times as she relaxed. The pain from her wounds still pulsed through her body, but somehow being in the cabin and feeling safe made it easier on her. She let her mind wander, hoping the peace she was now feeling, despite the pain, would transfer to her baby and heal it, if it was not well. She tried to think logically. The baby was so very small at that point. She had no idea how big it was, but it couldn’t have been too big after less than three months. She was not bleeding down there, so she thought maybe things would be all right. The doctor had told her that if she did start bleeding there, it would be a bad sign.

  With her eyes closed, in the middle of her thoughts, she smiled, thinking that it was practically the only place on her body from which she was not bleeding.

  Finally, Mike was satisfied with the room, the bathtub, and the fire. He left two folded towels on the edge of the bed and looked at her with sympathetic eyes. “I want to help you but I think you better just let me know if you need me. Will you be able to get your… clothes off without my help?”