An Uncivilized Romance

by Elliee Atkinson

  Mike gasped in mocking exasperation. “Well, now I’m of a mind to let you go chop some wood.”

  She made to get up again and he stopped her with a laugh and a hand on her shoulder. “No. No, you sit here and relax. There’s no way I’m going to let you go chop wood in your condition.”

  “Many women have done more when they are not very far along. I have at least five or six months to go. I can’t sit around for five or six months.”

  “You can if you need to. If you do too much, you will be risking your health and all the progress you’ve made.”

  “My knee is nearly healed up completely. My arm and head and all the cuts and bruises are gone. I’m healthy, Mike! I really am!”

  “But you are with child and that makes you special. I can’t have you catching any viruses. You need to be healthy and able.”

  “All right, Mike. I’ll do what you want.” Sarah hadn’t wanted to chop wood anyway. She was tired. She stayed tired.

  “That’s my girl. Now what do you say to coming inside and refreshing your coffee? We’ll sit by the fireplace and talk.”

  “I like the sound of that,” as soon as she stood up, she realized she had forgotten the book was sitting in her lap. It fell to the floor, the first page flopping open and the next few curling over. She hurried to pick it up, her cheeks flushing, her eyes looking shamefully up at Mike.

  The look on his face had changed from one of humor and lightheartedness to confusion and then sadness. Before she could say anything, he held out his hand and she handed the book over to him. Her heart was thumping hard with anticipation of his anger, the first time she would experience it.

  Mike looked down at the book, running one finger over the yarn that bound it together. “Where did you find this?” he asked.

  “It was in one of Rachel’s trunks. It’s a diary of sorts. A journal.”

  Mike nodded. “I know what it is, Sarah. I remember watching her writing in it, slaving like a child over the kitchen table. She had trouble writing.”

  “Did she? Her handwriting is so neat and precise. I wouldn’t have suspected she found it difficult to do.”

  “She would sit at the table and slowly write, cursing every time she missed the spelling of a word or made any mistakes. She was relentless, trying to make it perfect, and every time she fell short, she was angry at herself. Have you been reading it? Can you tell?”

  “I have been looking through it. I did not see any anger or frustration.”

  Mike spoke quietly. “She always said she wanted to leave something for her children after she was gone. She said giving them her thoughts and her heart was the most precious thing she could think of, since money was not to be found.”

  “That is so special, Mike. How wonderful. I hope you are not offended that I began reading it. I didn’t get far. I can stop now if you prefer.”

  Mike shook his head before handing the book back to Sarah. “It would hurt me if you were not interested in her words, Sarah. You never know. She might give you some insight on how to deal with a cranky ol’ man like myself.”

  Sarah chuckled. “She does not describe you that way, Mike. She says you are many things, but a bad man is not one of them.”

  “Were those her exact words?” Mike sounded a little amazed.

  “I was paraphrasing. But I can show you where-“

  “No, thank you.” Mike shook his head, pushing the book back to her. “You keep reading it. Maybe it will be a comfort to you.”

  “She does sound like a lovely and sweet woman, Mike. I’m so sorry you lost her.”

  “Well, as they say, when a door closes, another opens, no matter how long it takes. Do you hear me?”

  She nodded. “I do hear you. Okay, I will continue reading it. Thank you, Mike. It is very kind of you to allow me the privilege of reading Rachel’s words.”

  He just nodded at her. He went into the house, Buddy on his heels. Sarah followed him, clutching the book to her chest and picking up the blanket from the swing before going in.

  He went directly to the fireplace and threw a few logs on it to boost it back up. The cabin had become somewhat chilly and without the large blanket around her, Sarah thought it was a lot cooler than it actually was.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  THE RETURN OF EVIL

  THE RETURN OF EVIL

  A week later, Sarah woke from a nap on the couch to see that Mike was not in the cabin. She pushed herself from a prone position to a sitting position and then used both hands to lift herself from the couch. She no longer felt pain when she stood up on both legs, but she had started to gain weight and was not used to feeling heavy.

  It was still very cold outside and Mike had mentioned there might be another storm on the way. She hoped not. She had noticed what Mike had to do to keep the cabin warm and it was a lot of work. He said it was easier to stock his meat because the outside weather was cold enough to freeze it for several days at a time. That, in Sarah’s estimation, was the only good thing about a winter on Windy Gap Mountain. Otherwise, it was a great struggle.

  She went into the kitchen and leaned over the counter to put a small pot under the water pump. She filled it about halfway and set it on the stove. Mike had a stove that was a little newer than the one she and her mother had been using, but it still lit the same way. She lit the fire underneath and closed the small door.

  While she waited for the pot of water to heat up, she went back to the fireplace and threw three more logs in it. She leaned over to blow on it and heat the embers at the bottom to catch the logs on fire sooner. When she bent over, she felt a little dizzy and put out one hand to steady herself on the fireplace mantle.

  She heard crunching sounds outside the cabin and went to the door to let Mike in. She glanced through the window as she went to the door and stopped in her tracks. Her eyebrows drew together in fear and confusion. Jason was on a horse, heading toward the cabin slowly. She could see him looking all around, a look on his face as if he had never seen the cabin before and didn’t know how it got there.

  Sarah’s heart leapt into her throat and she felt her knees getting weak. There was no way she was going to let that evil man into her new home. She hurried to the door and slid the long block into place, essentially locking Jason out. She turned around and slid slowly down the door, hoping if Jason looked through the windows, he would not be able to see her.

  She looked all around the room, trying to find a spot where she could hide and not be seen from anywhere outside the cabin, through any of the windows.

  Her fear was making her sick to her stomach. She felt like she was going to vomit and stood up to get closer to the sink. When she was in front of it, she knelt down and held on to the side of the counter with her fingertips, scared that he would look in the window and see her.

  She listened as he dismounted his horse, calling out to see if anyone was home.

  “Hello?” She heard his familiar deep voice ring out. “Anyone here?” He said a few more words under his breath that she couldn’t hear. She heard his boots crunching over the snow as he walked to the porch. She turned around, pushing one hand against her mouth and holding her breath. She pressed against the counter behind her as if she could melt into it and he wouldn’t see her if he came busting through the door.

  She prayed for help, calling out to Mike in her mind to hurry up and come back.

  She nearly jumped out of her skin when he banged on the door with his fist.

  “Somebody in there?” He called out. “Come to the door!”

  He tried the doorknob. Sarah’s wide eyes watched the knob wiggle back and forth. She fought the tears that rose to her eyes. If he came in and saw her, he would surely kill her. How had he found her? Was he looking for her? Had he come out to find out what happened to her? To possibly find her body underneath all the snow?

  She pressed her eyelids together, her hand still covering her mouth. She heard him walk away from the door and approach the window in front of the counter. Sh
e wished she could disappear in the floorboards. He stopped at the window. He had to be looking in. She wondered if he could see her crouched down on the other side of the large basin of water Mike kept there. She doubted it. He didn’t call out to her, so she assumed he hadn’t seen her. As he made his way off the porch and around the side of the cabin to another window, she dashed into the bedroom and slipped through quietly, closing the door so that there was just a tiny crack she could peek through.

  Jason stopped at the window and cupped his hands around his eyes so he could look in.

  “Anybody here?” he yelled out. His face looked angry. She wondered why he would be angry. Did he expect her to be here? He wasn’t calling her name.

  Her heartbeat did not slow down. She realized that there were items in the front room that showed a woman was living there, that two people were living there. She watched his face as he scanned the items in the front room.

  “Maybe he always looks angry,” she whispered. “And you just don’t remember it. Maybe he’s just permanently angry.”

  The thought made her feel a bit giddy and she wondered if she was losing her mind.

  “I’m searching for someone!” Jason called through the window glass. “I just want to know if you’ve seen her.”

  He waited a few more minutes before shaking his head and moving back toward the front of the house. She came out of the bedroom and stepped cautiously back toward the front window, crouching down once more, and looking over the counter just enough to see him walking around on the porch. He picked up the blanket she had left outside on the porch swing for a moment and then dropped it back, looking away. He stepped past the window and went to the edge of the porch to stand and stare out over the land. She could hear him grumbling to himself, something about knowing someone was living there but they must not be home because they would have heard him calling. He wondered where the occupants of the cabin might have gone.

  “Please go away, please go away,” Sarah whispered. “Please go away.”

  He stepped down to the ground and walked to the hand plow sitting near the front porch. He touched the edge of it and looked up at the shed where the wind mill was. He narrowed his eyes and went toward the porch.

  Sarah was angry immediately, suspecting that Jason was going to steal something from the shed. He had no regard for anyone else’s property or well-being. She would not be surprised if she saw him carrying out a bag of flour or nuts or a basket of apples. She would not have cared as much if those things weren’t Mike’s property. He had worked hard for everything he had. He didn’t deserve to have anything stolen from him.

  She dared to stand up and lean over so she could see him at the shed. She prayed he would not turn around and spot her. If he did, there was no telling what he would do to get his hands on her.

  She put her own hands protectively over her belly.

  Jason put his hand on the door of the shed and pushed. It didn’t immediately come open so he pushed harder with one hand on the handle. It opened and he went inside.

  Sarah leaned back, looking down into the swirling water in the basin. She heard more sounds and looked out the window. Jason was coming out of the shed. He was empty handed and she breathed a sigh of relief before panicking that he might see her. She moved back and watched him walk around on the property, scanning the area. He was walking back to his horse.

  Her heart was pounding in her chest as she moved to the side so that if he looked over, he wouldn’t see her standing there. She could see him clearly when he stopped and looked back at the house. She hadn’t made any noises, so she didn’t know what had attracted his attention.

  “Go away,” she whispered. “Go away. Oh, where are you, Mike? Where are you?”

  She moved away from the window, deciding it wasn’t worth knowing where he was if there was a chance he would see her. She went to the door and pressed her ear up against it to listen for his footsteps. She was hoping to hear him get up on his horse. The next sound she wanted to hear was his horse taking him away from her new home.

  She knew at that moment that she did not want to return to Wickenburg, even if it meant giving up her house and her mother’s property. He could have it. She didn’t want to ever be in his presence again. He was a dangerous man and he posed a great threat to her and her child.

  She had a hard time hearing what was happening on the other side of the door because all she could hear was her pulse pounding inside her head. She tried to calm down but her heart was going a mile a minute. Her hands were shaking and her eyes kept tearing up.

  After what seemed like an eternity with no noise coming from the other side of the door, she went back to the window and peeked around it.

  His horse was gone.

  She pulled in a deep gasp and gripped the side of the counter to keep from falling. She dropped her head and let herself cry. When she was able to bring herself back under control, she went to the couch and sat down heavily, resting her pounding head in her hands.

  She felt like it was going to be a while before she could calm down. She talked softly to herself and to her baby, attempting to soothe herself.

  Would Jason come back?

  Why was he there in the first place? How had he found her? And why was he searching for her?

  What did he want?

  She dismissed the thought that he had changed his mind and wanted to see if she had found shelter for the past two and a half months. It seemed unreasonable for him to have expected her to be safe after he had left her there to die.

  She realized he must have gone to the spot he’d left her at and explored the area to see if her body was there. He had waited until the storm passed and the snow melted enough so that he would find her if he needed to. She wondered what story he had made up to her friends and the people in town. Had they tried to search for her?

  If they had, surely someone would have remembered Mike and his cabin and come to ask him about her.

  She stood up when she felt her legs would support her and hurried back to the kitchen. She grabbed the broom and frantically began to sweep the floor. She moved all around the kitchen area and into the living room, sweeping as though the dirt would not come up. The motion helped get out some of her nervous energy. When she was done with the entire front room, she nervously lifted the block from the door and set it to the side. She opened the door cautiously, afraid she would see his horse in the distance or his face right in front of her. She pictured him grabbing her, putting his hands around her neck, asking her how she managed to stay alive. She gathered her courage, relieved that there was no one outside when she opened the door.

  She swept the dirt she had gathered out the door and went out on the porch to sweep some more. It was chilly and she did not have her coat on, so she didn’t stay outside long. When she went back inside, she threw more logs on the fire and began to clean the room. She wet a cloth and ran it over the counters, moving to the shelves and the table tops, all the while wishing Mike would come home. She needed to tell him what had happened. She needed his strength and his comfort.

  She formed the words in her mind, planning to tell him how she felt about him and take whatever came her way. If he said that he wanted to be alone, she would have to accept that. However, she hoped it would not be that way. She hoped he would say that she and her baby were welcome to stay with him forever. He’d said as long as she needed his help, he would be there. Now that she was well on her way to recovery and was only awaiting the birth of her child, would he see things differently and assume she no longer needed him? Would he think that she needed to be with the father of her child, no matter what he’d tried to do to her?

  She didn’t think he would choose the latter. She had told Mike enough about Jason for him to know that the man would not be a worthy father. He certainly wasn’t a worthy husband.

  Finally, after nearly everything in the cabin was dusted and clean, Mike walked in, Buddy on his heels.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  MIKE
AND SARAH DECIDE ON A PLAN

  MIKE AND SARAH DECIDE ON A PLAN

  Mike stopped at the door, having taken two steps in and looked around. At first, the look on his face was one of surprise and pleasure. When he looked at Sarah, his face changed to one of concern. He tilted his head to the side.

  “Are you all right?”

  Sarah dropped onto the couch, leaning forward and covering her face with her hands. He was by her side in moments, one arm around her shoulders.

  “What happened, Sarah? You look terrified.”

  “He was here. He found me. I don’t know how he found me. Why would he even be looking for me?”

  Mike was confused for a moment before realizing who she was talking about. “Your husband? The one that left you up here?”

  “Yes. He threw me down that ravine. Why would he think I am still alive?”

  Mike shook his head. “I can’t imagine what would make him come back up here.”

  Sarah uncovered her face and looked at him. “Have you been back to the place where you found me?”

  Mike nodded. “That’s one of the spots I go to regularly. It’s a good hunting spot.”

  “Have you noticed anything different? Something that would make you think someone else has been there?”

  “No. Not that I’ve noticed. But you have to remember, it’s been covered in snow for a month now. It’s just starting to melt. It’s patchy there, but there’s still plenty of snow. What on earth is he doing prowling around? Is he looking for your body? Maybe he wants to move it, bury it. Did he see you?”

  “No, I hid from him.”

  “That’s good. What did he do exactly?”

  “He came to the door and pounded on it, but I’d braced it so he couldn’t just walk in. He looked in the windows. He kept calling to see if anyone was home and when he got no answer, he walked around outside and looked in the shed.”

  “He went in the shed?” Mike stood up. She looked up at him.