Rock and Roll Country (Jesse's Girl #1)

by Kandice Michelle Young

  She laughs. “Not every man, no, but some of them at least. You wouldn’t be the first single mom to do it.”

  “Yeah, and if I ended up pregnant where would I be? Raising Marcus is hard enough. I can’t imagine being responsible for two, not without someone to divide the responsibility with at least.”

  She laughs. “Is that really what you’re worried about? You’re not going to get knocked up by every guy who fucks you, Country. Listen, I know you were a kid when everything went down with TJ. Frankly, it was his responsibility to handle that situation. He was twenty-two. He should’ve made sure you were ready for it. Neither of us can do anything about that now though. My point, is that you can’t let one mistake when you were a teenager affect your ability to have fun for the rest of your life. Marcus is perfect. That’s because of you. You take your pill religiously, even though I don’t think you’ve had sex in the last five years. Not since that one guy you dated anyway. I think you’ve earned enough saint points, Country. It’s time to get back on the horse.”

  “Oh yeah? And say I did choose to get back on the saddle. I don’t exactly see any stallions running about.”

  “How about that one?” She asks, tipping her head toward the gate.

  Following her gaze, I find myself staring at the lean, muscular build of the guy from the bar last night.

  Jesse

  From the minute I spot her yellow hair shimmering in the sun, I know I should run. Still, the same inexplicable force, the same unavoidable urge holds me in place. No matter what Tag says, one night could never be enough with Sophie. I don’t believe in love at first sight — I don’t believe in love at all since Cressida — but if such a fool’s trap exists I experienced it for the first time at a country bar in Memphis, Tennessee.

  Dressed in a floral print cotton dress, cowboy boots, and denim vest; Sophie sits on a wooden picnic table embracing what — by all accounts — appears to be very warm bottled beverage. Like a dream, she lifts her head and her eyes meet mine. Unsure if it’s the Mid-South’s humidity or my racing heart that has me so warm, I graciously accept the beer Lacey holds out for me.

  “So, you’re here for Sophie, right?” She asks, taking a swig from her own bottle as though she’s one of the guys.

  Unable to take my eyes off the fair skinned goddess before me, I nod.

  “In that case there are two things you need to know.” Counting them off with her fingers, she continues. “One. In the last five years, Sophie has dated one person. It lasted about a month, didn’t end well, and the rest is history. And two. If you have any chance at all you need to get in good with Markita.”

  “Right,” I state, suddenly nervous. “She would be?”

  “The bodacious babe sitting next to Country, of course, and my tough as nails roommate. They’re like sisters, those two. Pass Markita’s test, and she’ll make sure you get a chance.”

  “If that’s the case why hasn’t anyone else had a chance in the last five years?” I question, genuinely intrigued by how a girl as beautiful as Sophie can stay single.

  She laughs. “I said she’d make sure you got one. I didn’t say she’d help you refrain from blowing it. Country’s high maintenance at best, borderline neurotic at worst. Good luck!” With those parting words, she takes Tag’s hand and leads him into the crowd.

  Sweat dripping from my brow, I contemplate my next move. I want Sophie Westbrook like rivers want rainfall, somewhere there’s a part of me that will dry up without her. On the other hand, Lacey’s advice was less than encouraging. Tucking my hands in my pockets, I survey the back yard. I’m definitely in over my head. Deciding it’s best to just ditch the idea of a night with Sophie all together, I turn back toward the gate.

  “Leaving so fast?” I hear once I’ve barely made it to the fence.

  Turning to see Sophie smiling at me, I nod. “Not really my scene. I only came at the insistence of my mate.”

  “Oh you mean your wing man, Tag?” She questions.

  Brow wrinkled, I stare at her.

  “Lacey filled me in as we were closing the bar. Sorry, I didn’t recognize you. It may come as a shock, but not everyone cares about the lifestyles of the rock and roll elite.”

  “Elite, huh?” I tease, scanning my eyes from her toned legs to her delicate face. “I prefer the term god, but whatever.”

  “You really are full of yourself, aren’t you?” She smiles, batting her mascara thickened eyelashes at me. “Well, Jesse, god of rock, you may not be a prince, but you found me. Now what do you plan on doing with me?”

  Refraining from spouting off one of the many, many deliciously dirty thoughts that cross my mind at the statement, I tuck my hands in my pocket to hide the evidence of my growing dick and shrug. “I was told there’d be food at this party.”

  “Best brisket in Memphis,” she says proudly, folding her arms and leaning against the fence.

  “Brisket?” I question.

  Accusatory eyes bulging from her head, she gasps. “You’ve never had brisket?”

  “Can’t say that I have.”

  “Come on,” she grabs my hand and pulls me toward her, “we’re about to fix this crime against humanity.”

  Bye Bye Pride

  Sophie

  “Good, isn’t it?” I ask, popping a piece of popcorn shrimp in my mouth.

  Carefully setting his fork on the edge of his foam plate, Jesse wipes his mouth with his napkin and takes a sip from his beer bottle. “Delicious.”

  “Told you,” I reply, confidently, taking another fork full of baked beans into my mouth.

  “I have to say,” he begins, cautiously. “I am a bit surprised you like it.”

  “Really? Why’s that?” I finish off the last piece of my brisket —— effectively clearing my plate —— and stare at him.

  “You just didn’t strike me as the kind of girl to eat with such passion.”

  “It’s a shame, really, girls who are too uncomfortable in their own skin to enjoy their food. A tragedy brought down upon us by impossible to reach media standards about the perfect body type. My body’s far from perfect, but I refuse to let that stand in my way. The way I see it, if you don’t like a girl who puts food in her mouth, get your stuck up ass outta the south.”

  Unable to control his laughter, he shakes his head. “Point effectively noted. And I do. Like it, that is.”

  Surprised by his response, I stare into his turquoise eyes. Maybe Jesse Lee isn’t so bad after all. We managed to make it through lunch without him being a total asshole. Sure, he has his moments, but when he’s blissfully unaware that his true self is shining I can see so much more to him than the cocky rock star that strolled into my bar last night. Jesse Lee has a heart underneath that hardened exterior, the question is how to reach it.

  “What?” He smiles, wiping at his face again. “Did I miss a spot?”

  I laugh. “Nah, you just surprised me is all. I was convinced being forced to spend more time with you would be excruciating, but it turned out not to be so bad after all.”

  “If you like what I do with lunch, you should see what I do with dinner.” He winks. “How about I take you out after the show? Of course, I don’t know anything about this city, so you’ll have to suggest a good twenty-four hour spot.”

  “Oh, ummm...” Eyes darting around the backyard, I chew at my nails. “I’m afraid I can’t.”

  “Hot date?” He challenges. “Someone beat me to the punch?”

  “No it’s not that, it’s just I——”

  “We’ve got a gusher,” Markita’s voice booms.

  I turn to see her carrying Marcus who clutches blood soaked paper towels to his nose. “Oh my God!” I gasp, jumping to my feet and collecting him from her. “What happened?”

  Marcus wraps his legs and free arm around me as I cradle his cheek against mine.

  “Football accident,” Markita explains. “Got hit in the face with the ball. I don’t think it’s broken, but he wouldn’t let me get a good look at it.
He just wanted you.”

  “Oh, Bean.” Holding in my own tears, I pull the sticky paper towel away from his nose. Blood spills from his nostril onto my dress, and I push the towel up again. “Does it hurt?”

  Pouting his lip out, he nods his head.

  Wishing I could be the one on the receiving end of this injury, regardless how minor, I rake my hand over his hair. “Listen, here’s what we’re gonna do. We are going to go get you cleaned up, get that nose to stop bleeding, and then you can have a Drumstick. Sound good?”

  “Mmmhmm,” he whines.

  “Okay,” I whisper, kissing the tears from his cheeks. Turning my head over my shoulder, I make it a point to meet Jesse’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  Jesse

  Heart sinking in my chest, I watch as she walks through the backdoor with her child in tow. Child. Of all the ideas I’ve already formed about Sophie Westbrook, the idea of her as a mother has never crossed my mind. Yet, a mother she is and there’s nothing I can do about it. Nothing, except run away at least.

  I’ve learned a thing or two since making myself over into Jesse Lee. One, never get involved with a single mother. Two, hit it and quit it is a game best played when both parties understand the rules. Single mothers don’t understand. To them there is no I. It’s always we, her and her child. Even though I know Sophie will be no different, I can’t make myself turn away.

  “You look like you could use another,” Markita says, snapping me out of my own thoughts.

  “Probably shouldn’t,” I reply. “I’d better find Tag and start heading to sound check.”

  “Just one more,” she says, feeling under the table and holding up a flask. “Something stronger this time.”

  “If you insist,” I answer, doing my best to ignore the feeling someone’s just punched me in the gut.

  Unscrewing the cap, Markita takes a hit, puckering up her lips as whatever is inside makes its way down. Taking the bottle from her extended arm, I take a deep drink. Too numb to feel the sting of the liquor, I have another before passing it back to her.

  “My nephew’s pretty cute, huh?” She questions.

  I nod. “Cute indeed.”

  Hopping up onto the tabletop, she states. “So, I’m going to give it to you straight. Country’s business belongs to her. I’m not going to give you any details about her, Marcus, or her relationship with my brother for that matter. I can tell by the look on your face, however, that Lacey didn’t explain any of this to you. Not surprising. Today’s a day to celebrate TJ’s life. My parents have been throwing the barbecue since he died. Marcus never got to meet him, so it’s good for him to experience him this way.”

  Dumbfounded, I stare at the ground. “Right. Well, that would explain things.”

  “Yeah, Country’s not had it easy. My advice? Don’t make it any harder on her. No matter how much hell I give her over it, I admire the sacrifices she’s willing to make for that kid. She deserves the real deal. That’s not you. I can see it in your eyes.”

  “How can you be so sure?” I question. “You have no clue who I am, who I want to be. I’m not even sure I have the faintest idea about that.”

  She shrugs. “Well in my opinion its best you leave Sophie alone until you figure it out. She’s had enough instability in her life. She needs someone solid.”

  I look over at the back door where Sophie’s just beginning to make her way back.

  “No offense, but who are you to say what Sophie needs in her life. Maybe what she needs is to get lost in someone just as off course as she is so they can find their way together. Have you considered that as an option?”

  Brow furrowed, Markita takes another hit from her flask. “You’ve known her for what? Five minutes. I’ve known her since she was sixteen. That girl is like a little sister to me. You may think you’re cool with your fly by night, punk rock attitude, but I’m not buying it. Sophie needs someone who wants more than one night with the waitress who turned him down.”

  Unable to stop the laughter from rising, I chuckle. “One. I’m not punk rock. I’m alternative. Two. Who says I can’t be exactly what she needs? Look, you’re protective. I get it. All I’m saying is you don’t know me, just as much as I don’t know you. If given the chance I’m pretty sure I could surprise you. I may have a reputation for being just another smooth talking singer in a rock band, but the truth is my layers go quite a bit deeper too.”

  “Humph. We’ll see about that,” she smarts, hiding the evidence as Sophie approaches. “How’s my little man doing?”

  Sophie smiles, “He’ll live. The kids were firing up the PlayStation when we got in there. I think he’s already forgotten all about it.” She turns her attention on me, her blue eyes reflecting the dark gray of the clouds rolling in. “I figured you’d have ran for the hills by now.”

  Darting my eyes in Markita’s direction, I smile. “Not yet. I do need to head to sound check, but I wanted to at least say goodbye first.”

  “Oh, okay then. I’ll show you out.” She glances back at Markita. “I’m beat. I already said my goodbyes to Marcus. I think I’m going to head home and take a nap fit for a hibernating bear. See you tomorrow?”

  “Actually, you think you can give me a ride?” Markita questions, smirking in my direction. “I think I had a few more than I realized.”

  “Sure. Of course!” Sophie steps closer to the picnic table. “Need me to help you up or you got it?”

  “Walking shouldn’t be an issue,” she replies. “I just probably shouldn’t get behind the wheel. I’ll walk with you guys and make my rounds while we look for Lace.”

  I’ll be Missing You

  Sophie

  “Come on,” Lacey whines. “You practically live at Tony’s. What’s one more shift?”

  “You do realize this is my first night alone in over a year? I’m not giving that up for yet another shift at the bar. I’m exhausted. I’m going home, taking a bath, eating a cheap frozen meal because it’s all that I have, and going to bed.”

  “Oh my God,” she growls. “You’re really going to make me give up my last night with Tag so that you can act like an old woman? Just cover my shift, Country. I’ll owe you one.”

  “I love you, Lacey, but the answer is still no. You do realize you’ve known him all of sixteen hours, right? I think you’ll survive.”

  “He’s the one. I can feel it.”

  “That’s what you say about every guy you sleep with,” I point out.

  “Tag’s different than all of them. He’s like no man I’ve ever known before. We have a connection. It’s too real to be meaningless.”

  “Mmm hmm,” I reply, skeptically. “Well, connection or not, the point is he gets on the tour bus tomorrow and you’re never seeing him again. Let it go.”

  “Hater,” she quips, storming back toward our newly formed group.

  Shaking my head, I give her a few steps before following behind. The truth is, I’ve covered for Lacey more times than I can count. Never once has she returned the favor. Not when Marcus had the stomach virus and was puking all over my house, not when he fell off the crappy playground equipment at the park and broke his arm. Not even the day he asked me where his daddy was, and I had to have the hardest conversation of my life, a tearful discussion on life and death and trying to find meaning in it all. As far as I’m concerned Lacey can miss out on getting laid in order for me to catch some sleep.

  “Well Country needs her beauty rest,” Lacey sighs, cutting her eyes at me as I approach. “So, I guess you’ll have to ride to sound check with her so I can try to find someone else to cover me. Maybe I’ll just puke in the bathroom an hour into my shift. That’ll give me plenty of time to make it home, change, and get there in time for curtain.”

  I shake my head. “If you need a ride, Tag, I’ll take you. I’m heading that way anyway.”

  “Sure,” he shrugs, leaning down and giving Lacey what could very well be the most grotesque public display of affection known to mankind.

  Un
comfortable with the sound of their tongues rolling into one another’s mouth, I unlock the door to my car. Smacked in the face with the breath stealing hot air, I place my key in the ignition. On the first try, I’m rewarded with a loud thud. On the second, my heaping pile of broken metal screams a sound so bone chilling my heart races, and blows heavy clouds of black smoke from under the hood.

  “Fucking fantastic!” I scream, slamming my hands on the steering wheel and staring up at the sky. I blink back the hot tears building behind my lashes. “What’s next?”

  “You okay?” Jesse asks, leaning over me.

  His shadow blocking the glare of the sun, I turn to him. “Sorry, looks like I might not be able to give you that ride after all.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” he smiles. “I’ll call a cab. Can we drop you off on the way?”

  “I’m just a few blocks over,” I sigh. “I’ll walk. Besides, I have to make sure Kita gets home safe.”

  Somber smile plastered on his face, he nods. For the first time I notice the sadness in his eyes. I’m not sure how I missed it. It’s been there all along, but now it speaks to me on a level nothing has before. It’s as though he wants to say something, but experience is holding him back. It’s the feeling I get every time I consider myself moving on with another man after TJ, the one that keeps me from being able to try.

  Collecting himself, he extends his hand. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Sophie Westbrook. I can earnestly say you’ve left an imprint.”

  “Oh, I’m sure,” I joke, waving my arms around the car’s cab. “My glamorous life can’t help but leave an impression.”

  “It’s not your life,” he whispers, leaning in to tuck a strand of sweaty hair behind my ear. “It’s the strength with which you face it.” Stepping back, he pulls his sunglasses from his pocket. “Goodbye, Sophie.”

  “Goodbye, Jesse,” I reply, sadly, unsure if the pain in my chest is the result of my own pathetic existence or if it means so much more.