I'm Over It (Kihanna in College #2)

by Mercy Amare

  Carter: Julie dumped me. We need to hang out because I want to not think about her.

  Andrea: :( I’m sorry. Let’s go get food. Food always helps me feel better after I get dumped.

  Kihanna: I’m sorry too, Carter. I agree with Andrea. Food makes everything better.

  Twenty minutes later, Carter, Andrea, and I are sitting in the back booth at our favorite diner and Carter is crying into his ice cream. Seeing him cry makes me want to cry.

  Carter and Julie had been together for five years. He thought he was going to marry her. That’s got to be tough. They were a cute couple, but obviously they had issues with the distance.

  Andrea puts her hand on Carter’s back and pats him awkwardly.

  “Maybe you’ll get back together,” she says.

  This causes Carter to sob harder. “She’s... seeing... somebody... else.”

  “Oh,” she says.

  “She’s probably already slept with him,” he says. “We were supposed to be each other’s first and last. He will never be her first.”

  “I bet the dude is ugly,” Andrea says, trying to comfort Carter.

  “He’s a model. An underwear model,” he says, unlocking his phone. “I Googled him.”

  He holds out the phone so we can see the guy that Julie is now dating.

  The guy is hot.

  “You’re way better looking,” I lie. I so lie. I’m not going to tell Carter that this model is hotter than he is. Besides, looks don’t matter. Carter is an awesome guy. I doubt this new guy would hang out with me just playing video games, or listen to me complain about Ty and Gabe. If I was attracted to Carter, I would totally date him. But I’m not.

  Andrea snorts. “On what planet? This guy is a hunk.”

  I kick her leg hard under the table.

  “Ouch,” Carter says.

  “Sorry. That kick was for Andrea,” I say, giving her a look.

  “Kihanna, you don’t have to sugarcoat it for me,” he says. “I know that this guy is better looking. He has that whole six pack thing going on. And, you know, biceps.”

  “Who needs a six pack and biceps?” I ask.

  “I do,” Andrea says. “Or, you know, I need a man with them.”

  I give her another sharp look. “Andrea, you’re not helping.”

  She shrugs. “I’m just keeping it real. If you want to win her back, you need to get hot. The school has a gym that is free for students to use. Why don’t you hit it up? Then you can look like him.”

  “You’re right,” Carter says.

  “No, she’s not,” I say. “If you want to work out, then do it. But don’t do it to win Julie back. Do it for you. Because if Julie is vain and only wants to date this guy because he’s hot, then she’s obviously not a good girl to have.”

  “Even if you don’t want Julie back, it would be awesome revenge,” Andrea says.

  Next time I have a bad breakup, I am so not calling Andrea. She gives bad advice.

  “Carter, I think you’re fine the way you are,” I say. “So what you’re not an underwear model. Not all girls are into that kind of guy. Just be yourself. If Julie and you are meant to be, she will come back to you eventually. If not, then you will find a girl who loves you just the way you are. Don’t work out to win her back or get revenge. Work out because you want to or don’t do it at all. Honestly, if Julie doesn’t realize what a catch you are, she doesn’t deserve you anyway.”

  “Aw, that’s sweet,” Andrea says. “Kihanna is right.”

  “Thanks, Kihanna,” Carter says.

  “Oh, my God!” Andrea says, grinning big. “I just realized, all three of us are single now.”

  “So?” I ask.

  “So... We can do fun single stuff now,” she says.

  “How is that any different than before?” Carter asks. “Julie lives in LA so we always went out and did stuff. The only difference now is that I’m single.” He frowns. “I’m single. This sucks.” He pushes his bowl of ice cream away and puts his head on the table.

  I’ve had my fair share of bad breakups, but I obviously have no idea what he’s feeling. He dated Julie for five years. I’ve never dated anybody for more than three or four months at one time. I can’t imagine spending so much of my life with one person, planning the future, only to have the future ripped away before it’s even started.

  Poor Carter.

  “At least your ex isn’t stalking you,” Andrea says.

  I jerk my head over and look at her.

  Does she know about Brian? How could she know? I didn’t tell her.

  “Didn’t your ex-boyfriend stalk you last year?” she asks, noticing the look on my face.

  “Oh, yeah, he did,” I say.

  “It could always be worse,” Andrea says.

  True. And I’m saying that right now. Because what’s happening to me sucks, but it’s not nearly as bad as last year. At least this time, nobody has died.

  Yet.

  Wednesday, November 10

  4 p.m.

  Very complicated.

  I retook my math test. This time, when I was taking it, I didn’t feel like I was completely drowning in a sea of equations, so I feel better about the odds. Now I won’t have to stress about finals as much.

  Nope, I’m still stressed. Just thinking about finals makes me feel sick to my stomach.

  After my test, when I’m walking to my car, I run into Micah.

  I’ve kind of been ignoring him since Monday. Not just him. I’ve just been ignoring my phone in general. I know that Gabe fixed my phone so nobody is seeing what I’m texting, but I’m still paranoid. I don’t want Micah involved in the craziness that is my life.

  Plus, I am a big chicken. I don’t want to tell Micah that I’m not interested in dating him right now. I’m scared he won’t want to be my friend, and that would suck. I like having him in my life, just not as a potential boyfriend.

  “Hey, Kihanna,” Micah greets me.

  “Hey.”

  “How is everything, you know, with the whole stalker thing?” he asks.

  I sigh. “Very complicated.”

  Complicated doesn’t even begin to describe it. Since Gabe and I watched that video, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Brian. I’ve been wondering if he really is innocent. I just need to know why he tampered with the video to make himself look guilty.

  “I want to help as much as I can,” he says.

  “There really isn’t anything to do,” I tell him. “Right now I am focusing on staying safe. I guess the cops will handle the rest.”

  “Good,” he says. “So, Chelsea and Simon have been asking about you. You haven’t been to practice or any of our shows since Halloween.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. Things have been crazy with moving into my apartment and everything with my ex,” I say.

  “Your ex? Ty?” Micah asks.

  “Brian,” I clarify. Though, it has been a little crazy with Ty.

  “Right,” he says. “I keep forgetting that you used to date your stalker.”

  “I wish I could forget.” At least forget the bad.

  “You kind of have bad luck with relationships,” he says.

  I laugh. “Yeah, I do.”

  “We need to hang out again,” he says.

  “Definitely,” I say.

  “I get the feeling that you’re really not into me,” he says. “We don’t have to date, but I do want to at least be your friend.”

  “I can handle friends,” I say, feeling relieved. I really didn’t want to hurt his feelings and now I won’t have to.

  “We have a show this weekend on campus,” Micah says. “I forgot which sorority, but I’ll text you the details later. Come. Bring all your friends, and ex-boyfriends, but maybe not your stalker. It’ll be fun.”

  “Okay,” I say. “I will.”

  “I’ve got to get to class, so I’ll see you later,” he says.

  “Later.”

  6 p.m.

  Sweet dreams.

&nb
sp; When I leave campus, I go straight to the gym, mostly because I hope that Brian will show up. After an hour of working out, I am disappointed when I get to my car and he’s not there waiting for me.

  Heading straight home, I’m still hoping that Brian shows up somehow.

  What will I even say when I talk to him again? I want to know why, but how will I ever believe anything he says? I’m not sure what the truth is and what’s a lie when it comes to him. I just know that I need answers—truthful answers.

  When I pull into the parking garage at my apartment building, I notice there is a car parked in our extra spot. For a second I think maybe it’s Brian, until I see the Berkeley parking tag. Though, maybe he got a tag. He is pretty resourceful.

  I walk towards the elevator and ride up to my floor. The door is unlocked, so I walk inside, locking it behind me. Just because Brian might not be stalking me doesn’t mean I’m safe. Somebody is stalking me, and I want to protect myself, even though a locked door won’t do much to keep them out.

  As I walk into the living room, I notice there are two people sitting on the couch.

  Gabe and Amber.

  They’re sitting really close, and part of me wants to go sit right in between them. I push my jealous thoughts aside, for now, and walk into the living room.

  “Kihanna, hey,” Gabe says, moving a few inches away from Amber.

  Amber frowns, but quickly masks it with a forced smile.

  “Hey,” I say to him, ignoring Amber.

  “You’re home late,” he comments. I know exactly what he’s hinting at.

  “I was at the gym,” I say.

  “And you didn’t run into anybody today?” he asks.

  “Nope,” I answer. “Well, besides Micah. He wants us to go see his band play this weekend.”

  “Us? As in, he invited me?” he asks.

  “Yeah. Micah said I could bring my friends and my ex-boyfriends,” I say. “I’m pretty sure that means you, too.”

  “You two dated?” Amber asks.

  “Off and on for a year,” I answer. “No worries though. We broke up for good about two months ago.”

  “Not for goo—” Gabe cuts off and looks at Amber. “Yeah, definitely for good. We’re not getting back together.”

  Amber does not look convinced. She is about to say something when the door opens. Ty walks in and smiles when he sees me.

  “Hey, Ty,” Gabe says. “Kihanna has something very important to tell you.” He looks at me. “Don’t you, Kihanna?”

  “No,” I say, glaring at Gabe. “What would I have to tell him?”

  I swear, Gabe better fix this train wreck.

  “About recent developments,” he says. “You know. The video.”

  “What’s going on?” Ty asks, looking between Gabe and me.

  “What’s going on is that I am going to murder Gabriel while he’s sleeping tonight,” I tell Ty, then turn to Gabe. “Sweet dreams.

  “Sorry, but he needs to know,” Gabe says. “So, why don’t you two go talk while Amber and I finish this movie.”

  I roll my eyes. “Fine. But I’m serious about murdering you.”

  I grab Ty’s arm and pull him towards my bedroom. I hear Gabe laughing behind me, so I put up my middle finger without looking back.

  Ty follows me into my bedroom and I shut the door behind him.

  “What’s going on?” Ty asks me. “What video is Gabe talking about?”

  “It’s not important,” I say. “Wouldn’t you rather do something fun? Like make out. We can talk later."

  “Kihanna,” he says, in a firm voice, letting me know there is no way he will let this go.

  “Fine.”

  I start from the beginning and tell him everything—Brian showing up at the gym, what he said, how the video wasn’t real and that Brian could be innocent. I don’t tell him that I hope Brian is innocent.

  “It doesn’t make sense,” Ty says.

  “I know,” I say. “I’ve been trying to figure out why he wants to make himself look guilty. I need to know the truth. I mean, I’ve been thinking for over six months that Brian was behind everything, but what if he’s not?”

  Ty frowns. “If he’s innocent, will it change how you feel?”

  “Of course it will,” I say. “Well, depending on why he did it.”

  “Will it change how you feel about me?”

  I look at Ty. I can see the worry on his face. His feelings are clearly laid out.

  “Ty, when I say it will change how I feel, it doesn’t mean I’ll suddenly be in love with Brian again,” I say. “What I felt for him was intense, but I’ve spend six months thinking it was all a sham. Of course I will feel differently towards him if I find out he’s innocent. But how I feel about you... it won’t change, no matter what happens with him.”

  “And how do you feel?”

  I smile. “I like you. A lot. But you already know that.”

  “I do,” he says. “It’s still nice to hear it. You’re pretty closed off with your feelings.”

  “It’s because I’m an Aries,” I joke. “I read somewhere that Aries have a hard time expressing their feelings.”

  “That’s spot on for you,” Ty says.

  “My dad is the same way,” I tell him. “My mom always hated that about me. But she could always tell what I was thinking by looking at me.”

  “Sometimes you’re easy to read,” Ty says. “It was easier when we first met. Over the past year, you’ve become quite good at masking your feelings.”

  “Only out of necessity. I hate that I’ve become a good liar. I try not to do it too much.”

  “I just want to know something,” he says. “The truth.”

  “Okay.”

  “Do I have a shot with you?” he asks. “Because, if I’m being honest, I’ve been in love with you since the day I lost you. After you left with Gabe at homecoming, I realized just how strong my feelings were. I’ve literally spent the last year trying to win you back.”

  Ty’s words make my heart race and my stomach flutter.

  “I’m not going to make you promises about the future, because I don’t know what is going to happen, but I know how I feel right now,” I say. “I like you. Maybe I more than like you, I don’t know. There is nobody else in the world that I would rather be with. You make my heart race and I feel nervous, which sounds crazy, I know. But I swear, sometimes I feel just as nervous around you as I did on our first date.”

  Ty smiles big. “I’ve waited a very long time to hear you say that. After we broke up, I thought you’d never forgive me, let alone give me another shot.”

  “You’re not the same guy now you were then,” I say. “If you were, you wouldn’t be standing here right now.”

  “I never thought I’d change,” Ty says. “I thought I’d either end up like my dad, cheating on my wife, and her only staying around for my money. I guess I’m lucky, because I found the one girl worth changing for.”

  “You’re nothing like your dad,” I say. “And yeah, you’ve changed, but you’ve just become the person that you were always supposed to be.”

  “I’m just glad you’re in my life,” Ty says. “Do I still get to take you on a date this weekend?”

  “Yes. But we also have to go watch Micah’s band play. I promised him we would.”

  “Oh,” he says, sounding disappointed.

  “Micah and I are just friends,” I say.

  “Does he know that?”

  “Yes,” I answer. “We talked about it earlier today.”

  “Does that mean you’re all mine?” he asks, grinning.

  “Well, I guess it does,” I say, smiling back.

  Ty is fun to flirt with.

  And maybe—just maybe—I like him more than I’m willing to admit to myself right now.

  “Good,” he says, stepping closer. “Because I am tired of sharing you.”

  “We can’t have sex,” I say, stepping back.

  “For how long?” Ty asks.

 
“One month of dating.”

  He sighs. “When did the month start?”

  “Umm... Saturday night when we went on our date,” I answer.

  “Fine. One month. Dating. No sex.”

  “It’ll be like the first time we dated,” I say, laughing.

  He glares at me. “I’m going to go jack off now.”

  “Have fun,” I say.

  He doesn’t respond. He just leaves my room, shutting the door behind him.

  I think I’m going to like dating Ty.

  Thursday, November 11

  9 a.m.

  25 days.

  I wake up to a text message from Ty.

  Ty: 25 days.

  I don’t have to ask him 25 days until what, because I know exactly what he’s referring to.

  I reply to his text.

  Me: :) Can’t wait.

  Ty: We don’t have to...

  Me: Yes, we do.

  Ty: I’m literally just a few feet away from your bedroom.

  Me: Ty Newman, stop it! Be good.

  Ty: Oh, trust me, it WILL be good. ;)

  Me: I’m going to be the good one here. It’ll be completely worth the wait.

  Ty: Oh, I know it will be.

  Ty: BTW, don’t make any plans on Sun, Dec 6. From midnight on, YOU (and your pussy) are MINE.

  Me: Deal.

  I get out of bed and get a shower. I don’t have class until 11, but I figure I may as well get up and start my day.

  After my shower, I walk back into my room and see a paper coffee cup sitting on my desk. There is a note under it.

  Hey, gorgeous. Have a good day! <3 Ty

  I grin at the words. This is the kind of note that I don’t mind getting. One that is sweet, and not from a crazy stalker.