Perfectly Clear

by Michelle LeClair

  My message is this: Love allows you to see the truth clearly. Grace, truth and love will always prevail.

  I gaze outside once again. The sky is cloudless, the wind soft. I head out to enjoy another beautiful day.

  April 22, 2015

  Renee Smith Cartaya

  Deputy District Attorney

  201 North Figueroa St. Suite 1600

  Los Angeles, Calif. 90012

  Dear Ms. Cartaya,

  On January 19, 2015, I wrote a letter to you pleading for you to drop the case against Michelle Seward. I am again writing to you on behalf of the vast majority of clients in the Michelle Seward Trust. See the attached list.

  As members of the trust we are getting extremely frustrated, stressed to the limit, with some members experiencing physical ailments of many kinds because of this non-ending investigation. We want it to end. The insurance investigator keeps calling and pushing our members to turn against Ms. Seward. This we will not do. There has been no evidence of any wrongdoing on the part of Michelle Seward, and yet the investigation continues to try to prove that she did something wrong. When will this end?

  The investigator is repeatedly calling clients trying to get them to interview with him with the end result of ultimately testifying against Ms. Seward. He is using scare tactics, telling people that Michelle is a sociopath who deliberately set up this investment as a Ponzi scheme; she never had any intention of paying anyone back. One client, Mr. Tedrow, was interviewed with a tape recorder recording the interview. The agent then turned off the tape recorder and told Mr. Tedrow that he wanted to tell him some things off the record. He then proceeded to tell him personal things about Michelle concerning how much she used to pay for her house payment, and what kind of luxury car she drove. This appears to be a pattern with this investigator.

  My own personal experience with this investigator during an interview was very frightening. He informed my husband and me that we would never see any of our money back because Ms. Seward is the worst kind of sociopath there is, a person who cares about no one but herself. He stated that she went after senior citizens because she knew we were more vulnerable. He seemed obsessed with her, even at one point mentioning how extraordinarily beautiful Ms. Seward is.

  This type of so-called investigation work is causing many people to suffer. I would like to tell you about just a few of the people that have experienced stress due to this ongoing investigation. It is only a sampling of the hurt that is being caused by this endless investigation, but it will give you an idea of how people’s health is being affected.

  For myself, as a trustee who is in contact with the trust members, the stress of this non-stop investigation, which is beginning to feel like a witch hunt, has really taken a toll on my health. At one point my doctor could not figure out what was wrong with me. I could barely get out of bed for weeks. After doing tests, the doctors discovered that my inflammation level was off the chart. The final conclusion, however, was that the stress I am under was causing me serious problems. I also ended up in the hospital for a week because they thought I was having heart problems. The cause again was stress. The stress, which other members are also experiencing, is coming from this ongoing, ruthless investigation.

  Another client, Michael Turnipseed, has experienced similar problems. He was taken to the emergency room with a blood pressure rating of 196 over 138. His wife told me that an investigator calls them daily wanting an interview. She said the stress is overwhelming and that she believes this ongoing investigation is causing her husband’s problems.

  Mr. and Mrs. Brown are two other clients that have had serious health problems brought on by the stress of what is happening. Mr. Brown was in the hospital for an extended period of time with heart problems. They have been called repeatedly by an investigator as well. They cannot handle the stress of what is happening and refuse to talk to any agent that calls them.

  Lloyd Dickey is another client that I’m going to tell you about. I had talked to him on many occasions. He had told me that he could not handle everything that was going on and that his health was in serious jeopardy. Mr. Dickey died before this case could be resolved. I believe that the stress of the ongoing investigation, along with the many scare tactics that were being used to get people to testify against Ms. Seward, certainly hastened his death.

  There are many more clients that have told me that they are stressed and have experienced health problems because of the ongoing investigation. Everyone wants it to end. I have been in contact with at least 90 to 95% of the clients, and everyone is standing behind Ms. Seward. They all want investigators to stop the constant pressuring for interviews and the scare tactics to try to get them to testify against Michelle. They want the District Attorney to drop this case. They want to get on with their lives and to have this constant continued stress on their lives stopped!

  I think it is important for you to know that people in the trust don’t want to cooperate with this investigation because the few times that people have cooperated their statements have been changed, taken out of context, or the good things that were said about Michelle Seward were deleted.

  The vast majority of people involved with this case are fully supportive of Ms. Seward. There may be 5% who want some sort of revenge, but should we allow this small of a group to dictate this case? I certainly hope not. That would be a travesty and a tragedy.

  Those of us who are in the Michelle Seward Trust are suffering with all kinds of ailments because of the ongoing investigation. We know that Ms. Seward has done nothing wrong, and it pains us to see an innocent person continually being persecuted. We want this persecution to stop!

  Attached are the names of the members of this trust who support this letter and urge you to drop this case. If you have any questions, I would be happy to speak with you.

  On behalf of the clients in the Michelle Seward Trust,

  Respectfully,

  Kathy Ridenour

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  When I started writing my acknowledgments and gratitude, I realized that there were so many people who not only stood steadfast by my side, but who actually helped to save my life. My words of gratitude don’t do justice to the depth of love I feel for you. I would not be free, or even be here, to love my family without every single one of you.

  Mom, thank you for choosing me. Thank you for allowing love to guide you back and thank you for being by my side through it all. We have a second chance at getting it right as mother and daughter. I am grateful that you are here with me to raise my children and experience all the gifts that life has brought us! Freedom has been a mountain to climb for us both, but we have done it together. I love you!

  Dad and Sue, you have always stood by my side—allowing me to grow, to run and to fall, but you have always been there. I am forever grateful for your compassion, your kindness and your love. Dad, I know how hard you worked at being a great father, a great teacher, and an amazing human being. I didn’t get enough time in this book to say how thankful I am for you!

  To my sister, my best friend, you have given so much of your adult life to be by my side! In my darkest moment, you were there to hold my hand and tell me I was going to be okay. You have given me the gifts of love, trust, friendship and my sweet nephew and nieces, Riley, Keira and Baby Charlie! I know that my tragedy also affected your life, and for that, I am sorry! Now I am thrilled that we can share the best of times together. I am so proud of the woman you have become and I love you so much.

  To my brother, Jeremy, you were able to see through the facade before I did. You were able to protect yourself and your family and stay steadfast, no matter what came in your direction. You have also been wrongly attacked by this chaos. I am sorry, and I admire your strength, your intelligence and your unwavering support. I love you and your amazing and beautiful wife, Diana, and my sweet niece, Baya!

  Martie, you have shared the greatest times and the wo
rst of times with us. You have been there for us and the children in more ways than I can count. You have provided refuge, sanctuary, love and support when we needed it most. You are more than a friend—you are family, and you will hold a special place in my heart forever.

  Cody and Josh, thank you for loving me and believing in me enough to know that I would make it through this storm. Thank you for giving me the space to love such an amazing woman. I’m so happy to have you in my life! Your constant encouragement and love helped me along the way.

  To my spiritual guides and armor, Reverend Ed Bacon and Reverend Zelda Kennedy from All Saints Episcopal, from the moment I walked through your door, you accepted all of me—my doubts, my fears, my questions—but most of all you saw only the good in me. You held my hand during the worst of times and shined the light for me to find my way out of darkness. Thank you, my dear friends.

  Ginger, Jimmy, Sherry, Charlie, Suzanne and Jessica, you have always welcomed me with open arms into your family, even with all the turmoil that surrounded me. You always provided us a place to breathe and a place for my children to run and experience their love of nature. You taught me the true importance of love and family, and Ginger, your daily calls helped keep us going! Thank you.

  Kathy and Rik Ridenour, I would not be on the other side of hell without you helping guide me on my way to freedom. You are two of the most selfless people I know and your kindness pulled me up when I needed it the most. You are spiritual warriors for truth and justice, and this world is a better place because you are in it. Kathy, there could be a whole book just on your unwavering love and support!

  Pat Mitchell and Scott Seydel, the word “friend” doesn’t come close to describing my love and gratitude for you. From the moment we met in Vermont, we knew that you would be our best friends! You have been our shoulders to cry on, the ears to listen to our fears and the souls who have mended our broken hearts. I look forward to more travels, lots of great wine and storytelling around the fire with our two best friends!

  Tracey Carragher, it is rare to find a person who embodies your strength, conviction, empathy, compassion and love! You have always believed in my innocence, the truth and my abilities, even when I did not. You helped to save my life, and for that I will always be grateful! I hope to grow into the person that you have become.

  Simon, Carla and Lily Baitler, thank you for helping me see the truth. Thank you for loving me and always being my biggest cheerleaders!

  Jerald Welch, thank you for riding out the storm as long as you could and for always lending an open ear when I needed it.

  To the 127 clients who worked diligently to protect and support me, I am here today because of you! Your constant support, letters, petitions and caring e-mails got me through each day! You stood by my side and I will always stand by yours.

  Gene O’Brien, thank you for taking on a trust that few people believed in and thank you for the opportunity to prove myself to you and my clients!

  Cindy and Trisha, it is difficult to put into words my gratefulness for the two of you. You never left my side. You put yourselves in jeopardy to help me and you never wavered in your belief of my innocence. You will always be in my heart and I will always be here for you.

  Trisha, Courtney, Vanessa, Chrissy, Kelli and Deco, your love for my children wrapped them in a protective blanket when I could not. You gave up your lives for our lives and I will never forget your sacrifices. I love you all and you must know that my children are wonderful little human beings because of your love and influence!

  Ana, you made our lives beautiful with your talent and your love. We are so grateful!

  My amazing attorneys whose hearts always stayed in the fight—Steve Cooley, Daniel Nixon, Jennifer Derwin, Pam Johnston, Bob Hogeboom, Mark Seelig, Mitch Lampert, Elaine Rodgers, Eddie Garland, Diane Goodman, Vince Chieffo and Jay Cooper! Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for never giving up and thank you for saving my life!

  To our friends who never wavered in their support and their love: Jackie and Bob Kosocoff and their daughter, Davida; Kay and Billy Koplovitz; Norman and Lynn Lear; Kevin and Gina Gore; Edie Fraser and Joe Oppenheimer; the DMI team, Ken, Kevin G., Kevin C., Brian, Laura, Steve, Nicole and everyone who gave great hugs and encouraging smiles! You always made me feel welcome, loved and supported! You are kind souls and I thank you for believing in me!

  Debbie Allen, AKA Ms. Galaxy, thank you for always protecting the love that you witnessed between “Charlie” and me, no matter how crazy it was! You have believed in us, you have given us refuge, laughter and now an outlet for our story! You are a sister and a friend to us both, and I will be forever orbiting your galaxy!

  Lynn Shanahan, thank you for believing in my vision and mission to help other women feel beautiful! Your guidance, expertise and friendship mean the world to me, and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for us!

  BJ Bernstein, thank you for welcoming us with open arms and giving me a place to be as open as I needed in a place that no one knew the truth! Your friendship is dear to us and always will be!

  Jonathan Kraut, thank you for uncovering the truth and doing it so selflessly! Your talent, your confidence in me and your steadfast belief in uncovering the lie helped save my life! I am forever grateful!

  Robin Gaby Fisher, thank you for choosing to write my story, for believing in me, for living this hell with me and for experiencing the joy of love and freedom together! You are the conduit for a very complicated story and I am so grateful that you stuck it out with me.

  Thanks to my agent, Anthony Mattero of Foundry, for believing in my story and never giving up on me when things continued to get worse. You gave me hope when all was lost. Tracy Bernstein of Penguin, you gave me my voice back, a way to work through my pain and a light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel! Your own personal strength and perseverance were a reminder to me that I could not give up! I am more grateful than I have words to express to the both of you!

  Hope, you were my monthly respite, my monthly psychological session, a dear friend, an ear when I needed it and, most of all, the best damn hairstylist ever! You helped me feel good on the outside when I felt horrible on the inside! Thank you, my friend!

  I could have dedicated entire chapters to some of the angels who have touched my life, but sadly I wasn’t able to do so. My parents, our best friends and our family, these pages do not come close to explaining how much you mean to me!

  ABOUT THE AUTHORS

  Michelle LeClair is the former president of Scientology’s international humanitarian organization. Michelle separated from the Church in 2011.

  Robin Gaby Fisher is a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist (and three time nominee) and the national bestselling author of After the Fire and The Boys of the Dark. Robin has co-authored multiple books including Choosing Hope by Sandy Hook teacher Kaitlin Roig-DeBellis.

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