Please, don't let me wake up. Not yet. Just once let me have the one thing I want. Tears formed in her eyes and she wanted to cry. She tightened her grip on him, holding him against her.
Devyn buried his head in her neck, where he teased the flesh behind her ear. Alix shook all over from the chills that formed. She closed her eyes, surrendering herself to the erotic ministrations of his hands.
He smiled at her in sensual delight, then pulled at her tank top.
Like a cold splash of water on an electrical fire, reality snapped and hissed through the haze of her mind. This wasn't a dream. If Devyn saw her back. . .
"Devyn, no!" she shrieked, pushing against him. Her body trembled from sudden fear, her passion forgotten. He must never see her slave mark. What had she been thinking?
He stared at her in dazed confusion.
"Let me up," she demanded, scrambling to her feet.
"Alix—"
"Just leave me alone!" she said, her voice betraying her hysteria.
Devyn watched her run from the room, his body still burning. Damn! What had he done wrong? She'd welcomed him, hadn't she?
Rolling over onto his back, he groaned on the floor like a dying verrago. Now what was he going to do? He ached for a release Alix had denied him and he wanted blood. His body throbbed and burned in a contracting need that tore through him with each beat of his heart.
Cold shower, cold shower, cold shower, his mind repeated, and he knew that would be the only thing to return him to a semi-normal state. But where the hell did someone get that much water on board a ship? Devyn kicked his feet and groaned even louder. Someone shoot him and put him out his misery!
Pushing himself up from the floor, he knew he couldn't stay there a moment longer. Images of Alix working out kept flashing before his eyes like a great strobe light.
He had to get his mind off her. There might be someone trying to capture them. There might be a hundred probers out there about to take them. Yeah. Something was bound to be wrong in the control room. Something that could take his mind off his aching frustration. And Alix's beautiful face.
Before he could make the distance to the bridge, Zarina cornered him. "Hey, Dev, I was wondering—"
"Out of my way," he snarled.
Zarina frowned. "Now what's wrong with—"
"Woman, leave me alone!"
Zarina snorted and made a grand gesture to pass him. "Jeez, you act like you've got a case of the rock-heavies."
Devyn ignored her crude comment, which unfortunately was exactly what had him upset, and made his way onto the bridge. Sway looked up, his brows cocked in question. Heading straight to him, Devyn grabbed him by his shirt collar. "If you're a real friend, knock me unconscious."
Alix stepped out of the waterless shower, her body still trembling from Devyn's near discovery. She must be more careful in the future. One stupid mistake like the one she'd almost made and Devyn would know the truth. Then where would she be? The nearest slave auction, no doubt.
God, how she hated her father. She could still see him gloating the day he had taken her to Overley and had her branded a slave. That had been her birthday present when she turned thirteen.
Her back had stung for a week afterward, and it had seemed that every day after that he had threatened to sell her off just as he had done with her mother and brother. Every time money got scarce, he'd look at her with a sadistic gleam in his eyes as if weighing her worth.
How many times had he cursed her for being ugly? But that had been her only saving grace. Had she been born beautiful, she had little doubt her father would have sold her off to pay for the alcohol he loved so much.
A knock sounded on her door.
Grabbing a long shirt, she threw it over her tank top. "Come in."
The door opened to reveal Zarina.
"Hi," she said, stepping into the room rather hesitantly. "I just wanted to check on you. You looked really upset earlier and I thought you could use some cheering up." Zarina pulled Devyn's box of cookies out from under her shirt. "I've even brought sweets!"
Despite herself, Alix laughed. "Devyn's already mad at you. What are you trying to do, get yourself killed?"
Zarina flopped on her bed. "As long as he doesn't look like he did in the control room, I'm not worried. He's got his father's temper, you know. Real quick to flare up, but equally quick to die out. You just have to be sure you can make a hasty retreat until he calms down."
Considering Zarina's words, Alix walked to her cooling unit and pulled out a bottle of juice. She crossed the room and sat at the head of the bed. "I don't know. He gave me quite a scare when he turned on you."
Zarina smiled. "Yeah, but he's a good guy most of the time. I've never known him to hit anyone other than my brother Jayce. And Jayce really deserved it."
Alix cocked a brow.
Zarina set the box down on the bed and turned around to face Alix, her features deadly serious. "Look, I like you a lot and believe it or not, I don't usually like strangers. I also have a suspicion Devyn likes you a lot, too, and he could really use someone like you by his side."
"If you're trying to play matchmaker—"
"Wait," Zarina said, holding up her hand to silence Alix. "I know what you said on Nera, but I also know you didn't mean it."
A lump constricted Alix's throat to the point that she feared she might suffocate. And actually she wished that she would suffocate. It would make her life a whole lot better. "Rina, you don't understand my life. I can't stay with Devyn as anything more than an engineer."
Zarina frowned, disappointment burning in her eyes. "It's really a shame you two are so stubborn. You'd make a great pair."
Alix gave a wistful smile. If only dreams really did come true. "Yeah, but you have to admit Devyn deserves someone a whole lot better than me."
"Better?" Zarina gasped. "Honey, they don't come any more sincere than you."
Alix looked down at herself and gave a short, ironic laugh. "But they do come a whole lot more attractive."
"Pah-lease!" Zarina rolled her eyes. "Come here," she said, sliding off the bed.
Unsure what Zarina wanted, Alix followed her to the mirror.
"Tell me what you see," Zarina said, standing just off to the right.
Alix sighed, disgusted with the image. "What's the point?"
Zarina shook her head and Alix wished she could wipe the pity off Zarina's face. She didn't need anyone's pity.
"I'll tell you what I see, what Devyn sees, is an attractive woman who holds her head up. Look at you. Your eyes are stunning."
Alix shrugged. "Maybe, but my lips are too full, my forehead too high, my nose too fat, and—"
"And you're impossible."
Alix turned away and headed back to the bed. She just wanted to crawl beneath it and stay there for the duration of her life.
She could never have anything more than her own ship. So why entertain foolish hopes and dreams?
Maybe she'd wait until she had enough money for a fully automated ship; then she wouldn't be surrounded by people who would only make her yearn for things she couldn't have.
Zarina stood over her, hands on hips. Her stance brought a smile to Alix's lips despite her sadness. "C'mon, Zarina, don't scold me anymore. You act like you should be my mother."
Agitation draining from her eyes, Zarina sat on the bed. "It's funny how many people say that to me; then when they find out my age, they gape like fish."
Alix stared at her. She figured Zarina to be around her age, maybe a little older, but a little twinge inside made her suddenly suspicious. "How old are you?"
"Don't gape. Remember I look Deucalion and Deucalions always look older to humans than they are."
"Okay," Alix said. "I promise I won't gape. How old?"
"I'm seventeen." Zarina frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. "Now look, you said you wouldn't gape."
Alix closed her mouth, her head reeling over Zarina's disclosure. "I'm sorry, I just had no idea."
Zarina shrugged. "No matter. It always happens."
Suddenly, Alix burst into laughter.
"What?" Zarina asked, looking around the room as if she sought a source for Alix's amusement.
Alix sobered. "It's just strange to me. People always think I'm about half my age, and here I thought you were almost double yours."
A wide smile broke across Zarina's face. "Yeah, I couldn't believe it when Sway told me how old you are."
Alix nodded. "Maybe people shouldn't pay so much attention to what's on the outside of a person."
Zarina sat back and eyed her like a kelfrey scoping out a verrago. "Devyn doesn't look on the outside. Not anymore."
Chapter Six
Alix came awake with a scream lodged in her throat. Her heart pounding in her chest, she scrambled from the bed and looked about wildly trying to find Irn. The automated lights sensed her movement and came on, momentarily blinding her.
Nothing greeted her frenzied gaze except her meager furnishings. Realizing she'd been asleep and it was only a nightmare, she gave a shaky laugh and went to the cooling unit to get a bottle of juice.
"Lights dim," she said, and they instantly became a soft, dull glow that didn't burn her eyes.
She took a drink of juice, her hands trembling to the point that she spilled several drops on her T-shirt.
"Ugh," she groaned, dabbing at the spill with a cloth. Nerves. Who needed them?
Would she ever feel safe? Alix paused in the center of her room and tried to peer into the shadows around her. No. She'd never know the security that came so easily to most people. Her life had been spent looking over her shoulder in fear, wondering what terror her father or his crewmen would visit on her next.
Yet when she thought of Devyn and the way he had protected her, a warm wave crashed through her, telling her that here, at least for now, she had safety. Devyn would never harm her. But how long could it last?
Irn was out there. Despite the infinity of the universe, she'd learned a long time ago that the same people continually crossed paths. It never ceased to amaze her how many times her father would run across men he owed money to, and how many of those people had shown up after the funeral demanding she pay them.
She would meet Irn again, she had no doubt. Then what? What would she do? If he ran to the authorities and claimed free rights, she would be his forever. Her stomach twisted to the point that she feared she'd be ill. An image of him pawing at her breasts, his fetid mouth sliding over hers, the remembered feel of his chafed, cold hands on her flesh scorched her. She couldn't allow Irn to own her. Dear God, she'd rather die.
"Don't think about it!" she said adamantly, but still the thoughts twisted through her, making her body quake, her eyes water.
Suddenly, the room seemed to shrink. The stale air clogged her nose. She had to get out of here. Find someone, anyone who could talk to her and get her thoughts off the waves of panic that narrowed her vision and suffocated her lungs. She grabbed her robe from her closet and shrugged it on. Swallowing the heavy lump in her throat, she ran to the control room.
When the door opened and she saw Devyn sitting in his chair, she almost rushed to him and hugged him. Relief swept away the remnants of her fear and she knew he would help her fight her monsters.
"Hey," he said, looking over his shoulder at her. "What are you doing up so late?"
Nervously, she fidgeted with her robe, drawing the fold up higher on her neck, hoping he wouldn't think it was a ploy to make him desire her. But part of her did wish he would take her in his strong arms and hold her until all bad thoughts were forever banished.
Alix licked her dry lips and moved forward to sit in Sway's chair. She took a minute to study Devyn, and the first thing she noticed was the air of tenseness around him.
Was he upset over what had happened in the exercise room, or had he misread her current intent?
Guilt hung heavy in her breast like an asteroid trapped by gravity. She didn't want him to hate her; she wanted to draw him into her arms and have him hold her, but she was afraid of what she might do if she touched his warmth.
"I had a nightmare and didn't feel like sleeping for a while," she said, stifling a small yawn. "What about you? Why are you still awake?"
He clenched his teeth and looked out at the darkness surrounding them. Alix noted the pain burning in his eyes and she wondered if he'd had a similar nightmare.
Finally, he sighed. "I don't usually sleep well."
Some of the tenseness seemed to drain out of him.
"Which monster stalks your sleep?" Alix asked. "Regret, fear, or anxiety? I call mine by the last two."
He gave a halfhearted laugh that brought a small glimmer of humor to his eyes. Again the need to reach out consumed her, but she knew this time she would deny the piece of her soul that yearned for him.
"Mine would be the first. I suppose the two of us together form the whole triad."
She watched him as he made minor adjustments to their course, the booster rockets hissing a response. Staring at the glowing lights on the console, she thought over all the questions she had about her captain. Why regret haunted him.
"Do you ever miss the HAWC?" she asked, thinking that maybe that was what bothered him most.
He froze. No emotion showed from any part of him. It was almost as if she'd pressed a button that turned him off, and too late, she remembered Zarina's warning about mentioning the HAWC. Her throat tightened. Would she ever learn to think before she spoke?
Then suddenly, Devyn swung his chair around and focused a probing stare on her face. "No, I don't miss the HAWC," he said, his voice dull, lifeless.
Silence encompassed them, yet it oozed and throbbed with a thick intensity that broke through the barriers of her heart. Agony burned in his eyes.
He looked back at the control panel and sighed. "What would you say if I told you I was discharged from the HAWC in disgrace?"
Surprise tore through her like a cold wave of ocean water. She found it hard to believe that her brave captain could do anything disgraceful.
Dumbfounded and confused, Alix didn't know what to say. "Were you?"
He nodded, his eyes darkening with each furious beat of her heart. Agony simmered in the black depths, reaching out to her with a need she couldn't define, but one she wished she could answer.
"Why?" she asked. "I can't imagine you doing anything—"
"I was stealing supplies."
Disbelief washed over her, and again she felt as though she were sinking beneath a cold wave. Devyn a thief? "Why?" she asked again.
Devyn took a deep breath. "It's a long story."
Alix sat forward and took his icy hand into hers. He glanced at their entwined hands, then looked back at her face.
"I've got all night," she said, giving him a reassuring squeeze.
Devyn swallowed and pulled his hand out from under hers. Alix almost gasped as her palm touched his hard thigh and a jolt of desire burned through her. Jerking her hand away, she sat back and waited to see if he would explain.
A cloud of sadness around him, he braced his elbow on his armrest and leaned his chin against his palm.
She waited.
"I was . . ." His voice trailed off and he instantly straightened up in his chair.
Alix frowned.
"Brace yourself!" Devyn shouted an instant before something struck their ship.
The ship lurched sideways and rocked.
Warning sirens blared, deafening her ears. Devyn switched them off, but the warning lights on the control panel continued to flash and dance.
Alix tightened her grip. "What the—"
A flash of color illuminated the darkness of space, blinding her. Someone had fired a flare directly into their visuals in an effort to knock out their scanners and video.
Alix blinked the tears from her eyes, trying to see again.
"Pirates," Devyn snarled, his own eyes tearing.
Alix closed her eyes. Terror settled over her body. She'd n
ever faced pirates before, but she'd heard enough stories about their cruelty to know that most liked to launch their victims out the air lock without spacesuits. And the last thing she wanted was a firsthand view of a vacuum.
Breathing deeply, Alix made herself calm down. She should have considered this possibility sooner, but usually pirates left independent freighters alone. It was only company freighters, or newer ships like Devyn's, that they attacked.
The League 3: Paradise City Page 8