The Hookup

by Zante, Lily

  “For me?”

  “Wait there,” she ordered, and rushed out, leaving him standing there, curious.

  She returned moments later, slightly breathless, clutching a shiny gift bag. “Don’t get angry,” she said, handing it to him. “It’s Christmas, and … you know …”

  He felt like a douche taking it, knowing that he hadn’t bought anything for her, that he hadn’t had the foresight to think about it. Actually, that was a lie. He’d walked past Victoria’s Secret last week, and had seen something he knew she would look great in. But he had walked past, and dismissed the idea.

  He opened the box. Inside were two key-shaped cufflinks. “Keys?” he asked, looking puzzled.

  “They’re not the keys to my heart,” she said, pre-empting him, “So don’t go getting moody or anything. But they only had dice, and cars, and globes, and I figured you’d have all of those.”

  “These are cool,” he said, looking at her, smiling. “You shouldn’t have.”

  “I wanted to.”

  “Thank you, but I feel like a bag of shit because I didn’t get you—”

  “It’s okay,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t give to get.

  “I don’t have keys, you’re right.”

  She stood there looking at him like a puppy dog with shiny eyes. “Savannah’s pregnant,” she announced.

  “I heard.” He’d found out days earlier, when one of his waitresses had mentioned it to him.

  “She says she was pregnant when they got married.”

  “I’m not surprised Tobias wanted to move fast,” he answered, slowly, feeling uneasy with the way Kay was looking at him, as if she was checking his reaction.

  “That’s what she said. Isn’t it sweet that he wants to have a child with her so soon?”

  Marriage and baby talk didn’t interest him, and he didn’t want her to think that they were on the road to that journey, not now, not anytime ever.

  “Nice for them.”

  “A new baby,” she cooed, “Someone for Jacob to play with.”

  “Nice for Jacob.” He put the gift box on his desk, not wanting to stand around talking about these things.

  “I should get back,” she replied, obviously noticing that the atmosphere between them had suddenly chilled a few degrees. “My team will be wondering what’s happened to me.”

  Chapter 22

  She was glad to have escaped from New York. Going home to see her mom over the Christmas break had been lovely, but as the days passed, and she settled back into the fabric of her life before she had ventured to the Big Apple, she realized many things had changed. Or rather, she had changed.

  Within a day, she felt out of place, out of touch, and restless, especially when her mother couldn’t help but gush over Savannah’s pregnancy. It made it difficult being around her, because there was only so many times Kay could say again that she hadn’t yet met anyone, that her career consumed her, and that she wasn’t interested in men, and, yes, she would get her priorities right, one day.

  As if that wasn’t bad enough, meeting up with some of her high school friends didn’t fare any better. Most of them were already married and had settled down. A couple of them already had more than one child. One had recently become engaged, which left only Kay as the only one not in a relationship. At least, that’s what she told them, otherwise, she would be lying.

  Listening to her friends exchanging baby tips and the best recipes for bread, she felt out of place and out of touch. She was restless—as if she had an itch all over her body. She felt out of place even at home. Her mother, glad to have company, seemed to want to be around her all the time, never allowing her time alone with her thoughts. It wasn’t nice to think it, but she soon felt claustrophobic and, after a couple of days trying to relax at home, walking around the edges of conversations she wanted to avoid, she returned to New York earlier than planned.

  But the restlessness continued, and she couldn’t figure out what it was.

  There had been no correspondence between her and Luke, but he had told her that he was in Miami and LA on business, looking at potential sites. She wondered if Marie had gone with him.

  She found herself people watching more than ever, but seeing couples holding hands as they strolled along Fifth Avenue, or sitting in coffee shops and restaurants, laughing and talking—was like a knife to her belly.

  She had none of this.

  A tide of self—pity washed over her again, and she couldn’t shake it off. Christmas and New Year were the most miserable of times for single people. Even if she wanted to call and talk to Savannah or any of her friends here, with a view to meeting up with them, she wouldn’t have because she knew they would all be busy with their partners, and she would be a hanger-on. She couldn’t allow herself to be that person.

  Work saved her. She worked soul-killing long hours to make up for the emptiness of her life. Nothing was more important than proving to Remington that she had this. And once the Pembroke deal was over, she would use that as a milestone to take stock of her life.

  For now, Luke was the perfect antidote to her hectic working life. The sex was great, but coming home to an empty bed wasn’t. She felt hollow, cheated, almost as if she was suddenly starting to see that what she had wasn’t the foundation to anything strong, or worthwhile. There was no chance of anything long-term evolving from this.

  Once the wedding was over, she would strongly consider taking Savannah’s advice and going on that man-free diet. It would help her wash Luke right out of her skin, and soul, and heart.

  Luke, unlike Dean, unlike most men she had been with, wasn’t transparent. He could be tender one moment, and cold and distant the next. Sometimes, the dichotomy of his being wore her down.

  She missed him, in her quiet, lonely moments and in her mind’s eye she embellished the type of man he was; she made him out to be someone who loved her, and in her imagination she saw them having Sunday brunch in a café near Central Park, then having drinks and dinner after work before going home together.

  Maybe it was not seeing him for a few weeks that distorted the image she had of him, for she spent far too much time thinking about him than she should have. She was now starting to see the error of her ways. He was unreachable, and she barely knew any more about him now than she had that first time she’d met him at Savannah’s wedding.

  But when he called her, a few weeks into the new year, the sound of his voice filled her with joy.

  “I haven’t seen you at the bar,” he said, the words hanging in the air, like a question.

  It was obvious why he’d been looking out for her.

  He wanted to have sex.

  She should have refused. Should have made an excuse, but the wedding was a few weeks away, and she needed to honor that invitation.

  “I’m clean, by the way,” he announced. “I had the test done. Everything’s fine. I can show you the letter, for proof.”

  “I’ll take your word for it,” she told him. “I’m clean, too.” She’d had her results come through as well. She was clean. Now her only worry was that she might be pregnant. She’d told him she was on the pill, but with all the late nights and her crazy work schedule, there had been a few days here and there when she’d forgotten to take it. It had only ever been a secondary backup to ensure she never got pregnant, because she never had unprotected sex. Never. And the idea that she might be pregnant filled her with dread, and a little hope. Each time she thought about buying a pregnancy kit, she pushed it to the back of her mind. It frightened the hell out of her, to find out for sure—because her whole world would change. And Luke would lose his shit.

  “No back to work drinks for you and your team?” he asked.

  “No time.” She laughed a little, to hide the disappointment. Why couldn’t he tell her he missed her, or ask her out to dinner, or ask her how her Christmas was?

  All that time she had been away, she'd been thinking of him. Not of intimate moments, but of conversations, disagreement
s, moments they had shared. She wanted to make him happy, always, in her daydreams about him, and if that wasn't love, or a semblance of it, wanting to bring happiness to someone, she didn't know what was.

  “Come and meet Marie. She wants to meet you.”

  “Marie who wants to meet me?” This was new.

  “She wants to see that you’re real and not an escort.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I told her about you. Besides, you’ve been curious about her for ages.”

  “I have not been curious about her.”

  “Could have fooled me.”

  She was stoked that he wanted her to meet Marie, his erstwhile business confidant. Could it be that while she had spent her vacation thinking of all that was wrong with their relationship, he had spent it realizing that he wanted more?

  “I’ll see if I can pass by in a hour or something.” She’d been here since 6am, and tonight she could have an early night.

  “Okay. See you later.”

  She put away her cell phone. So much for starting to distance herself from him. There was no point in doing that now, with the wedding only weeks away.

  True to form, when she walked into The Oasis, Luke was sitting at his table in the corner with Marie. The two of them looked up at her as she walked over. Smiling, she put out her hand as Marie and Luke stood up. “So you’re Marie?” she asked, shaking the woman’s hand.

  “Nice to meet you,” Marie replied. “I’m sure I’ve seen you here.”

  “I come here more than I should.” They smiled at one another, then Kay looked at Luke, he looked at her, and there was a moment of extreme awkwardness. Neither of them had had to navigate a welcome greeting in front of other people before, and she wasn’t sure how to go about it. Should she kiss him or hug him?

  “Hi,” she said.

  He leaned forward and kissed her cheek, taking her by surprise. “Hey.” He tugged her hand, so that she sat down alongside him, a display that had been solely for Marie’s benefit.

  Marie sat opposite Kay and gave her the kind of smile that settled all her initial fears. Something about her was so homely, so endearing that Kay’s previous jealousy fell away. It also helped that Marie seemed to be a good deal older than Luke.

  “So, you’re the business manager?” Kay asked, feeling comfortable around this woman now.

  “I don’t know that that’s an apt title,” said Marie. “I do anything he asks me to do, within reason.”

  “Is he a good boss?” Kay asked.

  “Careful,” Luke cautioned Marie, with a grin.

  “He’s not bad,” Marie replied.

  “She’s not a bad employee, either,” Luke retorted.

  “I have two teenage children to bring up,” said Marie, “so, I’m kind of stuck.”

  “Stuck?” he exclaimed, his tone jovial. “You have a generous employment package here, and you’d be foolish to consider working for anyone else.”

  “It’s true,” Marie told her. “If anything this guy is upfront, and I trust him. He might look too young, and he might look like a total layabout, but he’s smart.”

  “Layabout?” Kay asked.

  Marie nodded at his tattoos, so blatantly obvious for everyone to see, especially when all he wore was mostly plain black or plain white t-shirts.

  “He does give the first wrong impression, doesn’t he?” said Kay, quick to agree. Her gaze trailed over his muscled arms, beautifully inked.

  “Why are you smiling?” he asked.

  “I was admiring your tattoos.”

  “Most girls do,” said Marie, and they both turned their attention to Luke, and eyed him up.

  “I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t introduced you to one another,” he replied, putting a hand to his neck.

  “He’s feeling sorry for himself today,” Marie announced.

  “He is?” Kay asked. Then turned to him. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Nothing,” mimicked Marie, making a move to get up. “That’s his typical response. He probably over did it at the gym, I expect.”

  “It’s nothing,” Luke said. Though she had to admit, now that she looked closely. He didn’t seem to be his usual perky self.

  “You okay?”

  “Fine. I’m coming down with a cold.”

  “Told you,” said Marie, winking at her. “He’s after some sympathy. Expect full-blown man flu.” She glanced at her wrist-watch. “I have to go. Nice to meet you, Kay.” She turned to Luke. “Don’t forget to reply to those emails I sent you.”

  “Slave driver,” Luke called out after her as she left.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked him, peering closer.

  “It’s a cold. I don’t do man flu.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll look after you if you’re ill.”

  “I don’t need anyone to look after me,” he leaned towards her. “I just need you for sex.”

  She bit down on her teeth, managing somehow to still smile at him, even though the constant reminder of why he was always so keen to see her, hurt. “Marie seems nice,” she said.

  “She’s reliable, and hard-working, and I trust her.”

  “She must be good,” said Kay. “It’s not like you to trust many people. “

  “Good observation.”

  “Easy enough to make,” replied Kay. She knew the bare minimum about him, and likewise, he never asked her much about herself, except when it had come to Dean. Thinking about it further, they really were no more than two strangers who shared physical intimacy. Something about that didn’t feel right to her. Not anymore.

  But sitting here, next to him, like this, and him having introduced her to Marie, she felt as if she had somehow been included in his inner circle. She let the feeling sink over her, because it wouldn’t be long before her bubble would burst.

  “Am I that transparent?” He knocked back his scotch.

  “On the contrary. I’d say you were hard to read.”

  “Hard to read,” he repeated, as if the words were new, and surprising.

  “Did you think you were an open book?”

  “I don’t know what people think of me.”

  She would have found this to be an odd comment, but knowing him as she did now, it made perfect sense. He didn’t give enough of himself away. He never shared, he never went deep. He never put himself in a position where he was vulnerable.

  She understood what they had, because—as Marie had said—he was upfront, but he never gave enough of himself away. She knew him, but she also didn’t know him, for Luke Hunter had hidden demons and after nearly three months of being with him, she was no closer to unearthing them.

  “The first time I saw her, I figured she was your girlfriend.”

  “People make that stupid assumption from time to time.”

  “Why’s it stupid?”

  “She’s much older than me.”

  “Would that stop you?”

  “I tend not to fall for women who are older than me. And I've never seen her in that light.”

  “But still,” Kay persisted, trying to get into his mind, trying to unravel his thought processes. “Sometimes you can’t help who you fall in love with.”

  “Who’s talking about falling in love? She’s good at what she does and that’s all.”

  His reply startled her, but something pushed her to challenge it. “No-one’s talking about falling in love, but I’m talking about people in general. What if you met someone you liked but they were a few years older than you, and you didn’t know? Then what would you do?”

  “I don’t ask people how old they are, but clearly, Marie is old enough to be my mother.”

  Kay laughed out loud. “I never saw her as your mother. I think she’d be hurt to know that’s how you see her.”

  “Nobody can replace my mother.”

  “Moms are irreplaceable,” she agreed.

  “Yes, they are.”

  “I’m looking forward to meeting your mom
and your family at the wedding.”

  “My mother’s dead.”

  She rushed her hand to her mouth, to stifle the shock. “I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”

  He shrugged, looking straight ahead, not making eye contact with her. She had questions, a million of them, and wanted to ask him but he looked faraway, his expression hard to read.

  She couldn’t ask him. Couldn’t go there, because even if she dared to, she knew that he would close up and not give her the answers she sought. Worse, he would remind her that these things weren’t part of their arrangement. She felt together yet apart, sitting with him here, most of the time, except when they were making love.

  This was not what she wanted.

  Yet to anyone sitting here in the bar, seeing her and Luke at the table together, they might be forgiven for thinking here was a normal couple, in love, together.

  How different the truth was in comparison.

  “You can meet my father and my sister, though,” he said, turning to face her. His expression was still hard, and even the smile that he forced on for her benefit—the smile she could see right through—didn’t fool her.

  “I’m looking forward to it. What about a wedding gift?” she asked, knowing how lousy he was with gifts. “Have you got any ideas about a wedding gift? I’ll contribute my share—”

  “It’s taken care of.”

  “Oh.” That was the end of that. She didn’t bother asking him what it was, or whether he would buy and sign the card. He’d deal with it.

  The wedding was two weeks away, and he hadn’t said a thing. She had no idea where it was, how long they were going for, what to wear. “It’s only a few weeks away,” she said, touching on the subject. “What should I pack?”

  “Nothing. We’re driving up for the day only.”

  It was just as well that she had asked. “So I only need to take one day off work?” Remington wouldn’t give her such a hard time over one day.

  “Yes.”

  “That’s good to know. I’m glad I asked you,” she said. And there would be no overnight stay. As jovial and as easy-going as he had been moments ago, while Marie was here, he’d turned in an instant. All of a sudden she wasn’t so excited about the wedding. Luke seemed to want it over and done with and if this conversation was any indication of what she could expect, she was already beginning to dread it. “Where is it?”