The Hookup

by Zante, Lily

  But Geoffrey was as ambitious as she was, and he no longer masked his simmering resentment as easily. She had heard from others that he’d made a few chauvinistic remarks on the sly. She would have challenged them, had she not been too preoccupied by her current workload.

  She didn’t want this to mess up the Pembroke deal, and all her attention and energy were directed there. Even Luke ceased to take up any of her thoughts.

  Too many late nights weren’t good for her, and Erin was right. She wasn’t going to finish all her work overnight. There would be other fires to put out tomorrow. The work never stopped. Geoffrey, or Remington, or both of them, and others, would put more obstacles in her way.

  “Let’s go,” she said, suddenly deciding to do it now. Why have the weight of splitting with Luke hanging over her head? Why not just sever the ties now?

  “You’ve changed your mind?” Erin asked, clearly perked up by this sudden turn of events.

  At the back of her mind she was already working out her strategy. If she showed up with Erin now, she would feel empowered to do it.

  She had convinced herself that she was busy at work and couldn’t have a social life, but the truth was she was being a recluse. She could have made time, just like she had before, but she was choosing to hibernate in her office. Not facing Luke, not even going to see Savannah, she had avoided contact with others. This current funk had to stop. In fact, more than Luke, it was Savannah she felt the urge to visit, not only because it was her perspective and sage advice that she needed the most, but because she needed to offload, and she couldn’t do that with Erin. But Savannah would also be bitterly disappointed in her if she confessed about the current state of her life.

  She would figure out how to approach her cousin later. There was a more pressing issue that she had to deal with, and tonight Erin would be her wing woman.

  An hour later they were sitting across the table from one another, on the usual big comfy couches she had come to know so well.

  She had lied when Erin had asked her how her Valentine’s Day had evening had gone. She had lied through her teeth and said Luke had come over, and bought her some expensive lingerie. Erin had made a crude joke, which she had ignored.

  She craned her neck and looked around the semi-crowded place, hoping to get a glimpse of Luke, but he was nowhere in sight. Her hopes deflated. It would have been the perfect time to confront him. The bar was relatively quiet, and she could have said what she needed to him here in public, but away from prying ears, and then she would have been done with it.

  But if he wasn’t around …

  Disappointed, she looked around the room again and caught sight of Marie, sitting with her back to her. Kay was surprised to see that she was still here because Marie had mentioned that she didn’t often work late. It made her wonder if Luke had gone away on business.

  The sneaky little rat.

  That would be typical of him, to go away for a few days and not think to tell her. She excused herself and strode across the terrace to Marie.

  “Hey, Marie.” She tapped the woman’s shoulder. Marie turned around, and she looked wary. Dark circles under her eyes gave her the expression of someone who hadn’t slept well.

  “Hey,” Marie replied, her tone quieter than she last remembered. “How are you doing?”

  “I’ve had better days. My friend dragged me here.”

  “Dragged? I didn’t think we had to drag you here. I noticed we haven’t seen you in a while.”

  “Work’s manic,” Kay replied tucking her hair behind her ears, getting fidgety. “I was looking for Luke but he’s not around. Is he away?”

  “He’s … busy.”

  “He’s always busy,” she laughed, her insides going all smooshy. She’d felt tense from the moment she’d set foot in here, and just wanted it all over with. “Where is he?” She would go to his apartment if she needed to, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to sleep well tonight with this unfinished business hanging over her head like a dangling sword.

  Marie opened her mouth but didn’t answer straight away. “He’s been...uh… busy with the new site.”

  Kay sensed Marie’s hesitation and wondered if Luke had said something to her. Her reply at least indicated that he was still in town. This was worse; knowing that he was here, in New York, and still hadn’t bothered to call her after that last awkward meeting. It proved to her that he didn’t care.

  She stared back at Marie’s impassive face, trying to decipher the hidden meaning behind her expression. Had the slimy toad ditched her without having the balls to tell her to her face? It might explain why Marie was looking at her with something that bordered on pity.

  Folding her arms, she asked, “Is he in his office? I need to speak to him.” There were still some things she needed to say to him, even though he’d beaten her to the splitting up.

  “I’ll get him to call you.”

  “Is he avoiding me?”

  Marie sat up and leaned back against the chair. “He didn’t call to tell you?”

  “Tell me what?” That he was splitting up with me?

  “I’ll get him to—”

  Something was definitely off. “He doesn’t want to see me anymore, does he? Is that why you’re being so awkward with me?” she asked, getting defensive.

  “What? No?” Marie cried. “Goodness no. He never said anything like that.”

  “If he’s in his office, I’d rather just go and see him myself.” Did he have someone else in his office? She had a good mind to march in there and see for herself. “You don’t have to be his bodyguard, Marie. I’m old enough to handle the truth.” She smoothed down her blouse, that mere act telling her body to brace itself for an unpalatable truth.

  “He’s not here, Kay.”

  “Then I’ll go over to his place.”

  “He’s not there, either.”

  Marie seemed to be stalling. More than that, she seemed uneasy. Kay sensed an ice wall between them, and she wondered what it was she was keeping from her.

  He had surprised her. She hadn’t had him down for being such a coward; she’d expected a more manly response. A terse phone call, or text at the least, maybe even a final rushed, frenzied night of passion before he dumped her. That would be more his style.

  “He’s in the hospital.”

  “In the hospital?” It was so unexpected. The words took her completely by surprise. “Why? What happened?”

  “I didn’t want to tell you, and I…” Marie shook her head as if it was a chore to get the words out, “I don’t think I should be the one to tell you.”

  “Tell me.”

  “He’s not well.”

  “What do you mean he’s not well?”

  “He’s in the hospital, and they’re operating on him tomorrow.”

  The news was like a wrecking ball to her gut.

  “Surgery for what?” she asked slowly, thinking of the worst. Luke was so young, and so fit and healthy. There had to be a mistake.

  “He should be the one to tell you, goodness knows I’ve already said too much.”

  Kay shook her head. “Tell me, please tell me,” she urged, a sixth sense warning her.

  “He’s got thyroid cancer.”

  She stumbled back a step, and her back hit the wall as the weight of the words fell on her. “What?”

  When?

  How?

  She’d only seen him last week. She stared at Marie completely dazed.

  Thyroid cancer?

  Was it fatal? She didn’t even know what a thyroid did.

  But it was cancer.

  And that was always bad news.

  “He didn’t want you to know. He didn’t want anyone to know.”

  “I’m not anyone.” It didn’t matter what he thought of her, how he saw their relationship, and what boundaries she crossed. The guideposts to their relationship had shifted.

  How could someone like Luke have that? He was so young, so fit, so healthy. In an instant, all her hostility fel
l away. “Where is he? I need to see him.”

  Marie’s face tightened. It looked as if she was caught between a rock and Luke’s hard face. A man like Luke would have demanded her loyalty, and already she’d turned him in. “You have to tell me,” Kay begged. “You wouldn’t have told me if you didn’t think I needed to know. I know what Luke’s like. He’s a hard man to care for, but I care for him.”

  “He’s not going to like you turning up unannounced—”

  “I don’t care what he likes or doesn’t like. Please, Marie. You and I both know he’s alone. He isn’t going to tell anyone, not even his family. You and I are the only ones he has.”

  Chapter 30

  “Get some rest now,” the nurse told him, as she poured him a glass of water.

  “I have no choice, do I?”

  “No, you don’t, young man.” She handed him the glass. This woman was a matronly version of Marie, he decided. She was jovial enough, strong and robust, where Marie was efficient, business minded, and slender. “We’ll take you to the operating room first thing.”

  How fucking lucky was he? “I can hardly wait.”

  “Get some rest. It will be over before you know it.”

  “Don’t worry,” he told her, “I have no plans to hit the bars tonight.”

  “Not tonight,” the nurse replied, her face dead pan, and he liked that. “Maybe a few days later.”

  He’d been here since yesterday when they had carried out some pre-op procedures. To think that a week ago, he would never have envisaged that he would be in the hospital, getting ready for cancer surgery.

  Shit could happen in an instant.

  He would have been meeting with his construction manager, and ensuring that the building work on Canal Street was going as scheduled. He should have been in meetings with Marie, taking care of the business. And somewhere in all of that, he might have found time to see Kay and sort things out. Make it up to her for behaving like a douchebag.

  It was a recent thing. A new thing, him even thinking that he needed to make an apology. Because she was starting to matter. He wasn’t making the transition from not giving a shit, to caring, too well.

  It didn’t seem to matter much anymore.

  In his absence, Marie would have to handle business matters, and as far the personal stuff? That could wait.

  A knock at the door, was followed by it opening slowly and then he saw her. Kay’s face peeked out through the gap.

  What the hell was she doing here?

  “Visiting hours are over, I’m afraid,” the nurse told her.

  But Kay stepped inside quickly. “I need to see him, just for a minute, please.”

  She stepped inside, and he lay on the bed, hating the fact that she was here, seeing him like this, with his vulnerability bleeding all over the place.

  “Visiting times are over,” the nurse repeated, blocking Kay’s entry.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Kay asked, craning her neck and peering over the nurse’s shoulder.

  “Didn’t you hear me? Visiting times are over,” said the nurse, her voice stern.

  “I’m his girlfriend,” Kay replied, addressing the nurse for the first time.

  The nurse turned around and looked at him, for verification presumably due to his lack of enthusiasm.

  “She’s not,” he replied, shaking his head. It wasn’t easy to say, but necessary.

  He heard Kay gasp.

  “Apparently you’re not,” the nurse said, turning to Kay. “And if you don’t leave now, I’ll call security.”

  Even from where he lay, he could read Kay’s face as if she was only inches away from him. She looked mad. Or hurt. Sometimes he couldn’t tell which it was.

  “I’m not his girlfriend, but we meet for sex, mostly when he wants it. That must count for something.”

  Seriously? She’d really gone there?

  The nurse stared at him in disgust. “Is she your girlfriend or not?” she asked. If looks could kill, he would have died already. At least he’d have been in the right place. He didn’t answer her, but looked at Kay. “You shouldn’t have come here,” he muttered. He didn’t want her to see him like this. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this apart from Marie, because Marie was the only one who had never let him down, and he was too jaded to expect more of Kay.

  “Please give me a few minutes with him. I’ve only just found out now. Please,” Kay begged, looking distraught and appealing to the nurse with her newly found helpless-woman tactics.

  “Five minutes,” the nurse replied, and left, looking none too pleased.

  Kay rushed to his side. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Who told you?” Though he already knew where the leak had come from.

  “Who do you think?” She fixed him with eyes that were softer. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she repeated. Her whole demeanor had changed, as if she had let the hardness fall to her feet. Now she was full of sympathy, and pity, and all that other shit he didn’t want, or need.

  He didn’t want or need other people being worried about him. He could handle this perfectly fine by himself.

  “Because I didn’t want you to come.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I can’t have sex with you here.”

  He saw her face tilt, saw her visibly move back a few inches. Then she smiled. “I know what you’re doing,” she said, nodding her head. “I’m not going to let you push me away.”

  “I don’t want you here. You should take a hint.” It was easier to be a bastard when he was lying in bed feeling sorry for himself, and hating life and the universe. A pity party wasn’t going to undo the cancer, or make things better.

  “I’m slow like that,” she countered.

  “Yeah, I know.” Damn it why couldn’t she just leave? “I don’t know why you came.”

  “Because I needed to see you.”

  “You’ve seen me now, so, you should go.”

  Her mouth twisted, and she looked to be at a loss for words. It wasn’t like her. She always had a retort or two to hurl back at him. “I know you’re scared,” she said slowly, as if she was addressing a child. “You don’t have to be scared. You’re not alone, and you’re going to be fine.”

  His gut hardened. This was the kind of shit he didn’t want to deal with. “Marie should have kept her mouth shut.”

  “She was worried about you. I’m glad she told me.”

  He didn’t want her around. She didn’t know what he knew, and she hadn’t been let down the way he had. She was digging her claws into him, trying to lay claim, hoping to turn that neediness of hers into something. Well, he had a thing or two to say to that.

  “I don’t need you, Kay. Don’t feel obligated to be here because you think it’s the right thing to do. You really should take the hint and go, especially when someone begs you to. I can take care of myself.”

  “Of course you can,” she said, smiling as she looked at him, holding the gaze for the longest time. Her eyes looked glassy, or maybe it was the medication, and the after effects of the various tests they had done on him today. “I know we only use one another for sex, but didn’t I deserve to be told?” she asked, surprising him with her candor.

  He was silent, and listening to her voice, having her here, made a welcome change from the doctors and nurses he’d been seeing all day. “No,” he said, trying to hold firm. It was nice and all her being here, but he didn’t want her around. Couldn’t let himself rely on her, or let her think she was going to help him through this. “Fuck buddies have no obligation.”

  “Why are you doing this?” she asked, her shaky voice revealing her hurt.

  His neck was still hurting from the needle biopsies, and it hurt to swallow. If he hadn’t been given the double dose of painkillers to help him over the pain, he probably wouldn’t have been able to say any of this to her as easily as he could. But perhaps this was a way to be done with her. His recovery wasn’t going to be instantaneous, and did he really want he
r hovering around him? “You were like a leech, so fucking clingy,” he said wincing as he tried to shift himself into a more upright position in the bed. “I couldn’t shake you off if I tried.”

  She swallowed then, and her hand shifted to her chest for the briefest moment, before moving to her handbag—as if she needed the support of something to hold on to. “Shake me off?” she asked, her voice dropping almost to a whisper. “What are you talking about?”

  “About you, chasing me.”

  She shook her head. “It wasn’t like that. We were only talking back then, on the island.”

  “And yet you showed up at the bar a few weeks later.”

  She didn’t say anything, but blinked slowly as he twisted the knife deeper. “And then at the club, when you found out who I was. When I took you home.”

  “I didn’t ask you to take me home. You insisted.”

  “You were desperate.”

  “I was not. You asked me a number of times. You did insist.”

  “I know what you women are like,” he hissed, the momentum increasing. Now that he had started, it was easier to spew it all out. He needed it done, so that she would never come back here again.

  She didn’t say anything, but blinked, very slowly, and he knew this was it. Time to twist the knife bone-deep. “Like a leech,” he said, again. “I didn’t know how to shake you. I figured one quick fling might do it.”

  Her brows pushed together as viciousness ripped from his lips. “Might do what?”

  “I hate to break it to you, Kay, but you were a pity-fuck.” He tore in. “You did everything but practically beg me to fuck you that night.”

  Her lower lip trembled, and she stepped back, visibly shaken, but silent. “You’re evil.”

  “I’m telling the truth.”

  “You don’t have to do this.”

  “Just being honest.”

  Her face crumpled, and he could see she fought for composure, still shaking her head in disbelief. Her brows creased and held there, an angry mark on her face which, until a minute ago, had been bathed in softness and concern for him. “You don’t mean it. You’re doing this because…because of what you’ve been through.”