The Hookup

by Zante, Lily

  “It… hurts…,” he croaked, then made a face as if it had been painful.

  “You look like you’re in pain. Don’t,” she cautioned. “

  He gave her a withering look.

  “I prefer you when you don’t talk,” she continued, gaining more courage the quieter he remained.

  Once again, he made a face, then tried to open his mouth, but winced.

  She was enjoying this. “It’s best if you don’t talk. Your voice is going to be hoarse for a few days. It might even be gone for a few weeks.” She made an exaggerated woe-be-gone expression. “You might even lose it for a month.” Her smile widened. “That would be freakin’ awesome. Nobody would have to listen to you spouting nasty garbage.”

  He scowled at her, and she smiled back. “This is going to be so much fun.”

  Chapter 33

  “I’m so glad we’re sharing this,” Marie declared, when Kay turned up at Luke’s apartment a few days later. He had been discharged from the hospital and Marie had brought him back home.

  “I don’t know if sharing is the right word for it,” she replied. She’d come straight after work on a day when she’d managed to leave earlier than usual.

  It soon became clear, that just like that, she and Marie had assumed the roles of Luke’s carers—whether he wanted them to or not. Marie had taken on the motherly role and she, she assumed, was the dutiful girlfriend.

  “We both care about him,” Marie said.

  “It’s not like he’s got anyone else,” Kay told her. She placed a couple of cartons of freshly made soup into the refrigerator. Marie had offered to bring him food until he was able enough to cook for himself and since she didn’t cook much, she let Marie handle that side of things while she picked up food from the supermarket.

  “What’s his family like?” Marie asked, lowering her voice again.

  “Uh…well…” She didn’t know where to start, and she didn’t want to divulge too much in case Marie didn’t know everything.

  “Pleasant,” she replied, unable to come up with a better word.

  “He cares about you more than he did the others.”

  Kay balked, not knowing why Marie was saying all of this now, and maybe it would be better if she put her right. “I—I’m not sure that—”

  “He’s been different lately,” Marie said, interrupting. “Trust me, I know what he can be like. I can see the difference you’ve already made. It’s been a while since he’s had a regular girlfriend on the scene, that I know of, anyway. He likes to keep his personal life personal. I try and pry out what I can, but he’s not always willing to humor me.”

  “He’s hard to read,” Kay agreed. She frowned, then looked around, worried that Luke might hear them. “Where is he?” she asked.

  “He’s taking a shower.”

  She breathed easier. “What makes you think he cares about me?” Marie obviously wasn’t aware of Luke’s dark and twisted side; the side he reserved for those he became intimate with.

  “He’s never taken anyone to meet his family before, for starters. You should take that to mean what you want,” Marie replied, glancing towards the hallway. “I expect he’ll be out soon. He’s been in there for ages.”

  He was taking his sweet time, and she hadn’t even seen him yet, not since that day when she’d said all she had needed to say to him. Now she wondered if that had been wise. Her insides knotted just thinking about it. She hadn’t gone into the hospital after that, either, needing to place distance between them, but now that he was back at home, it didn’t feel right to her not to at least look in on him.

  Marie obviously didn’t know anything except what was on the surface and by coming to see Luke, Kay had unwittingly led Marie to think she was happy to do this. A normal girlfriend would, and Marie obviously didn’t know any better.

  She didn’t have any other choice, though, did she?

  It wasn’t as if she was going to turn a blind eye towards him when he was recovering from cancer surgery.

  “It will only be this week we’ll have to keep an eye on him,” Marie said. “I know you’re really busy at work, so I’ll come by during the day time. I can work from here, so it doesn’t matter. I presume you’ll be here after work?” She looked up at Kay, expectantly.

  “I’ll come by in the evenings,” Kay replied, slowly. Of course she was okay to check in on him. Marie expected that she would stay the night, but no. That wasn’t going to happen. Doing this was hard enough, but this wasn’t the time to tell Luke that it was over, not when he was recuperating after surgery to remove cancer cells.

  It would be heartless of her, to walk away now.

  “I have to go,” said Marie, closing down her laptop and gathering her things together.

  “You’re leaving already?” she asked, alarmed. She liked the idea of Marie hanging around, liked the security of having a third-party to absorb the stoniness that would no doubt be present once Luke came out.

  But Marie had walked away towards the shower. She knocked on the door of the bathroom. “How long are you going to be, Luke?” she asked. Kay couldn’t make out his answer. But in the next second, she heard a door open and then he stepped into the kitchen.

  “Hi,” he said, still sounding hoarse. “When did you get here?”

  “Not too long ago.” Her heart missed a beat when he looked into her eyes and they locked gazes. The hard barrier she had been determined to erect between them didn’t even stand a chance.

  Today things were different.

  Now he wasn’t lying in a hospital bed without a voice, nor did he look as weak. Now he resembled the old Luke, with his lips quirking up at the corners. He stood before her, barefoot, and disheveled with his damp hair, looking nothing like the cool, controlling businessman in his suit.

  Tender, ruthless and bittersweet memories rose to the surface, and she melted. For right now, he was hers to have, and she was here to care for him.

  “I have to go now, but Kay’s here,” Maria told him. She sounded optimistically happy, and Kay wondered when she should burst her bubble and let her know that things weren’t so great between them. “She brought you some soup, so you can have that for now. I’ll be over tomorrow. I’m sure you’ll be glad to have her company instead of mine.”

  “Thanks for coming over,” he said, his voice so rough that it barely sounded like him.

  “It was good of her, wasn’t it?” Marie agreed. “Now stop talking and try to get your voice back. See you tomorrow,” she said to Kay, and hugged her goodbye. Kay wondered when and how their relationship had suddenly elevated to bestie level.

  “Are you hungry?” she asked when it was just her and him. It would help if she was busy doing something, so that she didn’t have to stand around awkwardly. This was a new role for her, and for him—something neither of them had envisaged; her being the care-giver and him being vulnerable for the first time since she had known him. A position he probably found as odd as she did.

  “I can do it,” he croaked.

  “You can barely talk,” she said.

  “You don’t have to do this.”

  She picked out two of the cartons, ignoring him. “Which one?” she asked. She’d gotten two different flavors. He nodded to the one on the right. Asparagus soup.

  “I’m sorry if Marie’s put you—” he coughed as he tried to get his words out. “If Marie’s put you—”

  She put a finger to her lips. “Shuush,” she said. “Can’t you even be quiet when you’re told to?”

  He scooted onto the breakfast bar stool and watched her instead. She could feel the heat of his gaze on her back as she looked through the cupboards, trying to find a saucepan.

  “That one,” he said, pointing. “And the wooden spoon is in that drawer under the stove.”

  She nodded, and set to heating his soup up. Glancing around briefly, as she pulled out the spoon from the said drawer, she saw that he’d perched himself on the bar stool, and sat facing her, his hands clasped in front
of him on the kitchen island. It turned awkwardly silent.

  “About…about the other day,” he said, gruffly.

  She didn’t turn around. “What other day?” Though she knew perfectly well what he was alluding to.

  “When you said all those things.”

  “I shouldn’t have said all that.” She still had her back to him. “Not yet, anyway. I should have let you recover first.” The soup was beginning to bubble, so she turned the heat off. She searched through his cupboards again, and found the bowls. Not saying anything, she poured his soup into a bowl, got him a spoon and put the bowl in front of him.

  “Thanks.” He looked slightly sheepish. “Don’t you want any? I can’t eat alone.”

  “I’ll rustle up something when I go home.”

  “You’re not …” his eyes snapped shut momentarily, it was so brief, that had she not known his moods and his facial expressions as intimately as she did now, she might have missed it. He’d expected her to stay over. Probably something that Marie had told him, based on what normal couples did.

  She didn’t say anything. Now would have been the perfect time to remind him of his rules, to throw that in his face, but she wasn’t that cruel.

  He stirred the spoon around the soup, making the steam curl and rise. His brow knitted together and his lips were drawn into a straight line, as if he was thinking, and the thoughts weren’t easy ones. “I—” he looked up at her, his open mouth telling her he was struggling. “I’m sorry about…about what I said to you the other day.”

  “When you called me a pity fuck?” she asked, eager to see how he was going to explain himself.

  “It’s not…” he croaked then shook his head as if it was painful to get the words out. It probably, literally was. Luke Hunter didn’t possess much tact. She could see that he wanted to apologize, but there was no point when he was like this.

  “You should try not to talk,” she advised. She wanted to know, but there was no point in him being so vulnerable when telling her, because she wouldn’t be able to fight back, and she needed to fight back. She needed to let him know how much he had hurt her, and how it still hurt, hearing him say what he had.

  As much as she needed to have it out with him, she couldn’t do it now. It would be a one-sided fight, and she liked to fight fair.

  “Don’t feel you have to do this because Marie put you up to it,” he said slowly.

  “I would have offered to, regardless.”

  “Do it because…” he winced, lifting his hand to his neck. “Because you want to, not because you feel sorry for me.”

  “I’m not doing this because I pity you,” she told him. “I’m doing it because I care.”

  A tiny muscle along his jawline tightened.

  “You can explain all you want later, when you’re feeling better.” She slipped on her jacket. It seemed too soon to leave, but he was going to carry on trying to talk if she stayed, and things weren’t comfortable enough between them that they could sit in silence and just be together.

  It was best if she left.

  “You’re leaving?” His expression was one of disappointment.

  “I’ve got a lot of work to get on with.”

  “Do it here, I’ve got Wi-Fi.”

  Everything about this set up was forced. She didn’t understand how he expected her to continue, to pretend they were in a cozy setup when they so obviously weren’t. “I’d rather go home. Is there anything else you need?”

  He shook his head, looking weak and sorry for himself, and nothing like the Luke she knew.

  Chapter 34

  She was being squeezed in every direction. Everyone wanted a piece of her. Remington wanted updates. The client wanted the best deal. Her team always had questions, and then there was Luke.

  “Who’s keeping you so busy?” Savannah asked.

  “No-one.”

  “Then why didn’t you ever call me back?” Kay swiped a hand over her forehead, feeling guilt wash all over her. “Sorry, Sav,” she said, clutching her cell phone tightly. “I know I’ve been pathetic.” Savannah had called a couple of times during the last few weeks, and each time, Kay had promised she’d call back in the evening but she’d either been busy dealing with the final stages of the Pembroke deal, or, since last week, she’d been going over to Luke’s.

  “You’ve been impossible to get a hold off.”

  “I’ve been drowning in work.”

  “Work, work, work. It’s always work with you.”

  “You know me,” Kay replied.

  “Still, at least it keeps you out of mischief, I suppose,” Savannah said.

  “Sorry.” She felt doubly awful now. Especially given that Savannah only had a few months to go before she had her baby, and Kay had only seen her a couple of times. She’d spent more time with Luke, and was certain that her cousin deserved her loyalty more than Luke did. “Things are just so full on right now.”

  “I hope you’ll be able to make some time for me once the babies come.”

  “I hope so. May, right?” She rubbed her neck, and wondered when she would have time to schedule in an all over body massage. Her body was falling apart. Long days at work and checking in on Luke made life stressful. She was always rushing around.

  “Early May,” Savannah replied.

  “I’ll try and come over and see you before the baby comes,” she promised, making a mental note to herself to spend some time with Savannah. “I will make it up to you. I’ll do lots of babysitting.” How had time slipped by and she saw less of her cousin even though they lived in the same city?

  “Before the babies come.”

  “Right,” she doodled some circles in red biro on the draft copy of the report she was checking. Tonight, she hadn’t gone to see Luke even though passing by his place was becoming as familiar as going home to her own apartment.

  Luke’s hard edges had softened. He seemed almost a different man in some respects, and she wasn’t sure if it was the illness that had given him a new perspective on life, or that he was just more tired, and not as blunt anymore. Either way, she definitely preferred the new him.

  “You’re not listening to me, are you?” Savannah asked.

  “I am,” she insisted, putting down her report. “Of course I am.”

  “So the news about the twins doesn’t have you excited at all?”

  Twins? “What?” She sat up, then sat forward, then stood up, holding her hand to her forehead wondering if she’d heard right. “You’re expecting twins?”

  “Yay!” whooped Savannah. “It only took three tries.”

  “Twins?” Kay repeated, trying to wrap her head around the idea of two babies, and failing. “How? How…”

  “I know, unbelievable, right?” said Savannah, in her most calm and level-headed voice.

  “You must be huge!”

  “Like a whale, and then some.”

  She paced around the living room, imagining Savannah’s world being turned upside down by three children.

  Freaking hell.

  Married, and with three children already.

  Her mother was never going to stop talking about this. Come to think of it, it had been a while since she’d called her mom to catch up on things. She had let everything go, all her closest relationships, and spent the most time with a man she was going to ditch the moment he recovered. She was getting used to the calmer, more laid back Luke, but she wanted a future, and she wasn’t sure he was the man who could give her one.

  “Has Briony managed to get a hold of you?” Savannah asked. “She was asking me for your number again.”

  “Ugh,” Kay groaned, rubbing a hand to her forehead. Briony had called and left her a message, which she had listened to and promptly forgotten about. “She did call, and she left a message...” Freaking hell. She was neglecting everything. At this rate she’d have no cousin or friends left. “I’ll call her, I promise.”

  “I’m glad to hear it’s not only me that you’ve forgotten.”


  “I haven’t forgotten you,” Kay replied defensively. “I’ve been…busy.”

  “Come over,” Savannah offered. “Come over and we’ll catch up. No point me waddling over to yours. Come tonight.”

  “I can’t. I have…”

  “So much on,” said Savannah, finishing her sentence for her. “You sound like Tobias did when I first met him.”

  “How is he?” she asked.

  “Good. Happy, and excited about the birth.”

  “Typical man.” She wondered how happy and excited he would be if he’d had to squeeze out a watermelon from his private parts.

  “Seeing that you’re so busy you don’t have time to fit me in, I’ll let you tell me when you have an available slot for your heavily pregnant cousin.”

  “Don’t be like that,” replied Kay, feeling lousy, and guilty at the same time. Savannah had her life together in a pretty package while she was trying to hold hers together. “I’ll have more time soon, I promise.”

  Luke was due to have another treatment soon and once she had seen him through that, she would walk away.

  And then she would definitely go on Savannah’s man-free diet.

  Chapter 35

  He was still tired.

  Bone-fucking-tired.

  But then Kay walked in, and everything looked so much better. Up until her arrival he had been skulking around the apartment, he’d eaten dinner alone, and he hadn’t expected her to come, not with it being this late.

  “I didn’t think you would come,” he said, walking towards the door. His mood had suddenly lifted.

  “I said I would.” She seemed more cheerful these days, not as wound up as before.

  “Give me those,” he said, taking the grocery bags from her. “You’re too good to me.” He was realizing only now. Better late than never.

  “I know. But I also didn’t want to be on Marie’s bad side.” She cut him a cheeky grin.

  “You’re doing this for her, is that what you expect me to believe?”