Beautiful Nightmare

by Johnna B

  “So she wasn’t raped or nothing, was she?”

  Moochie looked away not able to look his brother in the eyes.

  “Come on, man. Don’t hold out on me.” Kidd’s whole body went completely numb at the thought. He couldn’t imagine another man being inside of her. He was her first. Her one and only, and he wanted it to stay that way. He knew he was thinking selfishly, but he didn’t care. The thought alone made his heart hurt even worse than it already did. He was hurting all the way to his soul. Someone was going to feel his wrath tenfold.

  “Well, sorta, kinda.” Moochie couldn’t seem to find the words.

  “Fuck you mean ‘kind of’? Either she was or she wasn’t.” Every muscle in Kidd’s body felt like it was on fire. He felt it in the pit of his stomach. He was about to send someone to their Maker.

  “Well, from what I saw, they did a number on her ass.”

  The room was spinning and seemed as though the walls were closing in on him fast. He had to grab hold of the walls to keep from falling. He couldn’t explain the feeling that was flowing through him. He felt hot and numb at the same time.

  Punching a hole in the wall, he yelled, “Fuuuuuuuccck!” causing Sena to run back in the room, followed by two nurses.

  “Is everything all right?” the women asked in unison.

  “Yeah, we cool. My brother just a little upset about his girl. That’s all.”

  In walked a doctor. “Deshawn Brown?” The doctor looked back and forth between the two men. He wasn’t the same doctor that had spoken with Moochie prior to Valencia being rushed to surgery.

  “Yeah, what’s going on?” Moochie turned around to face the doctor. Sena sat on the bed to brace herself. Then, she stood up, and then she sat back down. By then, the men were looking at her. She stood back up, then sat back down. She didn’t know what to do with herself.

  Moochie’s heart went out to her because he couldn’t fathom the thought of his brother being taken away. He walked over to her and put his arms around her to help hold her up. Kidd walked on the other side of her.

  “We were able to find the bleeding and stop it. Her colon was also badly ripped. We were able to repair most of the damage. However, we were unable to wake her up from the anesthesia.”

  Moochie tightened his grip, and Sena’s body shook so bad it looked like she was having a seizure. Kidd had to find a seat quickly, his legs felt so wobbly, and his heart felt like it was about explode.

  “Don’t go planning any funeral arrangements. It may just be an allergic reaction to the anesthesia. We’ll know for sure in a couple of hours. At the moment, she’s in recovery now, and only one visitor at a time is allowed.”

  “We can see her?” Kidd asked, looking up.

  “Yes, one at a time and only for a few minutes.”

  Sena’s hyperventilating slowly turned into normal breaths as she thought about seeing her friend again. She started toward the recovery area feeling like she was walking The Green Mile. Just when she had her hand on the handle, a slew of nurses burst past her into the room and told them to stay out.

  “What’s happening now?” Kidd looked like he was about to throw up. He was just walking up to Sena and Moochie when he saw all the nurses and doctors fly into the recovery room. He had stayed a little longer in the room to prepare himself for his encounter with her. He missed her so much it scared him. His anxiety was at an all-time high. He didn’t know if he wanted to hug and kiss her or yell at her from the top of his lungs.

  Chapter 18

  Secrets

  On the other side of the door, Valencia had awakened. She was looking around and watching out of one eye as the nurses checked her vital signs and made sure she was cognitive, taking in her surroundings. The nurses were in their fresh uniforms, the tubes, the IVs, the smell of antibiotics, that awful hospital smell, the cold feeling, and the pain, she experienced them all. All she could do was let the one functioning eye cry. She cried for herself, for the pain, and for Raven. What could a person have done to deserve such a beating? She was thinking about the conversation she had just had with Raven. “What did you do for them to beat me like that?”

  “I ain’t do shit to that bitch. She was just jealous!”

  “Don’t forget, I’ve seen your work.”

  “Whatever,” Raven dismissed her.

  “You can’t be that dumb. You can’t be that damn stupid to think that this was done just out of jealousy. What made you this way? Why are you so fuckin’ evil?”

  “Bitch, you made me this way. You made me mean and evil, and a pussy licker, as you call it, with all that whining and crying. Why won’t they stop teasing me? Can somebody please help me get away from this man? Why won’t my momma help? You needed help, and there I was to take all your pain away. To make sure no one else was able to hurt you. Hurt us! I took in all the abuse, the stankin’-ass kids teasing you ’cause you had piss stains on your clothes. The Uncle Bos, who would rather stick their dick in a child’s mouth than the pussy of a grown-ass woman. That was me, bitch! Me! So you can judge me all you want. Fuck you. No, fuck that! Yeah, I like women because men disgust me. When I see men, all I see is the nasty old men who touched and fondled me as a child—not you, but me!”

  Raven was now crying, but she went on. “But you know what’s so crazy? I don’t like for nobody to touch me. Hell! I beat women until they don’t move no more. Now where that came from, I don’t know. That’s all your anger and rage, not mine. Then, you had the nerve to try to get rid of me. Why? When I did all that for you? When I went through all that shit for you because I knew you wouldn’t make it without me?”

  “How do you know I wouldn’t have been able to get through any of that when you didn’t give me a chance?”

  “Who are you kidding? I mean, like, for real, in real life, for real, for real? You’re too weak. I did all that for you. Don’t I deserve to have a life, to live a little?”

  “Look. I appreciate all that you have done, but, in the end, it’s still my life. Besides, I never knew all of that was going on. You never said anything!”

  “You damn right you didn’t know because I protected you. I did, not your funky crackhead of a mother, not your dear friend Sena, not even that boy you like. But I’m the one you want to get rid of. What the fuck is wrong with that picture? Here I am, protecting you all your life, all your pathetic life, and now, you want to get rid of me. They don’t even know you because, if they did, they would know that half the time they think they’re talking to you, they’re talking to me. You lived with Sena for years? Hmm . . . How do they love you so much but don’t even know you’re a fucking lunatic? Riddle me that,” Raven said with an evil chuckle.

  “You don’t understand. If you get to live, when will I?”

  “Baby, can you tell me your name and birthday?” a friendly looking older lady asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.

  “Valencia Renée Ball. July13, 1982.”

  “Good. Who is the president of the United States?”

  “My president is black,” she sang hoarsely.

  The nurse couldn’t help but laugh. She felt as long as her patient was still able to make a joke and smile through all the tears, then they would be all right. Laughter was good for the soul.

  “Okay. Good. We want you to rest before we allow your visitors to enter.”

  “Visitors? I have visitors with an ‘s’?”

  “Yes, a young lady and a couple of fine young men. Girl, I don’t even want to know how you picked one ’cause I would have taken them both. Honey chile, back in my day, one would have been my husband, and the other would have been what you youngins call my plan B.”

  Valencia wanted to laugh so bad but thought better of it. Even the slightest movement felt like a thousand knives digging into her. She knew it could only be Kidd and Moochie that would make her say such a thing. They were a fine duo.

  “I’ll come back in another hour to check on you.” She started for the door.

  “Wait! Can
you please let me see Deshawn Brown first, please? If only for a few minutes, I need to talk to him first.”

  The nurse walked out of the room to find three anxious faces waiting for answers. Time seemed to stand still as the nurse walked up to them. With everyone holding their breath, it was like everyone exhaled at the same time when they saw her smile appear.

  “She’s awake. We don’t want her to have any visitors for a while, but she really wants to talk to . . .” she paused as she looked at her clipboard. Sena just knew it was her, and Kidd wasn’t so sure. “Deshawn Brown.” Moochie looked surprised. He just knew she would want to have Kidd or Sena with her.

  “Did she know I was out here?” Sena asked, full of attitude.

  “Yes, she did, but she requested to see Mr. Brown,” the nurse said, giving back the same attitude. “Now, back to you. You’re only allowed about five minutes, and I’m counting, so make it quick. Everyone can visit in a few hours.”

  “What’s up, ma?” he said, walking up to her bed and felt slight pain in his chest. It hurt him to see her this way.

  “I just wanted thank you for everything,” she said, trying to keep her composure. She was going through an emotional whirlwind.

  “It was nothing. I would—” he started to say.

  Valencia cut him off midsentence.

  “I know. I know. You’re Mr. Save-a-Ho. I just wanted to say thank you. I don’t know how I could ever repay you.” Now she was crying.

  “I do. You could make my brother happy for the rest of his life.” He tried to look her in her eyes. But one was still closed shut from the swelling, and the other was a blink away from being closed shut itself.

  “I don’t know that I can do that.”

  “Why not?” Moochie asked.

  “I can’t explain it right now.”

  “Well, when, then? Because I think I deserve a little explanation for all this,” Moochie said, doing a sweeping motion with his arms.

  “I know, and I will explain, but I don’t think I can ever be with your brother.” She was crying even harder at the thought of never being with Kidd again. The pain that filled her heart was a million times worse than what her body was feeling.

  “Yo! You still haven’t told me why the fuck not!” Moochie really didn’t want to get mad, but she wasn’t making it easy. Shit! This was his brother, and apparently she was playing with his feelings.

  “Because . . . she . . . won’t . . . fucking let meeeee!” she yelled out.

  “Okay! This visit is over! You are not supposed to be upsetting her.” The nurse burst through the doors.

  “I’m sorry. I’m leaving.” He gave one last look at Valencia and walked out of the room. He could hear her calling his name, but he just kept walking.

  “Are you okay?” the nurse looked at her with concern.

  “Yeah, I’m all right. I just need some rest. I don’t want to see anyone for the rest of the day, please,” she said, turning over on her side. The tears were flowing and seemed to not have an ending in sight.

  “Okay, Ms. Ball has asked me to tell you all that she doesn’t want any more visitors. She’s a little upset.” The nurse shot Moochie a dirty look, and everyone else did too.

  “What y’all looking at me for? I ain’t even do nothing.” He rolled his eyes at them. Shit, screw them. All he was trying to do was help, he thought.

  “Well, what were you two arguing about?” Sena needed to know.

  “I asked her a question, and she couldn’t answer, or rather, she wouldn’t answer. I told her she had a lot of explaining to do, and she went all Sybil on me. She just needs time to rest and think.” He didn’t know what was going on with Vee, but she had better get her story straight real quick.

  Sena sat down in the nearest chair. She didn’t know what the hell was going on. First, Vee disappeared, and then, she showed up half-dead, Moochie ended up with her, and now no one could talk to her ’cause she was upset about something. She needed to talk to her like yesterday. But it would have to wait.

  “Man, what happened in there?” Kidd wanted to know too, because he, also, wanted to see her.

  “I told you. I asked her a question, and she flipped out talking ’bout she wouldn’t let her be with you.”

  “She? Who the fuck is she?” Kidd asked with an almost worried look on his face.

  “Fuck if I know, man. Just try to visit tomorrow,” Moochie said, hunching his shoulders up.

  “Wait a minute. She said that she wouldn’t let her be with me?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Remember that night she called I left to go to her house about three in the morning?”

  “Yeah.”

  “She told me that night that she was going to come back. I asked her who was she, and she got real quiet and switched the subject.”

  “You think that’s what happened to her?” Moochie looked at him like he was crazy.

  “I don’t know, man. I just know that she has mentioned this to me before. I got some thinking to do, so I’ll see y’all tomorrow.” He gave Sena a hug and kiss on the cheek and dapped Moochie.

  Moochie took a squat down in front of Sena and pulled her chin up. He could see that she had been crying again, and her beautiful eyes were red and swollen.

  “Are you gonna be all right?”

  “I think so. I’ll just sit here for a while to clear my head.” She was so distraught she didn’t know what to do with herself.

  “You don’t need to stay here by yourself. You should go home and get some rest.” He hated seeing her this way.

  “Naw, I think I’d rather be here than home alone. I’ll be all right. You go on ahead and handle your business. Are you coming back up here tomorrow?”

  She finally looked him in the eyes, and he could actually feel his heart start skipping beats. She was beautiful, even with puffy, red eyes. He wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be okay. He wanted to kiss her tears away and bring back that smile he hadn’t seen in a while.

  “Yeah, it may be in the evening.”

  “Okay. Thank you for everything, and thank you so much for being there for her. I’ll never forgive myself for not being there for her. I let my ego get the best of me when you called. I’m sorry for having an attitude with you. I had no right to be that way,” she said, defeated.

  “It’s good. Don’t sweat the small stuff. I understand. Do you need anything before I leave?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What’s that?”

  “For you not to leave me.”

  He knew and hoped this was coming; he was already prepared to stay with her. He knew she wouldn’t want to be alone. He could honestly say he was glad she wanted him to be there with her.

  “You want to follow me to my house or go to yours?” She smiled for the first time that day, and Moochie could feel her chipping away at that wall he had built many years ago.

  Chapter 19

  Where Do We Go from Here?

  “You want something to drink?” Sena asked as they walked through her front door. She was so nervous she could feel her palms starting to sweat and her heart rate had gone into overdrive.

  “Yeah, what you got?”

  “Lemonade, Kool-Aid, Vitamin Water, and orange juice.”

  “Man, you gonna name everything in your refrigerator?” He was watching her as he stood in the doorway to the kitchen. She was moving a mile a minute, like she was supernervous. He admired her body and beauty from afar. He was willing himself not to sleep with her, but she wasn’t making it easy on him. The way she moved around, her ass and titties were bouncing all over the place like they had a mind of their own.

  “You asked me what I had. I keep a variety of drinks around, just in case I get a little thirsty,” she said, turning around to find him leaning in the doorway looking superdelectable and sexy. She wanted him in the worst way, but she had to put her feelings in check because it was obvious he didn’t feel the same way. After all, if he did, he would have called.

&nb
sp; He also stood there, taking her all in. She was beyond sexy to him, even with puffy eyes and a sweat suit on.

  “Well, I’ll take some Kool-Aid. It don’t taste syrupy, does it? You ain’t one of them people who keeps pouring until sugar has filled half the pitcher, are you?” he laughed.

  “Noooo, I measure, thank you very much.” She handed him a cup.

  Taking a sip, he said, “This is good. You don’t find too many people who know how to make Kool-Aid that well.”

  “Well, if you had given me chance, you would have seen that I’m multitalented.” It got real quiet. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Make yourself at home while I shower. I smell like the hospital,” she said while practically running past him.

  He could tell that she was really nervous about him being so close. It was like all her sass ran away, and now she was like this shy little girl with a crush.

  He walked around, taking in the décor. She had a nice little three-bedroom apartment. He looked in each room finding a computer room and a workout room. The last room was the bedroom, and it had sexiness all over the room, with a king-size canopy bed with black satin sheets and sheer black curtains that hung down the poles. It looked like there were a hundred candles all over the room, although none seemed to ever have been lit. They had the room smelling real good. He got comfortable on the bed and started flicking the channels on the forty-two-inch plasma screen that was mounted on the wall. He could hear the shower turn off just before she walked into the room soaking wet with nothing on. His dick damn near jumped out of his pants. He wanted to lick every drop of water off her body.

  “Oh shit! I thought you were in the living room,” she said as she ran back into the bathroom. She had no idea he had come into her bedroom or else she would have had a better entrance planned for him. He shocked her, so she did the first thing that came to mind—run.

  “You ain’t gotta run now. I done already seen it.” He laughed so hard he had to sit up because lying down with a hard-on had started to hurt. It was hard as steel.

  “Oh, shut up, you jerk! You weren’t supposed to see anything in the first place,” she yelled out the door, and then she walked out in a floor-length silk black robe and put on a little show with her hips for him with the fabric sticking to her body. He could see every curve.