Senseless Attraction

by Lila Rose

  He said nothing, but I didn’t miss that he tensed at my words. Had I said the wrong thing? I was only telling him what I felt…so maybe that was wrong.

  I was near sleep-land when I heard his reply, “No, I’m anything but nice.”

  Warmth from another body was something that had never woken me before. I opened my eyes and had a semi-freak out. I knew it was Kane, but having him there, in my bed with me, and everything he’d seen last night made my already wild emotions go crazier. I wanted to roll over and attack him. I wanted to kiss, lick, hug, and touch him in every way. I wanted to cry, smile, sing, and scream how happy he made my heart feel.

  He wasn’t like all the others…he was different; he was special.

  But he also wasn’t for me.

  And he never would be.

  We were too different. His mother would never accept someone like me in his life, and I would never want to come between Kane and his family.

  Even if she was a bitch with a capital B.

  That was his life. He was used to money. He’d never have to struggle in life, and I knew that being with me, his life would be full of struggle, full of regret, and I could never do that to him.

  He needed to go back to Donna…that was, if they were actually still broken up.

  He shifted behind me and rubbed the front of his body to my back.

  Did he think I was Donna?

  I needed to get up, but I knew this was the only chance I would get having Kane this close to me again, and I wanted to cherish it a little longer.

  “Morning,” he whispered behind me, and then got up on his elbow to look at me over my shoulder. His smile was pure magic.

  I wanted to cry.

  “H—hey.” My voice broke.

  “You okay?”

  I shrugged. He moved my hair gently over my shoulder, sending tingles down my back.

  “I need to get up,” I said, and flung the cover from my body. I went to get out of bed, until his arm wound around my waist and pulled me back against him. But apparently, that wasn’t enough; he moved me so I was lying on my back and he was looking down at me with a concerned expression upon his face, his brows drawn together.

  “Skylar…”

  “I—I have to get to the hospital.”

  “I’ll take you in a minute.”

  “No. I’ll take a bus; you should get home.” To Donna.

  He closed his eyes and when he opened them, all I saw was warmth and humour. “Don’t close me out,” he whispered. “I know you’re probably freaked about a lot of things…but don’t close me out, please.”

  It was my turn to close my eyes, so I could block out his kind words and the tears that threatened to break free; only to open them wide in shock when I felt his lips upon mine.

  Holy heck.

  I wasn’t strong enough for this. I wasn’t strong enough to push him away.

  One time wouldn’t hurt…right?

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought him closer. He took the hint and deepened the kiss; our tongues fought for control.

  His hand threaded through my hair, tightly gripping it, causing me to moan against his mouth. That must have urged him on because his hand left my hair and went down to my waist to slip up the tee I was wearing. I’d put it on during the night because I was no longer comfortable in the dress I had been wearing.

  His finger gently stroked my stomach, causing butterflies to take flight. My own hands left his neck and made their way down his back to slip under his shirt.

  I woke out of my kissing slumber when I felt his finger trace under my boob. I broke free from the kiss and pushed against his chest.

  “No.”

  “Shit. Sorry. God, I’m sorry.” He rested his forehead against mine. “I seem to get carried away where you’re concerned.” He smiled.

  I pushed against his chest again and he moved back to look down at me. “I…” Hell, this was going to hurt me, but it had to be done. I glared up at him. “Just because you didn’t get what you wanted from Donna last night, doesn’t mean I’m the easy target, just ‘cause I’m all messed up right now.”

  “Sky, I would never—”

  “Save it for your girlfriend. Move. I need to get showered and changed.”

  He smiled, and then he started chuckling. Which pissed me off.

  “Move,” I snapped.

  “No. I see what you’re doing. Giving me your attitude when things start getting too much for you. But it won’t work. Yes, I shouldn’t have…well, you know. Still, it had nothing to do with Donna and what she offered me last night. Because honestly, she was far from my mind, and has been since I sat down at our history desk. You are the one who consumes my thoughts these days.” He ran his finger gently over my cheek.

  “Don’t. Don’t do this; you’re not thinking straight. Things got carried away and now you’re thinking with what’s down there.” I gestured with my eyes to his lower half. “When things settle down, you’ll regret everything you’ve just said. This…us, won’t work. I don’t want it to. I never think of you. I don’t want you.”

  He laughed. I punched his chest.

  “All right, babe. I see this was too soon and too much for you to handle right now. But let me tell you, before I let you crawl back into your hard shell, that I know when you’re lying. You want this. You want me, and no matter how much you fight, I’ll keep coming back for more until I wear you down.”

  My heart exploded. That was the only excuse I had for staring at him, flabbergasted. I had never known Kane to be this…sure of himself before.

  He chuckled. “I can see I’ve shocked you, so we’ll leave things…for now.” He pecked me on the lips and rolled away, placing his hand behind his head and smiling like he just won the lottery.

  “Get a move on, Sky. I’ve got to drop you off, go home, shower, and come pick you up again.”

  I shook my head to clear it. Did he really say everything he just said?

  “Um, no. I mean, you can’t pick me up. Um, Jessie said she was.” I needed time away from him to gain back my sanity.

  “Really? And when did you organise this?” He smiled.

  Damn.

  “Ah…” I sat up and placed my feet on the floor. Taking a deep breath, I said, “Kane, I—I just…please, let me just have some time.”

  “So you can convince with yourself that this isn’t right? No.”

  I stood, turned, and glared down at him with my hands on my hips. “Kane. I don’t need this right now. My momma was shot last night; all my thoughts are wrapped tightly around her, and then you just dump all this shit on me right now? When all I want is to hurry and go to the hospital to see her. Do you think this is fair? You need to get it through your thick head that we are never going to happen. You still have a girlfriend for God’s sake,” I shouted.

  He was in front of me in a second, his hands at my waist, and pulled me forward so we were toe-to-toe. “My timing does suck; I’ll give you that. But I want you to understand that I do not have a girlfriend. And no, this wasn’t fair to drop all this on you right now…so I’ll wait. I know you’ll have more defences up, but I’ll knock them down, and any excuse you give me won’t be enough. This…us…is happening. Now, go shower, babe.” With that, he kissed me on my nose, turned me, and gently shoved me forward. My body did the rest; it grabbed clothes and went off to the bathroom for a shower.

  My mind was still spinning from this new Kane and the way he was making me feel.

  I was in deep doo-doo.

  All of a sudden, it was hard to breath. There was a heavy weight on top of me and I needed it off. I opened my eyes and found what that weight was…Tristan.

  He had his left side on the bed, but the rest of him was over the top of me. His arm and leg were flung over my chest and both of my legs. His head was rested upon my shoulder, snuggled up to my face, and for the life of me, even though it was hard to breath, I didn’t have the heart to wake him. He looked so peaceful; usually his brooding attitude an
d the permanent scowl showed people that he wasn’t to be messed with. But the way his face was relaxed then, he looked like a big, soft, cute, nice teddy bear.

  Not that I would ever tell him that.

  He started to move. I panicked and closed my eyes, faking sleep. I felt him stretch, and then he stilled when he figured out someone else was in bed. His heat left me; the bed dipped enough that I knew he’d sat up, and then I heard his feet hit the floor.

  “Shit,” he whispered. My heart clenched. “What the hell was I thinkin’?”

  Hurt sliced through me. Tears welled behind my closed eyes. He was disgusted because he woke up beside the school’s nerd. A tear escaped. I rolled to my side away from him so he wouldn’t witness the pain that cut deep in my heart and stomach.

  I couldn’t blame him for thinking anything bad. I knew I was nothing to look at, and I also knew Tristan was way out of my league.

  What was he thinking?

  And what was I thinking when he was being so nice to me, helping me through last night? I should have known that it would never change the situation between us.

  I should have known.

  I had no one else to blame for the pain I was feeling but myself.

  With minimal movement, I wiped the tears away. I had to fix this…but how?

  Rolling over, I opened my eyes. They landed on Tristan, who was sitting on the side of the bed, but his eyes were on me.

  “Morning.” I smiled. It nearly faltered, but I forced it to stay in place.

  “Hey…look, I have to go. I gotta take Aaron’s car back.”

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  “Listen, ah, nothing’s changed between us, so don’t get any ideas we’re together now or anything.” He laughed.

  “I know…I mean…I won’t.” I sat up and pulled the blankets up my body, trying to keep the heat in, but his words and the frustrated look upon his face made me feel cold to the bone.

  “Good. ‘Cause you aren’t exactly my type; I’d never go for someone like you.”

  My eyes closed. I took a deep breath and opened them to glare at him. “I get it, Tristan. Boy, do I get it. You don’t need to be an ass about it.”

  He looked down between his feet to the floor. “See, I do, because that’s what I am.” Shaking his head, he looked back at me with a sneer. “We’re done with the tutoring crap. I’ll work it out from here. I don’t need your help.”

  Clenching my fist didn’t help me fight the tears; some escaped. He saw them, and for a second he seemed regretful, but it soon changed to a scowl.

  “Thank you, Tristan, for telling me how it is. But do you know what? You really didn’t need to. I already knew you were mortified to have my help in the first place, and even more so if someone caught us together. I’m the nerd, the short, thick glasses-wearing loser. You’re…well, you’re you.” I gestured at him with my hand. “But again, thank you for setting me straight with something I already knew, and especially for doing it today, after the night I just had.” I flung the covers back, got out of bed, and stalked to the door. “I still want to thank you for…last night.” My voice broke.

  I cleared it and continued, “Now, I’m going for a shower. I expect you’ll be gone before I get out.” I looked away from him, out into the hall. “You’re right, Tristan…what the hell were you thinking?” With that, I walked out, down the hall, and into the bathroom. Once I had the door closed, I leaned against it, my breathing laboured. My hand went to my chest as the first sob escaped. I slid down the wall onto the floor and broke down.

  I cried for caring, for his hurtful words, the look upon his face that wouldn’t disappear from my mind.

  Only I didn’t let myself cry for long. I felt stupid for crying in the first place, when I should have known all along that it would turn out this way. He was just like the others…but in a way so much worse.

  After I showered and got dressed, I found Kane in the kitchen. He’d made me some toast, which I took and ate on the way to the hospital. We pulled up out the front. He turned to me and grabbed my wrist before I could make a quick escape.

  “I’m sure you’ll ring Jessie to come and get you after here, so I’ll let you.”

  I snorted. He’d let me?

  “I know you need time to take in what I’ve said to you, so I’ll give it to you, but remember that no matter how much you’ll fight against what’s going to happen between us, I’ll be ready to fight back.” He leaned closer and whispered, “And I’ll win.” His fingers went into my hair and he pulled me forward; our lips touched with a quick rough kiss. “Looking forward to it, babe.” He let go, and I staggered from the car and into the hospital, dazed and confused.

  I shook my head and smiled to myself, because what Kane didn’t realize was that I also liked to fight, and I didn’t like to lose.

  It was never going to happen between us. For his sake, in the long run, I would never let it happen. I just couldn’t for the life of me understand the sudden change in Kane.

  “Skylar?” I heard a quiet voice call.

  Turning, I came face-to-face with Alexandra.

  “Hi.” I smiled, but it faded once I took in her red eyes and sad expression. “What’s happened? Are they okay?”

  “What? Oh, oh yes, our parents are fine. I just asked the nurse. I’m working my way to go in there; I just don’t want Dad to think I’m a mess because of him.”

  “Then why…”

  “Why am I a mess? Another reason.” She smiled sadly and looked out the front doors.

  “That guy from last night?”

  Still not meeting my gaze, she nodded and bit her bottom lip.

  “Do I need to beat the guy up?”

  She giggled. “No. But thank you. It’s just me being silly.”

  “Wanna talk about it?”

  She smiled, her eyes warming. “Maybe later…and maybe you could tell me why you walked in here looking so…”

  “Freaked?” I offered. Because I was freaked in a big way.

  “Yes.” She laughed.

  “Sure. I’d like that.”

  “Great. After we see our parents, we could go somewhere for a coffee or something.”

  “That’d be great. Would you mind if I asked my friend along? You’ll like her, and then I won’t have to repeat it to her later.”

  Her brows furrowed. “That’s fine.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She shook her head. “Sorry, yes, I’m sure. I was just…don’t worry; I’ll tell you later.”

  I grinned. “Deal.” I turned to walk alongside her, knowing our parents were on the same small floor and hallway.

  “When I spoke to the nurse earlier, she informed me that our parents have been moved to the second floor and into the same room.”

  “That’s good then. At least I’ll get to thank your dad at the same time as I tell my Momma off.”

  *

  The door to the room was closed; we knocked, and a female called for us to enter. Skylar opened the door and walked in first. I spotted her mom in the first bed closest to the door, and she had tears shining in her eyes seeing it was Skylar. She held open her arms and Skylar dove into them.

  “Oh, my baby girl. I am so sorry to scare you.”

  “You will never do it again,” Skylar scolded.

  I looked over to the far bed and found Dad sitting up in bed smiling at me, our own eyes glistening with tears. I was across the room in seconds and in his arms, being careful of the wound in his shoulder.

  “Dad, you are not to go out to the supermarket again on your own.”

  “I know, sweetheart. I can’t believe I nearly left you.”

  More tears came, and I held back a sob. “I can’t lose you too Dad, never. You have to be safe.”

  “I will, princess. I will be.”

  “Don’t worry, Alex. If I know my Momma, she’ll be your dad’s angel on his shoulder from now on to repay him for stepping in last night.” I looked over to Skylar sitting on a chair beside her mom’s b
ed.

  “You know me too well, child.” Her mom smiled, patting Skylar’s cheek. “Hello, Alexandra. I’m Jenny, and I owe my life to your father.” I glanced back at Dad who was now blushing. “Your Dad has told me so much about you; I feel I know you already.”

  “The same goes with me,” Dad said, looking at Skylar. “I’ve heard all about you.”

  “I’m sure she’s had wonderful things to say about me.” Skylar rolled her eyes, but smiled at the same time.

  “That’s right, girl. How you never listen, how you wear that junk on your face, and how you’re doing the whole football team because of your reputation.” She grinned. I choked, and I was sure Dad did as well, only he hid it behind a cough.

  “You forgot the baseball team as well, Momma; how could you?” Sky glared. My Dad and I started laughing. I had just witnessed the very wonderful, sweet, but strange relationship Skylar and her mom had.

  “So I see you two have already met,” Dad said.

  “Yes, last night,” Skylar said.

  “We’re going for coffee later,” I added.

  “Oh, Mick. I do hope your daughter might be able to rub off some niceness onto my brat of a teenager.”

  “I don’t know about that; yours seems normal enough. It may help my bookworm of a daughter to get out more, instead of taking care of the house and her father.”

  Skylar scoffed and said, “Now, now, ‘rents. Where would the two of you be if we weren’t around?”

  “Rich.” Mrs James smiled.

  “Sane,” my dad offered. I hit him in the arm. “Ow. See? Look at that abuse.”

  “Children these days.” Mrs James shook her head. Both our parents laughed at their own joke. Skylar and I raised our eyebrows at each other.

  We all looked to the door as a nurse walked in. “Sorry girls, but it’s time for them to rest.”

  I looked down at Dad; he seemed tired. I wanted to stay longer, but I knew he needed his rest.

  Skylar must have read the same from her mum, because she said, “Momma, you look buggered. You need to rest so you can get home to cook me tea, woman.”

  Mrs James laughed and then said, “A rest would be good, baby girl.”

  I looked down at Dad; he smiled up at me, nodded, and said, “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m fine now, and I’ll be out in no time.” I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.