If Your Wife Only Knew

by Cydney Rax

He burst out laughing. She liked that she could make him laugh. “We’re going, then. I’m serious. Make a list. We are going to have a good time. It’s time for us to stop letting life pass us by.”

  The more they talked, the more excited Alexis felt about the future. She hadn’t felt that way in a long time. She and Varnell conversed for an hour. The only reason she ended the call was because her cell phone began overheating.

  “I really do have to go but I must say that I’ve enjoyed you.” She laughed then stopped. “How long has it been since I’ve enjoyed something simple like this. Oh, that came out totally wrong. I’m not calling you simple.”

  “I know what you meant. And I understand if you have to go. But next time we talk it will be face-to-face. How’s that sound?”

  She thought about Rashad. He was so busy he’d never even know about Varnell. And even if he did, and he got in his feelings, that wouldn’t be her concern.

  “That sounds good, Varnell.” She opened up a notebook app in her phone and typed, “Relationship Goals.”

  “I am starting my list,” she sweetly told him.

  They made plans to meet up very soon.

  Alexis and Regina, the chick she met at the outdoor café, kept in touch via text. The next Saturday afternoon, she picked up Regina in her Benz and drove to an exclusive spa in a ritzy part of town. Once they checked in, Alexis decided to explain herself after Regina kept giving her perplexed looks.

  “I was your age once. The early twenties can be a tough and confusing time. And last time I saw you, you looked like you could use some good old-fashioned spoiling.”

  Warm feelings flooded through Regina.

  “I-I can’t believe this,” she sputtered. “I barely know you. And you’re being so nice to me. I’ve never had a damned body scrub exfol-exfo—”

  “Exfoliation.”

  “Yeah, that.” Regina’s voice was filled with amazement as she read aloud their schedule.

  “Never had a seaweed wrap, a French pedicure, a full-body hot stone massage, a fucking Playboy wax.”

  “Welcome to the Weekend Wives Club.”

  “And you don’t need me to give you ten or twenty dollars?”

  “You’re funny. No, it’s cool. When I get paid, someone else gets paid, too.”

  “Damn, this is crazy. It seems like my man should be doing this . . .”

  “I was wondering if you were still with him. And you’re right. He should be doing this. And that’s exactly why I feel sorry for you.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Don’t be offended. I’m not trying to make you feel unworthy or bad. But I meant that as a side, you take a lot of shit you don’t deserve.”

  “I’m not—”

  “Regina, you are not his woman. Let’s get that out of the way right now.”

  “I may not be his main woman, but I don’t appreciate being called a side chick. That’s way worse than a baby momma.”

  “He’s a truck driver. They can make up to five g’s a month. Has he ever given you money?”

  “No, not really.”

  “Have you ever asked?”

  “No, I got a job at the medical center. I make my own money.”

  “That’s dumb. You’re assuming all the risk of being with him. You’re probably having unprotected sex. You don’t know if he’s married to a whack job that might come for you one day. And most importantly, you’re giving up your most precious goodies from your treasure chest but you’re not getting anything of value in return. Great sex can’t pay bills.”

  Alexis studied Regina. “The sex is amazing, isn’t it?”

  “Hell yeah.”

  “I knew it. Hmm. All I can say is if you’ve got the good-good and you’re giving it away for free, then that’s on you.”

  “I don’t know about that,” Regina said angrily. “I don’t want him to think I’m a gold digger.”

  “Oh, like me? Is that what you’re saying?”

  Regina whispered, “No.”

  “It’s okay to say whatever you’re thinking because I plan to say what I am thinking.”

  “I can see that.”

  “Look at this ring! See that one? I got those from a well-off ex. These are my war medals . . . the ones I decided to keep . . . as a reminder.”

  “Those are nice,” Regina said. “But you seem angry. If a man gave me money, or jewelry, and a car, I’d be doing the happy dance.”

  “You think I’m angry?” Alexis relaxed as her back was getting massaged. “You’re right. I get mad at my guy at times. I love him, he knows it, and he can be full of shit. I even get mad at myself. Being about this life can cause drama, and it’s hard to break things off. But more than anything, I’m angry at the wives because he doesn’t deserve their trust. They should know their man. At home he is the happy husband. But once he’s outside the door, he’s Rico Suave. And he is lying to us. You can’t have an affair and not tell lies. But if he told her the truth, he’d be dead. And he doesn’t want that.”

  “Why is it about what he wants?”

  “Because that’s how the game is played. He knows he wants some drama-free pussy. A woman that strokes his ego. A woman with low self-esteem.”

  Regina frowned. “You got any more of them cigarettes you carry in your purse?”

  “Yes. I do have them, but no, I won’t let you start this nasty habit. We’ll find a better way for you to handle what you’re going through.”

  The ladies enjoyed their massages and continued chatting, providing mutual therapy to each other.

  “Well, Alexis, if what you’re saying is true, why wouldn’t the wives just leave instead of sticking with these losers?”

  “Oh, that’s easy. When it comes to cheating husbands, there are four different types of wives: the ones that think he’s not doing anything, but he is; the ones that think he’s doing something, but he’s not; the ones that don’t think he’s doing anything, and he isn’t; and the ones that think he is doing something, and yes, she’s on it, because the bastard definitely is.”

  “Damn shame. I’m starting to hate my man just listening to you.”

  “Don’t hate him. Love yourself, Regina. We gotta learn to love ourselves.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.” She scratched her head. “I’m learning from you, Alexis.”

  “I have so much more to learn, too, girl. Especially now that his wife knows I exist.”

  “I wouldn’t ever want to meet my man’s wife.”

  “And trust me,” Alexis assured her, “he’s not trying to let that happen, either.”

  “I think I get it now. He’s having his cake and eating it, too. And the man can’t let those two worlds bump into each other. It would be too messy. Like an accident that shuts down the highway.”

  “If he doesn’t want the accident to happen, then he needs to get out the driver’s seat.”

  “Okay, but what about us?” Regina asked. “Don’t we gotta get out the seat, too?”

  “Oh, we will get out the seat when we get tired. But a woman that knowingly messes with a married man is a stubborn bitch. It’s like Area Fifty-one. The more you’re warned not to drive there, not to get out your car, and not to take photos, the more your ass wants to do it.”

  When they got their Playboy wax, and the hot liquid was poured on her vagina then ripped off, Regina thrashed her legs and squealed in pain.

  “Damn, that hurt.”

  “Don’t worry. It won’t hurt for too long. Anyway, it’s a good kind of pain. And we women must go through a lot to get what we really want. It’s always been that way. So I have an assignment for you, Regina.”

  “You have a what?”

  “I want you to confront your man, right now. Come on. Pick up the phone and call him.”

  “I knew there had to be a catch to all this expensive treatment.”

  Alexis laughed. “Look, I want you to enjoy your special day because, believe it or not, you deserve it. But stop putting off the inevitable. I see myself in y
ou so much. I want you to do right now what I should have done a long fucking time ago.”

  “Whatever,” Regina said, but she did what Alexis asked of her. The ladies were moved to another room where they sat in cushy lounge chairs so they could receive deluxe pedicures. Regina gave Alexis the full name of her boyfriend. She told her where he was born. His age. Date of birth and other identifiable family info. Then, looking scared to death, Regina got her man on the phone. She placed the call on speaker. She didn’t care about the odd looks the manicurist gave her. She finally was ready to unload her heart of all the questions she’d wanted to ask him since the day they started having sex. While Regina was talking to him, Alexis was on her own phone doing all kinds of web searches.

  “Um, Lance. I wanna ask you something.”

  “I’m driving. I’m bored. Go ahead.”

  “Why haven’t you ever asked me over to your crib?”

  “Huh? I-I already told you. I live with my crazy-ass family.”

  “I’ve met crazy-ass families before. It wouldn’t be a big deal if you introduced us. Is it true that the real reason you’ve never invited me is because you stay with a woman?”

  “I told you who I stay with. And they’re female family members.”

  “Do you sleep with any of the women that you stay with?”

  “What the fuck? What are you getting at?”

  “Lance, you can tell me anything you think I want to hear. But until you can prove to me that your ass ain’t married and living with a woman you’re fucking, we are through. If I can’t come to your house, then you can’t come to mine.”

  Lance was silent.

  “I know you heard me,” Regina told him.

  “You are spazzing big time. I’m single.”

  Alexis waved frantically at Regina. She handed over her cell phone and showed her the website she had located.

  “Lance, if you’re single, then why am I looking at a marriage record of a Lancelot Dewain Tyjon Perryman who was married in Montgomery County on February twelfth five years ago and who lives at 4023 Hummingbird Road which is the exact same address I’ve seen on your driver’s license?”

  Lance was silent.

  “You and Shantay Francesca Jones were married by a Reverend Thomas Phillip Meriweather—”

  He began yelling, “I never liked your weak ass anyway. You got a lot of nerve spying on me. You’re a damned stalker. Lose my number, bitch. You better not come near my house, either.”

  Regina hung up.

  “You’re right, Alexis. I deserve better. And so does his stupid-ass wife.”

  Chapter 15

  It was Saturday, August 2. The weather was picture perfect.

  Rashad had a rare day off. And he was eager to do something spontaneous. He noticed how Alexis had been acting lately, and it made him feel uncomfortable. He loved the old Alexis, but the new one, it seemed, had become paranoid. He wondered if she’d ever be the same woman again.

  So that morning, he stuck around the house until Kiara packed up her car and left. Last night, she’d told him that she was driving Myles and a couple of his friends to the outskirts of Austin. At the last minute, she had signed Myles up to attend a sports, music, and arts day camp that would be held from mid-morning to late afternoon.

  “You are the dopest mother ever. This is how I like to see you behave. Bye, you two. Be safe and have fun.” Rashad waved at his family as they told him good-bye.

  As soon as they left, he went into his van, which had been returned from the repair shop. He retrieved a bag of new clothes he’d recently purchased. He got showered, dressed, and drove the sedan to Nicole’s. When he pulled in front of her house, he reached down in the backseat and removed another plastic shopping bag.

  Instead of using his key, Rashad rang the doorbell. She answered and greeted him with a happy smile.

  “Happy birthday, Nicky.”

  She squealed in delight when he handed her a tiny box of chocolates and a greeting card.

  “Wait, what’s all this? You already took me out for my birthday.”

  “I know. But since today is your actual birthday, I thought I’d surprise you with a little present.”

  “You’re too sweet. Come on in.”

  Rashad watched her booty jiggle like a hula dancer as she sashayed in front of him.

  “Mmm mmm mmm. You are fine from behind.”

  “Oh, stop.” She laughed. “No, don’t stop. Keep going.”

  Nicole felt excited, like she was in a wonderful dream. He’d texted her last night and informed her he was popping over in the morning. The only thing he told her was to look cute and dress comfortably. So when she woke up and got ready, she meticulously applied eye liner, eye shadow, thick mascara, and dusted her cheeks with blush. And the orange-and-white summer dress she had on was from Nordstrom Rack. Her cute leather flats and studded cross-body purse completed her look.

  Rashad admired her and nodded.

  “Okay, number one, you look good from the front, too. And you rocking that hairstyle.” He reached out and smoothed her curls. He gave her a light, friendly kiss on the cheek.

  She said thanks but her face was punctuated with a frown.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Never mind.”

  Nicole stared at every inch of Rashad. He made a simple black t-shirt, jeans, and hightops look sexy. She thought Kiara was a fool not to keep heavy tabs on her man. She couldn’t believe it when Rashad had recently admitted to her that his wife didn’t always meet his needs. He could be lying, she thought, but what if he’s telling the truth.

  “Now look at your card.”

  She tore open the envelope and glanced at her birthday card. She gasped when a fifty-dollar Macy’s gift card fell out. “That’s so nice of you.” She read the card but noticed he didn’t sign it. She didn’t care. He’d never given her a gift before and she was pleasantly surprised.

  “So, here’s the deal. I have plans for us. But first I gotta do something.”

  Rashad reached inside the shopping bag and removed a purple silk scarf. It was pretty and lightweight.

  “Um, don’t judge me, but someone left this at one of the houses I am restoring. It still has the price tag on it. They never came and got it, so—”

  “OMG, that’s their loss. I’ll take it. It’s too hot to wear it but I can put it in my drawer.”

  “Actually, I have a better idea.”

  Rashad stepped behind Nicole. She smelled so good he was dying to kiss her neck, but he resisted. He wrapped the scarf around her eyes and tied it in the back.

  “I can’t see.”

  “That’s the point.”

  “Oh, you’re really getting me turnt up.”

  He led her out of the house and locked the door behind them. She took small, measured steps until she was safely seated in his car. He got in and they drove off.

  “Where are you taking me?”

  “You’ll see when we get there.”

  “Literally!”

  Nicole sat back and enjoyed the ride. XM Satellite radio was playing some romantic R & B music, which made her feel like Rashad was the type of man who was into details. She wanted to pinch herself. Even though she was happier than she’d been in a while, she still felt cautious on the inside. She enjoyed the feeling of meeting someone, connecting, and becoming a part of each other’s lives. And now the same jittery butterflies snuck up in her stomach again.

  Rashad decided to turn off the radio. He popped in a CD. The music of Faith Evans began playing.

  “Oh, that’s my jam. I can’t believe you remembered how much I love her.”

  “I pay attention to what you tell me.”

  “Good. But why?”

  She got scared when she didn’t hear him answer right away. She wanted to remove the scarf so she could peep his facial expression.

  “Just sit back and enjoy being chauffeured. We gonna be driving another forty minutes.”

  “That’s fine.”


  After a while, Nicole felt Rashad casually place his hand on her bare thigh and let it rest there. She bit her bottom lip. Tears sprang into her eyelids. His touch made Nicole feel weak, like she was losing control.

  “You’re so sexy, Rashad.”

  “You think?”

  When he fell silent again, she knew it was a good thing.

  Just like he promised, she could feel the car’s speed slowing down after an enjoyable forty-minute drive along the highway. Soon she could tell that her window was rolling down slightly.

  “You smell anything, Nicky?”

  She sniffed and breathed in grains of sand and the fragrance of the ocean. “I think I know where we are.”

  When their speed greatly decreased, the car began to idle. Rashad removed the scarf from Nicole’s head. She squinted as her eyes adjusted to the sun’s brightness.

  “The Bolivar ferry?”

  “You’re a genius.”

  They pulled in line behind all the other vehicles and waited another half hour before they were able to board. Rashad carefully drove his car onto the ferry and after a while they were on their way, lazily drifting over the waterway. Their fellow passengers happily chatted and took generous numbers of photos. While they enjoyed the ride, Rashad handed Nicole a plastic bag filled with stale bread and corn chips.

  “Here,” he said. Together they tossed a handful of food over the side of the boat. They laughed as they watched the seagulls and pelicans circle the ship and swoop down to snatch the bread in their beaks. The birds squawked and flapped their wings and Nicole couldn’t help but notice their freedom. To Nicole, the smell of fish, the breezy wind that caressed her cheeks, plus the dolphins gracefully swimming alongside the ship made the day feel romantic. Like the prelude to a honeymoon.

  “I’m having such a good time; I can’t even believe we’re here.”

  “Glad you’re enjoying yourself. You’ve been through a lot. It’s about time you experienced fun in your life.” Nicole realized that Rashad really did listen to her. When she recently divulged the ugly details of her past, she felt scared and insecure. She told him how her exboyfriend, Ajalon Cantu, got locked up for unlawful distribution of a controlled substance. And how at first she was loyal; she visited him in jail, deposited money on his account, and accepted his collect calls. But she grew weary of putting up money for his bonds. She despised the whole idea of an imprisoned boyfriend. It was expensive as hell. And the physical distance made her depressed. She got mad at Ajalon for being stupid enough to get caught selling drugs. In the beginning of their relationship, he made her feel safe, but later she felt lonely. He’d made foolish decisions just when she was starting to believe they’d get married and become a family. But his drug involvement made life scary and complicated. She decided to dump him and leave Alabama. That’s how she ended up in Houston.