I could tell he wanted to move toward me, but he resisted and remained planted several feet away.
I must’ve appeared like I was cowering from him. What he didn’t realize was that I wasn’t afraid of him. I was afraid of how I reacted when I was near him. People didn’t scare me. This weakness I felt when he drew close was terrifying, though.
I fought to reassure him quickly. I didn’t want him to feel like he had scared me. He’d wonder why and ask me questions I wasn’t ready to answer. “I’m sorry. I just really don’t like surprises.”
His brows pinched together as he grabbed the back of his neck and blew out an exaggerated breath. “That’s an understatement.”
It was time to shake this whole ordeal off. So that’s what I made up my mind to do. A subject change was definitely in order. “Do you feel like pizza?”
Cameron sent me a questioning look. “Pizza?” When I nodded, he added, “Yeah, I like pizza.”
“I like Pizza Garden.” I grabbed the menu attached to a magnetic clip on my refrigerator. “How about you?”
His dumbfounded expression indicated he was confused by my quick about-face. “That sounds…good?”
I understood that he was asking if I was good with what had just happened between us, and not whether the pizza was any good. But I didn’t acknowledge his lingering question. I didn’t really care if his inquiry was left dangling in the air between us, I would ignore it just the same.
“I like the veggie blast, but I bet you like the mighty meat.” I took my cell from my pocket and began to dial, but Cameron grabbed the phone from my hand. I guess I should’ve anticipated that. This guy really distracted my focus.
“Are we going to just pretend like everything’s fine and order pizza?” His hazel eyes begged me for answers, but he wouldn’t get any.
“Is that okay?” If it wasn’t, then I’d have to do something I really didn’t want to do. I’d have to tell him to leave.
He drew in another deep breath. I may have overdone the pleading in my speech. “Okay. I didn’t mean to surprise you. I won’t let it happen again.” Then, with that intense look he liked to shoot in my direction, he began speaking again. “Let’s have the pizza delivered, and then we can talk about our carnival plans.”
“I actually haven’t been to a carnival before.” I thought Cameron would choke on his pizza at my comment. I mean, I wouldn’t actually let him choke. I’d been trained to do the Heimlich.
So here it comes. He’d realize I was weird and not want to be my friend anymore. “Well, it’s never too late for your first time.” What? He didn’t ask why I’d never been as he sputtered his words amongst scattered coughs.
“I don’t even know what really is even at a carnival, other than some rides.”
He set his slice of pizza onto his paper plate, and again, I prepared myself for a judgmental response—or at least an uncomfortable question or two.
“You’re going to love it.” His eyes widened, and a smile stretched across his face. “There are a ton of games. I’m pretty good at them, so I could win you a prize.” The confidence he had in his statement wasn’t mistaken for arrogance. “And the junk food is amazing. I love funnel cake, and caramel popcorn, and cotton candy.”
I had never even heard what a funnel cake was, but it did sound delicious.
“Plus the soft pretzels, and nachos, and chili dogs.”
“You eat all that junk in one night?” That was quite the menu he spewed out.
“Absolutely! And we ride the Ferris wheel, and Tilt-a-Whirl, and Merry Mixer, and Scrambler.” Then he let out a small laugh. “Louis used to get really nauseous, so I’m not sure how much he’ll eat before getting on the rides.”
“It sounds like fun.” It really did.
“I’m super excited to get to share your first time with you. I can’t wait to see the look on your face when you experience it. I seriously look forward to sharing your enjoyment.” This time, he didn’t surprise me. I watched him reach across the table. I even let him brush his fingers across mine.
But what I didn’t expect was that his touch would be so warm and comforting. I doubted that I’d ever had such a response to a simple touch before. He made me feel safe and, like, maybe I could trust him. That thought forced me to yank my hand away with more force than was necessary. This was crazy. I didn’t trust men. I didn’t think I trusted anyone, really.
Watching his empathetic expression and questioning eyes caused my heart rate to kick up its pace. Shortness of breath followed, and if I could hold off the hyperventilating, I’d keep myself from going into a full panic attack. I don’t do panic attacks, I reminded myself. Well, at least I hadn’t in a really long time.
“Lex, I’m not sure why I make you so uneasy, but I really like spending time with you. I promise that I’m a faithful friend. If there’s ever something you want to tell me, I can keep a secret.” He seemed genuine, and I really wanted to believe him. I had been carrying so many secrets for so long that I truly became quite exhausted with all the heavy burden.
“Cam, there’s so much you don’t know about me. And quite honestly, I’m really not ready to share. I didn’t have a very good childhood, and I don’t want to talk about it. I’m not saying I won’t talk about it someday…I just don’t want to right now.” It actually felt pretty good admitting that much. “I’ve never been to a carnival, but I have seen the rides from the highway. When I was a kid, I wondered what it’d be like to go to one. Once I was old enough to go by myself, I realized I’d have to go by myself.” I extended my arm across the table and sought out his hand. “Thank you for offering to be the one to take me. I’m actually very excited about it.” I probably sounded insincere, but I was very much looking forward to it.
I became more and more excited about the carnival as the week rolled by. I’d told myself numerous times over the years that I could do anything I wanted now that I was grown. But attending such a fair had been unattainable for so long that I thought I had lost interest in it until Cam asked. Now I couldn’t wait.
I agreed to pick up Charlie and meet Cameron and Louis there. I was so excited that, by the time I arrived at her apartment, I could practically feel myself jumping up and down inside like a little kid on the way to see Santa Claus.
“Can we stop by the ATM on the way?” Charlie asked when she slid into the passenger seat. “The games require cash, and all I have is plastic.”
“Sure. No problem.” One stop along the way wouldn’t cause too much of a detour from the fun I was so looking forward to.
So I drove to her bank and parked in the lot while she walked up to the cash machine. I preferred the drive-up ATMs, but it was broad daylight, so I sat in the car with the engine running. I watched Charlie in my side mirror because you can’t ever be too safe, right?
Because of my anticipation, I saw the large man before he even approached her. I turned off the engine and removed my key from the ignition, then I reached into my leather crossover bag. I felt the cool metal, and even though I hadn’t touched it in forever, I felt the same comfort I always did with it in my hand.
As I emerged from my car, I memorized the features of the man that I perceived would try to hurt my friend. He was a white male with a large frame—probably six-foot-two and damn near a buck fifty—and shaggy blond hair. But when I caught his profile, I recognized him!
He grabbed ahold of Charlie from behind, and she squeaked out a cry.
“Hey, Otis!” Even though he currently had his large forearm around Charlie’s neck, he stiffened at the sound of his name being called.
He slowly turned around, and with the safety already unlocked, I pressed the button to reveal the blade of the knife I carried with me. “Quicksilver,” he mumbled. Good. He recognized me, too.
“That’s right, Otis. You and I go way back.” Most people would probably be scared in this situation, but I wasn’t. Confidence and empowerment swirled within me. I always felt like I could take on the world with a kni
fe in my hand, just like I did that night five years ago when I used a kitchen knife to defend my mother and me from her boyfriend. “Let… The… Girl… Go,” I spat through clenched teeth.
“Not until she gives me her money.” He was dead wrong if he thought, even for a second, that he’d get anything from either of us.
I stifled a laugh, which seemed to irritate him. Sheer panic shone in poor Charlie’s eyes as she struggled to free herself from the grip Otis had around her neck. She kicked and tried to stomp on his feet, but he was solid and unmoving despite her efforts.
“Like I said, we have history with each other.” My voice didn’t hold any semblance of a quiver. “But now, you’re too old to go back to juvie, and you don’t want to go back to big-boy jail.”
The whites of his eyes appeared to grow larger in the background of his light brown irises.
“Don’t make the wrong choice here, Otis. I’m faster than you.” I gritted my teeth and squinted before I forced out what needed to be said. “I’ll catch you and won’t hesitate to sink my knife into you. I will drive it in again and again and then watch your mangled body bleed to death. You remember what happened to Dragon, don’t you?”
Charlie’s rough gasps and coughs echoed louder as he squeezed tighter. He remained quiet, but the hatred in his expression toward me was evident. I didn’t care that he was practically baring his teeth at me like a dog ready to attack, that his face was a dark shade of purple, or that the vein in his neck was visibly throbbing.
“But hey, you remember that I’m no snitch. So let her go, and I’ll turn the other way. I won’t call the cops, your caseworker, or your parole officer.”
He continued to wear an intense, fevered stare, but when he finally huffed, he released Charlie from his grasp and shoved her away. The momentum had her stumbling forward while Otis scurried away, disappearing behind the building.
Charlie grabbed at her neck and took several quickened breaths.
“Get in the car.”
She obeyed without reluctance while I folded up my blade and placed it back into my bag. Once safely back in the car with the doors locked and the windows rolled up, I used the talk-to-text feature on my phone to send a message to Cameron.
Alexis: Charlie isn’t feeling well. I’m going to take her back home. Raincheck on the carnival.
We headed back to her apartment in silence. I was relieved. I didn’t want to talk about it. I learned a long time ago that talking about stuff that happened on the streets was a good way to bring trouble. So I hoped she wouldn’t want to say anything.
Charlie was still visibly shaken, so I walked with her up to her apartment. With trembling hands, she couldn’t unlock her door. I was glad I’d made the decision to see her safely inside. She managed to shuffle her way to the couch and collapsed onto the cushions. Should I stay and make sure she’s okay, or should I go? This was awkward.
I pulled over the barstool from her breakfast bar and perched myself on it. “Do you want me to get you some water?” I wasn’t sure what to do when she shook her head. I sat in the same spot while Charlie remained face down on her couch for several moments.
As I was about to excuse myself, the doorknob jiggled, and the door of her apartment flew open with Cameron and Louis entering like a storm blowing through an unsuspecting town.
Louis plopped next to her on the couch and rubbed the back of her head. “Sweetheart, are you okay?” It must be nice to have someone care about you like that.
Suddenly, without warning, she began wailing pitiful cries. She sat up and leaned into him before sobbing violently into his chest. I was sure the T-shirt he wore would soon be saturated with her unrelenting tears. Cameron glanced in my direction, but I quickly averted his gaze.
Louis held Charlie and murmured soothing words of comfort while rubbing her head as she continued to cry. I never saw Charlie upset about anything. I had worked alongside her for nearly a year. I had seen her take care of a dying child, massive stroke victims, and trauma patients with non-survivable injuries. She would never even bat an eye. She would take care of the patients the best she could and then move onto the next disaster without missing a beat. It was surreal to see someone who witnessed such tragic events be so shaken by a failed mugging.
Cameron approached me as I remained fixated on the puddle Charlie had created on her couch. Because I was usually aware of my surroundings, I was mindful he was right next to me before he spoke. “What the hell is wrong with her?”
I ignored him, but Charlie leaped out of Louis’s grasp and briskly walked the two strides from the couch to where I was standing and threw her arms around me. I hated hugs. I mean, I really hated hugs. They were smothering and suffocating. Claustrophobia swept throughout my core when my space was violated. But for some reason, at that moment, I felt like she needed me to hug her back. She needed me to be like Louis. To hold her and let her know she was okay. So I lifted my arms from my sides and circled them around her. I patted her back and then pulled away. I wanted to comfort her, but there was definitely a time limit to an embrace.
“Thank you, Alexis.” She looked up at me with tears still streaming down her red, puffy face. “I’ll never be able to repay you.”
Louis stood from the couch, and now I had three pairs of eyes on me. I didn’t get uncomfortable all that often, but at that moment, I felt like I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me into another place. I didn’t really care where, just as long as it was anywhere other than right there, at that moment.
“Alexis said you weren’t feeling well. What the hell happened?” Cameron swept his blazing stare from me and to his sister.
Charlie hiccupped a few quiet sobs and took a deep breath before speaking. “I got jumped at an ATM, and Alexis saved my life.”
“Shit!” Louis grasped Charlie’s face. I could tell he was in paramedic mode as he looked her up and down, assessing her for injuries. “Are you hurt?” His look of concern for her was definitely heartwarming. “I should take you to the ER, so you can get checked out.”
“No!” Charlie pulled away from his grasp. “I’m not going to the ER. I’m fine.” ER nurses hate to be patients at all. And none of us would willingly go to the ER as a patient. Since she was still conscious, I didn’t think Louis would win this argument.
“Did you call the police?” Cameron asked with a hint of expectation in his tone.
Charlie’s tear-filled gaze flew to me, and I gave her the “I don’t want to talk about this anymore” face. I grabbed my car keys that I had tossed onto her end table when I entered her apartment. I was leaving—now.
I really could’ve been faster about my exit, but I guess my reflexes weren’t as sharp as they used to be, because before I could turn the doorknob, Cameron’s hand was on my upper arm. The warmth of his touch made me want to stay, so I released my fingers from their clutch on the doorknob.
“One of you had better start talking.” I wasn’t facing Cameron, but I recognized it wasn’t his voice. It was Louis. Cameron didn’t release his grip on my arm, though. It was firm but not hurtful.
“A man grabbed me from behind at the ATM, Alexis pulled a knife on him, and he let me go.” She made the incident sound very matter-of-fact and simple. I liked that about her. No need to embellish the situation. “I’m sorry, Alexis. I had to tell them. They’re my family. And now, you are, too.”
Then another squeezing sensation wrapped around me, taking my breath away. Cameron forcefully reeled me into him and encircled his strong arms around me while I still had my back to him. Again, I didn’t feel smothered. I didn’t even feel like I needed to break free. I could actually feel his gratitude as his chin rested on top of my head. His thankfulness seeped out as he hugged me. That warmth spread through me, and I didn’t want it to end.
He spun me around after he released me from his warm embrace. Then his hazel eyes penetrated me to the point that, I swear, he could see right into my soul. “Is this true?”
I couldn’t lie. Not
when he maintained that penetrating gaze. So I reluctantly nodded in acknowledgment. I didn’t expect what happened next. He kissed me. It was brief, but his lips connected with mine, and then another hug followed.
I felt woozy. Spots danced before my eyes as I let my torso melt in his strong arms. His body crushing against mine created a sensation within my belly that had never once happened in my whole twenty-one years alive. The wonderful phenomenon felt like the tickling of butterfly wings flapping against the walls of my insides. “Charlie’s right,” he said into my hair as he continued to hold me tight. “You are family now.”
I laughed and broke away from his grasp. I was just getting used to these people being my friends. I certainly wouldn’t take it as far as them being my family. Family sucked. I hated them. But I didn’t hate these people.
Cameron must’ve sensed my displeasure, because he pulled me toward him again. He didn’t push himself against me this time. He grabbed my hands and searched my face. Then a gratitude-filled smile deepened across his lips as those light brown eyes with their golden flecks cast at me. I really thought I could melt right there. His smile was genuine. I had seen him grin and smirk at the girls at work, but this was different. This was meant for me. It felt special. I couldn’t even begin to describe how my senses exploded knowing that I did something to make him beam like that.
“When we were eight, the three of us went swimming in the lake.” His lips flattened, and his megawatt grin faded with the change in his serious tone. “I was wearing water shoes, and when I jumped in, the elastic band on one of them got caught on a limb that was buried deep beneath the water’s surface.” He broke his gaze with me only long enough to glance at Louis and Charlie behind him. But his eyes found mine before he began speaking again. “I have no idea how long I was under, but Louis quickly became aware that something was wrong. He jumped in after me and freed my foot. Things afterward are a little hazy, but without being told by anyone, there’s no question in my mind that he saved my life that day. He’s been my brother ever since.”
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