Butterfly Girl

by Greenleigh Adams

  “How about just saying I’m family,” Louis sputtered from over Cam’s shoulder. “Because otherwise, it’d be weird that your brother is dating your sister.”

  “And you conveniently left out the part about how I had to help Louis drag your ass out of the lake and onto the shore.” Charlie snickered through her muffled hiccups.

  Charlie and Louis laughed. Even Cam let out a chuckle. I didn’t, though. I was sure I stared at him with a blank expression. Because I had no idea what to say. I really wasn’t sure even what to do. I just stood there, wilting with his hands still holding mine.

  “You look overwhelmed. Are you okay?” He gave me a concerned look…I think. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever had someone look at me with concern before. Again, I nodded. “We can’t ever repay you, but is there anything at all we can do?”

  “I just wanted to go to the carnival,” I said meekly. I sounded pathetic. They all thought I had performed some amazing, life-saving act. I didn’t feel like I had. I didn’t expect repayment.

  Cameron stifled a laugh. “Well, then. Okay. I’m taking you to the carnival.”

  I didn’t mean that I still wanted to go to the carnival after what had happened, but Cameron insisted on taking me. He even offered to drive since Louis and Charlie decided to stay behind at her apartment and decompress. I hoped she was okay. I guess the incident really shook her up. I probably didn’t even realize anymore that a normal person’s reaction to that kind of incident would be terrifying. To me, it was just another day. I wondered what the likelihood would be that Cameron didn’t bring it up for the rest of the evening. He was pretty quiet while driving his truck to the carnival grounds. I needed to break the ice somehow.

  “I’m surprised your mother let you three go near water again after your near-drowning episode.”

  He let out a whooshed sigh of relief. He must’ve been waiting for me to be the first to speak since leaving his sister’s apartment. “It’s not like she could’ve stopped us. We weren’t happy unless we had at least one foot in the water at all times.” The irony wasn’t lost on me, given his shoe was the reason for his near demise. “If we weren’t in the water, on the water, or near the water, we’d go crazy. We’d swim, go canoeing, or fish all day, every day.”

  I pictured a young Cameron playing in the water. He obviously still loved being on the water from the fun we’d had the other day on the lake in a canoe. I doubt I would’ve enjoyed myself if I hadn’t been with him. He just seemed to make everything better. Every experience, every smell, every taste, every place, everything was more exciting and intense with him. Am I going crazy? This wasn’t me at all. I’d gotten pretty good at doing things by myself. I’d gone out to dinner, to the movies, grocery shopping, and to the beach by myself. However, going anywhere with Cameron—Cam—made me really happy. I must not have realized just how unhappy I was before. Being away from my parents and able to support myself had been my goal for so long, so I guess I just figured I’d be happy when I reached that goal.

  Now I realized there was so much more to life than having a place to live and money to buy food and clothes. Sure, I took psychology in high school and college. I understood Maslow’s theory of hierarchy of needs. It took me twenty-one years of life to have my physiological and safety needs met. Now I could move onto the part of the pyramid that included friends and intimate relationships. The first time I’d heard his theory and seen that damn pyramid, I remember thinking that Maslow was full of crap, but after understanding it, I realized he might’ve been onto something. If his theory had any actual truth to it, then I was onto the next step, which included belonging and love. Charlie, Cam, and Louis had all done their best to make me feel like I belonged. I felt very much part of their group, and I’d never felt part of a group before. Even at the hospital when we worked as a team to provide the best patient care, I just felt like I was doing a job rather than truly having a sense of belonging.

  As I pondered a little more, I realized I’d never had the feeling to protect someone else from danger like I had today with Charlie. I was always so preoccupied with keeping myself safe, I probably never even noticed that someone else might need help more than I did. I was glad that I was able to help Charlie earlier. I wondered how long it would be before I was confronted about carrying a knife. Cam hadn’t been very judgmental about me thus far, but I was sure that would all change at a moment’s notice.

  “You’ve been super quiet during this drive,” Cam said while still firmly holding his gaze on the road ahead of him. “Are you sure you feel up to going to a carnival? It’ll still be here tomorrow, if you would rather go then.”

  Feeling terrible, I felt my chest tighten and my spine curl forward. He was probably just as shaken as his sister was about what had happened earlier. “I should’ve never agreed to let you take me to the carnival after what happened to Charlie.”

  “Are you kidding? I’d take you anywhere you want to go right now.” He snickered, causing me to arch my brow and straighten my posture. “You could ask me to take you to Mexico, and I’d start driving.”

  I smiled at his comment. He really was sweet. I prided myself on being a pretty good judge of character. I observed people closely, and they rarely surprised me, but Cam had the ability to throw me off-kilter. He’d been able to shock me on more than one occasion.

  “Maybe you can take me to Mexico later.” I playfully tossed a smile back at him. “You promised to win me a prize at the carnival, so I plan to hold you to that promise.”

  He reached across the seat and pulled at my hand. Rather than just brush the top as he’d done previously, he laced his fingers with mine, creating an incredibly intimate hold. “I always keep my promises.”

  I believed him. God help me, but I did. “You have been incredibly nice to me when you barely know anything about me, especially since I haven’t exactly been very supportive of letting you get to know me with not wanting to talk about my past.”

  “You’re not ready to tell me all about yourself yet.” How is it that he understands me so well? “You said you had a crappy childhood, and that you didn’t want to talk about it. One day you’ll tell me. You just don’t trust me yet.”

  I began to open my mouth to speak, but Cam shook his head. “It’s okay. We’re friends. When you want to confide in me, you will. I won’t pry. It’s not who I am. I’m supportive of my friends, and okay, maybe sometimes a little meddlesome, but Charlie and Louis deserved it.”

  “What are you rambling about?” I was happy he had deflected the subject away from me and to his sister and best friend instead.

  “Five years ago, Louis told Charlie he was in love with her.” He pulled into the fairground parking lot without ever letting go of my fingers. “Charlie told him she didn’t love him back, so he ran away and just showed back up this summer.” He parked the truck and once putting the vehicle into park, he turned and looked at me. “I should’ve chased after him, but I left the two of them alone to figure things out for themselves. After enough time passed, I figured they just weren’t meant to be. However, after seeing the two of them together again, I wasn’t able to idly stand by and watch them be miserable.” He squeezed my hand. “When I see you nervous or unhappy, it breaks a little piece of my heart. Because I can’t stand to see people I care about miserable.”

  “We just established that you barely know me. How can you say you care about me?” I rolled my eyes and pulled away from the intimate hand-holding gesture.

  He switched off the ignition and removed his keys, but then returned his attention to me. “I’m not sure why you find that so hard to believe. You saved my sister’s life. But even before tonight, I have enjoyed spending time with you, and I consider you a friend. So of course I care about you.” His eyes narrowed in annoyance. And once again, I felt terrible about causing him unsettled feelings.

  I swallowed hard and felt a sniffle beginning to surface. The kind of sniffle that might be followed by tears. “Cam.” I blew out a long breath. �
�I haven’t had a real friend in a very long time, so I may need a little bit of an adjustment period. Additionally, I haven’t dated in quite a while, and I’ve never had a boyfriend before, so I may be a little awkward around you. Just realize it isn’t anything you’ve done. It’s my lack of experience. I am really unsure how to act around most people.”

  6

  Cameron

  Charlie had mentioned that Alexis was inexperienced. I just assumed she meant regarding sex. I had no idea the magnitude of her inexperience. I told her I was okay with waiting until she was ready to confide in me, but I was becoming more than a little curious about why she hadn’t had friends in a while or ever had a boyfriend. Never having been in a canoe or never going to a carnival may be normal, right? And what’s the deal with carrying a knife? If she’s so inexperienced, how can she be such a badass?

  Maybe she didn’t trust me with the secrets of her past, but she had trusted me with some of her new adventures. I hoped some new opportunities would make good memories for her. So I would focus my attention on that. She’d turned my insides two times to Tuesday, and I couldn’t remember ever feeling so captivated by a girl. I wanted to be with her for all her firsts. She fascinated me for sure, just like Charlie had pointed out. Damn, I hated when she was right.

  “You don’t ever have to act around me. I like you just the way you are.” I leaned into her and gave her one quick peck on her cheek before opening my truck door and making the long walk to the carnival entrance.

  Normally, after spending this much time with a woman, I would’ve slept with her by now. And very possibly moved on to another one. But I had no desire to slam forward at lightning speed with Lex. I wanted to savor every single moment with her. I wasn’t kidding when I said I wanted to be there for all her firsts. I truly did.

  I loved seeing Lex’s face when she tried funnel cake. The swirly ribbon of pastry covered in powdered sugar may be strange-looking fried dough, but the taste created an explosion in your mouth. And as I had already planned, we ate chili dogs and cotton candy and nachos and soft pretzels. We shared, but she definitely held her own with the buffet of junk food.

  The Tilt-a-Whirl and the Scrambler didn’t make her lose any of the crap she’d digested, so I considered it a win in my eyes. A woman with a cast-iron stomach was totally a turn-on. After holding her hand in my truck, I wanted to reach for her hand several times throughout the evening, but I’d restrained myself somehow.

  She had never been on a Ferris wheel, so I left that ride to be the culmination of our evening. I was excited to show her the view from the top. The expansive sight spread across town and all the way to the coastline, where the ocean could be seen meeting the sky at the horizon. I’d seen it many times before, but I couldn’t wait to see her reaction to it.

  We played several games, and I won her a large stuffed teddy bear at the ring toss booth. She actually jumped up and down and clapped her hands when I won. And that smile across her face when I let her pick out the prize was a memory I would cherish for a long time. I’d been to the carnival more times than I could count, and although my sister and I always had a wonderful time, nothing could compare to watching the experience through the eyes of someone seeing the carnival for that initial time.

  “Are you nervous about being up so high?” I asked Lex while we waited in the line for the Ferris wheel.

  She clutched the stuffed animal against her chest and retained that elated smile. “I’m not afraid of heights.” She laughed sweetly. And oh, how sweet she sounded.

  “I don’t imagine you’re afraid of anything. You’re probably fearless.” She shrugged without commitment.

  “Right now, I’m honestly too happy to be afraid of anything.” She reached out and grabbed my hand. I suddenly felt like I was fourteen again.

  Nervousness prickled my skin, and my hand started to perspire within her grasp.

  “I can’t thank you enough for sharing this evening with me.” Her smoky blue eyes swirled with appreciation.

  “Thank you for letting me be the one you shared this new experience with.” I couldn’t go without touching her or holding her for a moment longer, so I pulled her toward me. She was still clutching that damn bear, so I crushed her arm and that bear against my chest as I embraced her.

  I felt her relax beneath my embrace, and she actually snuggled in closer to my chest. I hadn’t expected that. She’d always seemed to have a firm distance in place when it came to me, like she needed a buffer for her personal space. Maybe that was one barrier she’d allowed to come down.

  I drove Lex back to Charlie’s apartment complex, where her car was still parked from earlier in the day. I pulled into the parking spot next to hers.

  “So maybe I’ll see you sometime this week?” I didn’t want the evening to end, but I wasn’t about to try and press my luck.

  “You mean for coffee delivery?” That adorable smile swept across her face again, brightening her blue eyes between her long eyelashes.

  “Of course, but maybe another time, too?” I turned toward her and felt myself become nervous again. “I can invite Charlie and Louis if that makes you feel more comfortable.”

  “I would love to spend time with you again. Just text me what the plans are, and I’ll be there.” She broke our gaze and dug into the contents of the bag draped across her torso to find her keys. As she began to push the passenger side door open, I saw a familiar symbol dangle from her keyring.

  I grabbed her hand before she could exit my truck. “You have a Batman keychain?”

  “Yeah, I do.” There was a pensive shadow in her eyes as her shyness returned when she tried to explain. “Do you think that makes me weird?”

  I dropped her hand before my own explanation. “Are you kidding? I have all seven movies on DVD. I love them all, but Michael Keaton is still my favorite Batman.”

  She liked Batman. Perhaps I could fall in love after all.

  “Perhaps I can come by sometime and watch a movie? I haven’t seen them all.” She wore an expectant look on her face, waiting for my answer.

  Perhaps she could come by? She could come by anytime. “It’s still early. Do you want to watch a movie now?” Please say yes.

  “Maybe some other time, Cam. I know what the time says, but I’m exhausted. I really just want to head back to my place and relax.” She brushed against my hand again with her soft, delicate palm. “I really had a great time with you this evening. Thanks for that.” And just like that, she withdrew from my hand and shifted out of her seat and out the door.

  I watched as she safely pulled out of the parking lot, and then I retreated out of my truck and to my sister’s apartment. I knocked loudly on her door. I had a key, but now that she was dating Louis, I always knocked. I really wasn’t interested in barging in on a make-out session between the two of them.

  “Your night ended early,” Charlie said in a voice heavy with sarcasm as she stood within the open doorway. “Everything all right?”

  I pushed past her and collapsed onto her sofa with a loud swoosh. Then, covering my face with my hands, I let out a loud, exaggerated sigh. Footsteps approached me, and they weren’t the light steps of a female. They were heavy. I parted my fingers and peered through them. Louis loomed over me, studying my face.

  I quickly pulled my hands off my face and sat up. “What the hell are you looking at?” I scoffed at the man I still considered a brother.

  “I was making sure you weren’t sick.”

  Using both hands, I shoved him away. He was only slightly knocked off balance, but he did take a step back while he snickered at me.

  “He’s lovesick.” And then my sister made an annoying, lip-smacking, smooching noise numerous times while puckering her lips.

  I picked up a throw pillow from her couch and launched it at her. Because there wasn’t much weight to the pillow, she had plenty of time to dodge it before she and Louis both fell into a fit of laughter.

  I stood up from the couch. If I was going to have
these two poke fun at me, they were going to have to do it with me looming over them. “What the hell is so damn funny?”

  Charlie was the first to take some deep breaths and try to calm herself out of the side-splitting hysterics she had been immersed in. “It’s eight thirty at night, and Cam Callahan is at his sister’s apartment, rather than spending the night with his date for the evening.”

  “What happened? Did she turn you down?” Louis was quick to display a sarcastic frown while trying to hold back his amusement.

  “I didn’t get turned down,” I retorted, trying to hide my humility. “I wanted to make sure Lean Bean was okay.”

  “That’s bullshit, Cameron.” Charlie went back and forth between calling me Cam and Cameron. She doesn’t call me by my full name for any particular reason, like, for say, when she wanted to express her displeasure about something or have me appreciate the severity of a situation. She wasn’t happy that I was lying to her though. We were best friends. Even though she wasn’t always sure what I was thinking, she could always tell when I wasn’t truthful. Damn the twin connection.

  “I do want to make sure that you were okay, but I also have confidence that you’re under Louis’s protection.” I could feel my stature relax.

  “You didn’t do anything to Alexis that I’ll have to apologize to her for, did you?” Charlie’s arched brow rose in question.

  “I didn’t do anything to embarrass you, I swear.” I held up my hands in surrender.

  “So what the hell happened?” Louis inquired. He was never this interested in my exchanges with a woman before.

  I fell back into the cushions of the couch again. “I asked her to come to my place and watch a movie, and she basically said she would rather be alone than spend any more time with me tonight.”

  “Really? That’s what bruised your ego?” Charlie swatted my legs, giving me the sign to move over and accommodate her to sit alongside me. Once I shifted a little to the right, she squeezed in next to me. “She spent the last several hours with you, didn’t she?”