All's Fair (9781101610893)

by Krulik, Nancy E. ; Wendy, John

  “Maaa! Maaa!” Just then, one of the goats began bleating from her pen.

  “Maaa! Maaa! Maaa!” Some of the other goats bleated back.

  Katie had goat feet, goat eyes, goat fur, and a goat beard. But Katie did not speak goat. Still, it wasn’t hard to understand what these goats were saying. They were very excited. Someone they knew was coming near the stalls.

  “Maaa! Maaaa!” the billy goat bleated happily.

  A tall man in jeans with big, heavy boots walked toward Katie’s pen. “Come on, Maybell,” he said as he gently wrapped a rope around Katie’s neck like a leash. “Lunch is over. It’s milking time.”

  Chapter 9

  The farmer led Katie up some stairs to a wooden platform that had been set up in the middle of the petting zoo. He stroked Katie’s neck gently and placed a bucket underneath her. A moment later, a second goat walked up the stairs and onto the platform with another farmer.

  “Maaa . . . Maaa . . . ,” the other goat bleated to Katie. But she couldn’t speak goat.

  Katie looked around. Down below the platform she could see big pens set up everywhere. There was a pen with three bunnies to her left. Another pen with two lambs was on her right. There were piglets in a pen beside the lambs. And in the middle was a big pen filled with little yellow chicks.

  But no one was paying attention to those baby animals now. They were all too busy staring at the stage.

  The two farmers walked over to the microphone and smiled at the crowd. “Welcome to the celebrity goat-milking contest,” one of the farmers said. “I’m Farmer Gene Greens, and this is my goat, Maybell. She’s here and ready to be milked.”

  Katie knew that was true. Her belly felt very full. “Baaa!” she said.

  “I’m Farmer Stan Kornblatt. And this is my goat, Velma,” the other farmer said. “She’s ready to be milked, too!”

  “Maaaaa,” Velma bleated.

  “We have a real rodeo cowboy here to show you just how much fun it is to milk a goat,” Farmer Greens continued. “Slim Jim McQueen!”

  Slim Jim leaped up onstage and waved his hat in the air. The crowd cheered.

  “I bet y’all are wondering why we have two goats,” Slim Jim said. “It’s because I am challenging someone from this audience to a goat-milking race! Is there anyone here who thinks they can fill a bucket with fresh goat’s milk quicker than I can?”

  “I’LL DO IT!”

  A shout came from the middle of the crowd. Katie recognized the voice right away. She’d know it anywhere. The voice belonged to Suzanne!

  Suzanne jumped up onto the platform. She smiled at the crowd and took a bite of another candy apple.

  “What’s your name, little lady?” Slim Jim McQueen asked her.

  “I’m Suzanne Lock,” she told him. “And I’m a fashion model.” She turned sideways, looked over her shoulder, and posed for an imaginary photographer.

  “Do you know how to milk a goat?” Farmer Greens asked Suzanne.

  “Sure,” Suzanne said. “I’ve milked a million of ’em!”

  Katie shook her hairy head. “That’s a lie!” she shouted out. But the only thing the crowd heard was, “Maaa. Maa. Maaaaaa!”

  “So you really think you can beat Slim Jim?” Farmer Kornblatt asked her.

  “I’m sure going to try.” Suzanne peered at the crowd. “I try my hardest at whatever I do! So how about a round of applause for me?”

  A few people started clapping.

  Katie was confused. Suzanne had made it clear she didn’t want to be around any animals. But now here she was volunteering to milk goats.

  “And after you all take lots of pictures of me milking this goat, please come see me in the Junior Miss Candy Apple Contest,” Suzanne continued.

  Oh. Now it made sense. No matter what the smell, Suzanne always had to be wherever the action was—especially if there were photographers and cameras around.

  But that didn’t make it okay. The last thing Katie wanted was for Suzanne to milk her. Still, Katie wasn’t worried. Wouldn’t Farmer Greens want a grown-up to milk his goat? He was probably going to shoo Suzanne right off the stage.

  “Great, Suzanne,” Farmer Greens said. “I like your spirit. Why don’t you just take a seat right here next to Maybell?”

  Katie’s goat eyes opened wide. She couldn’t believe her big, floppy goat ears.

  “Thank you,” Suzanne answered. She started walking toward where Katie . . . uh . . . Maybell was standing.

  There was only one thing to do. Katie leaped off the platform and into the crowd. It was time for this goat to make a run for it!

  Chapter 10

  “Uh-oh! Maybell’s on the loose!” Farmer Greens shouted into the microphone.

  “I’ll lasso her!” Cowboy Slim Jim McQueen announced. He picked up a rope from the stage, tied a loop at the end, and began spinning it in the air. “Yeeehaw!” he shouted.

  “Yahooooo!” the people in the crowd cheered.

  “Out of my way!” Katie shouted, racing through the petting zoo. All that came out was “Maaa! Maaaa!”

  “Oink! Oink!” the pigs shouted angrily as Katie banged into the pigpen.

  “Sorry,” Katie bleated.

  “Yeehaw!” Slim Jim shouted again.

  His lasso whirled in the air.

  “Oh gosh!” a woman cried. “The chicks have escaped!”

  The circle of the lasso flew out toward Katie’s head.

  “Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!” The chicks clucked as they ran in all directions.

  “Chicks on the loose!” a little kid shouted.

  Katie ran from the lasso as fast as her goat legs could carry her.

  “Watch out for the chicks!” Farmer Greens yelled into the microphone.

  “I’ve got one!” someone shouted.

  “Me too!” a teenage boy said. “Fast little guys, aren’t they?”

  “Helloooo!” Suddenly Katie could hear Suzanne’s voice calling out on the microphone. “Have you all forgotten there’s a fashion model with a candy apple up here?”

  But nobody was paying attention to Suzanne while there were baby chicks on the loose. In a flash, Katie managed to scoot out of the petting zoo and across the midway. She had no idea where she was going. But she had to get out of there!

  The next thing she knew, Katie was inside a crowded tent. Katie sniffed the air. Mmmm. Flowers. They smelled so sweet and delicious.

  “Oh, Freddy Bear, I hope I win the blue ribbon,” Katie heard a woman say. “Do you think the judges really liked my roses?”

  It was Mrs. Derkman and her husband. Mrs. Derkman was wearing a big straw hat with fake flowers on it.

  Suddenly, Katie’s goat tummy started rumbling. She was still hungry. And all those roses looked delicious. Not the fake ones on Mrs. Derkman’s hat. The real ones. There wasn’t another goat around, so it was like being the only customer at a yummy bouquet buffet. Roses, tulips, daffodils, pansies . . .

  Even though she was a goat, Katie knew she should get away from the flowers. She should sneak back to the stalls and munch on some straw and oats. But those flowers looked so yummy. She couldn’t help herself.

  Katie chomped off a couple of Mrs. Derkman’s red roses. Gulp!

  “EEK!” Mrs. Derkman yelled. She ran over and yanked at the stems hanging from Katie’s lips.

  “What is that goat doing in here?” a judge demanded.

  “My babies!” Mrs. Derkman cried. “That rotten goat ate my babies! Somebody grab it!”

  “I’m sorry,” Katie bleated. Then she took off.

  But all Mrs. Derkman heard was “Maaaa. Maaaa.” And, boy, was Katie’s neighbor ma-a-ad!

  Suddenly, everyone in the flower tent was racing after Katie. It was a good thing Katie had four legs. She could run twice as fast as any two-legged human. A
nd at least no one here had a lasso!

  Katie kept running. And running. And running. When she finally stopped, she was in a small parking area. There were a few trailers, a water hose, and a big stack of hay. Overhead, a big banner read WELCOME FARMERS. It was where the farmers unloaded the livestock, but it was empty now.

  Katie stopped to rest. Almost right away, she felt a cool breeze blowing against her furry back. She looked around. The hay in the haystack wasn’t moving at all. The banner overhead wasn’t moving, either. The breeze was only blowing on Katie. And it was getting stronger by the second.

  That could only mean one thing. This wasn’t an ordinary wind.

  This was the magic wind. It had come back!

  This time, Katie was glad the magic wind was blowing. Katie was tired of being a goat. This four-legged kid was ready to go back to being a two-legged kid.

  The magic wind began to pick up speed. It whirled and swirled all around Maybell—uh, er, Katie—like a wild tornado. It blew through her fur like a hurricane, raising her tail in the air and flapping at her ears. Katie shut her goat eyes tight and tried to keep herself from being blown away.

  And then it stopped. Just like that. The magic wind was gone.

  Katie opened her eyes and looked down. Sure enough, her four hooves had disappeared. In their place were two human feet in red high-top sneakers.

  Woo-hoo! Katie Kazoo was back!

  And so was Maybell the goat. She was standing there, right next to Katie. Boy, did she look confused.

  Chapter 11

  “Poor Maybell,” Katie said. She stroked her back gently. “You must be tired and thirsty after all that. I know I am.”

  “Maaaaa,” Maybell bleated.

  Katie had a feeling Maybell was saying yes. So she got up, turned on the hose, and let Maybell drink from the stream of cold water.

  “That’s a good girl,” Katie said, using the same kind of voice she used when she spoke to Pepper.

  Maybell looked up at her. “Maaaaa . . . ,” she said again. Then she shook her head. A few drops of water flew out of her beard and sprayed Katie.

  “Okay, I guess I deserved that,” Katie said. “I’m sorry I ran off like that, but I didn’t want you . . . I mean, I didn’t want me . . . well, I didn’t want Suzanne milking either of us.”

  Maybell had no idea what Katie was saying. But something in Katie’s voice seemed to soothe her. She sat down in the haystack and began nibbling.

  “You sure are a mess.” Katie reached over and gently began smoothing Maybell’s fur. She was soft and fuzzy.

  “Maaa. Maaa,” Maybell bleated.

  “Where is my goat?”

  Suddenly, Katie heard Farmer Greens shouting. It sounded like he was coming her way.

  He definitely sounded upset. And he thought Maybell was all to blame.

  “She’s got a lot of spirit,” Katie heard someone answer. It sounded like Slim Jim.

  “Too much spirit,” the farmer replied. “I don’t trust her near people anymore. I may just have to sell her.”

  “Maybe Maybell’s back in the livestock tent,” Slim Jim said.

  “It’s worth a look,” Farmer Greens said.

  Then Katie heard the farmer and cowboy walk off. They never even spotted Maybell and Katie.

  Katie gulped. Sell her? Farmer Greens couldn’t do that. His farm was Maybell’s home. All her friends were there.

  This was sooo not good!

  “I have to do something to make that farmer like you again, Maybell,” Katie whispered quietly.

  Maybell chewed some more hay. She had no idea what was going on.

  Usually Katie had great ideas that could fix the messes the magic wind made. But not today. That was the problem with great ideas. Like the magic wind, they only came when they wanted to.

  Katie shoved her hands in her pockets and leaned against a post. Suddenly she felt something wonderful in her hand—Suzanne’s container of glitter. That was it!

  “Maybell!” Katie announced. “You’re entering a contest!”

  Quickly, Katie picked the gravel from Maybell snowy white beard. Then she smoothed out her soft fur and fluffed up her tail.

  “Okay, now for the sparkle.” Katie sprinkled Suzanne’s shimmery pink-and-white glitter all over Maybell’s furry body. “Pageant judges love glitter. At least that’s what Suzanne says.”

  Katie stood back and looked at Maybell. Now her fur sparkled in the sunshine.

  “Come on,” Katie said as she placed her hand on Maybell’s back and led her over to the livestock area. “Let’s hope this works.”

  “Maaa. Maaa!”

  The other goats greeted Maybell. They sounded really glad to see her.

  Farmer Greens looked at Katie. Then he looked at Maybell. “What’s going on here?”

  “I found your goat,” Katie said.

  “Well, you shouldn’t have brought her here,” the farmer said. “This is a contest to judge the best-looking goat at the fair. Maybell’s a troublemaker. She can’t be trusted at a judging. She’s liable to bolt again. And what’s that in her coat?”

  “Glitter,” Katie said. “It’s what girls wear in pageants.”

  The farmer frowned. “Maybell’s not a girl. She’s a goat. And this isn’t a beauty pageant. It’s a contest for dairy goats. The judges look for things like height and weight, the shape of her ears, and how well-groomed her fleece is.”

  “She’s very well-groomed,” Katie assured him. “I pulled every bit of gravel I could find out of her beard.”

  Farmer Greens frowned. “Gravel in her beard? How did she manage to do that?”

  Katie watched as the judges walked over to a brown-and-white goat. They placed their hands on the goat’s ribs and studied the shape of her ears. Then they marked something down on a card and walked over to a white goat with small horns. That goat was pretty. But she didn’t look as nice as Maybell did.

  “Maybell looks beautiful,” Katie insisted. “Give her a chance. I think she’ll behave now.”

  “What makes you such an expert on goats?” Farmer Greens asked.

  Katie wasn’t sure how to answer that. Luckily, she didn’t have to. At just that moment, the contest judge walked over to Farmer Greens.

  “And who is this lovely goat?” the judge asked.

  “She’s . . . uh . . . ,” Farmer Greens stammered. “Well . . . ”

  “She’s Maybell,” Katie interrupted. “She’s a last-minute entry into the contest. She’s not too late, is she?”

  “Not at all,” the judge said. “Is she yours?”

  Katie shook her head. “No. I’m just a friend. She belongs to Farmer Greens here.” Then she held out her hand. “My name is Katie.”

  The judge shook Katie’s hand. Then he began to walk all around Maybell. He looked at her fluffy tail and admired her beard. “Nice goat! Her legs are spaced well,” the judge remarked. “And her back looks straight and strong.”

  Katie smiled. So far, so good. Even Farmer Greens seemed to be relaxing—at least a little.

  Then the judge brought another judge over to look at her. “Her coat is very thick and shimmery,” the first judge said, writing something on his pad.

  Shimmery was exactly the look Katie was going for.

  “We’re ready to announce the winners,” one of the judges said a few minutes later. They headed straight over to a farmer who was standing beside a pretty white goat. The farmer was handed a white ribbon. That was for third place.

  Then the judges walked over to a black-and-gray goat. She got a red ribbon for second place.

  “Uh-oh!” Farmer Greens said. “That was Stan Kornblatt’s goat that just got second place. Stan’s never going to let me live this down. His goats always beat my goats in contests.”

  Katie had only been tryin
g to help. “I’m really sorry,” she apologized.

  And then, the judges came over and stopped right in front of Katie and Farmer Greens. “This goat is magnificent!” one declared. “Her ears are perfectly shaped, and she’s got wonderful bone structure. Her fur is shiny, and she is clearly well-groomed. Congratulations! Here’s your first-place blue ribbon. This goat is best in show!”

  The crowd clapped loudly. Farmer Greens’s jaw dropped. He stared at the judge. He was so surprised, he couldn’t even speak.

  So Katie took the ribbon and thanked the judge.

  “You’re welcome, little lady,” he replied.

  Farmer Greens looked at Katie. “I guess I owe you an apology,” he said.

  Katie grinned. She was actually the one who owed him an apology—for running off the platform and for letting all the chicks loose in the petting zoo and for eating Mrs. Derkman’s roses. Of course, he didn’t know about the roses.

  But he might in a minute. Mrs. Derkman was heading in their direction. Katie gulped. If Mrs. Derkman told the judges what Maybell had done, they might take away her first-prize ribbon.

  “Maaaa. Maaaaa,” Maybell bleated.

  “Um . . . she looks really uncomfortable,” Katie said quickly. “Maybe she needs to be milked.”

  Farmer Greens nodded. “Yes. We need to get her back to the pens.”

  “Yeah, right away,” Katie agreed.

  Off they hurried. Mrs. Derkman never spotted them! Phew!

  “Oh, can I milk Maybell?” Katie asked Farmer Greens. “I’ve always wanted to try that.”

  “Sure,” he answered. “Let me get you a bucket. And then I’ll show you exactly what to do. It’s the least I can do after all you did for us. Imagine! Maybell won a blue ribbon!”

  “So you’re not going to sell her?” Katie asked.

  “I would never sell Maybell,” Farmer Greens said. “She’s going to make me rich.”

  “How?” Katie wondered.

  “Just think of all the goat cheese I can sell using her milk,” Farmer Greens said. “Can’t you just see the advertisements? Blue Ribbon Goat Cheese.”