LOL #3 Romantic Comedy Anthology

by Anthology

  “Open the door, Jules.”

  “No way.”

  “Fine. I’ll be back. But only because I really gotta go.”

  I stood on my toes by the door, with my back flat against the wall, waiting. The water level came down a bit, but I was afraid to touch any part of that toilet. Just as I wondered if Scar really would come back, the door swung open. Pride shone in his smile as he held the plunger as if it was made of gold.

  “Oh, bless your soul.” I grabbed the contraption. “Now get out.”

  “No way. I’m not letting you fix the toilet.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because you’re a lady. And I wouldn’t want those hands of yours to get ruined for when I need brain surgery.”

  “I swear, Scar, if I ever do brain surgery on you, I’ll swap it with a dog’s. Maybe you’ll be smarter.”

  “Have I told you how much I love your mouth?”

  The words rolled off his tongue and licked through me as if he wanted to make love to my mouth.

  He pushed past me and lowered the plunger inside the bowl. With a few good pumps, the water level went down and, after a flush, the chocolate bar that had morphed into a pudding-like consistency, disappeared.

  “That had to be one healthy log in there,” he said.

  I prayed for the bathroom floor to split open and swallow me whole.

  “Why are you so red?” He grinned.

  “Why do you think?”

  “Oh come on, Jules. I never thought you pooped flowers.”

  “You thought about my crap?”

  “No, but now I will.” He chuckled.

  My cheeks turned crimson.

  “I’m kidding,” he said. “Come on. There’s still some wine left. But if I were you, I’d stay away from the nuggets.”

  I punched his arm and sprayed water in his face after we’d washed our hands.

  Scar flicked on a movie, and we snuggled against each other on the couch. Time with Scar ran slow yet fast. I wished we could stay in this moment. He made me happy and giddy unlike anyone I’d ever met. Maybe it was the friend thing we had. Perhaps we had bonded when we had been there for each other through the tough times in high school.

  I didn’t remember when I leaned against him and fell asleep on the couch, but sometime in the night, I woke up in my bed, covered with a blanket. Scar was still in my room, snoring on the uncomfortable couch. I tiptoed toward him and shook him gently by the shoulder.

  “Is everything okay?” He woke startled.

  “Yeah, come to bed, Scar. It’s more comfortable.”

  From the look in his eyes, I could see he wanted to make a remark, but he must have been too tired to do so. He nodded and came to bed.

  It turned out to be one of the most comfortable nights of sleep I’d had in a long time.

  Chapter 3

  The next morning, I met Zoey, Mom, and Sid for breakfast in the dining area, wearily waiting for Scar to come down. He’d left my room over an hour ago to shower and said he’d see me downstairs. His brothers, father, and mother were all seated at a table in the corner. The other two families staying at the resort were at the self-serve buffet.

  “So, what are your plans for today, girls? Skiing? A sleigh ride? The spa?” Mom asked.

  “Actually, Mike called. His plans changed, so he should be up here in the next hour.” Zoey perked up before lowering her eyes the way she always did when she was feeling guilty.

  “Which means you’re ditching me?” I sipped on my coffee.

  “You’re more than welcome to join us in the Jacuzzi.”

  I think I’d rather get a root canal. “No thanks. I’m going skiing with an old friend I ran into last night.”

  “That’s nice. Is she from New York?”

  “Yes, he is.”

  Mom and Zoey looked from each other to me, then to each other again, before leaning forward over the table.

  “Care to elaborate, Jules?” Timed perfectly, Scar kissed the top of my head as if we were a couple, and then pulled out a chair to join us at the table. While this didn’t strike me as odd, my mom and sister’s mouths were wide open.

  “Good morning,” he said.

  “Scar, this is my family.”

  He extended his hand and introduced himself.

  “What kind of a name is Scar?” my sister asked.

  “Zoey!”

  “It’s all right. My real name is Nick. I’ve been known to be in a few fights in high school, which left pretty white marks on my body.” He tugged on his lip. “Hence the name,” he finished.

  The move flipped my stomach upside down, and for the first time I felt an urge to kiss the spot as well as see all the other white marks on his skin.

  Zoey’s eyes mellowed.

  I could already see Mike drifting away into forgetville.

  “And you’re a friend of Julies?” my mom asked.

  I jumped in before he got a chance to tell my family exactly how we had met—smoking weed underneath the bleachers.

  “We know each other from high school. Scar just passed the bar.”

  “Well, congratulations,” Sid spoke up. “It’s always good to know a few lawyers.”

  Scar shifted uncomfortably in his seat. The tension between him and my mom’s boyfriend was wound as tight as a guitar string, and I wondered why.

  My mom was totally oblivious to this. She smiled at Scar as if he had been the one to share her bed last night. If I were to compare her expression, it would be to that of a … cougar? Oh no! Mom thinks Scar is hot!

  I stuffed the last bite of my muffin in my mouth and pulled Scar’s arm as I rose from my chair. “If we want fresh powder, we’d better hit the slopes now.” I nearly dragged him out of the dining room, waving back toward my family.

  They raised their hands. My mom still wore a dreamy look in her eyes.

  Zoey licked her tongue over her lip.

  Sid mumbled something about joining them for an important dinner.

  “But I haven’t had breakfast,” Scar objected.

  I grabbed a muffin off the last table we passed and handed it to him. “Bon appétit, Scar.”

  It didn’t take us long to get ready and pack our gear into the Gondola. Scar grabbed another muffin on our way out of the chalet and finished chewing as we stepped inside.

  We were the only passengers, and since it was about a fifteen-minute ride to the top, I removed my hat and gloves. “Crap, I forgot my phone.” I patted my jacket pocket.

  “So did I. You had me rushing out of there so fast I didn’t even get to have my morning coffee.”

  I reached into my other pocket and handed him a juice box.

  He looked at me with a funny expression.

  I shrugged in response and he accepted my offer. “Thank you. So, what’s the story with Sid?”

  “He’s a phase. It will be over soon. It should be over soon. He’s not good for her. Did you see the way my mother’s cougar claws grew when she saw you? She’s no saint either.”

  “I tend to have that effect on women.” He grinned.

  No kidding. “You and my mom? Really, that’s the last image I need.”

  “I’m playing with you, Jules. And I don’t like Sid either.”

  His comment made me smile because, as usual, we thought we knew what was better, or who was better, for others. “You too?”

  “Yeah, he creeps me out.” Scar opened the small window and lit a cigarette.

  “No smoking.” I pointed to the sign.

  “Since when do you follow the rules?”

  “Since I realized the side effects.”

  I didn’t want to tell him about my grandfather’s passing from lung cancer two years ago. He’d made me swear I’d never touch smokes again—and I hadn’t.

  “I like this feisty Jules.”

  My cheeks heated up as if he’d complimented me on winning a Nobel Prize. While Scar still had a talent for aggravating me, he did it with class, and in a way that didn’t bother me as
much as it probably should have.

  “I’ve been trying to split them up for months. I think he’s after her money. I don’t know how to make her see the truth. He’s not right for her,” I continued.

  “Will any guy be?”

  “I don’t know. I’m worse at relationships than she is. Every guy I’ve dated has cheated on me. What about your parents, Scar? Any luck finding your birth mom?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “Father’s lip-locked about it. He insists Beth is my mom.”

  “She did raise you.”

  “I know. I still never felt like I belonged. Being the only product of infidelity in your family can really mess with you.”

  “I’m sure she loves you.”

  “Yeah, so do you want to work together to break Sid and the cougar up?”

  I punched his arm. “Watch it. She’s still my mom. What would you do?”

  “I’m a professional, Jules.” The mischievous look on his face spelled trouble.

  During our last year of high school, we’d broken up more than ten couples. After some time, I’d felt guilty. Then I’d seen their new relationships and realized I’d done them huge favors. It turned out my actions were justified.

  “You’d actually hit on my mom?”

  “Did you see the way she was looking at me? She loves young men full of endurance.”

  “Don’t get too high on yourself.” Of course, I’d seen it. The feeling of jealousy didn’t escape me either. “I’m not making a move on Sid. You’d have to do this job on your own.”

  “Fine by me.” He flicked the cigarette out the window and popped a mint into his mouth. Scar reached his hands up behind his head and looked sexier than ever.

  “Are you planning to live like this the rest of your life? So … alone,” I asked.

  “I wasn’t really planning at all.”

  I had been afraid he’d say that.

  “Why bother? I’d end up cheating like my father did. I don’t want to hurt anyone. No fucking way. I enjoy life instead. Live in the moment, so to speak.”

  We remained quiet the rest of the way up, watching the winter landscape. The Colorado Mountains stretched for miles. While my lifestyle reflected Scar’s, my judgmental mind couldn’t stop. My ambition forced me to improve. Was that what I wanted from Scar as well? I wondered whether Scar was right. If he didn’t want to hurt anyone, did that mean he never dated? Would his human need to survive and procreate ever win over his fear?

  As we stood at the top of the hill, I felt a rush of adrenaline pump into my veins. The trails looked wild for the most part, the snow untouched by other skiers. I pushed off first, and heard Scar follow me. We weaved between the trees and jumped over mounds of snow. There was no better feeling in the world than plowing through fresh powder. The sun shone and Scar kept up with my tempo. I wasn’t a great skier, but I conquered black diamond trails without sweat. One of the perks of coming to this resort was the privacy and the secluded mountains. It’d be easy to get lost here, I thought. Normally, I’d have gone with a guide, but since Scar said he knew this place inside out, I trusted him.

  “There’s a cliff about ten feet high there. Go at your own risk.” He pointed before speeding ahead and jumping high in the air. He stuck the landing on his snowboard.

  I pulled my knees up to my chest and crossed my skis. My insides felt weightless for a moment. It had been a long time since I’d taken a jump like that.

  Scar stopped, and I pulled up beside him, plowing a heap of snow on top of him, and laughing as if I was a kid.

  “What goes around comes around,” he threatened.

  “It’s just snow.”

  “You’ve got some sweet moves, Jules. I never knew you were so good.”

  “Thanks. You’re not too shabby either. Where to next?”

  “You can lead us down between those two pines,” he said, pointing.

  I pushed off before he finished. It was difficult to remember the last time I’d been so happy and it was all Scar’s doing. As I made my way down the hill, I wondered why we had never stayed in touch. We could have exchanged phone numbers and addresses.

  A rolling rumble, like thunder, echoed in the distance. I looked up at the sky, but there was not a cloud in sight. My knees wobbled as if there had been an earthquake, feeling like jelly, but I continued skiing until I heard Scar call out my name.

  The expression on his face was nothing short of terror. “Come on! Hurry!” he screamed, flying past me.

  I followed him as he picked up speed until I was at his side. “What’s the matter?” The snow underneath me softened, and I found it more difficult to ski.

  “It’s an avalanche!”

  I whipped my head around to look back, and all I could see was a white cloud getting closer and closer. Something slammed into me and everything went black as I lost consciousness.

  Chapter 4

  My breathing was heavy and my limbs felt twisted and bruised. I was lying down on a soft but bristly surface. The last thing I remembered was white snow at the back end of my skis before something hit me from the side.

  I opened my eyes. Bright light illuminated one side and it was pitch black on the other. As I shifted, pine branches underneath me pricked my skin. I lifted my head.

  Scar sat crossed legged, rubbing his hands together. “Hey, you’re awake.” He came to my side.

  “What happened?”

  “There was an avalanche.”

  “How are we not under snow?”

  “We are, sort of. My family used to come to this lodge a decade or so ago in the summer. I explored the mountains with my brothers, and remembered this cave. Before the snow hit us, I rammed into you and pushed you into the cave.” He looked toward the entrance. “We’re under quite a bit of snow, Jules.”

  The opening was at least ten by ten feet and entirely blocked. I wasn’t quite sure how I was alive, but if it were not for Scar, I knew I would have most likely been an icicle by now.

  “You saved my life.”

  “For now.” Gloom passed over his face.

  “What do you mean?”

  “That entrance is like a sheet of ice. It’s thick. I tried to poke it with your pole and couldn’t get through at all.”

  I sat up. There wasn’t much space in the cave. I should have known better than to wish to be buried under an avalanche instead of spending time with my mom and her boyfriend at the resort. In my experience, the wish fairy had a twisted sense of humor. How long would it be before someone found us? Did we have enough air here to last? My lungs tightened at the thought and the walls around us seemed to close in. A few more seconds, and I would start hyperventilating.

  “Jules. Relax. We’re not dead yet.” He wrapped his arm around me.

  His words didn’t help.

  “Come on. Breathe. Please? Who knows how long we’ll be stuck here.” He removed my gloves and began rubbing my hands between his.

  My breathing grew shallower. I pulled away, knelt on the pine branches, braced myself on my hands, and looked at him from below. I didn’t know what I expected him to do, but I did know it would take much more than a pep talk to calm me down.

  “I know I can say some stupid shit sometimes, and things don’t come out of my mouth the way they’re supposed to, but you need to calm down. For me. Please?”

  There was nothing Scar could say to make me feel better. I had never realized I was claustrophobic, but then again, I had never been in a confined space without a way out before either. As the air wheezed in and out of my lungs, my panic increased. The room was spinning quicker with each second and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I passed out. I was light headed and taking in too much air, too quickly.

  Then my oxygen was cut off by Scar’s lips as he pressed his warm mouth to mine. It only took that first touch for me to forget where I was and to concentrate on the softness of his lips. My lungs filled with his breath, and my head spun for a different reason. My entire body responded with need. Desperate t
o sustain the euphoria, I grasped onto his arms and pulled him in closer.

  His lips molested mine as if their functional ability depended on me.

  The taste of him was like a drug—sexy, powerful, and enticing. I opened wider to feel his tongue swiping against mine and was rewarded with a deeper kiss. Soft, giving, and demanding at the same time, I could not get enough of him. The ripple on his upper lip grazed my skin gently. Our breathing became linked, and moans sounded out in a melody of lust. I wasn’t sure which one of us pulled away first, but I wanted more. Even if I wouldn’t admit to what had happened, my body needed more.

  “Are you okay?” His breath swept along my cheek and his finger pulled along my lower lip.

  “Yes.”

  Scar leaned his forehead against mine.

  “You kissed me,” I said, because honestly, there was nothing else in my head at the moment. My lips were still burning with the heat of his mouth.

  “I’ve been thinking about your lips for years.”

  “Really?”

  “Jules, your lips… I don’t want to die without kissing you again.”

  As the predicament we were in came back into focus, I pulled away. The cave walls closed in on me again as I looked around their rocky surface for an escape.

  “We’re not going to die,” he said

  “How do you know? And stop kidding.” I punched him in his arm, but the tightening in my chest did not ease. “We’ll run out of air before anyone finds us.”

  “We won’t. There are cracks in these rocks.” He pointed to the ceiling. “Watch this.” Scar removed a lighter out of his pocket and flicked it near a pine branch. The needles sizzled, releasing a fresh aroma. The smoke drifted up to the cave’s ceiling and disappeared between the fissures.

  “I’m just not sure how much snow is covering us, but we definitely have some ventilation.”

  I pulled my arms around my body, hugging myself. “Well, then I guess if we don’t asphyxiate, then we’ll freeze.”

  “Well, you’re a ball of positive, aren’t you? Come here.”

  I was glad Scar didn’t panic. He brought me closer to him, spread his legs wide, and sat behind me, wrapping his arms around me. The immediate heat of him penetrated through my jacket, providing instant warmth. Scar’s body was like a heating pad.