You Never Know

by Mary Calmes

  “So I have to deal with this for a bit,” he said, grinning at me, leaning forward to kiss my forehead.

  “Me!” Ryder announced.

  Ash chuckled and leaned forward and kissed his forehead, too, before taking the little boy’s face in his hands. “You stay with Hagen, okay?”

  He nodded.

  Ash’s gaze returned to me. “Give me your keys.”

  I fished them out of my pocket for him.

  “I’ll run home, take care of my phone call, and then I’ll meet you at the hospital, hero.”

  “Quit with that.”

  He curled long pieces of wet hair around my ears. “Maybe I should run back to your place and grab you some dry clothes.”

  “It’s locked.”

  He jingled my keys. “I think I’ve got that covered.”

  “No, just…. I’m fine. Meet me at the hospital.”

  “Your wish is my command.”

  “Go away.”

  He squeezed my shoulder, then rose and was on the phone, starting his call as he strode toward the back gate. Esposito let him out as my attention returned to the boys because Janelle Mafuolo, one of the EMTs, joined us. We had known each other since the second grade when she brought palusami to share at World Food Day and I had been the only one to try it. I swapped her some of my mother’s Boston baked beans, and it was quite the combination.

  She began to ask questions. “How long was he under the water, Hage?”

  “I have no idea,” I replied, tousling Ryder’s hair. “How long was Bran down there, kiddo?”

  “When he started sinking, I ran to get you,” he told me.

  “I know if you were supposed to be watching them, you would have never left them alone back here,” Janelle commented, glancing around.

  “Yeah, no, I wasn’t the one in charge,” I agreed as the other EMT, Lockley—it was stitched on his uniform—put a cervical collar around Brandon’s neck to keep it stationary before slightly lifting him to put the board halfway under his back. I did the same on the other side, and once he was on the board, they carefully strapped him down, and Janelle took the other side and they lifted together, heading for the ambulance.

  “Sweetie,” she said to Ryder. “Where’s your daddy?”

  “He had to go to work.”

  She nodded. “So who was here watching you?”

  “Eric,” he answered.

  “And where is Eric now?”

  “He went to the store.”

  “Mmmm-hmmm,” she said disdainfully.

  “You want to follow us to the hospital or drive your truck?” Lockley asked me as Ryder and I walked beside them, his little hand in mine.

  “My truck just left.”

  “With that hottie actor?” Janelle chimed in, prying.

  “Yes,” I said, because even though I’d been keeping the fact that we were together under wraps, there was really no reason for it beyond not wanting to answer questions.

  “Ambulance it is,” she said, smiling at me fondly.

  Her response, more than anything, made me feel better about Brandon. If he was in any danger, she would have never even asked.

  “So we’re going to the hospital basically for fun, right?” I asked snidely.

  She nodded. “Yep. And plus since he’s a minor, I want to be absolutely certain he’s good.”

  “But you think he is.”

  “I do. How long did you perform CPR, would you say?”

  “It felt like forever.”

  “No, I know, but it was probably maybe two minutes, three at the most.”

  “Yeah, probably.”

  “He was really lucky you were there.”

  I couldn’t argue.

  “Some things are just meant to be.”

  I believed that too.

  “You all need to get out of those wet clothes,” Lockley said, indicating to me, Brandon, and Ryder. “But until you can, we’ve got blankets in the rig for you to wrap up in.”

  I was hoping my luck would hold when we got to the hospital. Saving Mitchell Thayer’s son was a blessing, seeing the man himself would not be. The groan came out of me as I took a seat in the ambulance.

  “I think it’s romantic,” Janelle commented, knowing exactly what my issue was.

  “You’re a sick woman.”

  “So I’ve been told.” She smirked at me.

  Weirdest day ever.

  INSIDE THE ambulance, I supervised Ryder putting on his sweats and socks and Nikes. His Green Bay Packers hoodie turned my twinge of fear into all-out dread.

  As Janelle tended to Brandon, I asked Ryder, “So, where are your folks, kiddo?”

  “My mom is home and—”

  “Our mom is in Carmel, where we live for half the year,” Brandon interrupted, reaching for my hand. I took his in mine, squeezing gently.

  “And Dad is looking at the new place where he’s gonna work.”

  Fuck.

  “I asked Esposito to call,” Janelle told me. “So I’m sure he’ll be meeting us when we get to the hospital or get there soon after. If Mitch doesn’t pick up his phone, I’ll have Esposito drive over to the lumber mill and talk to him.”

  “Eric was supposed to be watching us, but he went to the store,” Brandon added.

  I’d already heard this, of course.

  Ryder nodded. “He told us to stay out of the pool while he was gone.”

  Brandon made a noise of pure boy disgust. “He was probably gonna make some more gross food that only him and Dad eat.”

  “Oh yeah? Eric’s not a good cook?” I asked, wanting to hear about the failings of the new man in my ex’s life. It was certainly petty, but I didn’t care.

  “Everything he makes is disgusting,” Brandon assured me.

  Ryder made a retching noise to back him up.

  “I hear you,” I sympathized. “I’m a big mac n’ cheese guy myself.”

  Brandon whimpered. “I love mac n’ cheese.”

  “Well, maybe after this your dad’ll get you guys pizza or something.”

  Both sets of eyes lit up in anticipation.

  “But you gotta get all checked out,” I told Brandon. “You gotta make sure your brain is still working and all.”

  “You could come get pizza.”

  “I could,” I agreed, “but I don’t have any dry clothes.”

  “Sorry,” he told me, squeezing my hand again.

  “It’s okay, buddy. What’re wet clothes between friends?”

  He laughed, and so did Ryder as he snuggled in closer.

  “Don’t get wet again,” I cautioned the little boy.

  “I don’t mind,” he admitted, beaming.

  “Awww,” Janelle cooed.

  I really needed to run.

  IN THE course of the next thirty minutes, I sat in the emergency room with Ryder in my lap and spoke first to one nurse, then another, then Dr. Krause, and another doctor, went to radiology with Brandon because Ryder reported that his brother hit his head on the diving board, came back, gave Esposito a statement, dried my hair with one of the five towels the truly kind Dr. Krause brought me, and was still sitting there when the curtain yanked open and the one and only Mitch Thayer stepped into the space.

  My first thought upon seeing him after seventeen years was that I had forgotten how blue his eyes were. They were bright and beautiful and the exact color of the summer sky. I was really glad I was sitting because I could tell from the way the tremble rolled through me, my knees would have buckled. I was annoyed in an instant. What the hell kind of reaction was that?

  “Oh Bran,” he rasped and went instantly to his son, took hold of the hand that wasn’t in mine, and grasped it tight.

  Brandon’s eyes welled up fast, and he let go of me so he could clutch at his father. Ryder hopped off my lap, ran around the other side of the bed, and launched himself at Mitch, who tucked him into his side, hugging him close with his free arm.

  I stood to leave, but when I turned, I was faced with Dr. Kraus
e.

  “Mr. Wylie?” He seemed perplexed, if the furrowed brow and pursed lips were any indication.

  “His dad’s here now,” I explained, draping the damp towel over the chair I’d just vacated.

  “Oh, okay,” he said, but he kept smiling at me expectantly, like there had to be more.

  “I’m not gonna stay.” I had no idea why he was trying to include me when clearly, I wasn’t part of the family. “I don’t wanna intrude.”

  “How could you intrude? You saved the child’s life.”

  “Yeah, but—”

  “No!”

  The yell was high-pitched, and I was startled by Ryder slipping around the doctor and grabbing my arm with both hands, holding on for dear life.

  “I agree with the no.”

  At the sound of the voice I knew as well as my own, I flicked up my gaze and took in Mitch’s beautiful face, the lines there and at the corners of his eyes only increasing his allure. Only character had been added, nothing taken, nothing diminished. He was still a stunning man, and I felt the first pain in my chest.

  “Don’t go yet,” he said hoarsely. “Please.”

  My mouth went dry, and I pushed air through my lungs even as I reminded myself I had been to war and this could not be any more frightening than that. But my stomach didn’t believe me—it flipped and twisted and rolled.

  Nodding, forcing a smile, I took Ryder’s hand and stood still while Dr. Krause brought my first love, possibly the love of my life, up to speed.

  I’d thought he was pretty when he was eighteen, the last time I’d seen him, but thirty-five looked really good on the man, and I found myself staring at his profile as he listened.

  In moments, he was pacing, seamlessly, fluidly, and I was transfixed by things like the stiff collar of his shirt grazing the side of his tanned neck, the veins in his muscular forearms, the shadows under his eyes that told me he wasn’t getting enough sleep, and his hands fisting and relaxing again and again.

  The last time I saw him, he was young—just as I’d been. He hadn’t grown into the broad shoulders I was seeing, the wide expanse of chest, or the long muscular legs. What remained from his youth were those gorgeous cerulean eyes that I found trained on me when I lifted my gaze from the floor to take in his handsome, sharply angled face. The depths I remembered from my dreams swallowed me.

  “You saved my son,” he said, facing me, looking down from the couple inches he had on me, inhaling deeply as he studied my face.

  “I—” It was hard to breathe for a moment. “Ryder found me, it was just luck.”

  He shook his head and I heard him draw in a deep breath. “No. There’s no such thing.”

  I couldn’t keep looking him in the eye and so concentrated on his chin instead. The gold stubble was very sexy, and I couldn’t help but admire the lines of the man—the hard, chiseled angle of his jaw, the crow’s feet, and the vulnerable column of his throat.

  “You saved him, and all he has is a really big bump on the back of his head.”

  I nodded, exhaling as I lifted my eyes, fairly certain this would be my one and only time to see him up close because my plan was to never be in another room with him.

  Please God, never again. I could not have anything to do with him. It would break me a second time.

  “I wanted to come and see you, but… I had no idea what to say.”

  Staring into all that blue rendered me mute.

  I knew the first time he walked into my homeroom during my freshman year of high school and looked toward the back where I was, and I saw him, all golden surfer boy perfection, that I wanted to be all over him. The fact that he scanned the room, saw me, and from then on, never took his eyes off me—in three years—was one of the greatest thrills of my life.

  “Hagen, I—”

  “Mitchell!”

  A man suddenly appeared there between us, wrapping his arms around my ex. He was younger, much closer to twenty than the thirty-five Mitch was. I guessed maybe twenty-two, twenty-four. He was all toned, manscaped, bronzed, gym-sculpted perfection. I took a step back, then two, then five, and watched him hug Mitch tight even as Mitch kept staring at me.

  “Wait,” he ordered, hands on the chest of the guy pressed up against him so intimately. “This is not what it looks like.”

  But it was. I knew who I was looking at. Ryder had told me already. This was the Eric who told the boys to stay out of the pool and went to the store. I wasn’t stupid.

  “No worries,” I assured him, leaning sideways to wave to Brandon. “I’ll see you later, champ. Stay out of the pool till you’re all better.”

  “You’re leaving?”

  “Your dad’s here now,” I reminded him. “You be good.”

  Brandon opened his mouth, but I pivoted and left, was halfway down the hall before I realized that in my haste to run, I was still holding on to Ryder’s hand. He had gone along without question and now stood smiling up at me, indulgently, waiting for whatever brilliant move was next.

  “Shitballs,” I grumbled under my breath, taking a knee.

  “I think that’s double money in the swear jar,” he informed me, grimacing. “My mom would have kittens if she heard me say that.”

  “Kittens?”

  He nodded cheerfully.

  I sighed heavily. “I suspect so.”

  He put a hand on my shoulder. “We should eat lunch after this. I’m starving.”

  It was so funny, so deadpan, delivered like he was thirty-six instead of six, very worldly. “Really? Should we?”

  “Yeah. And if you mention getting pizza to Dad, he’ll probably take us.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  He giggled.

  “I’m sure if you ask, he’ll take you, all right?”

  Slow head shake. “But I don’t wanna go without you.”

  “Listen, I—”

  “Hello.”

  I turned my head and looked up at Eric.

  He was glowering down at me.

  I stayed silent.

  Quick clearing of his throat before he crossed his arms. “I’m the manny.”

  I squinted up at him.

  “Actually, let me qualify,” he spat, clearly pissed off. “I was the manny. Now I’m being shipped back to Portland.”

  I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say. Was he expecting an apology from me for doing his job?

  “Not that I’m upset about it,” he rushed out. “Those kids drove me nuts.”

  “You’re really leaving?” Ryder chirped happily.

  “Yes,” Eric said like he was the first grader instead of the little boy.

  “Yeah!” Ryder whooped, leaning away from me and clapping.

  Eric’s glare was icy.

  Ryder shot him back a look of pure disdain. “I told you, he’s my daddy, not yours.”

  I looked back at Ryder, because there was no way those were his words.

  He bit his bottom lip, like he knew that had been extra sassy and perhaps went a bit too far. “That’s what Auntie Jessie said to say.”

  Eric let out an exasperated huff and then turned on his heel and left.

  “Did she,” I said, unable to hold off the grin.

  His smile mirrored mine, just as evil. “Yep.”

  “Sounds like her.”

  His little face lit up. “Do you know my Auntie Jessie?”

  “I do. I know her well.”

  Huge grin now. “She’s coming to visit next week.”

  That would be nice. Mitch’s little sister and I were always close. I had missed her when she left for college.

  “What does she do now?”

  “She’s a soloist with the American Ballet Theatre.”

  The whole answer was very rehearsed. “You practice that?”

  He nodded quickly, and it was just so cute that I found myself taking him in my arms again and squeezing him tight before I remembered I was still damp with pool water.

  “Sorry,” I apologized.

  “I like it.
” He sighed long and loud. His head clunked down on my shoulder and he gave me his weight as he wrapped his arms around my neck. Seconds later, Mitch walked up, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. Like I’d seen his son do, he was biting his bottom lip. His eyes were dark on me, wary.

  “The manny?” I teased.

  A relieved smile came slowly, curling his lip and bringing a steadying twinkle to the sea-blue depths. I had always loved watching the color brighten from sad to happy.

  “I told you it wasn’t what you thought,” he said gruffly.

  I shot him a look.

  His chuckle was very sexy. “He’s too young for me.”

  “You’re a big NFL star,” I reminded him.

  “That was a long time ago.” He sighed, reaching out to graze my cheek with his fingers, his thumb slipping across my eyebrow—but only for a fraction of a second. He pulled back like he was burned. “Sorry, that was… too familiar. Forgive me.”

  I nodded.

  “It’s been a long time.”

  “Yes, it has.”

  “I just want you to know. I really missed your face.”

  My stomach twisted as I gave Ryder a final squeeze and stood up to face his father. “I should go.”

  Ryder slipped his hand back into mine. “But you’re gonna eat lunch with us.”

  “Are you?” Mitch asked, and I heard the wistful quality of his tone.

  “No, I already had lunch,” I told the little boy, ignoring his father. “I have to get home and shower and change clothes. You should shower too. Chlorine is gross.”

  Ryder nodded. “Okay. I’ll shower. Are you gonna come over after?”

  “No,” I told him. “I have job sites to go to today.”

  “Where do you work?” he asked.

  I glanced over at Mitch. “Little help?”

  “But I wanna know all this stuff too,” he said, his voice steady, low and husky, making my heart pound.

  “Oh?”

  His scowl was instant. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “How long ya been back?”

  “I was working up to it,” Mitch rumbled. “Talking to you—that’s not so easy.”

  “I see,” I said hoarsely, my voice going out on me before I took my hand out of Ryder’s again and nudged him toward Mitch. “I’ll see you later, buddy, okay?”

  “When?”