Flip the Witch Switch

by Amanda M. Lee

  Snort. Snort.

  “We’re not getting a pig.” I was firm on that. “Absolutely not. No way. No how. Nothing doing.”

  “I wasn’t necessarily talking about a pig.” He smiled as he tilted his head back and forth, as if he was having a silent conversation with Peg that only they could hear.

  Snort. Snort.

  “What were you talking about?”

  He shrugged, noncommittal. “I don’t know. What about a dog?”

  “We both work a lot of hours and take off in the middle of the night without any notice,” I reminded him. “You could be called away for weeks on an assignment.”

  He shot me a look. “That’s happened once since we got together, and I only took that assignment so I could have leverage over my boss to move in with you here.”

  “Yeah, but it could happen.”

  “It could, but what the odds? Besides, your mother and aunts live within easy walking distance. If we needed help, or to let the dog out, they could come and get it.”

  He seemed earnest, as if he was really interested in getting a dog. I had to nip that in the bud. “We can’t until I’m positive I’m in control of my magic.”

  He slid his eyes to me, confused. “What do you mean?”

  “Dogs are on a different wavelength than humans. They see and hear ghosts. With my new powers … .” I didn’t finish what I was going to say. I couldn’t. My necromancer powers were a relatively new occurrence. It was only recently that I realized the ghosts I could always talk to were required to do my bidding if I unleashed my powers. I’d done it twice now – both times to make a killer pay – and I was still coming to grips with my new reality.

  “Is that true?” Landon asked.

  I nodded. “Why do you think there are such things as dog whistles?”

  “That’s because they can hear things we can’t.”

  “They can sense things most normal humans can’t either.”

  He pursed his lips, looking me over with a studied gaze. “You could be hosing me,” he said. “You might simply not want a dog – which I don’t get because they’re awesome – and this is your way of fooling me. You’re good enough to pull it off.”

  “Thank you.”

  “That wasn’t a compliment.”

  “I’m taking it as one anyway,” I shot back. “I don’t have anything against dogs. I had one as a kid … and I loved him. I was crushed when he died.”

  “Sugar.” Landon bobbed his head. “I’ve heard the stories. You know, loving another pet doesn’t mean you’ll forget him, right?”

  “I know that, but now is not the time.”

  “Because of your magic.”

  “Yes. And the fact that I just bought a new business and I’m working more hours than ever.”

  “A business you could take the dog to while you work.”

  Oh, he just had an answer for everything. “And what if I’m right and my magic somehow hurts a dog?”

  “I think you’re making excuses because you don’t want to replace Sugar,” Landon countered. “Somehow you think it’s disloyal. I’m not sure I’m equipped to deal with that form of neurosis this evening, so we’re going to table this discussion. At some point, though, I’m going to want a dog. I’m going to want any kids we have to play with a dog. That doesn’t need to happen right now, though, so I’m going to pick my battles.”

  “That’s probably wise.”

  “Besides, I have Peg to play with.” He lifted the pig and rubbed his nose against the animal’s snout. “I’m going to teach you to walk on a leash and dress you in something manly so I can take you in public this summer.”

  “Please take her,” Mom announced as she breezed into the room from the kitchen. She had a spatula in her hand and looked surprised to see us. “Why are you guys hanging around in here?”

  “Why aren’t you cooking dinner?” Landon countered, looking up from the pig. He shrank back when Mom pinned him with a dark look. “Have I mentioned how lovely you look when you have that ‘just baking something good’ glow?”

  I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing at his hangdog expression.

  Mom smiled at him as if she was feeling nothing but adoration, but I could read the tension radiating beneath her perfect posture. “Thank you, Landon. You can still take that pig.”

  “No, he can’t.” Aunt Tillie, wearing camouflage leggings that matched Peg’s tutu, appeared in the doorway. She was dressed for action – I could practically feel the chip digging into her shoulder – and I sensed we’d interrupted some sort of argument. “Peg is a part of the family. You don’t just give away family.

  “Er, well, we can give away Thistle,” she continued. “If Landon wants a pet, let’s put a collar on her. She’s nowhere near as cute as Peg.”

  “I agree wholeheartedly with that.” Landon gave the pig another pat before standing. “Not the part about taking Thistle. We don’t want her. No one is as cute as Peg.”

  “I think I’m being supplanted by a pig,” I muttered, shaking my head.

  “I guess that means you’re done eating bacon, right, Landon?” Mom asked pointedly.

  Landon stilled. He’d obviously never considered the question. “Oh, well … .”

  My lips curved. “Sounds like a good idea,” I said. “I mean … that could be Peg’s brother or sister. You don’t want to be the guy eating Peg’s brother or sister. That’s kind of like cannibalism.”

  Landon made a face. “Are you trying to piss me off?”

  “No. I’m being honest. I mean … look at this face.” I bent over and grabbed Peg, ignoring the way she fought my efforts as I lifted her. “How can you eat this face?”

  “Put her down, Bay.” All mirth fled Landon’s features as he glared at me. “She doesn’t like being picked up that way.”

  I acquiesced, but only because the pig was heavy and I had no upper body strength. Holding her was awkward. “She loves you, Landon.” I offered up my best pretty smile.

  “And I’m done talking about this.” Landon refused to meet Peg’s forlorn gaze as she tried to get his attention by dancing. She was used to him petting her for extended periods. He had other things on his mind this evening. “What’s for dinner?”

  “Pork loin,” Mom replied without missing a beat.

  It took everything I had not to choke on my laughter as Landon’s expression fell.

  “Seriously?” He almost looked sick to his stomach.

  “No.” Mom shook her head. “We haven’t been able to cook pork products since Aunt Tillie brought her home. We have tacos, enchiladas and burritos, as well as homemade salsa and guacamole. You know … all your favorite Mexican fixings.”

  “But no pork, right?” I asked.

  Mom shot me a look. “I would let that subject go, Bay.”

  “Definitely,” Landon agreed, slipping his arm around my waist. “Mexican food sounds great.”

  I was more than happy to let conversation regarding Peg fall by the wayside if it meant I could change the subject to something near and dear to my heart. “Fine. I’m done talking about Peg.”

  “I wish that could be the rule of the house every moment of every day,” Mom said as she strode into the kitchen. “I’m sick of talking about Peg.”

  “Don’t listen to her,” Aunt Tillie soothed Peg. “She’s just jealous because you’re my new favorite and she and her sisters have no way of supplanting you as the queen of the house. In fact … yeah … I think I should get you a tiara.”

  Mom merely sighed. “I hate that pig.”

  She looked so tired I momentarily thought about letting her slide away without commenting on the big to-do of the following evening. I would’ve had to turn in my witch card if I did, though. “Let’s talk about something else.” I clapped my hands to show my enthusiasm. “For example, let’s talk about your date with Chief Terry.”

  Landon brightened considerably. “Yes! Let’s talk about that.” He grabbed the huge bowl of guacamole s
itting on the counter. “Have you picked out a special outfit for your date? Do you know where he’s taking you? Have you thought about protection so you don’t make Bay a big sister so late in her life?”

  Furious, I shot him a dirty look. “Late in my life?”

  “That came out wrong,” he said hurriedly.

  “I would start running if I were you,” my Aunt Marnie warned him. “You’re in trouble now. You stepped in it with both of them.”

  Landon decided to prove he was more bravado than brains. “I’ve got everything under control. Trust me.”

  “Just in case, I’ll take that from you.” Aunt Twila, her clown-red hair shining under the warm kitchen lights, plucked the guacamole bowl from his hands. “I don’t want to risk you dropping it when the women in this house decide to start smacking you around.”

  “I think you might’ve misconstrued what I was really trying to say,” Landon said sweetly.

  “And what was that?” Mom asked.

  “That you’re all lovely, the best cooks ever and I’m the luckiest man alive because you allow me to be part of your lives.” He sounded so sincere, flashed such a charming smile, it was impossible for the women in the room – including me – not to melt.

  Aunt Tillie was the only one who didn’t fall for his game. “You’re so full of crap you should be dressed in brown and covered in flies.”

  “And thank you for that lovely visual,” Landon muttered. “Can we eat? I think I’m about to die of hunger. That’s the only excuse I have for allowing you guys to trap me multiple times in the same conversation.”

  “Yes, we can eat.” Mom gave him a swat with her spatula to get him moving.

  The dining room was empty when I slid through the doors. It was early in the week, so that wasn’t a big surprise. The Overlook’s most popular days are Thursday through Sunday. The other days were something of a dead zone, especially before the summer season kicked into high gear.

  “Just us tonight?” I asked as I sat in my usual chair.

  “Just us,” Mom confirmed, shifting a platter of chopped taco vegetables toward the middle of the table. “It’s a quiet night. We’re not fully booked again for a couple of weeks.”

  “That’s a nice break for you,” Landon noted as he grabbed the container of warm tortilla shells. “It allows you to get caught up on things.”

  “What things?” Aunt Tillie asked blandly. “What is it you think they need to get caught up on?”

  Landon’s face was blank. “What do you mean?”

  “You said they need to catch up on things,” Aunt Tillie replied without hesitation. “You must feel that they’re dropping the ball on certain tasks … that’s why they need to catch up. You should tell them all about it.”

  Landon scowled as he grabbed the platter of seasoned beef. “I’m not falling for that. We need to talk about something else.”

  I opened my mouth to bring up Chief Terry, but Mom silenced me with a jab of her finger.

  “Don’t even think about it,” Mom warned, steam practically coming out of her ears when she picked up on my intentions. “I brought you into this world. I can take you right back out of it.”

  She sounded serious. Now probably wasn’t the time to push her. “That’s not what I was going to bring up,” I lied, smoothly switching tactics. “Did you hear I found a body today?”

  “Yes, at the camp,” Mom replied, not missing a beat. “I think it’s horrible that a homeless person broke in and accidentally drowned. I hope things are fixed so that can’t happen again.”

  I knit my eyebrows, confused. “Who told you that?”

  “That’s what’s going around town.”

  “Well, it’s not true,” Landon said, handing me the pico de gallo. “The woman we found was young, twenty-five. She was missing out of Grand Rapids. We haven’t talked to her parents yet, but we don’t see any indication that she was homeless.”

  “Oh.” Mom appeared legitimately confused. “That’s what the women at the supermarket were saying. They were all atwitter, said Margaret Little had the inside scoop and that’s what she was saying.”

  Oh, well, that explained things. “You should’ve learned your lesson a long time ago about listening to Mrs. Little,” I pointed out.

  “She probably only said that because she doesn’t want people to remember she donated that pool,” Aunt Tillie argued, reaching toward the condiment platter and grabbing a handful of lettuce. I watched with morbid fascination as she slipped it under the table, to where Peg patiently waited to be fed.

  “That’s a point I didn’t think about,” I admitted as I filled a taco shell with my favorite fixings. “The dedication sign is still there, the one she bought for herself … and then had that weird dedication ceremony to unveil.”

  “Yes, the ceremony where she was the only one who showed up, so she made all the kids get out of the lake and attend,” Aunt Tillie drawled. “I remember it well. She was upset because there was something wrong with the sign.”

  Now that she mentioned it, the words jogged something in my memory. “Right. Her name was misspelled. Margaret Bitter. She said she double-checked the name and they had the right one and that someone else called and changed it after she placed the order.” I slid my eyes to Aunt Tillie. “And I just now realized that was you.”

  Aunt Tillie adopted an air of innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Right.”

  Landon chuckled as he took the sour cream from me. “We talked to the woman who owns the camp. She seems a little … out there. I’m not sure she’ll be any help. Tracking down anyone who has been hanging around that property won’t be easy because of the way it’s set up. If someone wants to hide there, there’s not much that can be done to stop them … or detect them, for that matter.”

  “Gertie?” Mom nodded as she smacked Aunt Tillie to keep her from feeding Peg a handful of tomatoes. “I will lock that pig out of the dining room during meals if you’re not careful.”

  “I’m not afraid of you.” Aunt Tillie said the words, but she pulled her hand back. “I wasn’t doing anything anyway.”

  Mom continued to stare at her for a long beat and then focused on me. “Gertie lost everything. It’s normal for that to take a toll on people. I mean … she lost her husband and son months apart.”

  “And that fire that Joey died in was terrible,” Marnie added. “It was a weird shed that he was using as a house, if I remember right.”

  “Why was he living in a shed?” Landon asked.

  “Gertie thought it was time for him to live on his own – at least that’s the story I heard – but he didn’t have any money, so he moved into the shed. It was a whole big thing and everyone was gossiping about it, something Gertie hated.”

  “And he somehow set the shed on fire?” I asked.

  “He had a lantern out there because there was no electricity. He was reading or something and kicked it over. Apparently the fire spread fast. There was no way for him to get out.”

  “That’s terrible.” I made a clucking sound with my tongue and moved to look under the table when I felt a wet nose against my shin. Sure enough, Peg was waiting for a treat. “I think someone needs to take this pig to obedience classes.”

  “I don’t think there are obedience classes for pigs,” Marnie argued.

  “I bet there are,” Landon said, his mouth full of food. “Pigs are supposed to be smarter than dogs. Make Aunt Tillie take Peg to a dog obedience class.”

  Mom brightened considerably. “Now that right there is a fabulous idea. Aunt Tillie, I expect you to sign Peg up for classes tomorrow. I mean it.”

  Aunt Tillie glared at Landon. “You’re on my list.”

  Six

  Even though it was spring, the nights in northern Lower Michigan remained cold. There was frost on the windows when I woke, which compelled me to want to stay warm and toasty in my bed. Landon stretched next to me, awake, but he showed no compunction to get up either.

>   “It will be summer soon,” I noted, resting my hand on his chest as I snuggled closer.

  “I love summer here,” he said, taking my hand and pressing a kiss to the palm. “I like the food your mother and aunts make ... and the fact that everyone gets drunk while dancing out on the bluff ... and that we can take walks at night without having to bundle up.”

  I lifted my eyes to his. “You like the dancing on the bluff?” I was understandably dubious. “I thought the nudity bothered you.”

  “Aunt Tillie’s nudity always bothers me.”

  I waited.

  “I still like the nights on the bluff.” He grinned down at me. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for that wine. It makes everything seem a lot more enjoyable than it really is.”

  “Yeah.” I rolled to my back and stared at the ceiling. “I wonder if Chief Terry will start spending the night at the inn. Do you think he’ll participate in the naked dancing?”

  Landon made a choked sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a groan. “I hadn’t really considered it. Thank you so much for putting that picture in my head.”

  “It’s just ... different.”

  “I thought you wanted it to be different. You said you wanted him to be happy. You told him to pick a woman and date her, that you wouldn’t stand in his way. Then, when he picked the wrong woman, you stood in his way.”

  Oh, well, that was ridiculous. “That woman was a murderer.”

  “Yes, but you had no way of knowing that when they first started dating. You were against her from the start.”

  He wasn’t wrong. “I wasn’t against her.” That made me sound bad. “I just thought he was selling himself short.”

  Landon’s lips curved. “And now he’s not because he’s dating your mother?”

  “I think he’s always wanted to date my mother but didn’t because the timing never seemed right. This is simply the universe righting itself.”

  “Oh, well, that was so well stated one might think you actually practiced saying it.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “You’re such a bad liar.” He rolled and started tickling me, causing me to gasp and squeal as I wrestled with him.