by Ruby Dixon
As I watch it retreat, a long, straight bone wobbles through the air and drops to the ground a short distance away.
I narrow my eyes, squinting at it. Am I seeing things? Is Leezh or Raahosh nearby? Was that one of their arrows? I have seen them hunt with the weapon, though, and trained with it myself. I know how to aim and hit my prey with one of the slim arrows, but that shot…it was not good. It would not kill the snow-cat even if the creature remained entirely still.
The snow-cat limps away, and in the distance I can hear a female letting out an angry string of strange human words. Curious, I get to my feet and crouch low, remaining in my hiding spot amongst the intisar bushes. Their spines pull at my clothes, but I nudge the leaves aside carefully, gazing out.
A figure swathed in many layers of furs moves through the snow. The form is small enough to be human, and curvy enough that I can guess which one it is. What is Mah-dee doing out here? Alone?
She wanders away, scooping up her arrow and then heading down into a nearby valley, presumably to chase the snow-cat she is hunting.
I glance back at Taushen. He is clearly not fit to be hunting this morning, and I worry I cannot leave him. At the same time, Mah-dee is alone and out in the wild. She will get hurt…or worse, if she corners the sickly snow-cat. I am torn.
I move back to the ridge and look over at Taushen again. To my relief, he has given up on his nets and is heading back in the direction of the tribal cave, a long, heavy fish slung over one shoulder. Good. That leaves me free to go and rescue Mah-dee from herself.
I turn back toward her and see she is already down in the valley, chasing after her prey. Her steps are slow and awkward in the snowshoes, and she uses the end of the bow as a pole to guide her. As I watch, she stumbles forward, planting face first into the thick snow.
I sigh and head down the side of the hill after her, stifling my irritation. Humans are painfully unaware of just how dangerous it is for them to be out in the snows. Mah-dee is more unaware than most, but she is also newer than the others. If this were Jo-see or Claire, I would have harsh words for them, but I suppose I must be forgiving when it comes to Mah-dee.
I hike down after her.
All thoughts of forgiveness and understanding disappear when she pauses in the snow again and draws her bow, and I hear a metlak’s warning cry, followed by the snow-cat’s howl. Worry thuds in my chest. How can one small human find so much trouble so quickly? I speed up, drawing my knives.
Mah-dee is brave. She swings her bow toward the metlak’s call, not backing away. Her form tenses, and in the distance, I see a metlak’s dirty, yellow fur against the snow. It crouches low, then calls again.
Mah-dee fires at it, but her arrow flops to the ground close to her feet. She mutters something in human again.
The metlak charges.
I bellow a response, leaping forward. I cross the short distance between myself and Mah-dee in a matter of moments. As a hunter, my duty is to protect, and I surge in front of Mah-dee even as she fumbles for another arrow. Blades drawn, I snarl at the metlak, daring it to approach.
Its snarl turns into a screech of fear. It turns and scrambles away, as I suspected it would. They are cowardly but vicious, and tend to run if confronted or cornered. It did not run from Mah-dee, and I shudder to think what it would have done to her if she had stayed in place and continued to try to fire arrows. The thought makes my stomach clench, and anger bursts through my mind.
Stupid human.
I chase the metlak a bit longer, taking out my rage on it. The creature continues to hoot and screech its fear, and I do not stop until I am certain it will not circle back to Mah-dee. I slow my steps and then turn back, scanning for the snow-cat or other dangers that Mah-dee might have stumbled into. I sense nothing, however, and relax enough to sheathe my blades.
Mah-dee is still standing where I left her, mouth open. The bow is in her hands, half-raised, an arrow resting. “What was all that?” she asks me. “And where’d you come from?”
“Did you not see my tracks?” I snarl at her. “Did you not see the tracks of the metlak before you charged into this valley?”
She blinks at me. “Tracks? I…oh. I didn’t think about that.” She looks back behind her, at the churned-up snow left from her snowshoes. “I guess that should have been obvious.”
My irritation swells even greater. Even the youngest of kits is taught to look closely at churned snow. “Who is with you?” I will knock that hunter on the head for being such a fool as to let Mah-dee run off by herself.
“No one is with me.” She lifts her chin defiantly. “I’m alone.”
“What? How?” There is no one protecting her?
Her brows go down and she gives me an incredulous look. “I put one foot in front of the other and walked out?”
“And no one was there to stop you?”
“Last I checked, it was a tribe, not a prison. And I don’t know if you noticed, but people are a little busy lately. No one’s got time to hang out with a bored human.” She says it in a casual voice, but there is a tension on her round, funny-looking human face.
An arrow slides out of the quiver she has on her shoulder—her shoulder, of all places—and I absently pick it up. “Why is everyone so busy?”
“There was a party the other day, which I know you know about, because I saw you there.” Her cheeks flush pink. “And then Maylak had her baby, so a bunch of people set off to hunt one of those really enormous creatures—”
“Sa-kohtsk,” I say absently, moving forward and untying the quiver from her shoulder. “This goes at your hip, not over your arm.”
“Oh. A sa-kohtsk, right. Anyhow, they need cooties for the baby. They gotta parasite him up. You know how it goes.”
I do not understand payr-uh-site but I do know how a sa-kohtsk hunt works. The delicate khui are removed from the creature’s heart and given to the newborn kit so he may live. Sa-khui children are born without a khui – they are native to this world and we are not. The khui burrows into the chest and wraps around the heart, lighting the eyes of the host. It keeps us strong and healthy…and gives us resonance. The humans are still not comfortable with the idea of such a thing living inside them, but those without a khui perish in a handful of days. “A khui is a good thing.”
“So everyone keeps telling me.” She shrugs. “And my sister and a few people are also going out to the fruit cave to go harvest and scope the area out. Cave’s gonna be pretty empty for the next while.”
“I see.” I tie the quiver at her waist and then adjust where it hangs. Mah-dee stands there like a kit, oblivious to how close I am. My head is full of warring thoughts. I am angry that the tribe has gone on not one but two hunts and I was not included. Of course I was not. I am exiled. I am not welcome until I have been punished enough that Vektal is happy. The thought burns in my gut.
I am also still angry that Mah-dee is out here, alone. No one thought to protect the human? To see that she is kept busy? Give her something to do? “And so you came out here because…” I trail off, waiting for her to finish the thought.
Mah-dee’s cheeks are bright red with emotion. She finally slaps my hands away and scowls at me. “Like I said, because it’s not a prison?”
“I do not know what this ‘pree-sawn’ is.”
“Never mind.” She sighs. “Probably wasting my breath trying to explain to you how I feel.”
“But it is acceptable to waste my time and endanger yourself by trying to hunt?” I give her a curious look. “Is this a human thing I do not understand? Do you enjoy endangering yourself?”
She blows out an angry breath and her eyes narrow at me. Her hands go to her hips. “Fuck you.”
I go very still. I have heard that human word before. They spout it from time to time, but I have dismissed it as babble. It was not one I learned when the Elders’ Cave taught me their words, but one I overheard Jo-see say to Haeden recently, in between kissings. Lust blazes through me, surprising in its intensity. I st
MADDIE
Mate with him?
“Wait, whaaaaaat?” I put my hands up as Hassen pulls me against him, and my palms slap against his hard chest. Oh, wow. He’s…really warm. I didn’t realize how chilly it was out here until I touched him, and now all I can think about is his scorching heating pad of a chest with the silky blue fuzz covering his body. My hands are on his pectorals and he’s hard all over, which is fascinating and makes my girl parts sit up and pay attention.
“I will make it good for you,” he says in a gruff voice. “Tell me how you like to be pleasured and I will do it.”
His confusing words jerk me right back to reality. “Wait, no, I was telling you to fuck off, not that I want to fuck.”
He tilts his head, and it’s clear to me that he doesn’t understand the distinction. Heck, with every moment he touches me, I’m starting to lose track of the distinction, too. He’s all muscly and sexy and warm and gosh, it really has been a while since I’ve had sex.
Actually, it’s been a while since someone has touched me at all. I’ve been so isolated and alone out here, and Lila’s occupied with her new man and I’ve felt…discarded.
I sure don’t feel discarded right now, not with Hassen’s glowing eyes burning into mine.
Slowly, regretfully, I give him another shove and push back, moving away from him. “I’m not having sex with you. That was a figure of speech.”
He frowns. “Fig-yuur of speesh? I do not understand—”
“It means I was saying something you took the wrong way.”
“What did you mean, then?”
“I meant you are being rude and annoying.”
He huffs at that. “Then why did you demand that I fuck you?”
Okay, seriously. The arousal I felt at touching him is quickly disappearing behind irritation once more. “I. Didn’t.” I grit out each word. “I was trying to tell you that I can do what I want. I don’t need to ask anyone if I feel like hunting. You don’t, right?”
Hassen gives me a puzzled look. “Why do you want to hunt?”
“Because I am bored. I am so damn bored.” I sling the bow back over my shoulder, irritated. “The other girls in the cave are all busy with raising babies or making babies. Everyone else is out hunting or gathering or whatever the hell it is you people do. Even my sister won’t let me join her because I’m too damn fat and out of shape.” I’m still stinging over that one. Since coming to the ice planet, I’ve been shedding inches like crazy because of all the physical activity. I thought I was actually looking pretty svelte, so to hear that I’m considered a burden hurts.
No, scratch that. It makes me angry. No one’s giving me a fair shake on this planet, all because I was a little temperamental when I found out my sister was stolen.
Hassen reaches out and straightens the bow on my shoulder, pushing one side back that probably would have jabbed me in the eye if I turned to the left. “I understand.”
That isn’t what I expected to hear from the big, muscly jerk that stole my sister and just tried to make out with me. “You do?”
“I understand boredom.” He gestures at the endless snowy hills around us, his face hard. “You think I do not get bored with no one to talk to? Hunting day in and day out with barely a word spoken to another? You think I do not long for company around the fire at night? I would gladly take Taushen’s snoring over the silence of being alone.”
“I…oh.” I suddenly don’t know what to say. That sounds awful, and yet at the same time, I can’t believe I’m having feelings of sympathy toward the douche that stole my sister. Because I know what it’s like to be ignored. I know what it’s like to feel like everyone in the world is against you. I know what it feels like to be on the outside and wanting desperately to be accepted.
I just didn’t think I’d be feeling kinship towards Hassen. I’ve been told over and over again that Lila was never in danger with him, that he only stole her because he wanted to take care of her and mate with her, but I’ve been holding on to a lot of damn anger over that, regardless. He tried to force her hand, and that was not cool.
But now I’m also seeing another layer below ‘cocky jerkbag.’ He still is, but he’s also…lonely and desperate. He saw my sister as a chance and he took it. I should hate him for that. Instead, I keep thinking about how warm his fuzzy, velvety chest was.
I must be an idiot. “Well, if you’re bored,” I say lightly, “then teach me how to hunt. We can keep each other company.” I twang the bow string that’s snugged between my breasts like a seatbelt. “I need to learn to be useful. Not just because I need to contribute to the food situation, but I need something to do.”
I don’t point out the thought niggling in the back of my mind: that I need to be able to take care of myself if I ever can’t take it and want to leave the tribe. I keep telling myself that will never happen, and yet I keep thinking about it. Because I don’t feel loved, or needed, or accepted, and I didn’t realize how badly I needed those things until now.
Hassen regards me for such a long time that I can’t tell what’s going on in that head of his. Is he thinking about teaching me? Is he thinking dirty thoughts about me? Is he…focused on the fucking? I shiver at the thought, because that’s another that won’t leave my head.
Stupid head, always holding on to the wrong stuff.
I fiddle with the bowstring again and his gaze goes there. I freeze, because now that means he’s looking right at my boobs. I hope he’s not wondering why they’re so much bigger than all the other girls here. None of the aliens are fat, and that would be a hella awkward conversation to have.
“I am supposed to be exiled,” he finally says, looking up at my eyes once more.
“That’s cool,” I say brightly. “I’ll just teach myself. No biggie.” I turn away.
He grabs my arm, and to my surprise, he growls—just like a bear. It’s weird…and it makes my body thrill just a bit more than it should. “You did not let me finish, female.”
“Pfft. Then go ahead and finish, male.” I turn back to him and gesture grandly. “Continue.”
Hassen crosses his arms over his chest. And okay, I really should not be paying attention to the fact that it makes his arms flex into the most incredible biceps, or that his pectorals are these amazing flat squares of muscle that are just begging to be petted again. “We cannot tell anyone that we are meeting. I do not wish for the chief to prolong my exile.”
Oh. Is that his only concern? I smile, relieved. It feels like he just agreed to be my friend, and it’s strange how happy that makes me. “Cool. So you’re going to tutor me after all?”
He gives a quick nod and studies me again. “But not with this bow.”
“Why not?”
“Your arms are not long enough to draw it properly. You are smaller than Leezh.”
That’s not something I hear often, and I preen a bit at that. I mean, clearly he’s not talking about our figures, because Liz just had a baby and I’m still larger than her, but I like hearing it anyhow. “Then what?”
He grabs my hand and studies it, frowning to himself.
“W-what are you looking at?” God, I sound all breathless. But him grabbing my hand has kind of thrown me for a loop. His hands are so freaking big, and I feel all dainty and girly next to him.
“You have small fingers,” he tells me, and it sounds like an admonition. “And small hands. Too small for my blades.”
“Are there extras somewhere I can borrow?” Part of me wants to pull my hand back out of his grip, and the other part of me wants him to stroke his thumb down the length of my upturned palm. Or kiss it. Yeah, kissing would work.
Oh, god, now I’m having weird sex fantasies about the guy that kidnapped my sister.
I snatch my hand out of his and he looks surprised, then seems to shrug it off. “The storage cave.”
I think of the layout of the tribal cave. There’s a room or two in the back of the ‘new’ wing—the area with all the rough-cut rock—where a lot of extra furs and bones and things are kept. “I think I know where that is. I’ll look.”
“We will meet there in the morning,” he corrects me. “I will pick out the appropriate weapons for your hand size and we will train on those.”
I want to object to his chauvinistic ‘I will pick for the lil’ lady’ attitude, but I actually don’t know if my hand size is going to affect things after all. Maybe I’m just being defensive. I look at the big knives strapped to his belt and try to imagine them in my hands. Okay, yeah, he might be on to something. “We can go back there now—”
“No. For now, I am going to take you home.”
Arrogant jerk. “Why?”
“Because there are metlaks in this area and it is not safe for you.” He puts a hand on my shoulder and slowly turns me back toward the direction I came. “So I am going to guide you home and then I am going to go and find Taushen and make sure that he made it back to the cave, too.”
Taushen? Huh? “Okayyyy. What time are we meeting in the morning, then? Because I have to warn you, my schedule’s pretty full,” I say flippantly.
“Schedule?” The way he says the word is funny, all drawn out and strange. “What is this?”
“It’s a joke,” I reply dryly. “Never mind.”
I fart around in the tribal cave for the rest of the day. Really, there’s nothing for me to do and everyone else seems so preoccupied that I feel awkward asking if anyone needs help. And really, there’s not much I can do to help with a lot of stuff. I don’t know anything about babies, or skinning, or fletching arrows, weaving, or any of that stuff, so I mostly end up sitting around the fire looking bored. Normally there are a few people sitting around shooting the shit, but today the cave feels incredibly empty. There are a few elders sitting around, and I can hear a baby crying in the distance. The fire keeps burning down to ashes and so I have to keep stoking it, which is…not something I’m good at. I end up shoving a lot of the big dried dung chips onto the fire and hoping for the best.
-->