by Ruby Dixon
Which means that I’ve got a huge blaze going by the time someone drops by.
“Jeez, cold?” Stacy swings back through with her papoose and gives me a curious look. “Do you need more furs? Because stoking the fire that high won’t do more than just burn a lot of fuel—”
“It was an accident,” I say, feeling defensive. “I didn’t mean to make it so big. It just kept going out.”
“Oh. Well, you have to stack the chips really close together to get it to burn for a long time. That’s why some of them are bundled together.” She bustles over to the fire and uses a couple of the poking sticks to shove all the fuel into a tight, tidy little pile. The flames die a bit and settle back to a less-than-blazing roar.
“Thanks,” I say, and try to sound like I mean it. I hate that everyone’s constantly correcting me on how to do even the most basic of things.
“Of course,” she says, and the expression on her face tells me she is contemplating a strategic retreat from the fire. Damn, am I that unpleasant to be around?
I smile at Stacy, a little desperate for company. I pat one of the nearby stools, encouraging her to stay. “So what are you up to?”
The tension eases from her body and she relaxes. She doesn’t sit in the stool next to me but pulls up one across the fire and produces her frying pan from her satchel. “Josie’s been sick all afternoon, so I thought I’d make her some cakes. They’re easier on the stomach than raw meat. Or cooked meat.”
“Or that peppery dried meat stuff.”
Stacy wrinkles her nose. “Yep. So I thought I’d make cakes.” She pulls out her little pot of grease and rubs down the surface of the skillet, and I watch her. The skillet itself is pretty junky looking—a square with bent-up edges to form a lip, soldered onto a long metal handle with a bone grip. Where they got the solder, I have no idea. Stacy’s the only one with a skillet though, and that kind of makes her the unofficial cook of the group, just like Tiffany’s the unofficial gardener. They both have skills they’re putting to use.
I have nothing practical to offer, which is a real bummer. A bartender on an ice planet is about as useful as a runway model.
Stacy takes a chunk of the fleshy white root, dices it, and then adds a bit more grease and a few other ingredients I don’t recognize before patting it into a cake and then puts it on the skillet over the fire. “How’s your roommate?”
“The same.”
“She like the cake I made for her? Should I make her more?”
I shrug. “I can take her more if you make them, but I don’t know if she’ll eat them.” I don’t point out that she didn’t eat the last one. Someone’s here and actually talking to me, and I don’t want to scare her off. “You seen Farli lately? She usually hangs out with me.” The teenager is my best buddy in the cave, it seems.
“She went with the others for the sa-kohtsk hunt. Pashov went with them. Georgie, too.”
“Are they going to be hunting?” I try to picture the chief’s wife and teenage Farli attacking one of those things.
“Probably just going to help out and get out of the cave for a while before the brutal season hits.”
Right. Because winter is coming, yadda yadda. I’ve been hearing a lot about it for weeks now, but I don’t see how it can get much worse than it already is.
Stacy looks up and smiles at someone behind me. “Hey, Josie. How are you feeling?”
I look up as Josie drops onto the stool next to me. There’s a pale cast to her face, and her hair is limp and sweaty. “Awful. Did I say I wanted morning sickness? Clearly I’m insane.” Her hands go to her stomach. “Please tell me this doesn’t last long.”
“It doesn’t last long,” Stacy parrots.
“Liar.”
“You didn’t ask for the truth,” Stacy retorts. “Here, I’m making you cakes. Maybe you can keep them down.”
Josie puts a finger under her nose as if to block out the smell. “I guess. I wish Haeden was here.” She blinks back huge tears. “I hate that I’ve been sick all day and he’s off hunting. I need him.”
“Oh, honey,” Stacy says, voice soft. “You’re hormonal. He went with Maylak’s hunting party. They’re getting a khui for that cute baby of hers. You know he can’t stay in the cave and stroke your hair all day.”
“Can’t he?” she says wistfully. She looks over at me as if noticing me for the first time. “Did you not go out with the others, Maddie?”
“Didn’t feel like it,” I lie. Obviously Josie has been in her cave enough that she doesn’t know that I wasn’t invited. I’m not going to disabuse her of that notion. “Thought I’d stick around and hang out here.”
“It’s boring without my Haeden,” Josie says, sighing gustily.
Stacy just rolls her eyes.
“Having a hard time staying busy?” I ask. God, I know how that feels.
“Not in the ways I want to be busy,” Josie says with a pout.
“Overshare,” Stacy says, flipping a cake and then sliding it onto one of her plates.
“Oh, come on. I’m pregnant. Sometimes you get an itch and it really, really needs to be scratched. You weren’t horny when you were pregnant, Stace?”
Stacy holds the plate out to Josie. “I’m sure I was, but I’m also pretty sure Maddie doesn’t want to hear about your sex life.”
Josie takes the plate from Stacy and looks over at me. “Sorry.”
“Oh, it’s all right. At least one of us is having sex.” And for some reason, the moment the words come out of my mouth, I think of Hassen.
You wish me to fuck you? I accept.
I suddenly feel very restless. I think of the way his skin felt under my hands, the warmth of his body, how big and strong he was. How good he felt to touch. I shouldn’t be noticing these things about Hassen of all people. And yet. And yet.
I’m attracted to him, and I haven’t been attracted to anyone else on this planet. I couldn’t get past the horns and the fangs and the tails—dear lord, the tails. But with Hassen, I’m not thinking about that. I’m mostly thinking about pectorals. And how velvety soft his skin was.
You wish me to fuck you? I accept.
Is it…wrong to want to tap the ass of a man that kidnapped my sister?
Probably.
Am I thinking about it anyhow?
Oh, yeah.
“I didn’t think I’d be this bad when I was pregnant,” Josie is saying. “Like, I thought once the baby was in, I wouldn’t want Haeden to touch me until it came back out again. But oh, man.” She sighs dramatically and wraps her arms around her torso. “Being pregnant just means I need sex all the damn time.”
“We know,” Stacy says dryly, putting a new cake on the fire. “You’re noisy.”
“Don’t care,” Josie’s voice is cheerful. “It’s just that sometimes you gotta scratch an itch, you know? And lately, man, have I been itching.”
Stacy just laughs, but I say nothing. What Josie is saying is hitting me right in the feels. I’ve been restless and lonely ever since I got here to the ice planet. Is that what I need, too? Someone to scratch my itch? Josie looks so damn content and she’s been barfing all afternoon.
You wish me to fuck you? I accept.
Maybe…maybe I should have taken him up on that. The moment the idea crosses my mind, I don’t hate it. I don’t hate it at all. It can’t be a ‘real’ mating because we’re not resonating. I can’t get pregnant.
There’s no one to judge me, either. The aliens are pretty open-minded about sex. Heck, I’ve seen couples making out in the public bathing pool, leaving little to the imagination, and no one nearby batted an eye. I’ve heard people having sex in their caves at night. It gets someone a little teasing and that’s about it.
And to make it even more convenient?
Everyone’s gone. They’re out hunting or fruit gathering. The cave’s practically empty and will be for probably another week.
This would be the perfect time to get my ‘itch’ scratched.
Plus
, there’s a bonus in that Hassen is exiled. He’s not supposed to be around. If things get awkward, it’s not like I’m going to have to face him constantly. He’s not going to be around the fire at breakfast. He’s not going to be hanging out during the afternoon gatherings. He’s exiled.
The more I think about it, the more I’m intrigued by the idea. I’m not opposed to a one-night stand. I’m sure not opposed to scratching the itch that’s been plaguing me lately. I mean, if I get laid and I relax? That’s a win. There’s zero strings attached.
Of course, I need to find out how he truly feels about my sister before I decide to claim him for my selfish needs. If he’s hung up on Lila, I’m not touching him.
But if he’s not…I cross my legs tightly, squeezing my thighs together. Maybe it’s wrong to focus my attentions on him. He’s probably the wrong guy.
But he’s so right in so many other ways that I can’t help it. I toss around other ideas in my mind. Taushen didn’t go with the others. Warrek didn’t, either. Hemalo. A few of the elders. None of those even come close to making me think about wanting sex. The moment I think of Hassen, though, it’s all that’s on my mind.
I could wait for the other parties to come back from hunting, but…I like the thought of the cave being so empty. It’ll give me the freedom I wouldn’t normally have to.
It’s right now or never. I glance at the entrance to the cave, but it’s empty.
Okay, it’s tomorrow morning or never.
4
HASSEN
I am at the tribal cave early the next morning, ready to start the day’s hunt lessons with Mah-dee. I admit that I am looking forward to this more than I anticipated. While my days are filled with hunting as usual, it is the endless nights around a lonely fire that are starting to wear on me. It is not the same as being out on the trails, knowing that I have a warm fire and friendships to return home to. As an exile, I have nothing and no company to break up the endless days.
I thought it would not bother me, but it does.
Helping Mah-dee learn to hunt will not fix the ache of loneliness, but it is something to do while I check my traps, and she is fierce and interesting to speak with. I do not know if she will be easy to teach, but that is the least of my concerns. I am just eager to have company through the day.
I enter the cave, and it feels strange to have no meat at hand to feed the tribe. I feel like I should not be here, though there is no one to cast a judging stare. One of the humans sits near the main fire, but the rest of the cave is empty; it is too early for most to be awake. I set my spear down near the entrance and head toward the back storage cave.
To my surprise, Mah-dee is already there. Her back is to me, her yellow mane shining and cascading over her shoulders. She is not dressed to go outside, though, wearing only a light leather tunic and leggings. “You cannot wear that out,” I say in greeting, moving past her to step into the storage chamber. “You are human. They do not stay warm.”
“I know that,” she says, a hint of irritation in her voice. “You think I haven’t noticed that I’m human?”
“I would think you have.” I look around the cave. There are baskets of furs, bones, horns, seeds, and anything else the tribe might need. I do not see more arrows, though, or slings. There are a few spears resting on one wall, but I can tell at a glance that they are too large for someone with small hands like Mah-dee. “What have you found?”
“I haven’t been looking,” she says, and sidles up to me. “I have a question for you, instead.”
I frown as I look over at her. A question? “What is it?”
The look on her face is wary, her hands clasped behind her back. “My sister is mated to your friend, Rokan. How does that make you feel?”
I narrow my eyes at her and then move to pick up the smallest spear in the supplies. It is light and fragile, and yet I still suspect it will be too heavy for Mah-dee. “Why does it matter?”
“Let’s just say it matters to me, all right?”
“Because we cannot be friends if I hold feelings for your sister? Is this why you ask?” I am not a fool.
She shrugs.
I pick up the spear, testing its heft. Light, but balanced. I hold it out to her. “Try this.”
Mah-dee takes it from me and then gives me another pointed stare. “Well?”
I sigh, because I know she will not give up on this. More, it is a topic I am not keen to discuss. Just thinking about it feels as if I have to peel back a layer of skin and expose myself. “I…it is complicated.”
“I’ve got time to listen.”
I grunt and watch as she grips the spear. Her hands are small along the much thicker shaft. Perhaps spears are a bad idea and I should make her more arrows. Yet she was not skilled with the bow. “I am glad for Li-lah and Rokan.”
“You are?”
I nod. “Rokan is a good hunter. He deserves a mate. He is happy with her. Thus, I am glad for them.”
“That’s a total cop-out of an answer.” She pokes at me with the spear, stepping closer. “How do you really feel? You kidnapped my sister because you wanted her to be your bride. Don’t tell me you don’t feel anything.”
“Oh, I feel things.” I feel a great many things.
“Well?” She jabs me again, the spearhead dragging against my arm and leaving a scratch.
I grab at it and glare at her. “You wish to know how I feel? I am angry.”
Her eyes go wide. “Go on.”
“I am angry that I am a strong, capable male and yet my khui is silent. I am ashamed that I broke the rules of my tribe and stole a female that hated me and did nothing but cry every time I looked at her. I am sad that I am no longer welcome. I am disappointed that I risked all and gained nothing. And yet…I am happy for Rokan. And I am…” I let the words trail off, because I remember that Mah-dee is Li-lah’s sister.
“You are what?” she prompts. “Spit it out.”
“I am…glad that Li-lah is not my female.” The words taste like grit in my mouth, but even as I say them, they are curiously freeing. “She and I…we were not a good match. I thought perhaps I would get used to her, that we would grow into each other, but…we did not, and I am glad for it. And then I am even more angry that I broke the rules of the tribe for her.” I flick the spearhead away from my skin. “Does that satisfy you?”
For some reason, Mah-dee smiles brilliantly. “Actually, yes.”
I grunt. There is no understanding females sometimes. “Then I am glad my pain pleases you.”
“It’s not that I want you to be in pain,” she says, and puts the spear aside. “It’s just…well.” She considers me. “It makes things easier on my end.”
I frown in her direction and turn back to the spears, searching for an even lighter weapon. Perhaps the one I handed her does not feel right and she needs a different one. “Easier for what?”
Her hand goes to my arm. “For me to do something for myself.”
Mah-dee is not making sense. I glance over at her. “Eh?”
She stretches and grabs my vest, tugging me forward. There’s a naughty smile on her face and a gleam in her eyes that makes my cock respond. I stiffen, because her touch should not be arousing. I am here to teach her, no more. When I pull back, Mah-dee pouts, her full lower lip thrusting out in a way that fascinates me. “Why are you leaning away?”
“I am trying to understand what you are doing.”
She gives a little shrug and stands up on her toes, trying to move closer. “Maybe I want to kiss you.”
“Eh? Why?” I am not entirely certain I have heard her correctly.
She licks her lips and I am suddenly fascinated by the way they gleam, shiny and pink. “Because I thought we might fool around a little.”
“Fool around?” I do not understand these words together.
Mah-dee sighs. “I guess I need to show you.” Her hand slides down my front, caressing my chest, and I freeze in place. Her fingertips trailing down my chest ridges and then ticklin
g over my navel feel…incredible. My cock aches, hardening immediately. I remain still as her hand skims down even further.
Then she cups my cock in her hand and looks up at me.
“Wanna fool around?” Her voice is a husky whisper.
My mouth is dry. The blood pounds in my ears and I can think of nothing except the small hand caressing my shaft. “You…you said you did not wish to fuck.”
“Changed my mind,” she says in that sultry voice. “We can play around with each other just for fun, you know? Let off some steam. No one’s here to notice.” Her fingers move up and down over the hard ridge of my cock in my loincloth.
She wishes to become pleasure-mates? I am shocked. I thought she hated me. Is this why she asked about her sister? I gaze down at her upturned face, wondering if she is playing a prank on me. But there’s interest and arousal shining in her eyes, and her gaze flicks to my mouth. Her lips part.
“Why?” I ask again, but my voice is a low growl as I am unable to hide my interest. Not that I can hide it anyhow - her hand is all over my cock. She knows just how interested I am.
“I’m bored,” Mah-dee says, her lips curling in a smile as she strokes me again. “And jittery. I thought this might take the edge off. Haven’t you ever had sex just to, you know, scratch an itch?”
I shake my head slowly. “I have never mated with a female.”
“Then a male?”
I frown. “With no one.”
“Oh my. You’re a virgin?” Her eyes widen and her smile gets bigger. “This is going to be fun, then. We’ll have to test your stamina.” Her hand slides lower, cups my balls, and she gives them a squeeze through the leather.