“You’re not making sense. I can’t think of a single thing that I need that you wouldn’t be able to give me.” His brow furrowed and his hand on mine tightened as I saw realization hit his eyes. “Unless…honey, did he damage you in some permanent way? Is this all because you can’t have children? Because if that’s it, it’s okay. I want you and if we’re not meant to have children together, I can live with that.”
God, he was such a sweet liar. Although he had completely misinterpreted what I was trying to tell him, my heart swelled with even more love for him. Having children someday was his biggest dream. He talked about it a lot and looked forward to being a father more than any other man I had ever known.
And I realized then that this situation could have been so much worse than it actually was. If his feelings for me were so strong that he would be willing to give up his dreams of fatherhood to be with me, then I had renewed hope that the sexual situation, which I finally saw for the small thing it was, could be worked out.
I raised a hand to his cheek and smiled softly. “No, Jack, it’s not that at all. Any physical damage he caused was temporary. There’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to have children. But I love that you would even say you could live without it when I know better.”
I watched the relief flash across his face. “Then what is it? I promise you I will do everything I can to help you with whatever it is you’re afraid of.”
I squeezed his hand and went for the crux of the matter. “Don’t you see? I cannot be restrained in any way. That powerless feeling freaks me right out. And eventually, you’d be unhappy when you found yourself locked into a relationship with someone who could never be a submissive.”
Jack gasped and his eyes widened in horror. Releasing my hand, he rubbed both hands over his face, and muttered, “Oh, God.” He looked back up at me and asked, “That’s what all of this has been about?”
I nodded, confused by his response.
“Jesus, I am such an asshole.”
“Jack? What are you talking about?”
“Shit.” He took both of my hands in his and clasped them tightly. “Now I have a secret to confess. And when I tell you, I want you to remember that you love me and the ability to forgive is a virtue.”
I eyed him suspiciously. “What did you do that I would need to forgive?”
He looked at me with his face all screwed up into a flinch, as if he was expecting to be punched. “I made it all up.”
“You made what up?” My eyes had narrowed so much they were almost closed.
“That domination and submission thing. I’m not into that at all. I got the idea from your books and I was just messing with you.”
My mouth dropped open and I honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Or punch him. “Are you telling me that we went through all of this emotional crap because one day you just decided you felt like messing with me?”
“Yes, and you have no idea how sorry I am about that.” He was talking fast now and held my hands a little tighter. “I didn’t know what you had been through, or I would have never done it. So, please, tell me you forgive me.”
“My God,” I said viciously, yanking my hands from his. “You really are an asshole.”
His face fell. “Angie - ” he began, but I cut him off by launching myself into his arms.
“But you’re my asshole,” I whispered into his ear.
And then we were both laughing in our relief, our arms tight around each other as he rolled me across the bed until I ended up on top of him. I sat up and straddled his waist and his hands came up to grasp my hips.
“You’re not mad?” he asked hopefully.
“Honestly, Jack, I’m just so relieved I can’t even be bothered to be mad. But you do deserve this.” And I punched his upper arm. Hard.
“Ow.” He released one hip and rubbed his arm. “You’re a mean little thing.”
“Yeah. And don’t forget it.” He smiled and I touched his naked chest for the first time ever, running my hand softly through the light hair that covered it. “I love you so much, Jack.”
“I love you, too, baby,” he said, returning both hands to my hips and giving them a squeeze.
“There’s just one more thing,” I said, circling my index finger slowly around his nipple.
He shivered slightly at the contact. “And what’s that?”
“Did you mean it when you said if there was anything I needed you would give it to me?”
“Absolutely. Name it.”
“Well, there’s only one thing I can think of that I really need.” I grabbed the bottom of my shirt, pulled it off over my head, and tossed it behind me.
He drew in a deep breath and his nostrils flared a little as he stared at the new lacy, pink bra. The look on his face made every dime I had spent on the darn thing worth it. His eyes moved up to meet mine and a wicked grin spread across his face. I grinned back and he curled up, bringing himself to a sitting position, his face inches from mine. “I thought you’d never ask,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around my back and pulling me in tight.
And then he was kissing me. And this time when he kissed me, I felt it. I felt it in my head, where my brain was screaming “Yes! Yes! Yes!” I felt it in my heart, where the long-anticipated thunderbolt was finally striking; I felt it travelling across my tingling skin; and I felt it strongly at my core - a deep need, burning and building.
I might have thought making this transition in our relationship would be strange or awkward, but there was none of that as we took our time exploring each other’s bodies, testing responses with hands and lips and tongues until there was very little left that remained a mystery between us.
And when his body finally joined with mine, the fit so perfect, I knew I was exactly where I was always meant to be. A heady feeling of combined love and joy overwhelmed me - a feeling unlike anything I had ever felt before. It was a feeling of absolute rightness, a strong emotional bond merging with the physical to make it complete.
“Do you feel that?” he whispered, his darkened gaze burning into mine.
“Yes,” I said on a shudder.
“Not this.” He pushed in and swirled. “This.” He placed his hand over my heart.
“Yes, I feel it.” I put my hand over his and squeezed.
“God, I love you,” he whispered with more passion than I had ever heard him say anything. And then he was kissing me again as he slid his hands up my arms, bringing them to the sides of my head until our fingers connected and locked. I held on like I’d never let him go and tightened my calves across the back of his thighs.
Our bodies moved together in sync, as if we had done this thousands of times before, adjusting the pace and intensity from slow glide to fast pounding and back again until my body arched, my muscles all clenched around him and we slid together into the first simultaneous orgasm I had ever experienced.
We lay quietly in the dark for a few minutes while our breathing settled, and the hard, heavy warmth of his body on mine felt so perfect, I didn’t care if we never moved again.
“I just don’t have words,” he said quietly into my neck.
“Well, that’s a first.” I smiled against his ear, untangled my fingers from his and wrapped my arms around him.
“That’s a lot of firsts.” He raised his head slightly and pressed a kiss to my jaw.
“Yes.” I moved a hand to the back of his head, running my fingers through his hair and kissed his temple. I felt him slip out of me and whimpered at the loss.
He smiled against my neck, then cleared his throat. “Speaking of firsts, I didn’t use a condom, honey. I’m sorry.”
“I noticed,” I said.
He pushed himself up on his forearms and looked down at me. “Have you always used one in the past?”
“Always.”
“Me, too. And frankly, it’s been awhile. I don’t even think I’ve been with anyone since the last time I was tested.”
This surprised me. It wasn’t somethi
ng we ever discussed in great detail, but I always assumed Jack had a fairly active sex life. “Really? That surprises me.”
“It shouldn’t surprise you.” He smiled a sweet smile and slid his hands into my hair, framing my face. “I was waiting for you.”
My heart sighed as he kissed me softly. “And it was worth the wait,” he added against my lips.
“It was a beautiful thing, wasn’t it?” I wrapped my arms around him again and brought his warmth back down on top of me, trailing my fingernails lightly up and down his back.
“Beautiful would be the smallest word I could think of to describe what that was. I would start by calling it beautifully life-altering.”
“I agree, but I think you’re just trying to one-up my description.” We both laughed and he pushed himself up on his arms again.
“You’re on the pill, right?”
“Don’t you think we should have had this conversation about an hour ago?”
“Probably, but I had other things on my mind. So, are you?”
“No.” I didn’t elaborate further, wanting to see his response.
“Oh,” he said, almost happily. He tilted his head and one eyebrow rose. “Huh.”
I smacked his shoulder lightly. “Huh? Jack Murphy! Are you hoping to get me pregnant?”
He grinned down at me. “Well, I think you know very well it wouldn’t upset me in the least if I did.”
“Yes, I do know it. And I hate to burst your happy little bubble, but I have an IUD. Pregnancy seems very unlikely.”
He pulled his face into an exaggerated pout. “That was just mean.”
We laughed, and when I did I felt his semen leaving my body. “Not using a condom is messy,” I told him with a grimace. I bumped my pelvis up against his and grabbed the sides of his face. “And, just so you know, you’re sleeping on this side of the bed tonight.”
He laughed and kissed me again. “It’s a big bed; we’ll work around it.”
“I need to go and clean up, so I guess you’ll have to get off of me,” I said with a sigh.
“I don’t want to. I don’t ever want you away from me again.” He slid down a little and started licking and nipping across the tops of my breasts. I smiled as I felt some signs of renewed life against my leg.
“You’re very sweet,” I said, pulling his face up from my chest and leaning forward to kiss him again. “But I can feel what’s going on down there by my leg, so unless you want to have your own sloppy seconds, you’ll let me get up.”
He heaved a dramatic sigh. “Oh, all right. But don’t take too long – I have plans for you.”
“Good. I have some plans of my own.”
He lifted his head and raised his eyebrows at my grinning face. “Yeah? Excellent.” He rolled off of me and onto his side. His head was propped on one hand and the other hand landed across my stomach, where he started tracing figure eights against my skin.
“You’re making me not care so much about getting up,” I told him, stretching and yawning.
“Oh no you don’t!” He pulled his hand back and gave me a little shove. “The sooner you go, the sooner you get back. Remember. Plans.”
I laughed and rolled lazily a couple of times until I reached the edge of the bed and then sat up. He rolled, too, and landed propped up on his side right behind me.
“What are you doing?” I asked over my shoulder.
“It’s kind of dark in here. I don’t want to miss an opportunity to watch your ass.”
Smiling, I leaned backwards until our lips connected again. “Pervert.”
“You have no idea. Yet.”
“Oh, promises, promises,” I said lightly and kissed him again, not wanting to leave him, but forcing myself up and out of the bed. Aware of his eyes on me, I added an extra wiggle to my slow stroll for his entertainment.
“God damn! That ass!”
I laughed at him without turning around and went to take care of business. When I returned, he hadn’t moved an inch.
“Didn’t want to miss the front view?” I asked with a smirk.
“Hell, no. And it’s just as good as the back.” He grabbed me as soon as I reached the edge of the bed and pulled me down with him. “Now, about those plans….”
“Oh, no,” I protested, pushing at his shoulders. “If your plans involve any part of your body being in my mouth again, then you’d better go clean up, too.”
He looked at me for a split second, then vaulted off the bed and literally ran for the bathroom. My laughter at his exit had barely died down when he sprinted back into the room and leapt across me on to the bed - making me squeal as I bounced.
He gathered me in firmly so we were lying stretched out, face-to-face, the entire length of our bodies pressed together. “Now, where were we?” He started kissing a trail from the corner of my mouth, along my jaw, to under my ear.
I bent my leg and pushed it in between his thighs as I whispered in his ear. “I think I remember something about perverted plans.”
“Oh, yeah,” he whispered back, tracing my ear with his tongue. “I hope you’re prepared. These plans have been several years in the making.” He caught my earlobe in his teeth and tugged lightly.
“Really? You’ve thought about this before?” A powerful tingling started between my legs at the idea.
He snorted at the question. “Many, many times - and usually with my dick in my hand.”
“That’s hot,” I said as I felt a double clench and release. I twisted my head to meet his lips and our tongues tangled briefly before I pulled away. I moved my hair out of the way and pressed my ear to his mouth. “Tell me more.”
He smiled against my ear and then he did just that. In explicit, graphic detail. His hands idly roamed my body as he whispered his fantasies - using words and expressions that could get him banished from polite society - until I was squirming, panting and squeezing my legs together. He stopped talking and groaned when I scraped his balls lightly with my fingernails. I slid my hand up to where I found him hard enough to cut diamonds, and stroked, whispering, “Don’t stop talking. You’re making me hotter than hell.”
He slid a hand down my ass and between my legs, and I moaned when he pushed a single finger into the wetness there. “You like that,” he said hoarsely, stating the obvious.
“God, yes,” I panted against his mouth. I turned my head to catch his mouth again. “Please don’t stop. I’m right on the edge; finish me off, Jack.”
He was throbbing in my hand and rocking his hips while he complied with my request. He used his fingers in interesting ways as he half-whispered, half-groaned the details of what he planned to do next and it wasn’t long before the orgasm shot through me.
“Oh, God!” I moaned, still trembling from the climax and feeling an escalating level of lust, the magnitude of which I had never felt before. I needed more. I shoved him away from me, onto his back, and attacked him with my mouth. He gathered my hair in his hands and held it out of the way, watching and making some very hot growling noises as my mouth engulfed him and my tongue swirled up and down his length.
He suddenly bucked into my mouth and roughly lifted my head. “Jesus Christ! Enough!” he exclaimed. “Hands and knees. Now!”
I hastily scrambled into position and he was right behind me, following my every move. My ass was barely in the air before he grabbed my hips and shoved urgently inside. We both groaned and I felt an involuntary spasm ripple around him. He was buried to the hilt, his pelvis tight against me, when he stopped moving.
“Do not move,” he ordered, breathing heavily. “Good God, don’t move, or I am never going to last.” His fingers on my hips tightened and when I twisted my neck to look back at him, I saw his head tilted back, eyes squeezed shut, his teeth biting into his bottom lip.
Hearing those words and seeing him in that position behind me, struggling to gain control, set off another spasm within me and I moaned again, dropping my head and shoulders to the bed.
“Ah, shit!” he bit out.
“Shit!” He pulled back slightly then began thrusting, hard and fast. I had never seen him so wild and my level of lust shot through the roof. This time I didn’t even feel the orgasm building – it exploded out of nowhere and I cried out at its intensity. Seconds later, I heard Jack shout and felt him jerking inside of me.
His hands slid slowly up my back, gently pushing me flat onto my stomach before he stretched out against my back. I buried my face in the pillow and when his head came down next to mine, his heavy breathing in my ear mimicked my own.
“Fuck me,” he breathed against the side of my head.
I smiled into the pillow and lifted my head slightly. “I think I just did.”
“Yes, you certainly did.” He laughed as he raised his head, then moved my hair out of the way and kissed the back of my neck. “I’m sorry, baby,” he said, continuing his kisses to my shoulder. “I meant for that to last longer.”
“Seriously?” An apology after what had just happened seemed ludicrous. “You’re apologizing for hot sex?”
“Well, yeah. It might have been a little too hot.”
“I have no complaints.” I lifted my head and found his lips, sliding my tongue between them. We kissed like we were just starting, rather than finishing, and I felt that greedy need building again. I broke the kiss while I still could. “And I’d say you lasted exactly long enough.”
He smiled. “Yeah, maybe. I promise to do better next time.” He felt my shiver at that and laughed.
“I can’t even begin to imagine anything better,” I said. “Thank you.”
“Oh, no,” he said and kissed me again. “Thank you.”
I felt him slip out of me and, like the last time, I whimpered at the loss.
“I love that little noise. It’s cute,” he said.
“I don’t like losing you.” I couldn’t seem to stop kissing him, so I did it again, then pushed him slightly with my ass, indicating I needed to move. He lifted himself up while I shifted onto my back, but stayed on top of me. “It feels right when you’re inside of me.”
“Everything about this feels right,” he said. “And Angie?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re very hot.” He grinned down at me and I laughed.
Isn't It Time Page 24