by Bart Tuma
“Haven’t even been hired and you’re already asking for time off?”
Laura felt her face get red, but she could tell that Ken was only joking. He scanned the rest of her application indicating he didn’t expect an answer.
“I see you’ve worked at the Mint Bar and the Glad Tidings Health Food Store. How much experience have you had with a cash drawer as a bar waitress?”
“I did most of the taking money, mopping the floors, hauling out the trash and when I had time I’d help the cook. It was a job when I needed one, but I can’t say it was one that I enjoyed.”
“I’m a little concerned about you working at the Mint. But I doubt any of your customers came from Fairfield. The ladies of Fairfield would love to gossip if they knew a barmaid was working at WinRight.”
Laura had long ago left behind feeling bad about being a “barmaid” since that had been exactly what she was and she needed to make a living somehow, but she had never stopped to think of how others would perceive her.
“You have register experience but are you used to lines, and carts full to the brim with a farm family week’s supply of groceries?”
“No, the bar was tables not lines, but it got awful busy, and the people at the health food store hardly ever had more than three or four items. But then again, how many people in Fairfield have even that much experience?”
“Good answer, and quick thinking on your feet also. You said you didn’t like the bar job, but you had to have a job. What would make me think that this job won’t be the same and you’ll be down the road in a couple months?”
“I have to admit I don’t know about the future, but I do know if I got a good job and could work in a pleasant environment, I won’t see any reason to leave. I talked to Barbara and she seems awful nice and you seemed very different than my old Mint boss. My first impression is I’d love to work here.” Laura had felt more confident of that fact the more she talked. Now she didn’t know why anyone would hire someone like her: no phone, no ties to the community, and no real experience.
“Let me be upfront with you, Laura,” Ken began. Laura was ready to hear the bad news. “When I need a new employee, you would think it would be easy to find one in a small town with few jobs and a lot of farms not making it. You’d think it would be easy to find help with the wage we pay, but most women are tied to their families and guys don’t want to put on an apron and get stuck inside all day.
“What I need is someone that is reliable and can pick up the job quickly. Mostly I need someone who is personable. The SaveCo store down the street is twice as big as us and they got lots of parking. What we have is people with a smile on their face. People in a place like Fairfield come to buy groceries, but they also come to visit with their friends from around the county that they might not see except for their trip to WinRight. The same it true for them seeing a smiling, friendly face at the checkout stand. Some of the checkers are pretty new; some have been here for over 15 years. They know more about some of their customers than their own families.
“People here will put up with waiting in line for five minutes because a checker is slow, but they won’t put up with a checker that doesn’t care their new cat is sick or their joints hurt and the checker gets a weather forecast passed on that pain. That means something to most customers and it’s the thing we rely on at my store.
“Do you think that you could handle a job like that?”
“I think I’d love a job like that.”
“Well we’ll soon find out. If you want the job, you start Monday. You were honest about your other jobs and honesty goes a long way with me. You can teach someone to work a register, but you can’t teach honesty. I still have to call your references, but if they check out, you’ve got a job. When you get your phone, give me a call. I’ll put you on the schedule for next week. One suggestion, the phone company isn’t that busy, they just like to act like it. Bug them a little bit and they’ll be out quicker.”
Laura checked her excitement as she waved goodbye to Barbara who now was busy with a line of customers. The only thing she had to worry about was Ken checking her references. She could image that creep at the Mint giving her one last slap. Also she had wanted to leave Billings behind forever, and now her old friends would know her new location. But that was a risk she had to take. The WinRight just felt good. The whole move to Fairfield had seemed to come together in an almost miraculous way.
Not yet. Don’t get too excited yet. Too much has happened to get too excited yet. The memories of last night still lingered in her thoughts.
Her thoughts had hardly passed through her mind when she turned the key to her pickup and there was no response. Dead battery. Serves me right for thinking that everything was going to be okay. Nothing that easy for me.
To her horror, Ken walked out as soon as she opened her hood.
“Well, I guess I don’t have to worry about you going down the road for a better job.”
Laura started to think about excuses, but Ken already had a pair of jumper cables in his hand.
“You aren’t the first person this has happened to. They’re a lot of “mature” cars in this county. I wind up starting three, four cars a week. Maybe I should use knowing how to use jumper cables as part of the interview. Do you know how to use these?”
“No”
“Well, I’ll add that to the list of first day ‘to do’s’”
“My first day. I’ve got the job?”
“I just finished calling your references. Make sure you have clothes ready for work,” Ken said with a smile.
Laura forgot to say thanks as her pickup started and left the lot, but somehow she didn’t think it would matter.
Chapter Sixteen
Ken at WinRight was right. She gave the phone company another call and had a phone installed by Thursday. Ken scheduled Laura to begin her training on Friday and Saturday, take Sunday off and begin her regular shift on Monday.
Laura would train with Evelyn, the oldest and most experienced checker and who had seen everything from robbery to drunken cowboys to the rare local who thought they needed to be catered to. For the first hour Laura felt as the schoolgirl being lectured by the school matriarch. She dreaded facing two days of this. Then Barbara intervened.
“Evelyn, don’t bore this girl to death with all your old stories and bad manners. We want her to stay around for a second year let alone a second day. Evelyn is from the old school, as in counting with her fingers and toes.”
“Barbara, at least I can count. You’re just jealous ‘cause customers come to my register rather than yours. Laura here is sharp enough, she could probably take over your register and do twice your job”
“Now, Laura, before you believe her lies, know one thing, we all love each other,” Barbara gave Evelyn a big hug.
“You can always tell when Barb’s lost a fight, she’ll come up and give you a big hug.”
Evelyn’s eyes sparkled as a mischievous child’s. And the day went on.
There were customers who laughed at bad jokes, and customers who looked like they had never smiled.There was a small leak from the produce sprinkler that Barbara said had been there for years, and there were young stock boys who were absent when work needed to be done.
In other words, life was normal at the WinRight, and Laura felt stronger with every normal act. Here she didn’t need to make excuses for the job. Here she didn’t have to firmly discourage men from following her home.
Here the nightmares of the past faded and once again Laura could feel the hand of God’s soft touch.
Evelyn and Barbara and Ann, the woman working the registers next to her, were as gracious as Gracie, and they were all quick to playfully joke with one another. Soon Laura found herself included.
“Laura, you better watch Matt, that stock boy who helps bag after school. He’s been staring at you since the first time he saw you. He hasn’t seen any one as pretty as you since the last movie he watched. Now, granted he’s only a freshman in hig
h school, but if you’re willing to wait for eight years, he’ll be a heck of a catch,” and all the other checkers laughed as Matt was an awkward boy whose voice squeaked.
“Yeah, and in eight years I’ll be old and grey and no one will want anything to do with me.” Laura replied to deflect the compliment.
“Girl, you’re so pretty you’ll have men staring at you when you’re 80 let alone eight years from now when you’re, what, eighteen?” Evelyn showed in the wrinkles on her face the tough years of the plains in her advanced years, but she still carried a constant smile.
It had been a long time since Laura had felt beautiful. In those few days she began to feel it again. Things felt like they did before, and the nightmare of events didn’t follow her like a shadow.
It was good, and at that point in her life, good was a giant step forward.
It was important for Laura to work that two days for the money. She would get a check, a small check, the next pay two weeks later, she would have enough money to get a few essential; Top Noodle soap, some panty hose that were required at WinRight and not at the Mint, and an extra white shirt. She could even splurge on some chocolate ice cream bars she would carefully ration for moments of pleasure.
And in all this she saw the soft hand of God.
***
She woke up earlier than she wanted on Sunday morning. She had already made the transition from graveyard to day shift, which was good unless she wanted to sleep in on her day off. She found herself making coffee at 7:30 that morning, unable to go back to sleep and with no plans for the day. She remember after her shower that she hadn’t cleaned the cotton dress she wore to the interview. The only other dress she had was her barmaid dress from the Mint. She ran some water on the cotton dress to get it clean. It didn’t work. Her only choice was the Mint Bar dress. She changed from jeans to dress to dress from jeans for thirty minutes. Finally she pulled on the Mint dress for good.
Well, am I going to go to church, or just sit around here all day? I could go and sit in the back unnoticed and just see how it feels. It’s been a long time.
She never answered the question, but she finally chose the dress and started to curl her hair. Erik had talked to her about a church, so it would be easy to find.
The service started at 9:30 so she pulled into the gravel parking lot exactly at 9:30. Laura waited for several minutes until she saw the greeters leave the open front doors. She had been around churches enough to know the routine. If she had walked in earlier the greeters would have recognized her as a guest, and given her guest status. She wanted to be a face and that was all.
About fifty cars were parked in the lot; a small church, but still large enough for her to remain anonymous if she worked things right. She noticed the neatly groomed flowerbeds and a handmade wreath made from wheat on the front door.
The front doors had remained open to allow any breeze to make its way to the congregation, and Laura could hear singing long before she entered. Once in the main doors there was a short hallway to the left and she could see several people in the very back clapping their hands in worship as the first song started and all eyes shifted to the front. As she walking into the sanctuary, a greeter waiting for those latecomers handed her a bulletin with a softly whispered, “Welcome.”
She quietly took a chair on the right aisle behind the last filled row. The sanctuary had no pews but folding chairs set in a half circle. It was so unlike the church in Billings she felt good at her first glance of it.
A curtained raised stage filled the front, but the organist and one guitarist didn’t use the stage. A simple wooden podium acted as the pulpit. The most prominent feature of the church was a finely carved wooden banner shaped as a scroll that declared, “Jesus Christ, the same Yesterday, Today, and Forever.” Other than that, the interior was as simple as the exterior.
Laura wasn’t surprised to see Barbara from WinRight standing next to her husband and two sons. Barbara had mentioned the need to be off on Sunday so she could attend church. Laura would change the subject every time it came up.
Her thoughts went to Gracie, and she mouthed a short prayer. Laura was so tired she found it hard to focus on the service.
She thought of the WinRight and how fortunate she felt to happen on to such a good job with such good people.
“Please be seated and prepared for the offering,” the worship leader directed. She was caught in mid-thought and left standing by herself. Fortunately, no one noticed her back row presence. The announcements started with the news of a Labor Day All-Church picnic.
The pastor wasn’t the one leading the worship nor had he been standing in front. He had been sitting with his family with the rest of the congregation so Laura hadn’t noticed him. Except for the sports jacket he looked like many of the men in Fairfield; mid-40’s, shoulders slumping with too many hours of work, hair cut short but neatly combed
The microphone squealed as the pastor attached it to his lapel. The pastor didn’t wear a tie in the summer heat, and with sweat on his brow, Laura wished he would lose the brown blazer as well. A microphone didn’t seem necessary in that small of a room, but his soft voice made it a requirement.
Now as he rose and took his position and began his sermon, Laura felt as if she was sitting in a living room with a pastor casually chit-chatting. His tone was so soft she had problems staying awake as the usual announcements were made and her head began to drop then jerk up. At one point she was starting to realize what the pastor was talking about. Laura sat straight up with her hands on her barmaid dress.
“Today, I would like to talk about God’s holiness. Holiness means purity, but purity needs to be viewed in its full context.
“Many times we think of holiness as not drinking or smoking or cursing, all those things that are observed by us. We see holiness as a state of ‘not doing’ but holiness is really a state of ‘doing’. Holiness is doing the right thing. The right thing goes well beyond the laws of the Old Testament. The right thing is to love your neighbor and yourself. The right thing is to trust in His love, and His peace and His forgiveness. God is holy because these things are a part of His very nature.
“God is holy because there is no variance in His life or nature. He doesn’t love us one day and then disown us the next. He doesn’t provide forgiveness one day and take it away the next. He never changes and His view of us never changes. There are no shadows of grey in His life. He is Light and there is no darkness. He is consistent.
“If you could see a perfectly pure white cloth with no marks or stains that covered as far as you could see, you would see the consistency of that pure white. That would represent the consistency of God’s actions toward you. If there were any flaw in that white sheet it would be obvious since it would be so unlike the pure white. If you could see God’s nature you would see the obvious pureness that carries no flaws, His pureness, and His holiness would be obvious because there is no inconsistency in the fiber of His being. Every thought and every action He has for you is consistently out of Love and Mercy.
“Then we look at our own lives. We aren’t always loving and patient. We see our flaws and wonder how someone so flawed could be with Him who is so perfect.”
Laura shifted in her seat wondering how she could have picked such a Sunday with such a topic to come to church. Her thoughts took her away from the pastor’s words.
“We can easily come to the conclusion that He doesn’t want anything to do with our stained lives. And what is His response to our flaws? He doesn’t change. He still loves. He still is patient with us. He still desires our presence. As long as we don’t walk away from Him, He won’t walk away from us, and He sent His son who died for us so that our stains are washed away.
“When God looks at you all He sees is the love He has for you, and the desire to be your Father.
“By nature we have flaws and we do sin. We haven’t arrived yet. In the midst of our inconsistency we must remember His consistency.
“Just imagine if ever
y room and every square foot of your house was covered by a perfectly white carpet. You have just come home from the county fair and you forget to take off your shoes. Even if you had taken off your shoes, you feet would still be soiled with the dust and sweat of the day. Just imagine what would happen when you stepped on that perfectly white carpet. That carpet would no longer be perfectly white. It would carry the marks of your day at the fair.
“You could try as hard as possible to keep that carpet white, but as hard as you tried the soil of the day would dirty that rug. The carpet would no longer be pure white.
“Now I can see all the wives shuddering at the thoughts of a white carpet and what it would take to keep it white. You wives know it isn’t possible for you to keep that carpet perfectly white. Sooner or later some accident of some idiot, excuse me men, would bring a stain to that rug, and wives you could spend your whole day trying to keep it pure and white. It still would drive you crazy after a while.
“The stain of sin will and has touched all of our lives. We need to know that is our nature, but it is the nature of our Saviour to love us and by His blood to wash the stains away. We need to know the consistency of God’s holiness and Christ’s sacrifice to consistently wash that sin pure white. We can’t do it. His pure love for us, and forgiveness of us, and hope for us can.”
At that point Laura’s attention was drawn from the church to her memory of the room where she had lost her child. That room in her mind was now covered with a white carpet but it was covered red with the child’s innocent blood. She looked down in disgust and could only see the dress that reminded her she was just a common barmaid. She still heard the pastor talking, but only a phrase here and there that she never fully understood.
His words continued, but unheard by Laura: “The Word states in Romans 10:19-23