TouchStone for ever (The Story of Us Trilogy)

by Sydney Jamesson

  I find a resting place on the edge of the bed. “You weren’t doing it intentionally. It’s just your way.” I look down and play with my rings. “When I met Ayden five weeks ago, almost to the day, my life changed forever. Somewhere out there in your universe, two worlds collided; it was a fateful connection, written in the stars as we say …” I stifle laughter.

  “From the moment he touched my hand and I looked into his eyes, I saw forever. I knew and so did he. He’d kept the childhood memory of me alive, nurtured it. But I’d banished it into the realms of my subconscious. He was my wish come true.”

  He draws up the chair and crosses his right leg over his left knee, rests his chin on his right hand and invites me to continue with no more than a smile.

  “You see, I’d been hiding myself away. Like you I thought I didn’t need love; I kept busy with my job and night classes and my music. I thought I was happy but, truth be told, I wasn’t. I was simply biding my time; waiting to be found – by Ayden.” I settle my eyes on my wedding ring. “Read my mind.” I close my eyes …

  I take Patrick’s arm and walk toward Ayden, standing expectant and stunningly handsome. I see the love in his eyes, I hear his words, I feel the pink ribbon in my hand, and I am transported back to my childhood …

  When I turn to face him it’s through eyes that are swimming in tears. “So you see, the love I have for my husband cannot be feigned or given easily, not even to you; we’re soul mates - and that’s the one piece of him you cannot conjure up or command, only possess.”

  “So you cannot love me,” he asks mournfully.

  I shake my head. “I’m saying that I want you to understand how difficult it is for me to exist between a rock and a hard place. I want to give myself to you in the hope you’ll show mercy and return Ayden to me. I’ve seen what you can do. You healed us both with no more than a click of your fingers. And yet … it’s like committing adultery.” I stretch out my left hand, allowing my engagement ring to catch the light. The heart of stone is a constant reminder of the love I’ve had and lost. “You have no concept of it, but I belong to Ayden – I always have and always will. He carried me out of the shadows and showed me what life could be like; he kissed me, woke me from a great sleep, and allowed me to live again. That’s miraculous, in itself. As Ms. Bronte would say, “’He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.’”

  He smiles and contemplates the literary allusion.

  “So … what I’m saying is I need time; time to grieve the loss of our baby, and the loss of the only man I have ever loved. Your party tricks are wondrous, but can never compare to that.”

  He bows his head. “Yes, I see that now. Thank you for explaining it so eloquently.” He’s rubbing his chin the way Ayden does when he’s thinking. “Will you allow me to read Ayden’s thoughts? To see how he wooed you?”

  The turn of phrase makes me smile. “Wooed me?” My mouth twitches at the thought. “Oh, I think he did more than that. He seduced the hell out of me.” My declaration makes me laugh. “Alright.”

  He’s smiling pensively. “I like to see you laughing.”

  “Well, keep talking like that and you’ll see me laughing a whole lot more.”

  “Then I shall.” His smile dissolves. In its place is a thoughtful frown. We sit in silence, waiting to be united once again through shared memories. I roll my rings around on my slender finger unaware of the change befalling him.

  I glance up, witnessing the transformation. Gone is that self-serving arrogance I’ve come to expect; in its place I see a mixture of humility and uncertainty.

  “Are you alright? What did you see?”

  He clears his throat. “Unadulterated love in its purest form.”

  His announcement pierces my heart like a shard of broken glass. I conceal a quivering mouth behind my hand. “So now you know?”

  “I do.” He stands and approaches me.

  Unsure of his intentions I lean back, fearful and apprehensive.

  He reaches out. “Give me your hand.”

  My palm in moist but he takes it anyway. “What are you doing?”

  “Offering you a lifeline, Beth.”

  I take hold of his hand and stand before him, my tear-stained face inches away from his. “I belong to Ayden.”

  “This is true,” he says calculatedly, knowing exactly what he’s doing.

  I gasp. “Don’t! Don’t take the words from his mouth too. You have his body and his memories. Leave him something.”

  He raises his chin, seemingly fighting his life-long habit of taking without regard for the feelings of others. “Very well. I will lay him to rest and we shall continue with our adventure, both better informed as to how we can move forward.”

  I stand on my tiptoes and kiss his left cheek. “Thank you.”

  “You may be thanking me prematurely, Beth.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you should prepared yourself to be wooed, darling.”

  I smile weakly. “Ayden wouldn’t call me that.”

  He kisses my right cheek. “Then that’s precisely why I shall. Now go and tidy yourself up. Your friend is parking her car outside.”

  I roll my eyes and head for the door. “I’ll see you in the lounge. Will you make sure there is white wine in the fridge?”

  “Any particular vintage?” he asks for his own amusement.

  “No,” I call out, entering the lift. “Ayden’s made the choice for us both; you don’t need to go pilfering his memory anymore tonight.”

  With some serious decisions made and our differences reconciled, I feel a little more settled. He won’t pressure me to perform or drag me to his bed. All I must learn to do is pretend everything is as it was, but doing that with Charlie around won’t be easy.

  Ayden stretches out his arm and ushers Charlie out of the lift. She steps out in a flurry of cheerful laughter, stripping off her winter coat, causing me to wonder what he’s said in response to her thoughts.

  She sprints over towards me. “Holy fuck! Look at you!”

  I hold out my hands and glance down at my black skirt and crisp white blouse.

  “You look amazing. What did they give you at that friggin’ hospital, and where can I get some?” Her arms tighten around me in a fierce bear hug. “I thought you’d still be in bed resting, and here you are.”

  “I feel fine Char, just glad to be home. Come and sit down, Ayden will gets us a drink.”

  Picking up on my signal, he strolls in the direction of the kitchen. I sit and watch him opening and closing cupboard doors in search of glasses.

  “I couldn’t believe it when they said you’d been discharged. I thought you’d be in there for at least another week,” she says.

  “I wanted to get out and sleep in my own bed, wear my own clothes, you know?”

  “Sure. Well, you look like a new woman, Beth.” She takes my hand and whispers, “How’s Nurse Stone coping?”

  I see his head turn, ears pricking up at the mention of his name. “Nurse Stone is becoming very skilled in the nursing department.” I laugh at the thought.

  He turns and shakes his head at the likelihood of that ever being the case, making me laugh even more.

  “Did you hear that, Ayden? You might be in line for a first-class reference if you can keep it up.”

  Realising Charlie’s comment is laced with sexual innuendo, he replies, “Rest assured, I will not have a problem keeping it up, Charlie.” He hands us a glass of wine and winks at me, leading me to believe, momentarily, I have my husband back.

  With total confidence, he states, “I make it my mission in life to exercise good practice in all areas.” He positions himself next to me on the right and takes hold of my free hand. As I listen to Charlie relaying her news, I feel his fingers sliding between mine; he’s gently caressing my hand with his thumb as Ayden would. My need for close contact with him ignites, making it impossible for me to pull my hand away. This less than innocent gesture has
gone unnoticed by Charlie, but not by me.

  “So how long are you staying in Brussels for?” I ask, excitedly.

  “Four days. Why don’t you come along? It’ll be a break for you.” She taps my glass with hers.

  You can’t go …

  Hearing Ayden’s voice I turn to him sharply only to be met with a carefree smile.

  “Have you been to Brussels before, Charlie,” he asks, not saying a word to me.

  I continue to stare at him.

  It’s rude to stare …

  I hear his voice but his lips remain fixed in a roguish grin.

  I asked you not to read my thoughts …

  I wasn’t. I’m allowing you to hear mine.

  Discretely, I release my hand from his, marvelling at his capacity to communicate silently. I focus on Charlie. “I think I need to take things easy. Maybe see who’s looking after my classes at school.”

  “What?!” She places down her glass. “Tell me you’re not seriously thinking of going back there!”

  “Well …”

  “Why would you even bother?”

  Ayden senses his cue. “For once we’re in agreement, Charlie. I promised Beth a honeymoon and I have yet to deliver on it.”

  She’s nodding frantically. “See. You could be lying on a beach sipping cocktails. What the hell! Ask me nicely and I’ll come with you.” She laughs out loud, her flaming hair bouncing on her shoulders in an exaggerated display of enthusiasm. “Better still, bring Jake along and we’ll make it a foursome.”

  “You’re shameless, Char,” I declare, giving her hand a squeeze. “I do like the idea of a honeymoon, though.”

  The sofa dips. I feel a warm hand resting on my shoulder, sliding beneath my hairline, fingers caressing, a thumb delicately stroking the skin beneath my right ear in a kind of sensual torture.

  I start to fidget and tip my head into his embrace, trying desperately to quell desire pooling beneath my navel.

  Oh God!

  What can I do? I’m beginning to overheat. I gulp back my wine. “I’ll get you a top-up, Char,” I say, attempting to stand.

  “No need Beth, I have the bottle right here.” Ayden kisses my right cheek and reaches down to the bottle of Chardonnay that magically appears by his feet. “This is turning into quite a celebration.” His seductive smile is a sucker punch, leaving me with no alternative other than to remove his hand and take it in mine. There it rests, encased in two slender hands, fanning out and positioning itself on my knee.

  Better?

  No!

  He exhales loudly seeking attention. “It was going to be a surprise, but never mind. I’ve arranged to take you to Hong Kong and then onto The Great Barrier Reef for our honeymoon. How does that sound?”

  All I can do is stare into his eyes, glowing with delight. “It sounds … spontaneous,” I reply, shaking my head.

  “Not at all. It’s all part of my devious plan to spend time alone with you.” He smiles in such a way I could slap him, but this is him taking charge with captivating charm; more like Ayden than I dare to admit.

  “Wow!” Charlie announces. “That’s what I call a honeymoon.” She turns to Ayden and enquires, “When were you thinking of going?”

  “Tuesday.”

  “Tuesday!” I cry, tightening my grip on his hand. “Why so soon?”

  “Soon? We were married over a week ago, darling. I know you’ve slept through most of it but …” He laughs at his attempt at humour. “But I did promise.”

  I feel his lips against my cheek and his hand ascending northwards on my knee. I offer a retort. “You did and I love you for it, but you have ASMI to think about. What with me being in the hospital, sleeping, you must have so much to catch up with …”

  He’s smiling contentedly. “No, everything’s ticking along nicely. For the next couple of weeks, I’m all yours.”

  Charlie calls out, “Friggin’ hell! Just go pack, Beth! Quick, before he changes his mind.” To the left and right of me, the air fills with excited laughter. “Anyone would think you didn’t want to go.”

  I’m quick to respond. “I do. But I don’t want Ayden to be put under any pressure.”

  He removes his hand from my knee and strokes my hair, gently. “There’s no chance of that, Beth. But thank you for caring.” He pulls me to him and kisses my head, letting his lips linger on my hair.

  Instinctively I rest my hand on his chest, savouring a rich cocktail of cologne in my nostrils and muscles under my palm. All I can do is close my eyes and lean into him, forgetting, for a moment, the who and the why, focusing only on the here and now.

  Charlie throws back the last drop of wine in her glass. “Look, I can see you two have some packing to do and so have I. I’ll leave you to it.” She stands and reaches for her coat.

  “You don’t have to leave, Char, stop and have something to eat with us.”

  “I can’t. I’m meeting a Broker friend for drinks in Knightsbridge in thirty minutes. But thanks for asking. When you get back from your honeymoon we’ll get together.” She eases my disappointment with an affectionate smile.

  I help her put on her coat and step into the lift with her. I sense she is holding back, but whatever it is she wants to say is bubbling behind her smile.

  “Beth, I know you love Ayden and he loves you; I can see that. But remember who you are. Even before he found you, you were beautiful in your own right – you still are.” Her hands take mine. “All I’m saying is be careful you don’t lose sight of who you are and become his creation.” Her words are well-intentioned.

  I pull her close to me. The lie that my life has become is one I dare not share. All I can do is pretend. “Don’t worry, Char, I know what you mean. I’ll be forever Beth and you’ll always be my big sister looking out for me. I know what I’m doing.”

  She sniffs away a tear. “That’s all I need to know as you go gallivanting off around the world with Mr. P.” She slams me against her chest for a farewell hug.

  “A girl’s got to have her honeymoon,” I state gleefully.

  “I hope it never ends for you, Beth. Bye.”

  “Bye, Char. Drive safely.”

  I wave her off and step back to close the door. At that precise moment a van pulls up a couple of yards from me. Out steps a young man with spiky hair and a beaming smile. “Are you Mrs. Stone?” he asks, consulting a piece of paper.

  “Yes,” I answer, a little bemused.

  “Then these are for you.” From the rear of the van he lifts out an enormous bouquet of red roses. “Would you sign here, please?”

  I press down lightly on his clipboard and sign my name, writing the word Stone for the first time, pausing to look at the signature, unconvinced that the name actually belongs to me. The ‘S’ looks back at me like a note off a sheet of music that simply does not resonate.

  I fumble around in the lift, reaching around petals and stems for the number two. When I step from the lift, Ayden is nowhere to be seen. I want to call his name but the ‘A’ is leaving my mouth in an exaggerated stutter. “Ayyy …den.”

  No answer.

  I place the flowers on the kitchen countertop and expectantly make my way to the guest bedroom.

  He’s lying there on the bed, facing away from me, resting. “Did Charlie tire you out?“ I ask, leaning against the doorframe. “The flowers are beautiful, by the way. I haven’t read the card yet, but I assume they’re from you. Thank you.”

  He doesn’t answer.

  I sit on the edge of the bed, trying to make sense of things. I touch his shoulder and he doesn’t move. This can mean only one thing: “he’s” left, and I’m alone with Ayden. Making the most of the moment I scramble around to the other side of the bed. I kneel so we’re face to face. I push back a stray curl from his forehead, caress his cheek with my thumb and relay the events of my day.

  “We made plans today for our honeymoon. You have everything sorted out: Hong Kong, then on to The Great Barrier Reef. I’m really looking forward to it,
Ayden.” I try to smile, but my smile dissolves into a quivering slant. “I miss you so much.” I lean in and place a feather-light kiss on his cheek, but when I pull away his eyes are open causing me to tumble backwards onto the carpet with an almighty jolt.

  “It’s always nice to be missed,” Ayden whispers, mockingly. “Shall we pick up where we left off?” He raises himself off the bed and offers me his hand.

  I take it and regain my balance. “You scared me.”

  “I’m sorry. It was only a brief departure. I’m back now.” Keeping hold of my hand, he leads me back into the lounge. “Your flowers have arrived, I see.”

  “Yes and they’re beautiful. I love red roses.”

  “I’m glad. Would you like to tell me how you’re feeling?”

  “Why bother asking? You can tune into my thoughts anytime, can’t you?”

  “Yes. But I said I wouldn’t.”

  “But you did.”

  “No, I merely spoke to you. I made a point of not listening to your reply, although I think it would have been quite amusing to have done so.”

  I’m not convinced, and merely answer with a carefree shrug.

  “What does that mean? You think I’m lying?” He raises an incredulous brow.

  “I think you say and do whatever you want,” I confess, briskly.

  “If that were the case I would have voiced my thoughts long ago.”

  I fold my arms and wait for his thunderous reply. “And what thoughts might those be?”

  “Thoughts of you, naked and splayed across my bed, waiting, aching for my touch, predominantly.”

  The words explode from his mouth, leaving a crackle of something sexual in the air that ripples over me. I feel my cheeks glowing and turn away. “I see.”

  He cocks his head to one side. “Well, you did ask ...”

  “I did. Thank you for sharing. I feel so much better knowing that.” I reach for the bottle of Chardonnay and slam the fridge door shut.

  “Why are you offended? Doesn’t every woman want to be desired?”

  “Desired?” I huff and walk away. Out of the side of my eye I see him raise his hand and then think better of it.

  “I ask the question again, and for the last time. Why are you offended?” He follows me across the room and stands over me like a handsome shadow.