Michal

by Jill Eileen Smith

  She shook her head, forcing her tears into submission. No! She mustn’t think like this. Adonai would not be pleased if she spoke out in anger again. She bit her tongue, begging God to keep the bitter words from spilling from her mouth.

  Give me a heart of humility, Lord. A heart like David’s.

  David slipped from his mule, and she watched his men follow his example. They formed small groups around the burial cave, effectively blocking her view. There was no way she could force a path through such a crowd unless she made a terrible ruckus. Not a good way to endear herself to David.

  She tugged on the mule’s reins, maneuvering as close as she dared. She pulled to the side of the crowd, craning her neck to see. Several muscular soldiers shoved aside the heavy stone, and the men carrying the bones of her family members stepped closer to the opening of the cave.

  A trumpet sounded with royal fanfare, and flags whipped in the wind.

  David’s voice quieted the crowd. “Men of Israel, today we lay to rest with honor the bones of Saul and his beloved son, Jonathan.” His voice broke with emotion. “Jonathan, my brother, how wonderful your friendship and how great your devotion.” He looked over the crowd, his eyes resting for a moment on hers.

  His gaze moved on, and her heart sank. Jonathan’s devotion was better than hers. Jonathan would have done all in his power to support David, no matter what.

  She listened, eyes riveted on David, as he commended Rizpah for her loyalty to her sons and expressed his sorrow over all their losses. At last, when the words ended and the crowd sang a song of mourning—the song David had written when her father had died—the bones were placed in the tomb, and the tomb was sealed with her father’s royal insignia.

  Michal allowed the wind to shove the veil over her eyes, grateful that it hid her silent tears. She bowed her head, waiting for the crowd to disperse as men and women mounted horses and donkeys to return to Jerusalem and their surrounding villages. David’s entourage took longer to ready themselves, and Michal thanked the Lord for the added time she could mourn in peace. She slipped from her mule’s back and stretched her legs, then walked away from the group to the shelter of a cluster of rocks.

  Michal’s heart ached, but she bowed her head and knelt in the dust anyway, begging God to give her an attitude of thanksgiving. A hand on her shoulder startled her, and she jerked upright.

  “It’s all right, Michal. It’s only me.” David’s voice sent her blood pumping, and heat poured into her face.

  She quickly lowered her head, touching it to the earth. “My lord the king.”

  She felt his fingers touch her head, and she slowly raised her eyes to meet his gaze. What was he doing here? She wasn’t supposed to ever see him again, let alone be close enough to touch the hem of his garment. Could Yahweh have heard her prayers?

  “My lord,” she whispered. She sat back on her heels, certain he could hear the slamming of her heart against her chest.

  He stood gazing down at her, a curious look flitting across his knitted brow. “The daughter of Saul kneeling in the dust is a bit undignified, wouldn’t you say?”

  His barbed words sliced through her heart. How she must have hurt him.

  Oh, Yahweh, forgive me.

  She lowered her eyes, not sure she could withstand his scrutiny. “Forgive me, my lord, I was praying. I did not hear you coming, and . . .” His sudden intake of breath sounded like she’d startled him. She glanced at him. “I was trying to show you the respect you deserve.” Her gaze dropped to her folded hands, and she held her breath, silently begging him to understand.

  He cleared his throat. “You were praying?”

  She stole another glance at him and nodded. If she was ever going to explain herself and speak with him, now was the time.

  “I’ve come to know Him, David. Adonai allowed everything to be stripped from me. Everyone I ever loved, I’ve lost. Even you.” She held his interested gaze. “It finally occurred to me that maybe God was trying to tell me something. I wanted to pray to Him, but I didn’t really know how. I knew you knew Him, but I didn’t. I wanted to ask you”—she averted her eyes—“but I couldn’t. So I just started talking to Him, begging for forgiveness.”

  She looked at David again, and his look stopped her words. His hand extended toward her. She lifted trembling fingers to settle in his palm.

  David’s strong arm pulled her to stand before him, and she instinctively bowed her head, half afraid of what he would say, thrilled with the touch of his fingers wrapped around hers. Silence spanned the distance between them until she felt him tipping her chin to look at him.

  “You could have asked me, Michal. You could have asked me long ago.”

  “I had too much pride then, my lord.” She searched his face, trying to read his thoughts. “I’m sorry.” She looked away. “For everything.”

  He released her hand, and the loss made her heart sink, until she felt him trace the outline of her face and then encircle her waist.

  “Do you remember the night of Merab’s wedding in the garden, when you slipped away alone and we met there?”

  Michal met his tender gaze and smiled. “How could I forget? I dreamed of you for months afterward, scheming to get my father to let me marry you.”

  She watched a reserved smile cross his face. He was holding back from her. She could feel it in his touch and in the way his eyes held hers.

  “Was it a mistake, David? Was our marriage all a horrible mistake?” She couldn’t stop her lower lip from trembling, and she hated her sudden tears.

  His finger covered her lips before he pulled her closer, hugging her against his chest. Her cheek brushed the soft fabric of his royal robe, and she could hear the steady cadence of his heart. “Shhh,” he whispered against her ear. “Don’t say such things, my love. We cannot second-guess what’s past. Nor can we change it.”

  “But I’ve failed you, David, and in the process, I’ve lost something . . . something precious. I never wanted to push you away, and I didn’t mean to let bitterness steal my love.”

  When he didn’t speak, Michal’s heart beat harder, certain she’d said too much. Did he believe her? Was he weighing every word? Or didn’t he care anymore?

  “I forgive you, Michal.” He spoke so softly she almost missed the words.

  She pulled back to look into his eyes, taken aback by the tenderness in his gaze. Had she heard him correctly? Dare she hope?

  “You forgive me?”

  He stroked her cheek. “Yes.”

  The trembling started again, and tears broke through, filming her eyes. “Thank you.”

  He gave her one of his most charming smiles and pulled her against him again. “You’re welcome.” She felt his grip tighten around her, and she leaned against him, sighing, wishing, hoping he would never let go. But would his forgiveness change anything?

  “I’ll inform the guard to allow you free access to the palace again,” he said as though reading her thoughts. Her heart rose, then sank at his next words. “But I can’t promise you much else, Michal.” When he pulled back to look at her again, she felt her blood run hot under his scrutinizing gaze.

  “You understand that I’m still the king with many wives. And you forfeited your position years ago. I cannot restore you to your former place.”

  “In other words, I am married to a king but will never be queen.” She had accepted the death of this dream long ago. Still, to say it aloud made everything so final.

  “The Lord has not desired to bless your father’s house, Michal. Today is witness of this.” He waved one hand toward her grandfather’s burial cave. “He doesn’t seem to have blessed our union either.”

  Must he say such things? True or not, hearing him say it bruised her soul. All she had ever wanted was to be David’s wife and queen and bear his son—a son who would be heir to his throne. She had always thought that the uniting of two families anointed by the Most High would bring prosperity to the nation. But nothing had gone right. And she was getting too
old to bear children anymore.

  “What are you saying, my lord?” She had to know if she would ever see him again. “Are you setting me aside then, for good?”

  The pained expression on his face sent a flicker of hope to her heart.

  Please, Lord, let him give me a second chance.

  “I’m saying I can’t give you what you desire.”

  Her heart nearly stopped, and suddenly the anguish in his eyes made her want to comfort him. “All I desire is your forgiveness, my lord.”

  “You already have it,” he said with an air of impatience. “You know that’s not what I mean.”

  With sudden boldness, she reached one hand to touch the soft waves of his beard. “You mean you cannot give me a son because God has not blessed my father’s house. But shouldn’t you leave that decision up to God? Must we decide for Him?”

  He toyed with a sad smile, and Michal knew she had touched his heart but not his decision. “I’ll think about it.” He kissed her then, a soft, reserved kiss that promised little.

  “Let’s go home, Michal,” he said, cupping her chin in the palm of his hand.

  Michal looked into her husband’s handsome face. She hadn’t felt his intimate touch in years, and when she had, she’d merely tolerated him. But now, when it was almost too late, she thrilled to walk beside him, and her lips still trembled from his kiss. If only she had sought the Lord early in life when she could have blessed David with a heart bound to him in all ways. Her life might have been so different.

  She glanced up as he walked ahead, led her back to her mule, and helped her mount. He kissed her cheek and smiled into her eyes.

  “Thank you, my lord.”

  He nodded and turned away, suddenly surrounded by advisors and friends. Tears filmed again, but she realized these were tears of gratitude, not sorrow. She might never realize the dreams of her youth, but she’d been restored to peace with her husband and, most of all, peace with her God.

  Her gaze moved from David, who was busy with kingly duties, to the cloudy blue heavens. The cool wind brushed the black veil from her face, but it no longer chilled her spirit. Yahweh had offered her stubborn soul forgiveness when she least deserved it. And the peace it had wrought in the process would warm her heart through all the years she had left to live in the king’s palace.

  Acknowledgments

  To list all of the people who have encouraged my writing or helped with this project, which has morphed many times over the years, would be impossible. Some I’ve lost touch with, some have passed on, but some have stayed with me to see this book birthed. To thank them hardly seems like enough, but I hope they will recognize how much gratitude I feel for them—for their encouragement and their prayers.

  To those who have remained, I thank you.

  My acquisitions editor, Lonnie Hull DuPont, first inspired the story and then gave me a chance to share it sixteen years after the initial idea! Wendy Lawton, the best agent ever, believed in me and this story even though she knew it would be a tough sell. Thanks to all the great people at Revell who have read Michal and loved it and made me believe someone besides me would actually want to read it! You’ve all done so much to make it shine. Special thanks to my editor Jessica Miles, who put up with my many questions and whose suggestions were helpful, encouraging, and right on. Thanks to Twila Bennett for working so hard to market the book—the two-page catalog ad is amazing! And to Cheryl Van Andel who designed such a gorgeous cover—thank you!

  My dear friend and critique partner, Jill Stengl, read and critiqued the manuscript twice. Jill Marie, I thank God for you! To my fellow critique partners and author friends—Tamera Alexander, Meredith Efken, Kathleen Fuller, Maureen Lang, and Diana Urban—thank you for your mega encouragement, your critiques, and your prayers. And a special thank-you to author Deborah Raney, mentor, encourager, and friend.

  To my prayer team—Linda LeBlanc, Kathy Kroll, Julie Miller, Joyce Strong, and Dennis and Barbara Smith—for sticking with me year after year. To past prayer team members and friends and family—Scott and Elaine Bills, Kathy Klassen, Susan Conner, Kathleen Rouser, and Judith Peitsch, among others—who have prayed regularly with or without an email update, encouraged my publication pursuit, and fanned my dreams into flame. Thank you!

  To my beloved parents, Leonard and Shirley Smith, who were the first to support my writing dream and have always believed in me.

  To church friends past and present—thank you so much for your prayers and support!

  Finally, to my dear husband, Randy. You are the best husband ever—supportive, encouraging, my strong arm to lean on. Thank you for putting up with twenty years of my writing woes, when there were more lows than highs and more tears than joys. I figured out that you prefer a wife who is sane and writing over one who is crabby and not writing, even if you don’t understand how she can put up with the subjective nature of it all. I will love you forever.

  And my three sons Jeff, Chris, and Ryan—no one has better sons! You have taught me as much as I hope I’ve taught you. Thank you for brainstorming with me; designing my website, business cards, and bookmarks; helping me understand the way guys think; being my moral support; encouraging my dream; and asking my opinion on some of your own writing. You have put up with twenty years of waiting and gave me courage to persevere, letting me cry on your shoulders and rejoicing with me when the dream came true. You all are loved beyond measure.

  Above all, I thank God for His precious gift of salvation, for putting the desire in my heart to write David and Michal’s story, for giving me an insatiable desire to read and to love His Word, and for allowing this dream to come true.

  Note from the Author

  Dear Reader,

  The idea for a story on the life of King David began in 1989 after I completed and taught a Bible study on David’s life. I’d studied the facts, and now I wanted to read a biblical novel that transported me to 1000 BC—that put me there. I searched high and low for a novel on David’s life and found nothing that satisfied. So I began to write the book I longed to read. I had no idea I was stepping into a twenty-year journey before my dream of seeing the book in print would come to fruition.

  In 1991 my first two-volume epic story on David’s life was complete. I knew nothing about publishing except what I found in the Christian Writers’ Market Guide. I sent out twenty-eight queries and garnered interest for the full manuscript with one major publisher, but alas, it was not to be. After exhausting my options, I packed the book into a box, where it remains.

  One of those rejection letters came from editor Lonnie Hull DuPont with Harper & Row in San Francisco. Lonnie wrote me a two-page response suggesting I change the focus of my book to Michal rather than David. At the time, books with female leads sold better. To make a long story short, Harper discontinued their biblical fiction line before I could break in, but the seed for Michal’s story had been planted. Ten years later, I finally wrote the book.

  In 2001 I started querying again, this time with Michal, Daughter of the King. It won fourth place in a writing contest and garnered interest, but no sales. In 2005 literary agent Wendy Lawton fell in love with Michal and soon after signed me on as a client. She told me the book would be a tough sell, but she was committed to trying.

  In August 2007 Wendy met Lonnie Hull DuPont, who was now with Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, at a writers’ conference. Lonnie mentioned she was looking for a work of biblical fiction, and that was all the encouragement Wendy needed. She sent Lonnie Michal, and within three months Revell bought the series.

  Sixteen years earlier, Lonnie had planted the idea for Michal’s story, and God brought that story back to her in 2007. While at times I have been impatient, wondering if anything would ever come of this longing to tell David and Michal’s tale, God had His plan all along. He brought the book full circle in His timing and in His way.

  I hope you have enjoyed Michal’s story as much as I have. But my biggest prayer is that this fictional retelling wi
ll inspire you to read the real story in 1 and 2 Samuel of the Bible. Biblical fiction was not meant to replace but to increase our love for the real story in Scripture. I have done my best to stay true to Scripture throughout this novel. Any discrepancies or inaccuracies are my own.

  Your servant in Him,

  Jill Eileen Smith

  Jill Eileen Smith has more than twenty years of writing experience, ranging from articles and short stories to reviews and blogs. Her writing has placed or won prizes in several writing contests. In addition to homeschooling her three sons, Smith has taught piano and women’s Bible studies. She enjoys baking, traveling, scrapbooking, and the antics of her two lovable cats. She lives with her husband and sons in southeast Michigan.

  To learn more about Jill, visit her website, www.jilleileensmith.com. For more about David and Michal, visit www.thewivesofkingdavid.com. Feel free to email Jill at jill@jilleileensmith.com. She loves to hear from her readers.

  NEW BIBLICAL FICTION!

  Get drawn into this emotional and very personal story of one woman trying to make a life out of what fate seems to throw at her. A fresh look at Jesus’s encounter with the Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well.