Strong and Hard Women

by Tanya Bunsell

  as contextual and interpersonal, citing the importance of respect, connection and empathy between the researcher and participant. For these reasons, there has been a growth of ‘feminist ethnographers’ in recent years, emphasizing the quality of relationships within the research and ‘the quality of the understanding that emerges from those relationships’ (Reinharz 1983: 185).1

  Overview of the study: research sites, access, sample,

  interviews, profile of the women

  My two-year ethnographic study took place in the South of England from 2006

  to 2008 (although further studies continued until 2012). The majority of the ethnographic study focused on one site, a gym located in a large city that formed

  part of the biggest health and fitness club group in the world.2 Once initial contacts were established in this gym, the study spread to other sites and eventually covered a total of six gyms in the region, as well as involving my attendance at bodybuild-

  ing competitions.3 Of these gyms, three were of the health and fitness variety;

  the other three were of a more hardcore type. Hardcore gyms are distinguished from the former by their sole focus on weight-training, for either bodybuilding or powerlifting purposes. Also referred to as ‘spit-and-sawdust’ gyms, they consist of basic facilities and do not endorse the luxuries of nice changing rooms or attractive décor.4 Of the hardcore gyms in the study, two appeared run-down and worn out and, apart from exercise bikes, were kitted out with simple free-weights equipment such as dumbbells, barbells, a squat rack, etc. The other hardcore gym had a far more extensive range of weight-training equipment such as resistance machines and also provided limited cardiovascular equipment (such as treadmills, bikes and rowers) for its clientele.

  The fact that I was a qualified personal trainer with over ten years’ experi-

  ence of working in various gyms and knew the basic gym ‘linguistics’5 and

  14 Researching female bodybuilders

  ‘body techniques’ of weight training assisted me in gaining rapport with female bodybuilders. Indeed, my first encounter with my key collaborator

  ‘Michelle’ (a bodybuilder of five years) arose when she offered to ‘spot’ for me in the weights area whilst I was doing a dumbbell chest-press exercise. During the period of the study I immersed myself in the daily routines of this lifestyle by training, dieting and interacting with female bodybuilders. While I did not regard myself as a bodybuilder, I became sufficiently strong for these women to take me seriously when I was working out with them, whilst not becoming so visibly muscular that I was unable to pass as an ‘ordinary user’ to other gym members and to those friends and family members of female bodybuilders that I interviewed. My willingness to engage in long hours of serious weight training (an activity considered unfeminine and deviant by gender norms) also helped convince the female bodybuilders to whom I spoke that I was sympathetic and serious in wanting to understand their activities and commitments. Being a woman also made it easier for me to raise and discuss intimate issues with them – ranging from unwanted body hair to sexual relationships. Gaining this degree of immersion involved the following practicalities: getting up at 5am to train for several hours with female bodybuilders; learning new body techniques and exercises (including the use of training equipment such as wraps, belts and chalk); going to competitions; waking up aching every day; eating protein every two hours; taking supplements such as creatine, glutamine, tribulus, zinc and essential fatty acids (EFAs); and spending a vast quantity of time talking about bodybuilding, reading magazines, participating in online bodybuilding forums, watching DVDs and building friendships with female and male bodybuilders.

  As a result of my feminist stance, I was open with my interviewees as to what my research was about and was happy to discuss any issues with them. There were also times, though, when it was ‘impractical to seek consent from everyone involved’ (Murphy and Dingwall 2001: 342), such as when I was training and observing in the public domain of the gym. During some fieldwork I did not automatically introduce myself as a researcher, but would explain my presence if asked. In one instance, when I worked backstage at two major bodybuilding competitions (in order to try and capture the ambience and environment of these key occasions in female bodybuilding), I was asked by a couple of inquisitive male bodybuilders why I was there and told them about my research. Generally, though – perhaps due to being a relatively young, slim, toned female – I was accepted in the field and my position was rarely questioned.

  During the research I kept a field diary of my experiences which acted as both a research log – detailing significant events during the course of the research – and a reflective account of my experiences of undertaking the research and ‘sharing the life’ of a female bodybuilder (Krane and Baird 2005: 96). In addition to this ethnographic immersion in the gym environment (and tracing in rich detail the lifestyle of the female bodybuilder via my key informant), interviews were conducted with 26 female bodybuilders to elicit detailed personal narratives (Mishler 1986).

  These were supplemented by a total of 76 interviews with friends and family members of these women and with other gym users which contextualized the

  Researching female bodybuilders 15

  lives of female bodybuilders, allowing an insight into the intimate relationships and interactions that impacted upon the identity of these women. By this means I was able to obtain thoughts and views on a wide range of issues, such as how they felt about the female bodybuilder in question, why they thought she was doing it, and what effects the lifestyle had on both the female bodybuilder and her relationships.

  Who were these women?

  Of the female bodybuilders in the study, 17 were either competing contemporarily or had competed in the past, and their ages ranged from 23 to 48 years. All the women were dedicated to maximizing their muscular size and definition. While several worked out in hardcore bodybuilders’ gyms dedicated exclusively to building muscle, most trained in public gyms that were closer to home and adequate for their needs. Their occupations were concentrated in the working and middle classes (ranging from fitness instructor, to office worker, to university lecturer). Half of the women had degrees, and all but two of them were white British (the others were black British/Afro-Caribbean). The majority of the women were in heterosexual relationships and five had children. The question of female bodybuilders’ sexual orientation has been raised frequently during this study. However, it is difficult to find accurate statistics on the general population’s sexual orientation, let alone that of female bodybuilders, who may wish to hide their preferences due to the stigma attached. Whilst the majority of the women in my study were in heterosexual relationships, there was a higher than average proportion of lesbians/homosexuals in my sample: 23 per cent, compared to the

  national average of 5–7 per cent.6 I do not claim that these findings are representa-

  tive of British bodybuilders, but more that they give an indication. What perhaps is more interesting is female-bodybuilding journalist Hans Klein’s interpretation of the situation, expressed in the following abstract (cited on his blogs and in personal conversations):

  What actually made me start thinking about this issue was seeing the way that female bodybuilders – whether or not they identify as gay – interact with each other. When you see two female bodybuilders together, it’s obvious there is an instant intimacy between them, even if they have only just met. I think it comes from a sense of a shared struggle. The idea that female bodybuilders bond with each other in a unique way leads on to another issue. I’ve heard some female bodybuilders express the view that they are not attracted to women in general but only to other female bodybuilders. In other words, they are not ‘lesbians’ in the conventional sense but something that is actually far more specific than that term suggests. They are attracted to female bodybuilders not because they fetishize muscle like a lot of male fans of women’s bodybuilding, but because they see so much of themselves in othe
r female bodybuilders. This may also be why, when you have two female bodybuilders in a relationship, the urge to merge is so strong.

  16 Researching female bodybuilders

  In this way, it is extremely difficult to categorize and ‘label’ the sexual orientation of female bodybuilders. What is of most significance to the non-bodybuilding social variables that could be used to differentiate these women, however, is their lack of salience in relation to the responses and comments of both these female bodybuilders and those others with whom they interacted. Thus, the pursuit of muscle was articulated consistently by all the female bodybuilders in the study as the central feature of their self-identities, and this was reflected in the emphasis placed on musculature by their friends, family and others. What mattered, first and foremost, was that these women were devoted to the pursuit of muscle. This is the context in which I identify the female bodybuilders in this study exclusively in terms of the time they spent pursuing this goal.

  Confessing the ‘ethnographic self’

  As I write this my arm is throbbing. I finished a workout about 2 hours ago and have just refuelled. I’ve got work to do but all I want to do is go back to bed. I feel physically shattered. My forearm hurts just picking up a cup of tea.

  My hand hurts, my shoulders, biceps and lats – all of which were pumped with blood and endorphins not so long ago. But now I feel drained, tired, heavy and a little nauseous from the caffeine stimulants… For the first time today I looked in the mirror whilst training back and biceps and saw muscularity. My lats were engorged with blood and flared out, my delts looked defined and the veins on my biceps demanded attention.

  (Field notes, 31 July 2007)

  On paper, ethnography can appear deceptively simple, and yet in reality it is a

  ‘messy business’ (Pearson 1994: vii) that requires the researcher to be both adapt-able and persevering in their quest for ‘verstehen’ (see Ferrell and Hamm 1998).

  Regardless of how many sanitized accounts of ‘research methods’ you read, however much you think you have prepared yourself fully for all events, the path of real-life research rarely runs smooth, as I discovered (Hobbs and May 1993). The intention of the following script is to provide a more ‘fleshed out’ account – warts, bruises, the occasional callus and all – of some of the dilemmas and events that occurred during the research process, and to identify and unravel some of the complex relationships and interconnections between myself and the research. It should perhaps be noted that researchers who have adopted and utilized a theoretical confessional written stance in their research have been criticized for being unprofessional (Willis 2000). Furthermore, ‘confessionals’ (Van Maanen 1988) are often perceived as narcissistic, self-indulgent, exhibitionist and unhelpful accounts (Lofland and Lofland 1995 [1984]: 14) that dwell in the fictitious subjectivity of the arts and must be separated from ‘scientific, objective, value free research’.

  However, I believe that no research can remain pure, untouched or unpolluted, as it is always constructed by ‘subjective’ human beings. Moreover, if Conquergood is correct in claiming that ‘ethnography is an embodied practice… an intensely

  Researching female bodybuilders 17

  sensuous way of knowing’ (1991: 180), how can a researcher try to comprehend the world from another’s perspective and yet in the same instance remain detached?

  As Coffey (1999: 8) convincingly points out:

  Ethnographic research is peopled – by researcher and researched. Fieldwork is itself a ‘social setting’ inhabited by embodied, emotional, physical selves.

  Fieldwork helps to shape, challenge, reproduce, maintain, reconstruct and represent ourselves and the selves of others.

  In this way, regardless of intention, the researcher becomes embedded in the very social world that they are studying; ‘it is not a matter of methodological commitment, it is an existential fact’ (Hammersley and Atkinson 1983: 15). My ethnographic work is thereby inevitably a product of my own experiences, both past and present, and my own ‘sociological gaze’. The findings are inescapably fashioned by who I am, what I have witnessed and those I have encountered.

  Research findings are furthermore complicated by the actual writing process itself – which is inescapably a mediating experience, consisting of a retrospective account which is inevitably an approximation of experience. Consequently, the writings, quotes and findings belong to a highly edited process that incorporates personal scrutiny, selectivity and interpretation. Reflexivity and reflexive accounts are therefore an essential part of the research process. This reflexivity will not of course prevent bias and politics, but it will allow both myself and the reader ‘to consider the implications of these issues on how the research was conducted and the substantive findings that emerge’ (Devine and Heath 1999: 7; see also Aptekar 2002). In the sections that follow, I unveil my own relationship with the research enterprise and explore ‘how fieldwork shapes and constructs identities, intimate relations, an emotional self and physical self’ (Coffey 1999: 5).

  Negotiating the field: body work and blending in

  Real-life research is a learning curve and challenge with no definitive protocol to follow. It is a continuous and fraught lesson in how to connect with disparate people, create rapport and enable participants to unveil and reveal the subtle complexities which make up social life. Thus building trust and gaining kudos are essential components of ethnographic research, particularly when researching

  ‘deviant’ subcultures. Impression management becomes paramount if one is to blend as much as possible in the field, as ‘what our body looks like, how it is perceived and used can impact upon access, field roles and field relationships’

  (Coffey 1999: 68). Conducting research on female bodybuilders inevitably required a great deal of ‘body work’ – both as a performative presentation-of-self and as physical labour. As I lacked the large muscles that signify being a female bodybuilder, performing an acceptable bodily appearance was particularly imperative. At bodybuilding competitions and during daily interactions with female bodybuilders, I dressed down and predominantly wore jeans and t-shirts in order to blend in as much as possible with the group that I initially ‘hung around with’,

  18 Researching female bodybuilders

  who wore casual and comfortable clothes (such as tracksuit bottoms and combats)

  and little or no make-up.7 Coffey (1999: 73) points out that ‘ethnographers also span body boundaries during the course of fieldwork’. Supporting Coffey’s observation, I found that the very physicality of gym work required me to use my body in different ways than those I was used to. New body techniques and exercises had to be learnt, which were sometimes frustrating, embarrassing or uncomfortable to grasp. Training with others can also be a very intimate and sometimes awkward activity, as bodies are in close proximity and ‘spotting’ and ‘correcting’

  require touching and physical contact. One particularly ‘controversial’ exercise, for example, was ‘donkey calf raises’, which required me to sit on my training partner’s back whilst she bent over and did calf raises – much to the amusement of some gym spectators! My bodily postures changed too, as I observed and unconsciously copied my gym partners, realizing that I had done this only as a result of the responses of others. For example, my male gym friends began to tease me that in the gym I walked ‘like I had beach balls under my arms’. My body grew

  in both strength and size during the course of the research.8 At my peak I put on almost two stone of muscle and water, with an increase of three inches on my thighs and two inches on my arms. Despite these physical changes, compared to a female bodybuilder or even an elite female athlete – for example, a sprinter – I would still be considered just ‘toned’ to many ordinary people, and especially to bodybuilders.

  Whilst the majority of female bodybuilders accepted my presence, acknowledged my empathy and willingly confided in me, gaining this ‘access’ did not go totally uncontested. In one episode, before a promin
ent female bodybuilder would let me interview her, she put me through a kind of ‘initiation test’ to check my seriousness and passion for training, by fixing me up to train with a 20-stone male bodybuilder. Another female bodybuilder directly asked my key informant: ‘Can she be trusted? What does she know? Have you told her about steroids?’ Personal relationships based on trust are the foundation of any research which desires to procure valid data capturing the sincerity of the actor’s perspective and social context (Johnson 1975). However, there is always a cost that arises from creating a relationship based on ‘trust’, as a researcher cannot selectively decide which data they wish to be ‘trusted with’ and which events and situations they are willing to be present in, especially when they cannot be foreseen (Punch 1994). Indeed, fieldwork raises ongoing personal and interpersonal ethical concerns. Researchers must not only negotiate their own moral tightrope and decide to what lengths they are prepared to go in order to obtain data, but need also to protect their own academic integrity as well as that of their participants.

  Issues of risk, danger and illegality that can arise during ethnographic research have been discussed and documented in some depth, particularly by criminolo-gists who favour ethnographic methods (see Polsky 1971 [1967]; Inciardi 1993; Ferrell 1998; Hobbs 1988; Jacobs 1998; Patrick 1973; Parker 1974; Brajuha and Hallowell 1986). Inevitably, there were times when I too had to negotiate risk and illegality. In my case, one of the most controversial moral, ethical and legal issues