Paper Dolls

by Sienna Mynx

  Valentina sighed. She never verbally admitted to it but she wanted nothing to do with the old Valentina. She wanted to be connected with her real self. “Yeah, that’s why. I want everything natural. Nothing fake or superficial in my life anymore. That’s why I chose you. Things were natural at first for me with AK, I did love him. But when my world crashed I had to dig deep to find what sustains me. And there you were. My sustenance. This is the better me, Matt. Take it or leave it.”

  “I’ll take it, babe. All of it,” Mattel said. “It pisses me off though.”

  “What? What pisses you off?” Valentina asked.

  “How little credit you give yourself. Do you know how much courage it takes to start again? To reach inside of you and find something to love and hold on to it, despite the world telling you differently. You faced the worst of the business and you survived. Now you’re stronger, and more beautiful. You’re a survivor. Pisses me off when you can’t see it.”

  She smiled.

  “Yeah?” she asked.

  “Yes,” he nodded.

  “My song drops next month and there’s no going back,” she teased. “Your name is all over it.”

  “I can’t wait,” he chuckled.

  “No fear?” she arched a brow. “It’s cool to say you’re a little worried.”

  “Do I look worried to you?” he caressed her thigh all the way up into the back of her shorts to squeeze her ass. “First time I met you I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. You remember that song you sang at that listening party?”

  “Yep, I think it was Show Me,” she said.

  “Sing it for me, baby,” he said and kissed her lips.

  She giggled and sang as he rolled on top of her and dry fucked her through his shorts. She couldn’t carry a tune as she laughed and giggled. Mattel lifted his face from where it was buried against her neck. He looked down at her with love. “I’m not saying that prejudice doesn’t exist. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have your preference in men, or your pride in your culture. I’m just saying that with me it’s about Valerie Masters. Pure and simple. I could give a fuck if you were purple with a green horn growing out of your ass.”

  She laughed.

  He laughed.

  Valentina hugged him. He rolled to his back and brought her with him. She pressed her face against his chest. “I swear, Matt, your skin color isn’t even a consideration. You’re the man I love, and if I ever do or say something that puts our love in jeopardy I don’t know what I’d do.”

  “Then let me make love to you,” he whispered.

  “You aren’t ready,” she quickly said.

  “Valentina, you’ve been avoiding me for weeks. You think I don’t know it?” Matt asked.

  “I have not!”

  “Yes, you have. I’m fine. Every part of me works. What are you afraid of? The truth.”

  “I haven’t—”she stopped herself.

  “What is it, tell me?”

  She rolled over to her back. “What if it changes? We have sex and then, I don’t know, what if it’s not what you want or I want. What if something changes?” she mumbled.

  “It will change. We take it to the physical and that’s a whole other level between you and me. Nothing can make me love you less. What about you? Will sex be a deal breaker for you?”

  She looked over at him, with a sly smile. “I’m into kink sometimes. I like anal, and I like a little spanking every now and then.”

  Mattel laughed. He roared with laughter. “Okay.”

  “I like toys in the bed,” she added. “I have a little silver bullet I use if you are… uhm, hitting it from the back.”

  “Interesting.” he said.

  “I like it rough sometimes. And then soft and sweet other times.”

  “Show me,” he said. He slipped his hand between her thighs and palmed her sex.

  “Boy please! I’m playing with you, well kinda! I do have a silver bullet.”

  He tickled her side. Valentina squealed with laughter and then screams from all around them erupted. Confused Mattel sat upright. Valentina did as well. Hard footfalls could be heard. People ran past their tent. Several fell in the sand. Mattel helped Valentina stand up and they both stepped out barefoot onto the hot sand.

  Women and men were running to where Manny’s stage performers were. Valentina put her hand to her brow and tried to focus. The M.C. came out. It was DJ Black and Tan. He announced that AK-47 would take the stage in less than ten minutes.

  “Guess AK can still draw a crowd,” Mattel said.

  Valentina lowered her hand. So her ex had decided to stay in the game and not go independent. A knot formed in the pit of her stomach. It gripped her with the familiar guilt she’d weathered since she last saw him.

  “Zee didn’t say he was one of the acts,” she mumbled.

  “You okay?” he asked. His hand touched her lower back.

  “Yeah, yea, I’m fine,” she said.

  “Why don’t you go see him?” he said.

  “What? Huh?” she looked over to him shocked by the suggestion.

  “Babe, it’s been weeks. Maybe you can get some closure,” he said.

  “Who says I didn’t already?” she asked.

  “Valentina,” he smiled.

  “He doesn’t want to speak to me, Matt.”

  “You won’t know if you don’t try,” Mattel said.

  She expelled a deep sigh. “What man wants his woman to go to another man? Aren’t you supposed to be jealous?”

  He hooked his arm around her neck and pulled her over playfully. “I’m a man confident in his woman’s feelings for him. I know you care about AK. The man got the shit end of the deal. Go see him, babe, if he doesn’t want to talk, fine, but at least try.”

  “Come with me?” she asked.

  Mattel laughed. “I’ve got beer from the cooler at the front of the tent. I’m fine. I won’t break.”

  She put her arms around his waist. “Have I told you that I love you today?”

  “Show me that you love me when we get home, okay?”

  She released another deep sigh. “Whatever. Get a doctor’s note first and then I’ll give you a taste.” Mattel smacked her on her rump as they walked back inside the tent. Valentina picked up and put on her sunglasses and shoes.

  “I won’t be long, probably can’t get near him anyway,” she said.

  “Be careful, you’re a celebrity too,” he reminded her.

  “Yeah right.” She laughed before she walked out. “No one cares or sees me when AK-47 is blowing up the spot,” she said jokingly. She walked out and across the sand. She was right. Folks were too busy rushing toward the concert stage, kicking up sand as they passed her by. With her sunglasses on, and her long flowing dreadlocks back into a net, she blended in with the crowd. AK arrived on stage with his entourage hyping the crowd. The men sprayed the audience with their water bottles. And the crowd went wild. Many arms were in the air, and everyone grooved to his rhymes. He reached out and slapped the hands of several of his fans, never missing a beat.

  He had on low hung jeans from his designer label and his shirt tucked into his back pocket. His darkly tanned bare chest glistened with sweat, and was ripped to perfection with muscles and tattoos. A large platinum diamond encrusted chain hung from his neck with his initials carved over a gun.

  Valentina smiled. She remembered how he warmed up for a set. The times they shared in his trailer before and after concerts. He was a good guy, and the sweetest boyfriend. She really wanted to see him happy. So she pushed out of the crowd and circled around to the back of the stage. Manny saw her first. He hurried over. He wore pink shorts and a white Lacoste shirt. His buttery tan skin and platinum blonde hair gave him flair that couldn’t be missed.

  “Ooooooh, honey! I was hoping you would be here. Girl, I got a spot for you, please Valentina, sing for us, maybe a sneak peek from your new album.” Manny begged.

  “What? Boy, please! Hell nah.” Valentina walked off. But Manny was on
her heels.

  “Valentina, please! Pretty please with sugar and strawberry cream on top!” he pleaded.

  “Manny, no. I need to get backstage to see—” She stopped at the wall of security. It was clear to her that getting backstage would only come at Manny’s approval. Not even her celebrity could break through the blockade of giants. “Tell you what,” she turned and faced him. “AK has a song that I did the hook to. I could possibly sing it. Got to talk to him first.”

  Manny’s eyes stretched with delight. “Oh shit! That would be the lick and the cream, honey! C’mon!” Manny shooed away security and pulled her through. They arrived at the side of the stage. Valentina could see members of AK’s group snatch up groupies who immediately ran to the rapper and felt on his pecs, or humped his legs. God she hated women that debased themselves publicly like that.

  “Tell the truth,” Manny whispered in her ear. “I read that y’all broke up, you miss that hotness don’t you? Brother is fine as hell! Look at him!” Manny whispered.

  Valentina did. She understood why women would find him hot. Why Dirty Red would risk her freedom for his love and affection. He was a beauty on the outside, and a beautiful person inside too.

  “I miss his friendship most of all,” she mumbled more to herself than him.

  AK performed four more songs before he ran off, leaving his DJ to mix things up on the stage. When he descended the steps he stopped at the sight of her. His assistant put a bottle of water in his hand. The stage manager told him when he would have to return to the stage, and his manager was pummeling him with concerns. But AK stood there not taking his eyes off her.

  Manny grinned. He stepped into his line of view. “AK, look who I found, I thought it’d be cool if you two performed a set together. It would blow the lid off this joint! What do you think?”

  “Hi,” he said to Valentina.

  “Hi. I didn’t come to mess with your thing. I was hoping we could talk,” she said.

  Manny’s neck whipped back around and he frowned. “Talk? Shoot, girl, sing! The two of you could—”

  “Manny.” Valentina cut her eyes at him. “We’ll let you know, okay?”

  Manny fumed. “Fine, but soon!” he said in a huff and pranced off.

  AK nodded to his trailer. “Maybe we should take this inside.”

  Valentina glanced back over her shoulder. Of course a small crowd had gathered. From groupies with their V.I.P. passes to members of the press.

  She nodded. “Sure, I’d like that.”

  AK walked off and she followed. She avoided the questions that a reporter asked her and hoped they were beyond the scope of a paparazzi lens. She slipped inside his trailer with him. She was grateful for the air-conditioning. The outside sun was blistering even in the tent with their portable fans.

  “I’ve got thirty minutes before I’m on again,” he said. He headed to the back of his trailer.

  Valentina looked around. Flashes of the steamy days and nights she’d spent with him in this fuck mobile on wheels played out before her eyes. Sitting down at the small table she eased across the booth seat. The ashtray had a blunt in it. Without asking she fired it up and took a drag of the marijuana. She hadn’t had anything since her arrest. The thick tangy smoke filled her lungs and her eyes lowered after she exhaled a long milky strand. She took another hit, for her nerves, then another hit for the road. She savored the calming effect weed had on her.

  AK walked out and saw her smoking his blunt. He said nothing. He never did. Instead he dropped down in the booth seat across from her. “Surprised to see you.”

  Valentina exhaled through her nose. “How are things?”

  “Things are what they are. Right?”

  Valentina put out the blunt with her fingers. “Okay then, how are you?”

  “I’m maintaining. Crew’s gone. Nothing but family left. Even my shady ass cousins proved more loyal than friends and lovers.”

  “I heard.”

  “How’s Matt? I mean his recovery?” AK asked.

  Valentina smiled. “He’s going to be fine. Thanks for asking.”

  They sat in silence. Valentina could barely take the way he stared at her. “Do you hate me?”

  “No,” he answered.

  “I hurt you,” she said. “I cheated on you. Maybe not one hundred percent physically, but in all the ways that count I cheated. I want to admit that to you. Because you deserve the truth.”

  “Yeah, well shit happens,” he said.

  “Earl—”

  “I don’t hate you, Valentina, not even for a moment,” AK said.

  She laughed. “Now I don’t believe that. I’ve got the broken TV to prove otherwise.”

  “Yeah, that was fucked up. Sorry about that.” He grinned. “I was hurt. I was angry, but through it all I never hated you.” AK leaned forward and reached for her hands. “Baby, I saw this shit coming. Maybe not you and Matt, my fucking ego wouldn’t let me accept that bullshit. But I had my suspicions that you weren’t a hundred percent in it with me. A man can tell. I just wanted you so fucking bad, I convinced myself to believe you were all mine.”

  “How did you see it so clearly when I couldn’t?”

  “I saw us and the ways we didn’t fit,” he replied. “When you were down in your depression I couldn’t think of ways to bring it out of you. And I knew you needed something I couldn’t give you. Just a feeling I had.”

  “You were a great boyfriend, Earl. I was happy with you,” she said.

  “Sure you were happy, but I was in love with you. Do you get that?”

  Valentina looked away. Earl pulled on her hands and forced her to look back at him. “Hey. A man knows his woman.”

  “The way things went down it seemed calculated on my part. I never meant it to be.”

  “I’m not happy about it, but it’s cool. I’ve had a lot of pain in my life since my parents died. I know how to survive with it, deal with it, move on from it.”

  He pulled her hand to bring her out of the booth seat. She went to him willingly. AK stood. He removed her sunglasses so he could look into her eyes. “We were good once, homeboy ever fuck up, you know where to find me.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek. He pulled back and their eyes connected. He leaned in again he tried to kiss her mouth, but she put her hand to his chest and stopped him. AK smiled. “A nigga gotta try.”

  “You’re not a nigga, you never were.” Valentina smiled and kissed him. It was brief and it hurt. They both knew it would be their last. “I should go,” she said and turned away.

  “Not so fast,” he said.

  She stopped and looked back.

  “My song? You gonna perform it with me?” he asked.

  “Huh, well I—”

  “We can show the world how mature we are. It’s the way I want to say goodbye.”

  Valentina hugged him. AK held her tightly and she was so grateful for his forgiveness. “Yes, I’d like that. I’d like it a lot.”

  **

  “Hey!” Zephyr said. Mattel sat outside of the tent in a lawn chair with his Ray-Ban’s on. He sipped his beer. He watched the act on the stage. “Where’s Valentina? Does she know that AK’s here?” Zephyr asked.

  The DJ returned and announced a special guest. Zephyr looked to the stage as AK ran out spitting his rhymes hard. The beat was fierce and everyone screamed. The crowd went manic when Valentina’s voice sang sweetly off the stage. Mattel sat upright. He Zephyr, and Clayton watched her come out on stage. She walked around AK singing. She ran her hand over his broad bare shoulders. AK looked at her as if she was the finest woman he’d ever seen.

  “I don’t believe it,” Zephyr mumbled. “How the hell did she pull that off?”

  Mattel smiled. “No man can resist her. That’s my Valerie.”

  **

  The spray from the tap felt like a cool summer rain after a hot blistering day. She tilted her head back and dripped water droplets from her locs. She rinsed away the sand and heat of the day. Life had never felt sweeter
to her.

  Mattel opened the bathroom door. He knew Carlotta hadn’t replaced the towels. So he brought two folded ones and dropped them on the sink. He turned to leave but caught a glimpse of her. Valentina stood under the circular showerhead that dropped from the ceiling of the shower. Mesmerized, he watched as long streams of water coursed down her dark skin. She rolled her neck and her breasts lifted with her darker nipples as ripe as blackberries peaking upward. His gaze continued its descent, and the heat in his groin grew so intense his balls ached. She turned under the water smiling. And then her eyes opened. Caught. He held her questioning stare. A sly smile formed on her lips. She dared him to act on his lust with that smile.

  Reaching behind his back he gripped the top collar of his shirt and pulled it over his head, and then began to work off his belt.

  Valentina waited. His skin still had the evidence of violence inflicted on him, but it was fading. In fact he looked beautiful to her. The wrap around his chest was undone. She watched with baited breath. He pushed down his jeans and underwear. A dark mass of curls peaked, then his semi-erect cock dropped into view. A tremor of anticipation vibrated through her. Soon she’d have him, all of him. She pushed in the latch and the glass door to the shower opened. He approached.

  Mattel stepped on to the cool shower floor. She had the shower set to ice cold. Which was perfect for him because he was so damn hot for her. The shower door closed behind him. His eyes left her face and went to the breasts he loved to touch. He cupped the back of her neck and brought her in to taste her tongue. Her hand went to his cock immediately. She was so damn aggressive. He liked that. Then her lips parted and she brought them to his bobbing Adams-apple, running her tongue over it before sucking the sensitive part of his skin that had been seared by the sun. She tugged on his cock with her fingers curled tightly around its length. He grew painfully erect under her touch. Mattel’s lids were heavy and he struggled to keep them open as his head dropped back and the pressure mounted in his groin.

  Valentina licked and sucked his neck, jacking his dick relentlessly. He had to touch her, and did. He caressed her back, then down to the dip at the rise of her perfectly shaped ass. He palmed both cheeks, squeezing them as he threatened to jet out a stream right there from the tug and pull she was working on his cock. What he’d give to plunge deep into her.