Paper Dolls

by Sienna Mynx

  Zephyr put her cat down. “I need to feed Stripes.” She said in a monotone voice.

  “Let me feed the cat. You sit down, you look exhausted.” Raven got up and went for Stripes, taking him into the kitchen. Zephyr walked over to the sofa and plopped down. She immediately kicked off her shoes and rested her head in her hands.

  Valentina joined her. “What happened? What’s going on with you?”

  “Not me, José.”

  “Matt called earlier and told me that the league put him out. Tell me? Did that fool end up crying on your doorstep?” Valentina snickered.

  Zephyr shot her a look.

  “Did I say something wrong?” Valentina asked.

  “He has a drug problem! It’s serious,” she snapped.

  “Drugs?”

  “Steroids.” Raven returned from the kitchen. “Might as well be. I remember having to deal with it when I represented that U of M kid that got drafted. Crawford, remember him?”

  Zephyr burst into tears. The girls looked on with deep concern. Valentina rubbed her back and Zephyr dropped over and cried—hard. “They say that he’s going through depression. They say that withdrawal could even lead to suicide. You should have seen him. The way I found him, the way he begged me to come back to him. And I just walked out and left him. I was so cruel.”

  “They who?” Valentina asked.

  Raven knelt before her while Valentina rubbed her hair. “Sweetheart, this isn’t your fault,” Raven said.

  Zephyr shook her head. “He’s so alone, Rae, he has nobody. He’s all alone. José said he was sorry. He said he had regrets.”

  “Hey, this is José’s problem not yours.” Valentina said. She squeezed her arm. Zephyr flinched. Valentina noticed. She grabbed her wrist and forced her to let her see her arm. “Baby girl, did I do that?”

  Raven leaned in and looked. “How’d you get that bruise?”

  “He was upset, he didn’t mean it,” Zephyr said.

  “He hit you?” Valentina gasped.

  “No, no!”

  “Zephyr!” Valentina stood. “Got damn it!”

  Raven sat next to her. “How did you get that bruise, Zee? Tell us the truth.”

  “What am I six? I told you both he didn’t hit me. He grabbed me. Big difference.”

  “Holy tomatoes. No this girl didn’t say it was a big difference.” Valentina smacked her forehead and paced away.

  “He couldn’t control himself. He didn’t mean it. It’s the drugs. It’s not José.”

  “Okay that’s it. He comes around again and I’m calling the cops! No you’re calling the cops!” Valentina insisted.

  Zephyr sighed. “You don’t understand, it’s part of his problem.”

  “I don’t care about his fucking problem. I care about you! Zee, you aren’t his fucking punching bag!”

  “Make her stop.” Zephyr cried.

  “Valentina, leave her alone. Just cut it out.”

  Valentina walked out of the living room. Zephyr shook her head “He grabbed me to stop me from leaving, the minute he realized he hurt me he let me go. He never touched me again. He even took care of Stripes. He’s got that stuff in him and it’s bad, Rae, he wont even admit to how long he’s been using it.”

  “Valentina has a point, Zee, this is José’s problem. You can’t fix him.”

  “I’m not trying to. I swear I’m not. I told him it was over. That I wouldn’t wait on him, when he was begging for just a little hope. What the hell else do you two want from me?” she said.

  “I told you not to go out there alone. You went by yourself. He could have hurt you. People on steroids are dangerous at times. José is getting increasingly violent.”

  “He’s not going to be around for a long time,” she said.

  Valentina came back out the room. The girls both stared at Zephyr. They made her so uncomfortable. But they were her friends. They meant well. So she sat there and endured it.

  “Why not?” Valentina asked.

  “He’s checked himself into rehab. He’s staying there. Voluntarily.”

  “So those are the ‘they’ you were talking about?”

  “Yes. It’s over, his career, us, all of it. He has to deal with his issues and I have to deal with me. Excuse me,” she said going to the bathroom. Once inside she locked the door. She went to the toilet and lowered the lid. She sat on top of it. It was over. There was no going back. And she accepted it.

  **

  Raven and Valentina were great. They lounged around and watched her favorite reality shows with very little complaint. No one mentioned José, Paper Dolls, or Valentina’s arrest. They all agreed to just let things be.

  When she went home she sat in the car. She was too emotionally exhausted to turn it off and go inside. All she could do was sit there. She wanted the image of him lying there drunk and depressed out of her mind. She wanted to forget his empty promises that their future could be different. She wanted to be tough like Valentina and Raven.

  A car drove up next to hers. She didn’t blink, just stared straight ahead.

  Clayton parked his car next to Zephyr’s. He looked over. She sat behind the wheel staring straight ahead. He honked his horn. She looked over at him. She was so damn beautiful. But her eyes were sad, weepy. She gave him a small smile. He turned off his car and she turned off hers. They left their vehicles at the same time.

  “Hi, beautiful,” he said.

  “Hi, Clay. How are you?”

  “Need help?” he asked. He walked over and took Stripes from her.

  She smiled a ‘thanks’. They walked to her door and she unlocked it. Stripes leapt from his arms and went inside.

  “Well g’night,” she said.

  “Zephyr, wait.”

  Sighing she looked over at him. “Yes.”

  “I don’t know what I did wrong, if I came on too strong I’m sorry. I really would like an opportunity—”

  “It’s not you, Clayton, I just don’t have much to offer anybody right now,” she said.

  “That’s just it, Zephyr. I’m not here wanting you to offer me anything. I just want to get to know you.”

  “For what? Not to be rude but I’m sure you have plenty of women in this city to get to know.”

  Clayton smiled. “There you go selling yourself short. Been here long enough and frequent enough to know that none of them compare to you. I’m not asking for your hand in marriage. I’d like to have dinner again, a movie, bowling, maybe a picnic? Hey? How about a text message every now and then?”

  Zephyr laughed. “Tell you what, one of my stylists is having his annual beach party—invite only. I’ll get you an invitation.”

  Clayton’s brows drew together. “Well?”

  “I’ll be there, there will be music and plenty of socializing. It’s a start.”

  He smiled. “That does sound promising.”

  “Fine, I’ll have it to you by tomorrow.” She pushed open her door.

  “Zee?”

  She stopped. “Yes?”

  “Are you okay? You look beautiful, but a little worn thin.”

  Zephyr thought of José. She shook her head in defeat. “You know, sometimes you have to accept the worst in someone and then let them go so they can achieve the best. I learned that today. It was a hard lesson,” she said. “I’m tired. Really tired. G’night, Clay.”

  Zephyr closed the door.

  Chapter Twenty

  Starting Over

  The numbers above blinked as the elevator made its climb to his floor. She wore a short periwinkle blue dress, and matching Dior pumps. Her hair fell in loose curls around her face, and her wrists were adorned with large silver bangles that sang each time her arm moved. Matching large hoops swayed from her ears. When the elevator stopped the doctors looked at each other in agreement, she was a vision of beauty.

  Problem was Zephyr never saw herself that way. And with all the recent drama plaguing her friends and those she loved, she was a ball of nervous energy. To stop her anxie
ty over the cryptic message she received from Valentina, she came straight to the hospital.

  Zephyr continued down the long hospital hall, nibbling on her copper glossed bottom lip. The hospital was quiet. Too quiet. She wondered about the silence of hospital floors. If she ran a hospital there would be nice mood music and festive colors on every wing. A person’s mental health and stability was as important as their physical wellbeing. At least that’s what she believed.

  Her gaze bounced from one number to the next on the patient doors. Then she turned the corner and her vision focused on a visitor like herself. A man. He walked the hall grunting into the tiny cellphone pressed to his ear. He seemed distressed, but when his eyes lifted and saw her staring he paused. He was abrupt in the way he ended the call, never dropping his stare. He had the same eyes as Mattel. He must be a relative, she thought.

  “Hello?” he said

  “Hello,” she answered. “This is Mattel’s room right?” she asked and pointed at the door.

  “Ah, yeah, I’m Jarrod, Matt’s brother.”

  “Oh hi.” She extended her hand. “I’m Zephyr, a friend of Matt and Valentina’s.”

  Jarrod shook her hand and held it for a brief pause. Zephyr cleared her throat and removed her hand from his discreetly.

  “How is he?”

  “Who?” he asked.

  She smiled. “Your brother.”

  “Oh, shit,” he laughed. “Sorry. Matt’s good. He’s up, go ahead, they’re both inside.” Jarrod opened the door for her, enchanted.

  “Thank you,” she smiled, but had to turn sideways to walk in. He stood there with a goofy grin, forgetting to move out of her way.

  “Excuse me,” she said when she passed.

  “Oh sorry,” he said.

  Zephyr barely noticed the drool on his chin. She walked in and found Valentina laughing, sitting on Matt’s bed. Her best friend turned and her eyes stretched in delight. “Zee! You came!”

  “Hi.” Zephyr said. She hugged her. She looked over to Matt. “Hi, Matt, you look good.”

  “Stop lying, no he doesn’t!” Valentina laughed.

  Zephyr frowned. “Valentina?”

  Matt gave a half smile. “She says I look like the elephant man, go ahead be honest––she won’t show me a mirror, thinks I’ll scare myself into a relapse.”

  “Good thing I got a soft spot for elephants, huh?” she grinned. Zephyr frowned at them both. She didn’t get the humor. She and Raven always felt those two spoke in code when they were together. Cutting her gaze back to Jarrod he just shrugged that he agreed.

  “You guys are strange. Did they catch the people who did this? Valentina, you didn’t say much.”

  “Let’s talk,” Valentina said. She squeezed Matt’s hand. “I’ll be right back, sweetie.”

  He winked his consent. Valentina headed for the door. Before Zephyr could follow Jarrod stepped in front of her. “How about lunch sometime?” he asked.

  “Excuse me?” Zephyr said. Valentina and Matt stared at Jarrod curiously.

  “Maybe you’d let me take you to lunch? Whenever I mean.”

  “Oh, that’s sweet, um, yes, maybe,” she said looking away uncomfortably. She walked out and Valentina winked at Jarrod. She mouthed the words, ‘I’ll hook you up’, behind Zephyr’s back.

  “There’s a visitor’s room down the hall,” Valentina said when she joined her friend in the hall. She took Zephyr’s hand and pulled her along. “Looks like Jarrod has a crush. You should get with him.”

  “Oh God I hope not. Last thing I need is another man with a crush,” Zephyr said. “Clayton has really been stepping up the efforts, and I’ve been avoiding him like the plague. He bought Mr. Stripes the cutest little kitty pillow. Left it gift wrapped on my door. It was so sweet.”

  Valentina sat down in one of the plastic chairs and Zephyr sat next to her.

  “That means he wants to date. Will you? José the loser is finally gone, so why not?” Valentina asked.

  “I’m thinking about it. I’m just not ready yet. I tried to call José twice, but they just took the message and said they’d give it to him. He hasn’t even tried to call me. He’s going through a lot though so I understand.”

  “Zee, that’s not your problem.”

  “Enough about me, what happened to Matt? It was on the news that someone tried to murder him?”

  Valentina nodded. “The Mob Squad.”

  “Mobsters?”

  “No, AK’s crew.”

  Zephyr’s eyes stretched. “AK?”

  “Earl had nothing to do with it. It was that whore Stupid Red that set it all up. They jumped him in front of his house. They’re all in jail now.”

  “Are you serious? I can’t believe that. What’s wrong with people?” Zephyr asked in disgust.

  “I don’t know, but I can’t help but blame myself. I broke Earl’s heart, Zee. He didn’t deserve the way I dragged this thing out. He found out from one of those damn gossip rags, you should have seen him.”

  Zephyr touched her hand. “Did you talk to him?”

  “What can I say? Oh sorry that you thought that we were building a life together, but I’m in love with my producer. You lose? Every time I say sorry to him I want to punch my own self in the mouth.”

  Zephyr nodded. “All you can do is be honest with him and yourself.”

  Valentina sighed. “Maybe, but I still get the feeling like I could have done more. Said more. That somehow this all could have been avoided if I wasn’t so damn determined to hide my feelings. It’s not fair. It’s kind of shitty of me to be so happy right now with Matt when he’s hurting.”

  “Valentina, stop it. I know he’s hurt but that’s no reason not to move on. All I’m saying is it’s better that you give him the truth than pretend at something you weren’t invested in.”

  Valentina ran her hands back over her locs. “You’re right. I guess it’ll take time for Matt to heal, AK to forgive, and me to grow up.”

  “Looks like you’re doing okay in that department.” Zephyr smiled.

  “You looking fierce today, where you going?” Valentina asked. She pulled on the high hem of Zephyr’s dress.

  “My condo association is throwing an evening brunch for its tenants at the marina.”

  “Sounds like fun. Have you spoken to Raven?”

  “This morning, she was on her way to therapy. Sick as a dog, and pretty upset,” Zephyr said.

  “Why?”

  “Alexander called. He said he had to fly out on an emergency. He’s coming back in a week or so. I guess she feels like she should have said something sooner.”

  “That girl and her merry-go-round feelings for that man, what is she doing?” Valentina sighed.

  “She’s trying to forgive herself, something you need to do so you don’t put those feelings of guilt on Matt, and your new thing. Now I have to go. Call me if you need anything or Matt does.”

  Valentina stood with her. “I’ll be spending most of my days and nights here until he’s released.”

  “Will you be going to Manny’s Freak-a-Leak party this year?” Zephyr asked.

  “Girl no, oh wait! Speaking of parties what about Raven’s birthday? It’s coming up in a week right?”

  “Well Kevin had this surprise for her, but I’m not sure about that now. We might need to hold back on that and plan something on our own.”

  “That’s right. I’ll call Kevin,” Valentina said.

  “No, I’ll call him. You take care of Matt. Give him my best.” Zephyr hugged her.

  “Will do. Thanks for coming, Zee, you are always what I need.”

  “Love you.” Zephyr walked off just as Jarrod came out of his brother’s room. He stopped at Valentina’s side.

  “So did you put in a good word for me?”

  Valentina frowned. “She’s taken already, but I got a neighbor that might be good for you.”

  “Ouch! She’s not interested huh? Thanks a lot, Valentina.”

  She hit him on the back
and laughed. “Anytime, Jarrod!”

  Jarrod watched the doors close on any chance to get to know Zephyr.

  **

  She picked up a sushi roll and popped it in her mouth. When she was sad she ate, when she was happy she ate, when she was bored she ate. Thank God she had a metabolism that made it matter so little. Piling sushi rolls on her plate, she glanced up to see if any one noticed. The marina was crowded with neighbors she’d only seen in passing. Several stopped to have polite conversation before moving on. Most congregated with those they knew. For Zephyr, that meant this would be a quick event. She should have gone to the synagogue instead.

  “Hi, beautiful.”

  Zephyr turned to see Clayton with a glass of punch.

  “For me?” she asked.

  “For you.” He smiled.

  She accepted the drink and swallowed the ball of sushi tucked in her cheek. “Hi, Clay, how are you?”

  “Good now that I’ve found you. How about we step out on the deck and find a table?”

  “Sure.” She picked up her appetizer plate and followed. They found a table near the pier’s edge. She sat with her hair windblown around her face. Under the noon sun she once again noticed how handsome he was. She’d been pretty evasive the past few days, and felt a pinch of regret. The guy was the sweetest one she’d met in a long time. Shouldn’t she be jumping for joy that he was trying to get to know her?

  “Thank you for the kitty pillow, Stripes loved it. That was so sweet of you.”

  “Milo picked it out. He said Stripes had to have it,” Clayton said.

  “Well tell Milo thank you too.”

  “So how have you been?”

  Zephyr sipped her juice. She looked out at the boats arriving and departing the marina. “Good question. It’s been a weird couple of weeks, but I’m doing okay. How about you?”

  “Just got back yesterday from a technology conference in Seattle. I thought I’d take the day to relax, then relaxing turned into coming here.”

  Zephyr leaned back in her chair. She didn’t know what else to say, so she said nothing. They sat in silence. Seagulls and pelicans landed along the wooden points of the dock. Retirees strolled toward their private yachts with coolers, ready for a day of play. Clayton finally looked in her direction. “I still can’t figure it out.“