Still Waters

by Linda Kavanagh

  Several times over the weekend, she’d been on the brink of telling her patents what was going on between Danny and Rosa. But in the end she’d decided it wouldn’t be fair on them, or on Hannah, who relied on their friendship as she coped with terminal illness. It would drive a wedge between old neighbours, and besides, she intended to confront Rosa first, then Danny, before altering other peoples’ lives.

  “Bye Mum! Bye Dad!” Ivy called, waving as she drove off. In her rear-view mirror, she watched as her parents grew smaller and smaller, then she turned the bend that took her out of the village, and she couldn’t see them any more.

  Ivy shivered, even though the heater in the car was set on high.

  Chapter 51

  Back home, Ivy didn’t even bother to unpack. She went straight to her bedroom where she’d hidden the list of entries she’d taken down from Danny’s passport. Sitting at her dressing table, she meticulously went through all the dates on Rosa’s letters, and checked the postmarks on the postcards, and aligned them with the dates of Danny’s visits abroad.

  Ivy felt sick as she confirmed each location and date. Clearly, Rosa and Danny had been meeting up at exotic destinations for years. Did Danny intend leaving her and going back to Rosa? Or were he and Rosa happy to carry on their affair in secret? On the other hand, if Rosa was the mystery caller, she clearly wasn’t happy with the present situation, and was upping the ante behind Danny’s back.

  Suddenly Ivy’s hand flew to her mouth. Could Danny have guessed that Joseph wasn’t his son? Maybe, having discovered her deception, he’d turned to Rosa to create his own family?

  Her legs felt weak, and she was developing a headache. All this stress was making her feel ill. Her world was unravelling by the minute, yet she still needed to present a calm public face. She had to get up each day, shower, dress and become the elegant woman people expected to see. And she still had to learn her lines and give her usual professional performance on the set of Bright Lights. But despite all her efforts, she sometimes felt her composure was cracking – already Anton and Emily had expressed concern. Yet there wasn’t a single person she could talk to.

  Several times, she thought of ringing Brian, but dismissed it each time because she feared she’d lean on him more than was fair. Thinking of him always brought back happy memories of her time in South Africa. She’d made a decision to help the animals and people of the Eastern Cape, and she wouldn’t forget her promise. As soon as all this business with Danny and Rosa was sorted out – and she’d retrieved her possessions from the lake – she’d talk to Brian and Owen about how she could help best.

  But in the meantime she had to prepare for the following day when the Bright Lights week started again. She’d have to practise iron discipline when she went on the set, leaving her broken heart and disintegrating marriage firmly behind as she stepped once again into the role of Isabella.

  Chapter 52

  When Fred Heartley received his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, his reaction was far from typical. Allied to the shock was a strange sense of relief. In a way, he almost welcomed it, because it meant that his earthly torment would soon be over.

  As the years had slipped by and Joe’s trail had gone cold, people in the village had assumed he’d emigrated to Australia or somewhere equally far away and hadn’t wanted to see his family again. After a while, the locals stopped mentioning him any more, fearing that their enquiries would only remind the Heartleys of their loss.

  But Fred never forgot, not even for an instant. And in his mind, every day brought him nearer to seeing his son. One day soon, Joe would walk into the shop and all those sad and lonely days would disappear, as though they’d never happened. He had to believe it, or he wouldn’t be able to go on.

  He’d never known a day’s peace since Joe disappeared. It was funny how you never realised how much you loved someone until you’d lost them. All those stupid arguments he and Joe had, when all Fred wanted was for his eldest son to benefit from the business he’d built up. In rejecting his father’s offer, Fred felt his son was rejecting him too, so he’d reacted with anger, threats and violence. Easy to be wise afterwards, Fred thought bitterly. All Joe wanted to do was to follow his own star, and I tried to stop him.

  Fred’s expression softened as he thought of his eldest son. Perhaps he’d subconsciously realised that Joe’s charm and personality could build the business into something greater than it was. Funny how Danny became the one who’d made a spectacular success of his life in retail. Fred was hugely proud of Danny, but the ache over Joe’s disappearance would never leave him as long as he lived. Which wouldn’t be for much longer now.

  Fred knew he wouldn’t linger, since pancreatic cancer was a silent insidious killer and it was usually too late by the time it was detected. He’d listened to all the platitudes from the doctors and nurses but, even if he adopted the most positive attitude in the world, it wouldn’t change what was happening inside him.

  He wondered what type of cancer Hannah Dalton had. She’d never mentioned it to him, but he could see there was definitely something wrong, and each time she came into the shop, she seemed to have deteriorated even further. Then again, he could hardly blame her for her obstinacy – he hadn’t told anyone about his cancer yet either. He and Hannah were both fiercely independent people, and neither of them would want other people’s pity. On the other hand, it was sad that they couldn’t confide in each other, since there were some things that only a person of your own age could understand. He supposed her daughter Rosa must have been told by now, and he wondered why he hadn’t seen her back in the village yet. He’d have to let Peggy and Danny know about his own situation soon.

  Fred sighed as he thought of the difficult days ahead. No doubt he’d be given strong painkillers when things got bad. Fred wasn’t a particularly brave man, and his initial instinct had been to take an overdose rather than wait for the disease to eventually claim him. But if he did that, he might miss Joe’s return. For while there was life, there was hope, and he wanted to be there to tell his son that nothing really mattered but his happiness.

  Fred sometimes wondered if he could send Joe a telepathic message. He’d always been sceptical about things like that, but when a man became desperate, he was willing to try anything. Besides, what harm was there in trying? The rest of the family would laugh at him if he told them what he was contemplating – therefore he’d keep his thoughts to himself. But it was a known fact that animals had more highly developed instincts than humans, and knew about forthcoming weather changes – even earthquakes and tsunamis – long before they happened. Who was to say they didn’t achieve this by some form of telepathy? He’d also read that twins were capable of picking up on each other’s physical and mental pain, even across continents. If animals and twins could do it, then there was a hope, albeit a faint one, that he could somehow make contact with Joe. Surely his abiding love, combined with their genetic link, would help him?

  Fred sat down in his favourite armchair, hoping that the silence of the parlour would be a good setting for his experiment. He tried to clear his mind of all extraneous thoughts, then closed his eyes and tried to picture his son. But all he could see was Joe’s face contorted in anger, and the more he thought about it, the more Fred realised that all his contact with Joe in the year before he left had involved angry exchanges. Father and son hadn’t shared a smile in a very long time before he left. Now Fred longed for the chance to put things right and say he was sorry.

  In the silence of the parlour, he once again begged his son to return. Joe, if you can hear me, please come home soon, because I haven’t got long to wait for you …

  He wondered if he needed to practise in order to make the connection. If that was the case, he’d keep repeating his messages daily to Joe, and maybe someday his eldest son would pick up on his words, think kindly of his old dad, and take the bus, train, plane or boat home …

  Chapter 53

  It was another week before Ivy was in a position t
o visit Hampstead again, and she hoped that Rosa would be back from the Bahamas by now. She was still angry with herself for behaving so stupidly when Rosa had phoned her mother. She could have saved herself the journey to Hampstead, and Rosa could be back in Willow Haven with Hannah by now.

  Her meeting with Rosa was becoming more and more urgent – Hannah was continuing to deteriorate, and her own relationship with Danny was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain. Despite her protestations that everything was fine, she’d caught him watching her surreptitiously several times.

  Initially, Ivy had considered arriving at Rosa’s house in her own BMW, and dressing glamorously and ostentatiously to intimidate her rival. But she quickly realised that the brief satisfaction she’d get would be offset by the twitching of local curtains, and before long the paparazzi would be parked outside Rosa’s door. How embarrassing to be caught in the act of confronting your husband’s mistress! Rosa might be happy to tell them she was being stalked by her lover’s wife, who just happened to be a well-known soap star …

  Ivy shuddered at the thought. No, she’d wear something dowdy so she wouldn’t be recognised. Besides, the front door might have one of those spyglasses and, if Rosa realised it was Ivy outside, she might refuse to open the door. And this time Ivy wanted answers. She wasn’t going to be ignored.

  On the evening of her visit, Danny was attending a sailing-club dinner, so she knew he’d be safely out of the way. After showering and changing, he’d asked her advice about what tie he should wear, but she’d pleaded inability to help him, and had lain on the bed claiming to have yet another headache.

  “You really ought to see the doctor,” Danny said worriedly as he selected a pale blue tie. “You’ve had a lot of headaches lately, love – it might be worth having them checked out.”

  Ivy nodded, feigning a sudden violent pain that saw her rolling onto her side and clutching her head. She felt a fraud, but on the other hand she felt perfectly justified since what Danny was doing was even more deceitful. Since discovering his infidelity, she’d been finding it difficult to behave normally when she was with him, and she’d avoided making love by blaming her ongoing headaches any time he approached her. Fortunately, Danny seemed to accept her excuses. Perhaps, Ivy thought angrily, he was actually relieved – it must be difficult keeping two women satisfied!

  Before he left, Danny bent down and kissed her cheek, and Ivy longed to scream at him that he was a liar and a hypocrite. Instead, she mumbled a farewell, and lay on the bed until she heard him drive off. Then she leapt up, dressed and applied slightly different make-up before pinning back her hair and adding a long hooded jacket. Rather than the BMW, she decided to use Joseph’s Fiat Punto, which he stored in one of the garages during term-time. She’d have preferred the comfort of her own car on the drive from Sussex to London, but she didn’t want to draw unnecessary attention to herself.

  When she finally arrived at Cherrywood Road, Ivy saw that the lights were on in Rosa’s house, and suddenly she felt terrified at what she had to do. But she needed to make Rosa aware of how ill her mother was. Surely they could put their personal differences aside, albeit briefly, for Hannah’s sake? Ivy shivered. And then, she’d challenge Rosa about Danny …

  Checking her appearance in the car mirror, Ivy climbed out and pulled up the hood of her jacket. She was shaking with fear as she thought of the confrontation ahead.

  Hopefully the boy would be in bed by now, and she and Rosa could conduct themselves with dignity and decorum. She hoped their emotions wouldn’t get out of hand and reduce them both to squabbling, screaming harridans.

  Walking up the path, Ivy felt an overwhelming urge to turn and run back to Joseph’s Punto. She didn’t need to do this. Hannah’s illness and Rosa’s ignorance weren’t her responsibility. She could simply tell Danny and leave him to tell Rosa. Besides, Hannah would be furious if she knew what Ivy was about to do! On the other hand, Ivy wanted to see close-up the woman who’d managed to keep her husband so captivated all these years. Rosa had been a pretty coquette in her schooldays – had this been enough to keep Danny interested?

  Her finger poised over the doorbell, Ivy allowed herself a few seconds’ reflection. She could walk away now, and no one need ever know she’d been here. She could simply go home, confront Danny, and end her marriage with as much civility and dignity as she could manage.

  Pressing the bell, Ivy took a deep breath. She’d done it, and now it was too late to run away.

  Suddenly, the door opened, and Ivy found herself facing the woman she’d seen entering the house the previous time. But now, in the light of the porch, Ivy could see that she wasn’t Rosa at all. There was a close resemblance and, if Rosa had a sister, this woman might well be her. She wore her hair in a similar style to Rosa, and she was around the same age.

  Ivy peered at the woman in the dim porch light, and quickly decided to adopt a slightly foreign accent. “Oh. Excuse me, is Rosa Dalton here?”

  The woman looked momentarily surprised. “Er – no, she’s away at present.”

  Ivy grimaced. “When will she be back?”

  The woman looked uncomfortable. “I’m not sure. She didn’t say –” Then the woman galvanised herself into action. “Can I take a message?” she asked eagerly. “If you’d like to leave your phone number, I’ll pass it on to her –”

  “No, it’s okay – I’ll catch her later. Thanks.”

  As she walked back to her car, Ivy was puzzled, disappointed and angry. She’d been denied her confrontation. Should she have said something to the woman about Hannah? And what was this look-alike’s connection to Danny?

  Ivy’s brain seemed to have deserted her, and she was annoyed with herself for not asking the woman more pertinent questions. She’d seen her own husband going into this house, so was he having an affair with this woman, rather than Rosa? No, that wasn’t possible – she’d already confirmed that Danny and Rosa met up in exotic locations abroad and she knew the house was Rosa’s address. But why had he visited the house when Rosa didn’t seem to be there? Perhaps he was visiting his child, and the woman was the childminder? Or could she be one of Rosa’s tenants that Hannah was forever boasting about? Did this woman, whoever she was, know all about Rosa and Danny’s affair?

  After an exhausting drive back home, Ivy was in bed and feigning sleep when his driver dropped an inebriated Danny at the front door. Jumping up, she peeped out the window, and could hear him cursing at his inability to get the key into the lock. At any other time, she’d have gone downstairs and let him in, then lovingly guided him upstairs to bed. But now she felt nothing but anger. Let him sit outside all night, she thought viciously. Hopefully, there’ll be a snowstorm while he’s stuck out there. Feeling self-righteous, she got back into bed and eventually drifted off to sleep.

  In the morning, Ivy awoke to discover that Danny was already in the ensuite shower and singing at the top of his voice. Angrily, she turned over to block out the daylight. She’d hoped he’d have a monumental hangover, but he didn’t seem remotely out of sorts.

  Shortly afterwards, Ivy could hear Danny moving around the bedroom. She knew he was dressing, and before he left the room he leaned over and kissed the top of her head while she pretended to sleep. A few minutes later she heard the front door close and his driver start the car. Only then did Ivy finally open her eyes.

  Now, at last, she had time to think about what had happened the night before. She’d been mystified as she’d driven home from Hampstead. Perversely, she’d felt cheated by Rosa’s absence, but it was clear that Rosa lived there and that Danny was a regular visitor. He was definitely playing happy families in that house, and Ivy was determined to get to the bottom of it.

  Suddenly, Ivy sat up in bed with a jolt. She’d just come up with the perfect way of doing it. She was an actress, for heaven’s sake – all she had to do was act!

  Over the years, she had perfected the art of disguise. It was essential if she was ever to go for a walk, shop or dine o
ut in peace. In the early days of her career, it had been exciting to be recognised by the public, but gradually it became a millstone, and she longed for at least occasional privacy.

  She’d also proved how little actual change was needed to fool the public and the paparazzi. It simply required the tweak of a scarf, or wearing glasses without prescription lenses, or a dark wig like the one she’d worn en route to South Africa. Most people were woefully unobservant, and Ivy sometimes managed to spend a blissful morning buying clothes, followed by lunch in town, without anyone recognising her. Now, she intended putting those skills to practical use when she next visited Hampstead.

  Ivy had a tight filming schedule for the rest of the week – unfortunately Colin was still holding her to her promise to work late if needed, so she’d be spending several evenings on the set. But it gave her time to think up a suitable role to play for visiting Rosa’s house and, in between scenes, to raid the props department for clothing to go with her new identity.

  She borrowed a selection of dresses, jackets and suits from the wardrobe department, and a box of wigs of assorted lengths and colours. Back home in the privacy of her bedroom, she tried on all the clothes, revelling in the changes she could make with just a different colour or shape of a jacket.

  She also tried on all the wigs, and was pleased to see how different she looked in each one. The red-haired wig made her look wild and tempestuous, and the long dark-haired wig instantly turned her into a sultry vamp. Last out of the box was a blonde wig, with fluffy shoulder-length hair, and when she put it on, Ivy was shocked to discover how like Rosa she looked. They had the same pale skin, and she gazed, horrified, at her reflection. Maybe this likeness was one of the reasons Danny had rekindled his relationship with Rosa – perhaps they both shared some indefinable quality that appealed to him? Angrily, Ivy pulled the wig off and threw it back in the box.