Fathers

by David J. Daniel

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  Something was prodding him. In his back. Again and again and he turned over half awake and half asleep and said, “Fuck off!” And tried to swat away the annoyance.

  “I don’t think so Douggie boy,” said a deep, gruff voice and instantly Doug’s eyes flew open and he screamed, “NO DAD, LEAVE ME ALONE!” And then he was awake and his eyes cleared and in the dim morning light he saw not his father, but another man. A large Maori man, with arms as big as Doug’s legs and he was wearing a khaki shirt and trousers. He had a fearsome face and was standing over the bed with his rifle. Doug’s rifle in his hands, pointing it at him. And Doug was astonished and afraid but he still said, “And who the hell are you?”

  And the Maori man just grinned at him and said, “Never mind who I am Douggie boy, just get on your feet and get the hell outta here, before I throw you out!”

  But Doug stayed where he was and he argued with the Maori man and said, “You can’t come in here and tell me to get out of my own house! Who do you think you are?”

  “A friend of Ellen’s and an enemy of yours,” he replied as he grabbed him by the shirtfront and lifted him off the bed with one hand. He stood towering over Doug, glaring down at him as he said, “Now get moving out of this house before I lose my temper. Move. Quick. March!”

  “Make me,” said Doug foolishly, and the man, Wiremu’s father Pera, punched him once, very hard, in the face, and Doug was asleep again. He hit the floor in a crumpled heap and Pera grabbed the back of his shirt and dragged him from the house and out the front door. He left him there while he unloaded the rifle and put it back inside just around the corner by the entrance. He then closed the door and picked up Doug, threw him over his back and walked to the nearest animal trough. He threw him in the slimy, green water, which instantly revived Doug and he sat up in the trough, coughing and spluttering. He sat there like a man sits in a bath until he caught his breath, till he stopped coughing up water and tar and phlegm, out of his lungs. Pera stood patiently over him, his large arms folded while he waited for him to recover. Finally the coughing subsided and Doug went to stand up. Pera pushed him back down in the trough. “Are you going to behave now, Douggie?” He asked.

  “Fuck off, hori!” Spat Doug.

  “I was afraid you were going to make this harder.” Pera grabbed Doug’s hair and pushed his head under the water and held it there and counted off ten seconds as he struggled in his grip. He let him up but still held onto his hair and asked again, “Are you going to behave?”

  “Get fucked!” Replied Doug and Pera held him under again, this time holding him for fifteen seconds before he let him up. Doug came up spluttering and coughing again as Pera said “Now think very carefully how you answer this because next time I’ll hold you under longer and longer until I’ll hold you under so long that you will drown. And don’t think I won’t do it, ‘cause if I had my way, I woulda done it already. You see it’s only because Ellen said not to that I haven’t killed you yet, you worthless piece of shit. So I’ll ask again Douggie boy, are you going to behave?”

  “What the fuck have I done wrong?” Whined Doug.

  “Wrong answer.” And Pera held him under for twenty seconds. He let him up and said “Whatta about now, you going to be good?”

  “Yes,” gurgled Doug and Pera lifted him out of the trough and stood him on his feet. He looked like a drowned rat. He was after all vermin. A cockroach. A soaked through dripping parasite and he stood there, a sorry dejected mess as he began to blubber and said through his tears, “Please tell me what’s happenin’ here? I really don’t know why you’re doing this to me.”

  “Do you want to go back in the trough?” Threatened Pera.

  “No, of course not. I, I, just want ta understand that’s all,” cried Doug.

  Pera growled, “All you need to understand is that you are to leave the Delaney farm and never return. If you do return I will kill you. I will not hesitate and believe me I have killed alot of men before and many that probably didn’t deserve to be killed as much as you do. So you better start walking Douggie boy or so help me God, on this very spot, right here and right now, I will tear you apart, limb from limb, with my bare hands.”

  And Doug looked at this man and he believed that he could do it, that he would do it, given the opportunity. But still he persisted. “Okay, okay, I’m goin’, but can I just fill a bag with somethin’ ta eat at least, pleeease? I haven’t eaten since yesterday lunch and I’m real hungry,” he pleaded.

  “No! Leave. Now. Last chance!” And he pushed him. Doug staggered back almost tripping. “Turn and walk.” Pera demanded.

  “Alright I’m goin’.” And he stumbled off down the track towards the road, with Pera close behind.

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  Pera kept following Doug out onto the road and off towards the village. Doug kept glancing over his shoulder hoping that he would be gone, that he would leave him alone, but he stayed right behind him. Doug’s shadow. His minder. A threatening presence, quashing any rash thoughts of returning to the farm. They were silent as they walked along the road until Doug couldn’t stand it any longer and he stopped and turned round and said, “How long are you going to follow me for?”

  Pera smiled and said, “All the way into town, Douggie Boy.”

  “Aw, c’mon mate, I’ve left the place, I’m not goin’ back, you don’t need to stick with me. You’ve made ya point.”

  Pera prodded him in the chest with his large finger. “Keep walking,” he said. Doug yelped a little and turned and carried on walking.

  He said, “Don’t s’pose you’ve gotta smoke on ya? Mine seem to be all wet.”

  “Don’t smoke and if I did you’d be the last person I’d give one to.”

  “Thanks for nothin’ and Merry Christmas to you too!” He was quiet for a while and then said, “Anyway whatta ya goin’ ta do once we hit town. Ya just goin’ ta leave me there and hope I don’t come back or what?”

  “I’m putting you on the train and you’re not getting off till it reaches Auckland.”

  “Ha! And are you coming with me ta make sure, are ya?” Sniggered Doug.

  “Not me Douggie, but my little brother. He works the train and he’ll do as I ask. He’ll be only too happy to look after you. Make sure you don’t get off till Auckland. Oh, and by the way, I say little when I should say younger. He’s actually bigger than me,” he chuckled.

  Doug’s shoulders sagged a little further. He said nothing as he trudged on.

  A while later Pera said, “So Douggie boy, did you fight in the war or did you manage to weasel out of it?”

  “What’s it to ya?” He mumbled.

  “Just trying to make conversation is all. You see you don’t look the type to have served his country.”

  “I served it all right, don’t you worry about that!” Snapped Doug.

  “And where was that Douggie boy, in the desert, Crete, Italy? Tell me where.”

  “I didn’t fight the Germans. I fought the Japs if you must know.”

  “Aw, yeah? Tell me about it Douggie, were you a pilot or something. Were you based at Guadalcanal or somewhere else?”

  “Somewhere else.”

  “Where?”

  “Look, will you just shut up? I’m sick of talking to ya. I’m sick of ya questions. Some of us don’t like ta talk about the war, okay? Just drop it!” Said Doug angrily.

  “I know where you were stationed, Doug and it wasn’t too far from here was it?”

  “I dunno what ya talkin’ about,” murmured Doug.

  “Sure you do Douggie, you see you were with my brother. My brother who now works on the trains. Kahu’s his name. You might remember him? He was a guard at Wakeford Prisoner of War Camp, the same time as you were.”

  Doug stopped. He turned and stared at Pera, his lips were moving but no sounds came from his mouth. The
colour drained from his face. He closed his eyes and then he just sort of folded up and slumped to the ground. He sat there with his head in his hands, a defeated sorry sight. A pile of dirty laundry dropped in the middle of the road. Pera continued speaking. “I only put all this together last night. You see my brother told me all about you a while back. Not long after I got back from the war I met up with him. He told me about a guard he used to work with. A person everyone hated. The guards and the prisoners. He told me what you were like, that you loved to beat the prisoners and stir them up as often as you good. Got a real kick out of it. Made everyone’s job harder. Made the Jap’s lives miserable. Then you really overstepped the mark. He told me that you eventually got dismissed for putting glass in their food and how they were all pleased to see you go. They couldn’t prove it though, and you got away scot free. Never got charged with anything. But Kahu said everyone knew it was you. The guards, the prisoners and the Commandant. Of course I didn’t know your name then, didn’t need to know. Kahu might’ve mentioned it but I didn’t remember. Even when Ellen and Jack told me about how you’d made their life hell I still didn’t have reason to think you were the same guard that Kahu had talked about. Why would I? No, it was only last night I found out. When I managed to phone my brother from Willie Rasch’s store and asked him to escort a Doug Brown to Auckland. That’s when my brother said that that was the same name of the guard that he used to work with, and he wondered if it could possibly be the same person. I said it had to be, and I was right. He described you to me over the phone and well, you’re a perfect match, Douggie boy. Or should I call you Akuma? I hear that was the nickname given to you by the Japs.”

  Doug thought about the Jap he killed in the bush and wondered if he knew anything about that. He wasn’t even sure that Jack knew about the killing, so probably not. Even if Jack did know, he didn’t think he would go telling anyone in case they asked too many questions about his own involvement, with an escaped Jap prisoner. So, he felt safe on that one, and who really cares what this hori knew or didn’t know about his time in Wakeford Prison. Nothing was ever proved and he still served his country, someone had to look after those enemy prisoners. Besides, there was a good reason he couldn’t go to war like the rest of his countrymen and what the hell, I’ll tell him all about it. He looked up and said, “Alright, you got me. Big deal, whatta ya want me to say? That I’m sorry for what I did back then? I hated those bastards just like everyone did. I couldn’t give a stuff about them. They were the enemy and they deserved everything they got. Look, I wanted to go to war just like you and the rest of them and do my bit, but I couldn’t and I’ll show you why.” And he removed his left boot , took off his sock and lifted up his foot. Pera recoiled from the smell but then he looked at it. All the toes were missing from the foot. All that was left there were little red knobs where the toes should’ve been. Pera lifted his eyebrows in acknowledgement and said “Put your boot back on, you’re polluting the air.”

  Doug pulled on his boot and said, “But you see it, don’t you? I wanted to fight but they wouldn’t let me, said I couldn’t with my foot the way it is. That I wouldn’t be able to march or walk prop’ly”

  Which wasn’t true at all, he played on the injury, limped into the recruiting office and told the Doctor examining him that it constantly throbbed, that he was in pain twenty four hours a day and did he have something else for him to do.

  “Yeah, whatever Douggie. Looks like you’re walking fine to me. Get on your feet and let’s keep moving.” Hone reached down and dragged him to his feet. He turned him around and pushed him on his way.

  “Don’t you wanna know how I lost my toes?” Said Doug as they walked along.

  “Not really, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

  “An accident, when I was just a kid, chopped them off when I swung at some wood and missed. Chopped right through the boot and took them off clean.”

  But it wasn’t an accident. Doug had done it on purpose. He’d done it so that his father would leave him alone. Not only would he get time in hospital away from him but also, he could use it as a threat. A threat to his father that if he kept touching him, if he kept abusing him he would keep hurting himself. He was hoping that this would shock his father, would make him see that what he was doing wasn’t right. That he would stop his kind of love and that he would show Doug the right kind of love. The love that normal fathers show. The love that protects their son; that cares about their child and ensures no harm comes to them. And it worked, but only for a while, and then it all started up again. So young Doug turned his thoughts to harming his father instead. To killing him. And he waited, patiently, until the time was right. “So you see,” Doug continued. “I ended up at Wakeford Prison, as a guard. Wasn’t my choice, but there you are.”

  “And you enjoyed every minute of it, I bet.”

  “It was okay. Look the others were soft. Someone had to teach them a lesson. Look what they were doing to their prisoners. The Japs tortured and killed their prisoners of war. Our boys! What they got here was a five star motel. Someone had to even the score.”

  Pera scoffed, “And you were just the man for the job weren’t you? You vindictive swine. And then when you were booted out of there you found the Delaney’s and your torture and persecution carried on didn’t it?”

  “Of course it didn’t!” Doug protested. He stopped and turned to face Pera. Pera grabbed his arms and spun him back around and gave him a hefty shove in the back.

  “Keep moving!” He ordered.

  Doug walked but continued his protest. “I saved that farm. I got it back up and running and made it productive again. I put in alot of work. Alot of work! And the thanks I get for it is to be thrown out and accused of hurting poor Ellen. I loved her for God sake, why would I hurt her? She even carried my baby inside her!” His arms were thrown up in the air and his head shook back and forth with unfairness of it all.

  “Yeah, she carried your baby until you kicked it out of her. You’re nothing but a filthy maggot. A worm that should be crushed beneath the sole of a shoe!” He spat.

  “Is that what she told ya? I don’t believe it!” Doug said, as he shook his head again. “I wanted that baby. It was my idea to have children. She got rid of it herself. To get back at me. She’s the one that should be thrown outta here. She’s the one that should be punished. I never laid a finger on her. SHE’S LYING!” His voice got louder and louder and more hysterical until he was screaming.

  Pera punched him again. Hit him in the back of the head where the skull meets the neck, not too hard, just enough to drop him again and to calm him down. He stood with his boot on top of Doug’s head and pushed his head into the road; grinding his face into the gravel and dust holding it there as he said, “That’s enough. I don’t wanna hear any more out of you. I have known the Delaney family for a long time now and that includes Ellen’s husband too. I fought with him in Italy and he was a good man. He died and was buried over there and he did that so that scum like you could carry on living your worthless life in a peaceful world. Now, let me tell you that Ellen has been nothing but a good neighbour, a good mother and a good friend and person, all her life, and that’s a fact. What’s not a fact, and is plainly bullshit, is what’s spewing out of your mouth like bile, and if you don’t keep your filthy lies to yourself, I’m just going to have to rip that tongue outta your mouth, and feed it to the eels. Do you understand? A nod will do, ‘cause I sure don’t wanna hear your voice again.” And he took his foot off his head and Doug nodded cagily and then stood and turned and stumbled towards Putumu, without being told.

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  The train rumbled into the station. A Ka locomotive, black and red and streamlined. Still running on coal, soon to be converted to oil. It pulled up to the platform with a loud hiss of steam and a belching of black smoke. It was loaded with timber having just come up the siding from the sawmill. Wagon after wagon loaded
up to the hilt disappeared around the corner and out of sight. The last carriage possibly still at the mill. An iron behemoth bound for Auckland. Pera’s brother Kahu climbed down from the tender behind the locomotive. He carried with him the shovel used to load coal into the furnace. He was a large man, more fat than muscle, which was the reason he didn’t go to war. The reason he was a prison guard and not a soldier, and he looked like a bigger version of his brother. Strong Polynesian features, dark hooded eyes, flat nose, large mouth full of white teeth which gleamed through his coal dusted skin as he grinned at his brother and said, “Kia Ora, Pera.” They shook hands and came together to touch noses, a hongi, the traditional Maori greeting and then when the greeting was over, he looked down at Doug sitting on the platform. “Ah, Douglas Brown we meet again,” he said as he leant on the shovel. Doug spat onto the hot asphalt and ignored Kahu.

  Pera said, “You going to be alright with him all the way to Auckland?”

  “Not a problem, brother. If he plays up he’ll go in the furnace. In fact just say the word and it’s done. No one would ever know he existed,” Kahu giggled. A high pitched sound unsuited to his large frame.

  Pera chuckled, “As much as I’d like you to do it Kahu, I’ll have to ask you to restrain yourself.” Then he added. “Only if absolutely necessary, eh?”

  Kahu winked. “Aw, alright, if he behaves himself I’ll try not to accidentally hit him on the head with the shovel and load him in.”