Ignited & Unhinged (Billionaire Secret, Book One)(Billionaire Romance, New Adult Romance, College Romance)

by Summers, Lexi

  Today seems like any other, except for the fact that when he looks up, he looks straight at me…and smiles that same mischievous smile he’d given me after the lights had come on in the closet.

  And unlike every other day, I don’t shy away from looking at him. I return the smile unconsciously…and then blush so deep I must look sunburned.

  After what seems like an eternity that leaves me breathless, he begins his lecture.

  Crap. Had anyone noticed? I sneak a peek to my left and then to the right. No one seems to be looking at me. No one seems to be whispering.

  Forty-five minutes later, I really hadn’t heard anything he’d said.

  Usually, I was able to keep track of the information coming out of his mouth even through my fantasies, but today all I could think about was that same mouth on my neck, devouring me.

  He moves closer to the images projected on the screen, pointing out this or that.

  I follow his hands and remember them hiking up my dress.

  I remember how close he had come to penetrating me before I had stopped him.

  This gorgeous, brilliant man who inspired fantasies and lived without inhibitions, had been aroused by me.

  But how could he view the situation as anything more than a game?

  Did that matter?

  I didn’t want more.

  I wanted him. I wanted his body. I wanted to feel what that blonde had felt. Emotions had nothing to do with it. But what about ethics?

  He’s my professor. It’s one thing to yield to the desire I feel for Damon. To not care about whatever game he might be playing because my interests in that relationship were purely physical. Right?

  But could I do that with Erik? Could I risk the possible land mine of sleeping with someone who could open me up to scandal?

  Could that purely physical relationship do anything but place me in an exposed, defenseless position? Would it be worth it?

  Shit!

  I had lost myself so completely in my internal dialogue, that I hadn’t noticed everyone packing up to leave.

  Quickly, I collect my things. I hadn’t made any decisions.

  I need more time to sort through it all and I can’t get cornered.

  There are only forty people left in the room.

  There’s something at the bottom of my laptop bag that’s preventing it from sliding in smoothly.

  Thirty people.

  I reach in, it’s a pen. I remove it and secure my computer.

  Twenty.

  In my rush I drop my cell and have to reach behind the seat in front of me. Damn it’s wedged between the back of the chair and stepped floor.

  Come on.

  Got it!

  I throw it in the small compartment of my laptop bag and quickly make my way towards the door.

  Ten.

  There are still a few people behind me. I did it!

  “Ms. Roberts? A word please.” It isn’t a question.

  With a sinking feeling I turn around.

  He locks me in his gaze. I can’t look away.

  The last few people exit, leaving us alone.

  Neither of us say anything. The silence is charged.

  We are building towards something. I don’t have a coherent thought left when he looks at me like that.

  His face oscillates between a hunger that I enjoy witnessing, and an uncertainty that is less appealing.

  It appears I’m not the only one experiencing a heated internal dialogue.

  I wonder if my face mirrors his.

  And that’s the last thought I have. I’m not thinking at all anymore.

  I just want him on me, in me, any which way I can have him.

  Some part of me manages to register that I am just a couple of feet from the now closed door.

  I can leave. Can’t I?

  His face settles. He’s made a decision.

  He takes a step towards me.

  Instinctively, I take a step back.

  He stops and searches my face.

  Unconsciously, I press my lips together. His eyes move to my lips and in an instant he closes the ten foot gap. Like a Viking on a mission.

  I fall back against the wall a second before he’s on me.

  With one arm, he grabs me around the waist, with the other he grabs my face. Together they work to crush me to him.

  His lips are unrelenting.

  All the pent up sexual energy converges in this one moment.

  I move my arms around his neck, willing him to be as close as possible. It isn’t enough.

  And then he releases me.

  He runs to the door, locks it and is back on me a second later.

  I move my hands beneath his black t-shirt, I want to feel his chest and the sleek body I had longed to touch for months.

  My hands slide down his deliciously smooth abs. When they reach that V of his hips, he draws in a breath, leaving a small gap between his skin and the waist band of his jeans.

  It’s an invitation. I take it. My right hand reaches down to find his long, hard dick jutting out from his boxer briefs.

  I press my hand firmly against his head making him groan, loudly. My fingers encircle him, keeping my grip firm and flexible.

  After only a few seconds, he removes my hand and pins both arms above my head. He leans into me so I can feel his length.

  He liberates one of his hands by enclosing both of my wrists in one hand. The other travels beneath my shirt and up to my breast, he pushes the cup of my bra aside and kneads me.

  A strangled sound somewhere between a whimper and a moan bubbles up from inside me as his lips devour me.

  Then he moves that hand down my abs, to the top button of my jeans. His deft fingers release first the button and then the zipper.

  He reaches down to massage me over my panties.

  He breaks our kiss, his face is a few inches away. He’s staring deeply into my eyes.

  My breathing is out of control. He watches my face as he continues to massage me, then, with his eyes still studying me, he moves two fingers beneath my panties and thrusts into me.

  I inhale sharply. His fingers are long and powerful. He moves them with authority, claiming me. In and out, a pounding rhythm.

  I can’t imagine how his cock could feel any better.

  I free one hand from his iron grip and reach for him, stroking his generous length.

  I stare back into his eyes, enjoying my effect on him. His eyes burn with an intensity I think could consume me, but I don’t look away.

  He inserts a third finger and I lose it.

  I am all sensation.

  He continues to impale me as I stroke him.

  I reach the blinding light just as I feel him spasm. My body trembles with the force of it. My insides clench together and the waves of pleasure wash over me.

  He holds me until the waves stop and then releases me. I fall back against the wall and slide down to the floor. He follows.

  The sound of my heavy breathing reconnects me with my brain.

  Wow, just…wow.

  Holy crap, that just happened.

  Hadn’t there been something about an unresolved internal dialogue? I’m trying desperately to remember what had held me back.

  And then it comes. This situation—as pleasurable as it had the potential to be, and had just been—could leave me in a very compromising position.

  We are both sitting against the wall, leaning into each other.

  I look up into his light green eyes. They are searching me again.

  “What are you thinking?” He makes it sound like my thoughts are as interesting to him as one of his impassioned lectures on the masters.

  I let my head fall from side to side lazily. “That this can’t possibly be OK.”

  “What do you mean?” He sounds genuinely confused.

  Really?

  Wasn’t he supposed to be a genius?

  My lower lip d
rops open, “The whole you’re my professor bit? That I’ve seen you screw? That you are a part of a super-secret society we can’t talk about? That I’m spending time with someone else, also a part of that society and I have no idea what I’m doing?” I let it all spill out.

  What’s the use in holding back?

  He chuckles and lets his head fall against the wall.

  “You seemed to know what you were doing just fine.”

  He smiles down at me.

  It’s hard not to be happy.

  About the compliment and the smile.

  “And that whole sacred pedagogic relationship thing?” I raise my eyebrows questioningly.

  He shrugs in a very unconcerned way. When my face doesn’t change, he answers.

  “Giselle, learning and sex have been intertwined for millennia. The mind is the most powerful tool of pleasure we have. Paiderastia in ancient Greece was a long and sacred tradition in its own right.”

  OK. Well if the Greeks did it…

  “You mean pederasty? Wasn’t that type of relationship restricted to males?” I’m pretty sure I remember that correctly.

  “You know classic history,” he sounds impressed. “Yes, it was mostly a homoerotic relationship between males, characteristic of the Archaic and Classical periods. Still, there is a long history of sexualized pedagogic relationships.”

  I’m unconvinced. This can’t possibly OK. Maybe for him, but surely not for me.

  He reads the thoughts as they cross my face, “Is it your perception that I am in charge of your grade?”

  “What do you mean perception?” I ask.

  “Well, I hate to blow your mind,” he looks at me and with a boisterous aside adds, “any more than I already have today, but I don’t give you a grade.”

  My back straightens, coming off the wall. “Come again?”

  “Most faculty members have more important things to do than hand out grades. That’s why we have teaching assistants. The College wants us to teach, to engage in discussions with students, to be available for office hours, but they also expect us to publish and tour the country giving guest lectures.”

  He takes a breath, “We are tasked with staying at the very top of our respective fields—that doesn’t leave enough time to read through hundreds of papers and exams each semester.”

  I look away, thinking about this. “I guess that makes sense.”

  Did it change anything? Aren’t I still exposed?

  He’s trying. Trying to make me feel better. “Is it the age thing?” He takes my hand and runs a finger down the center of my palm, sending a shiver down my spine.

  “You realize I got my PhD at 23, right? I’m only 25. And in case you were wondering, there is no regulation prohibiting what we just did. As I said in my first lecture, it is our right to experience pleasure.” He leans in to kiss me.

  “Mmmmm…” I’m starting to let go again.

  Wait, pleasure…The Society.

  I break away.

  “There is still that whole sex society thing.” I think through my words, “You clearly don’t have any inhibitions…and I enjoy Damon’s company as well.” I extract my hand from his and lace my fingers together.

  I stare at my hands. “I haven’t been able to process my attraction for you both.”

  “Are you in a relationship with him?” he asks simply.

  I look up. “No, it’s just physical.”

  “Do you want to be?” He’s examining me carefully.

  I press my lips together. “No, I like things how they are…without entanglements.”

  His voice drops an octave, “Are you looking for a relationship with me?”

  “No.” I smile to myself. Remembering that first conversation with Damon after I had gone back to his room.

  His lips twitch, “What is it?”

  I look back into his eyes and with all the earnestness I had given Damon, answer him.

  “I promise, I won’t fall in love with you.”

  He draws his eyebrows together but looks amused.

  “Noted.” He narrows his eyes at me. “You are quite unique, aren’t you?”

  I don’t know what to say to Erik’s version of you’re a strange one.

  Damon.

  I still don’t know what I’m doing or how to mentally navigate between these two gorgeous men.

  I straighten my clothes and look at him again.

  “Still, I really don’t know what I’m doing here. I’m way, way out of my depth. I can’t shut off my brain,” except when I can, like just now, “I need to figure out what I think about you, Damon, The Society…”

  Another thought occurs to me. “Do you make it a habit of…engaging with students?” This idea does bother me for some reason.

  “No.”

  I scrutinize his face.

  “I don’t lie, ever,” he says simply.

  “Except about The Society,” I correct.

  “No, I’ve never lied about that. The Society is incredibly secret, when something is that secret there is never a need to lie.”

  “But what about when someone asks about your plans?” I continue.

  “When you’re out of college, people rarely go out of their way to find out about your weekend plans. If anyone asks, I respond with vague truths.”

  I don’t say anything.

  “And in case you’re wondering if my ‘no’ was just in response to your literal question of whether I make this a habit and not also a response to your implied question of whether I had ever had a sexual encounter with a student, the answer is no to both.”

  I don’t believe that. This sex god?

  Students were probably throwing themselves at him all the time. “How can that be true if you’re so big on pleasure?”

  “Students don’t really attract my attention. I’m not blind to the way a lot of the females look at me, but it doesn’t affect me.” He shrugs like it’s the most insignificant thing in the world.

  I blush as I remember all those times I had ogled him in class.

  Yeah, I’m sure I hadn’t been alone in that.

  “Then why…?” I begin.

  “You?” he finishes. He turns away. His face transforms, accessing some memory.

  “You attracted my attention that very first day. There is something about you, you’re…lit. There’s a light, a fire, passion,” he struggled to find the right words.

  “You’re different. I couldn’t help but notice you in your red dress and proper pearls.” He traces my collarbone with his fingers.

  I feel exposed as he explains his attraction. He remembered what I had worn that first day?

  My stomach drops in a way that makes me want him again.

  “And then you walked in on me at The Society…” He shakes his head. “The instant I saw you watching me, I felt a pull.”

  He looks down at me, his eyes smoldering. “I wanted to be inside of you.”

  All the blood rushes down. A shiver runs down my spine, electrifying my skin.

  After a few moments of intense staring he breaks away.

  “I had plans to go to New York this past Saturday, but when I saw you at the gallery, I couldn’t resist attending that night’s gathering.”

  We sit in silence for a minute. Or maybe five.

  I’m overwhelmed by his confessions.

  He’d gone that night just for me?

  “I still don’t know what I think,” I shrug apologetically.

  His voice is silky smooth again, like he’s casting some spell, “You needn’t worry about The Society or entanglements as you call them. This is about mutual pleasure and giving in to our most basic senses. Think about it, if you must, or just let yourself go.”

  Why is that so hard?

  Wait…I went from complete virgin to honorary secret sex society member to hot classroom sex in 2.5 seconds.

  I was doing pretty well in the let yourself go department.

>   So what if I need some time and space to wrap my head around all this mind-blowing pleasure?

  So what if my brain needs to catch up with my body?

  My life, my rules. This small revelation temporarily frees me.

  “I’ll think about it,” I sound in control, rational.

  Finally, some mental clarity.

  He fixes his eyes on me.

  His voice is deep, seductive, “You know you can have us both, if you want.”

  Whoa.

  My insides start to vibrate again.

  I need to get out of here or I’m going to lose my mental clarity.

  Must hold on.

  I stand, make sure my clothes are in place, and grab my bag.

  “Uhuh, OK, I’ll think about that.” All semblance of control leaving my voice.

  I glimpse his face one last time as I go through the door.

  He’s sitting on the floor, completely amused and still…hungry.

  CHAPTER 20 Billionaire Secret: There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

  The next week and a half pass quickly.

  I hadn’t seen Erik since that Monday encounter. The course schedule called for two outside lecturers, and the class after that had fallen on a holiday.

  Damon had kept his promise to give me space and had gone radio silent, even refraining from his flirty texts.

  I was starting to think that Damon’s silence meant he was no longer interested, and that my attraction for two gorgeous men, and resulting mental confusion, was now irrelevant.

  I focused on my classwork and all the other social possibilities that didn’t include a secret sex society.

  There were Thai food study breaks, visiting SNL comedians to see, an SE sponsored dinner with a couple of female astronauts, and a whole host of other activities I wasn’t sure existed outside these ivy-covered halls.

  I had also gone to a few ballroom dance team practices. They were intense, but the challenge made it all the more appealing.

  I had another week to decide whether I wanted to dance competitively with the team, although I was pretty sure I was going to give it a try.

  Still, with all the activities and schoolwork and men, our suite made it a point to go out and have fun just for the sake of it.

  Tonight was the weekly indie concert at Newt’s, one of the night club staples at The College.