Alexis: In love with a rockstar (The Hamptons Series Book 2)

by Drucie Anne Taylor

  “We all noticed that, and we all warned her,” Azer’s voice pipes up.

  “Why don’t you try being a little more sensitive, dude?” Gavin replies, sounding annoyed.

  “. I’m just being honest and putting into words what we’ve all been thinking,” he defends himself.

  “Let’s go into one of the bedrooms so we can talk in private, if you’re up for it,” Madeleine suggests and places her hand on mine.

  I nod quietly, we get up, and she leads me into one of the back rooms.

  “Let me know when you’re doing it so I can watch!” Azer yells, and then we hear a smacking sound. “Fuck, dude, what was that for?”

  “Make a move on my girlfriend and I’ll tear you to pieces, dude,” Gavin replies with a laugh.

  Azer mumbles something which makes them all laugh.

  Madeleine closes the door behind us. “Sit down, Honor.”

  I sit down on the bed and follow her with my eyes as she sits down next to me. “I’m fine.”

  “I can see that you’re close to tears, honey.”

  I shake my head. “I guess I’ve just developed deeper feelings for him, but he obviously hasn’t noticed that. Alexis has been avoiding me again for days, and I don’t even know why.”

  “Because he just isn’t the type for a sustained relationship. I know it hurts to realize that, but you can count yourself lucky that you haven’t fallen for him completely.”

  “I haven’t fallen for him.”

  “That’s good then. The others didn’t want to harass you when they warned you not to start anything with him. He’s–“

  “An asshole.”

  “Special, I was going to say. He keeps insisting that he’s not into relationships, but he’s an amazing friend.”

  That very moment, we can hear Charlotte screaming: “Oh my god, Alexis!”

  I feel as if someone’s choking me. “Sounds as if he’s amazing in bed, too.”

  “I’ve never had that experience, and I don’t want to know. I’m perfectly fine with the experiences I’ve had with Gavin,” she smirks.

  “You don’t have sex anymore?” I ask, confused by that last sentence.

  “And those I will have in the future,” she adds.

  I sniffle and press my lips together, but I can no longer hold back my tears. “I should have known that he would hurt me.”

  She gathers me in her arms and strokes my back. “Don’t waste your tears on him. He’s not worth it.”

  “I know, but I can’t stop right now,” I reply with a sniffle.

  “I understand. The same thing happened a few times last year.”

  “Did he really fuck and dump that many women?” My body is shaking, and I know that this tour will be like running the gauntlet day after day. I wish I could take a homebound plane as soon as we’ve landed in Japan.

  “A few, but I didn’t keep count. I believe that he’s trying to compensate for his loneliness, but we all thought that it might be different with you.”

  “Huh? What do you mean?”

  “We thought that he genuinely liked you, and that he would … choose you. He looked at you in a way that Linden claims he only ever did with his ex-girlfriend.”

  My crying becomes more desperate.

  “I guess it was a bad idea to tell you that,” she says with a sigh.

  “It’s okay.” My voice cracks and I have a hard time breathing. I wonder what’s wrong with me.

  “And we all saw what your feelings for him were.” Madeleine is really nice, but right now she’s pouring salt into my wounds by the bucket. I know she doesn’t mean it though.

  “Could you … stop, please?”

  “Stop what?” she asks, confused.

  “Stop telling me … that … you all knew … and all that,” I stammer between sobs and hiccups.

  “Oh fuck, I’m sorry.”

  “Oh yes, that’s the spot, Alexis,” Charlotte squeals again.

  “I’m going to kill him when he comes out of that bedroom,” she growls before putting her hands over my ears in a gesture of protectiveness.

  I like her; she’s an affectionate, considerate person. And I think it’s endearing that she wants to berate Alexis for his tactless behavior. “I don’t think I’ll be leaving this room before we land in Japan.”

  “You don’t have to. If you want me to, I’ll stay with you so you’ve got company.”

  “Thank you, Madeleine.”

  “Call me Lane, and you’re welcome, Honor. With this bunch of dudes around, women need to stick together.”

  I force a smile for her sake, even though my tears are still falling. My eyes sting, my head aches, and I desperately want to sleep, but her company can only do me good. No room for idle, stupid ideas in my head.

  Alexis

  I’m a swine. A stupid, fucked-up swine! Charlotte was supposed to be a means to an end, but now I’m afraid she’s going to be damn clingy. Not to mention the way she screamed. It was horrible, a pain in the ass for any man who isn’t deaf. She snuggles up to me, and that is the straw that breaks this camel’s back. “You should get dressed, kiddo.”

  She lifts her head and looks at me through the curtain of her hair falling into her face. “Excuse me?”

  “Get dressed and get out.”

  “Are you kidding me? For days, you’ve made eyes at me, and now that you’ve got what you wanted, you’re throwing me out?” She snaps at me.

  “Yes, exactly. Get out.” I pull away from her, stand from the bed, and pick up my clothes. When Honor and I got down to business, we flung our stuff every which way across the room, impatient to get it on, but with Charlotte I had a hard time even getting it up at all. And now I don’t even feel nice and relaxed, but instead like a piece of crap. Why? Because it feels as if I’ve cheated on Honor. I hate myself. I only ever realize what I truly feel when it’s too late, when I screwed up completely. It was hard to stay away from Honor, and I felt that if I fucked Charlotte, I would feel normal again, but no such luck; I’m feeling much worse than before.

  “Don’t ever touch me again, Lex!”

  “My name is Alexis,” I reply.

  “But everyone else calls you Lex.”

  “Because they’re my friends, while you’re my employee.” My voice sounds harsher than I had meant it to.

  “Oh, okay. Let’s call you asshole from now on then,” she rants as she wiggles back into her tight jeans.

  “Thanks, I’ve heard that nickname before, and it doesn’t bother me at all.” I put on my shirt and walk to the door. “Are you about done here?”

  “Don’t rush me!” She puts her top on, then her jacket, and then steps right in front of me. “It wasn’t that good.”

  “Your screams told me I was good enough,” I counter, give her a wink, and open the door. I freeze.

  Honor is standing there, her eyes blurry with tears. She doesn’t step aside when Charlotte tries to walk past her. She squeezes past, almost knocking Honor off balance.

  I steady her with my arms. “Are you okay?”

  “Why?” she asks in a small, scratchy voice. “Why did you do that?”

  I glance at my friends, who all glare at me from their front seats, but then I simply pick Honor up, and carry her into the third and last bedroom. I set her down gently on the bed. “Do you really want to know?”

  She nods slowly.

  “People like me shouldn’t take advantage of people they really like,” I start.

  “So you don’t like me, and you took advantage of me,” she whispers and stares vacantly into the distance.

  “I do like you, and I didn’t take advantage of you. I took advantage of her. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Too late.”

  Her quiet words are like hot knives stabbing into my heart. I hurt her. All those weeks, I was pondering how to accomplish that, how to drive her away, and now that I’ve done it, I feel like the worst fucker on the entire planet. “You should stay away from me, Honor. I’m not g
ood for you, even though you were good for me.”

  She utters a low noise that I take as assent.

  I would pull her into my arms if I knew she wouldn’t fight me. I want to kiss her and tell her that I regret what I just did, but she wouldn’t believe me. Honor would know that I only say that to make her feel better.

  She sniffles. “I’m such a stupid cow … I fell in love with you.” Her tears fall freely again now.

  I swallow. “That was exactly what we didn’t mean to happen. I like you so much, but I cannot love anyone, because I don’t even love myself. You deserve someone better.”

  “And I still wanted the one who hurt me the most.” She wipes the tears from her cheeks. “Just leave me be. Leave me alone.”

  I nod and get up, leave the room.

  “There you are, asshole of the month,” Lane greets me cantankerously.

  “Mind your own business,” I reply as I sit down right in their middle.

  “Was that really necessary?” Linden growls, giving me a dark look.

  “Guys, it’s my own fucking business.”

  “Nope. If Honor quits because of your bullshit, it becomes our business,” Azer reminds me.

  Gavin looks up from the book he’s been reading and gives me a skeptical look. “I told you from the beginning that you should finally start listening to your heart, but you chose to ignore me. Now you have to live with her accusations.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “And you choose to play Switzerland and act all neutral?”

  “No, I think you’re an asshole, but I’m not going to interfere.”

  “Why, thank you.”

  “You deserve it. Count yourself lucky if I don’t bust your ass, Mister. If Gavin wasn’t holding me in his arms, I’d be slapping you senseless right now,” Lane grumbles darkly.

  I cluck my tongue and shake my head, before picking up my guitar. “Just let me live my own life.”

  “Then stop screwing our employees!” Linden barks at me.

  If I hadn’t known him forever, I wouldn’t put up with that. He is the only person however, who has kind of the right to talk to me like that. I make an indistinct noise of assent.

  “Wonderful. And stay away from Honor.”

  “She told me to leave her alone,” I reply.

  Linden sighs. “So she finally saw reason.”

  “Better late than never,” Azer chimes in.

  I get up, walk down the aisle, and sit down in a seat further in the back. This exchange was a harmless one. I’m afraid it will only get worse once we’re traveling on the tour bus. There’s no chance of avoiding people on a bus. It’s going to be hell on my conscience.

  Honor

  The plane landed, and I managed to get up, fetch my luggage and walk to the door. Alexis is standing in front of me talking to Jayden, who keeps glancing in my direction. I lower my eyes when I can’t stand it anymore. All I want is to get to the hotel, lie down in my room, and never wake up again. At least not for the next twelve hours. It’s already dark here. I didn’t check the clock on board, which automatically adjusts to each new time zone. I’m exhausted, which is no surprise after such a long flight.

  “Is everything okay, Honor?” Lane asks softly.

  I nod hectically. “I’m just tired.” And not in the mood for a conversation right now.

  We get off the plane, and Lane steers me towards one of the cars waiting for us. “Get in there. That way you don’t have to sit in the same car as Alexis.”

  “Okay.” I get into the backseat she has taken my bags from me. I buckle my seatbelt and put my forehead against the cool window, closing my eyes. I had meant to see Osaka, but now I’m no longer interested, and the bright, colorful lights are hurting my eyes.

  She gets in next to me, and then Gavin and Azer join us.

  “How is she holding up?” Azer inquires.

  “I think she’s doing okay.”

  “I’ll survive. This is nothing I can’t handle with a few shots of tequila,” I interrupt.

  “I personally prefer strawberry schnapps, but I doubt that we can get either of the two over here,” Lane smirks.

  “You will have to make do with sake,” Gavin chimes in.

  “I think first of all I want a couple of hours of sleep, once we’re at the hotel.”

  Azer nods when I look at him. “That’s probably a good idea. Plus, you could always raid the minibar.”

  “I probably will.”

  The car starts moving as soon as Linden has gotten in. “Lex is wedged in between Joel and Jayden in the other car; I bet they’re busting his ass right now.” He sounds amused, even satisfied, that his best friend is in trouble, and even I feel a strange kind of satisfaction at the thought.

  ***

  I’m sitting in my hotel room, one floor down from the guys’ rooms. I’m glad that I got a room of my own, even if Charlotte is staying in the one next to mine. I asked the maid to give me earplugs, to block out the noise, just in case Alexis and her should get it on again. My phone isn’t working, and I don’t know why. I can’t even check my Facebook, and I don’t seem to get any service. I can’t simply call Micah or Krys from the hotel phone, because that would cost a fortune. Maybe I can find out how to log into the hotel’s Wi-Fi, and then text them using Skype. That shouldn’t be a problem. I take out my laptop and log on, after it has booted.

  I click on the Skype icon and check what time it is in New York right now. They are fourteen hours behind. I’m happy to see that Krys is online. I click the video call option, hoping she’s ready to chat with me.

  “Hey, honey … Oh my God, what happened?”

  “Hey, I don’t feel good,” I answer, and again the tears start flowing without permission. I tell her everything that went down during the flight, and I see her face harden, until she ends up banging her fist on the table.

  “What an asshole. Why did he do that?”

  “He said that someone like him shouldn’t start anything with a person he likes …” I recount our brief conversation in detail, even as my voice continues to crack while I do so. I can’t help it; it simply hurts like hell. Alexis hurt me as badly as my ex did. “Why do I always have to end up with men who aren’t sincere?”

  Krys makes a face. “I’m sorry, honey, I don’t know. Maybe you should’ve told him earlier that you were falling for him. It would have still been hurtful if he had rebuffed you then, but not as bad as it is now.”

  I nod slowly. “I know, and I didn’t even want to fall in love.”

  “The heart is a curious muscle, and you can’t choose whom it’s going to beat for.”

  “I just want this terrible pain to stop. I keep crying, and it’s driving me crazy.”

  “I can only promise you that the world’s already gonna look a little bit brighter come tomorrow.”

  “I sure hope so. I’m going to raid the minibar now, and I’m going to drink myself into a stupor, so I can calm down and maybe get some sleep,” I announce, forcing a smile.

  She laughs. “Atta girl. Don’t let it drag you down, and call me again when you feel better, okay?”

  I nod. “Will do.”

  “I gotta go now, sorry. The Broadway people finally called me back. I got a call-back for the final selection, so it’s all or nothing now.”

  “I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you. Let me know how it went, okay?”

  “You got it. Keep your head high, girl, and consider yourself hugged.”

  “I’ll try, Krys.” I sent her a kiss emoticon before logging off again. Then I take a look at the contents of the minibar and select two tiny bottles of vodka. I hope that the equivalent of two shots will steady my nerves and calm me down enough to make sure I can fall asleep.

  Chapter 12

  Three weeks later

  I made it through eighteen of twenty-two concerts. Today, we arrived in Hong Kong, where the final four concerts will take place. We’re sitting in yet another bus, since the way from the airport to the hotel is pretty far. I
stare out the window, looking at the buildings we pass, and I’m glad that the end of this tour is in sight. I’m looking forward to going back to my old life, and I hope I’ll get back to feeling normal after a while. It still hurts like crazy. Which is no surprise, because I see Alexis every day. It doesn’t seem to bother him at all that he hurt me. He acts as if nothing ever happened, but he looks pale again, drained and exhausted. Maybe that’s due to the quick succession of gigs that have taken place in the last three weeks. The others seem almost as tired as he looks. I feel normal, except for the fact that there’s a hole in my heart, an ache in my chest, and tears in my eyes as soon as I hear a ballad.

  “Hey. You okay?” Mike asks as he sits down next to me.

  I nod slowly. “You?”

  “I’m tired, but apart from that, yes. I’ll be okay as soon as we reach the hotel and I can stumble into bed,” he says with a smile.

  “Yeah, I’m looking forward to hiding in my room until the next concert, too.”

  He snorts. “Is it still that bad?”

  “Yes, but I’ll survive. It’s going to get better when I don’t have to see him all the time.” I put my head on Mike’s shoulder and close my eyes. “I keep dreaming of him.”

  “Uh, that’s not good.”

  “I haven’t even done any sightseeing, because I was glad for every few hours I could spend without him close by.”

  “That’s a shame though. Why don’t we explore at least this city together? You and I, later today or maybe tomorrow? The concert is two days away, so we still have a lot of free time left once we’ve got the sound check over with.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Maybe Linden and Azer want to join us, but we’re leaving Madeleine and Gavin out of it, so you don’t have to see happy couples all the time. And we don’t mention it to Lex at all.”

  My lips curve into a grateful smile. Mike puts his hand on mine. I like him, in a totally non-sexual way, because he was there for me, ready to listen when I felt awful. I’m still suffering, but not as bad as I did three weeks ago. It hurts to look at Alexis, and it hurts to know that my feelings cannot be turned on and off by pure will, but I need to bear all of this if I want to keep this job, which I do.