Breaking Gravity (Fall Back Series #2)

by Autumn Grey

Once I’m seated inside my car, I roll down the window, letting the cool air wash over my face. I dig out my phone from inside my bag and quickly type a text to Amber letting her know what’s going on and that we’ll talk when I get back to Jacksonville. Then I type another to Nate informing him that I have to leave town and will call him later.

  When I’m calm enough to drive, I start the car and pull away from the parking spot.

  BY THE TIME I ARRIVE in Willow Hill, my stomach is wrought with nerves. Once I was on the road, I called Elise to find out more information about what was going on. She had slept over at Nor’s house to help with the kids, so she was right in the middle of everything that had been happening. Cole was already in the hospital visiting his brother.

  When I arrive at the hospital, I rush inside and only slow down when I reach the waiting area. I take in the scene before me. No one has to tell me what is going on. I can see it in their faces that death finally won the war.

  Elise runs toward me with her arms open and pulls me into a tight hug.

  “He is gone,” she whispers into my neck in a broken voice. “Josh is gone.”

  I hug her tighter, letting the tears I’ve been holding back the past few hours fall. I’m not sure if I’m sad or relieved that he is gone. He was in so much pain for so long, and the only thing that made it bearable for him was the pain medication.

  Each day, he’d wake up and ask if Cole had finally returned home.

  Each day, his face would fall when he realized his brother wasn’t coming home, but he’d wipe the disappointment clean off his face and put on a front for everyone, especially Cora and Joce. I guess now that Cole made it home to see him, Josh found the much-needed peace he had been waiting for. So I guess I’m relieved he’s in a better place.

  At least I hope he is. He was always cheerful and tried to make everyone laugh no matter how much pain he was going through. The thought of never seeing Josh again is like a punch to my gut, and his death leaves a huge hole in our hearts and lives. He will be missed and remembered for being such a wonderful husband, brother and son.

  My thoughts are cut off when Nor stumbles out of a pair of sliding doors that lead to the ICU, with Cole in tow carrying the twins in his arms.

  I break into a sob as I rush toward them. I hug Nor first, who literally collapses in my arms, sobbing like her body is breaking. We hold each other until she pulls away, wiping her cheeks with the back of her scarred forearm. Then, I turn to Cole, tears streaming down my face as I take him in. He’s no longer the boy that left town nine years ago, thinking that his girlfriend and brother betrayed him. Instead, I’m looking into the face of a man ridden with guilt and loss. And from the way his eyes stray toward my sister, he never stopped loving Nor.

  He lowers Joce and Cora to the floor before bridging the distance between us and pulling me into a tight hug. His shoulders shake with silent sobs as his tears soak my shirt.

  When he finally steps back, I sign, “It’s good to see you, Cole.”

  He flashes me a sad smile that doesn’t reach his blood-shot eyes. “A little too damn late.”

  When Cole was five years old, he had bacterial meningitis, which led to hearing loss. His life changed after that, and he has been communicating through ASL ever since.

  We break our stare and he steps around a chair, walking over to where his parents, Ben and Maggie, are huddled together. Maggie tells me that Nick went to the chapel and he will be back soon. Minutes later, Nick comes running through the hospital doors, his eyes widening when he sees Cole’s stricken face. Then we’re all crying quietly as they embrace each other. Then Nick pulls back and scans the room. The second his gaze lands on me, his face tightens with anger, but it disappears just as fast. He barrels toward me and snatches me in a hug. I bury my face into his chest and cry for Josh. For Nick’s friendship, which I feel like I’ve lost. I miss him so much, and the fact that he put aside our differences at this time of grief makes me love him even more.

  After we pull apart, I join Nor, Elise and the twins on the couch, then I quickly check my phone, which had been pinging the entire way home. But I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to speak to anyone without breaking down.

  Ten missed calls from Nate and almost the same number of texts from Amber.

  I toss the phone back inside my bag without answering any of them and turn my attention to my family, making a mental note to return their calls when I get home.

  Later on, after we are allowed to pay our respects, I head to the chapel in the hospital and light a candle for Josh.

  He deserves more than a candle. He deserves a bonfire for being brave and selfless.

  I’m lying in bed after dinner, when my phone vibrates. I tap the pause button on the music player on my phone when I see Mr. Scowly flashing on the screen.

  Warmth spreads all over me, just knowing that he is on the other side of that incoming call.

  I answer the call on the fifth ring, a huge smile on my face.

  “Nate,” I whisper, scooting down on the bed.

  “Hey. I got your message. What’s going on? Are you all right?”

  I look up at the ceiling and blink quickly to clear my vision. “Not really.” I sniff and wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand. “I feel like my heart is bleeding on the inside. So much pain.”

  His sigh travels across the line, sending shivers down my spine. “Are you going to be okay?

  “Not for a while.”

  “I wish I could hold you. Comfort you,” he says in a tortured voice.

  I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand, then sniff. “I’d love that.”

  Silence falls between us, but it’s not a bad silence. I know how weird this is. I sense that this is more than just him checking on me. There’s a long pause, and I hear Sinatra playing in the background.

  We remain quiet. There are no words exchanged between Sinatra crooning the end of “Witchcraft” and Coldplay picking up. I snuggle deeper into the comforter as the lyrics of “Fix You” trail across the line.

  “It’s almost ten o’clock. You should get some sleep,” I say giving him an out.

  “I’m not good at obeying orders,” he says. “Besides, sleeping is overrated.”

  “Insomnia?” I joke.

  He’s quiet for a few seconds before he exhales. “Yes.”

  I bite my lips between my teeth, wondering how far or deep this conversation is allowed to go. He called me. That should be some kind of green light to ask questions, right?

  “Why?”

  Nate doesn’t answer. I pull the phone from my ear to check if the connection is still there.

  It is.

  “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

  “This is not about me. Tell me about your brother-in-law. This might be the only time I get to speak to you.”

  I know what he means, and sadness cloaks me. I shake it off and focus on now.

  “Josh?” He makes this sound in his throat in confirmation; it’s sexy. “He was a hero.”

  “Was?”

  I nod, tears once again stinging my eyes. I let them fall down freely.

  “Yes. He died earlier on today.”

  “I’m sorry, Elon.”

  I sob quietly into the phone and he listens to my silent cries, never cutting me off or talking. Just letting me be. Then when my tears dry, I tell him about Josh and Cole. I’m not sure what it is about him that makes me open up like this, but I can’t stop myself. When I’m finally done, I lay back on the bed, my eyes drooping closed.

  “Elon?” he calls out softly, and my eyes bounce back open.

  “I’m here.”

  “Get some sleep. I want you to do me a favor.”

  I cover my mouth to stop the yawn threatening to drug me with sleep. “Sure.”

  “Keep the line open. I want to hear you.” He sighs. “It might be my only chance to ever hear you breathe while you snore.”

  I laugh abruptly, caught off-guard by his words. “You’re
weird.”

  He chuckles, and I hear something rustling on the other side of the phone. I imagine him sliding his long, toned legs beneath his sheets, and I sigh and curl on my side.

  “Would you prefer if I said I wanted to hear you breathe?”

  I snort then giggle. “That’s just creepy.”

  He laughs. “I know. Just humor me.”

  I lay the phone down on the pillow and pull the blanket up to my shoulders and bring my knees up to my chin. He’s humming to the song playing in the background now.

  “Which song is that?” I ask sleepily.

  “’You Got What I Need’ by Joshua Radin,” he says in an intimate voice that has me rubbing my thighs together in need.

  “You have an eclectic collection over there.”

  He chuckles and murmurs in a low voice, “Sleep, Little Wolf.” Then he continues humming, setting my soul on fire.

  Giving me the peace I crave right this second.

  IT’S BEEN FIVE DAYS SINCE Josh passed away. The mood around the house is subdued. I returned to Jacksonville two days after his death in desperate need of diversion. One day later I was in my car, driving back to Willow Hill. I couldn’t stay away from my family, which is why I’m sitting with Nor and the twins in the living room, knitting up a storm. This is something Joce and I do whenever I’m in Willow Hill. Cora is more interested in painting, which is what she’s doing right now at the desk in the corner of the living room.

  My phone starts to ring, and I see Amber’s name flashing on the screen. As soon as I answer the call, she demands, “I know this is probably not the right time but oh my God, girl. I’m dying over here.”

  I laugh at her dramatic tone, causing Nor to look at me. We’ve been talking every day, and she never even once asked me about Nate. I love her for giving me the time and space I needed to mourn Josh without pressuring me about the details of my love life.

  “Give me a minute.” I prop the phone between my shoulder and ear, then gather the knitting project I’ve been working on with Joce and put it inside the basket at my feet. Then, I head to my room and climb on the bed.

  “Once upon a time,” I start, bracing my shoulders on the headboard.

  Amber squeals on the other side of the phone. “This is going to be good.”

  Then, I start from the beginning and tell Amber about Professor Rowe and me. When I’m done, I inhale a deep breath. “Aren’t you going to lecture me on the hazards of dating my professor?”

  “I could, but I won’t,” she says after a few moments of silence. “You know what will happen if this gets out and. . . ” she trails off with a sigh.

  “Yes, I do,” I tell her. “I wish I didn’t feel this way. I wish it was someone else. . . like Nick.”

  “A heart wants what it wants,” is her answer. “Just be careful, okay?”

  “I will. Thank you for being cool about this. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  She sighs. “You’re stuck with me, E. But you know Nor is going to freak if she finds out,” Amber whispers, as if she’s afraid of being heard.

  I pull my legs up and rest my chin on my knees. “God, don’t even say that. She’d skin me alive if she knew.”

  “Are you happy?” she asks quietly.

  I don’t even have to think about the answer. “Yes.”

  She inhales a deep breath, then says, “You could use a little happy in your life, babe.”

  At her words, tears spring to my eyes. I let them fall and whisper, “Thank you, Amber.”

  I deserve to be happy. What Nate and I have might be frowned upon, but he’s giving me what I need.

  Every time I see a happy couple looking at each other with so much love, I covet what they have; I want to experience that. Whenever I think about how much Josh and Cole loved and adored Nor, I yearn for someone to look at me the way they did her.

  I want someone who will treat me like I’m his Jupiter in a galaxy full of planets.

  His lucky penny.

  My phone beeps, alerting me of an incoming call. I pull it from my ear to check the screen, and my heart beats faster when I see ‘NR’ flashing.

  “Hey, um. . .he’s calling. We’ll talk later, OK?”

  “Yes! Oh, say hi to him.”

  I roll my eyes and snort-laugh. “No, I won’t.”

  “You’re no fun,” she says.

  We say our goodbyes, and I switch the calls, then slide from the headboard and flop over to my stomach on the bed.

  “Hey, lover,” I whisper. He’s been calling to check on me at least three times a day since my abrupt departure from Jacksonville.

  “Hey,” he greets in that deep voice of his, sending goosebumps all over my body. “Can you take some time away this weekend?”

  “Why?”

  “I want to take you somewhere.”

  “So mysterious,” I mutter under my breath, grinning. “Sure. When?”

  “Saturday,” he says, then gives me the address of where we should meet in Ocala.

  We chat for a few minutes before saying goodbye and hanging up.

  The rest of the day seems to drag as anticipation of where Nate wants to take me continues to build with every hour.

  By the time I slip between my sheets, I’m vibrating with the need to see him. Unlike the past few days after Josh left us, sleep seems to come easy tonight. The last thing I see before falling asleep is the memory of Nate’s eyes, looking at me with soft eyes, one side of his mouth curled up in a sexy smirk.

  I’M SITTING INSIDE THE STARBUCKS where Nate and I are supposed to meet, when I see him stride through the door. His gaze roams the room until he finds me.

  My fingers threaten to drop the paper cup when he makes his way toward me, his eyes never leaving mine.

  It feels wonderful to be the center of his attention.

  Before he sits down, he scans our surroundings carefully, then lowers himself into the seat next to mine. He slides his left hand around my knee possessively under the table but doesn’t attempt to kiss me, even though I see in his eyes how much he wants to. The heat from his touch sears through the thin material of my black stockings and I moan softly, feeling his touch everywhere, calming me, claiming me.

  “Hey,” he murmurs, sitting back in his chair. “How are you holding up?”

  “Better.”

  His gaze wanders around us again, on alert. Then his hand leaves my leg. “I’ve missed you. Class hasn’t been the same without you there.”

  My heart soars at his words, absorbing them like they are the very air I breathe. “I missed you, too. It feels good to be this close to you in public without worrying someone will see us.”

  His gaze intensifies. Different emotions flash in his eyes. He opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but stops and shakes his head as if he’s breaking free from a spell.

  “Ready to go?” he asks, and the breath trapped in my lungs rushes out as disappointment cuts through me.

  What did he want to tell me?

  “Sure,” I say, closing the book I was reading while waiting for him. I shove it inside my bag before returning my focus to him. “Where are you taking me?”

  “Patience, woman,” he says with a playful glint in his eyes, holding his hand out for me. “Come on.”

  His long, strong fingers close around mine, infusing warmth and sending shivers ricocheting all over my body. He doesn’t let go as we step into the cool February morning embraced by a sun-kissed blue sky. He guides me toward a black Wrangler with massive wheels, pulls his hand from mine to retrieve the keys from his pants pocket and unlocks the car. A beep sounds across the parking lot.

  “Is that yours?” I ask, unable to hold back my excitement.

  He glances down at me with a smirk and nods as his fingers tangle with mine again.

  “Sexy.”

  One dark brow shoots up. “Should I be jealous?”

  I giggle and say, “Someone is afraid of a little competition.”

  When we reach t
he car, he turns me around and pins me against the passenger door before taking my mouth in a skin-tingling, heart-stopping, knees-melting kiss.

  His lips leave mine, and he brushes his nose against mine. “Damn right, I am. Get your sexy ass inside the car.”

  I laugh, turning around and opening the car door when I’m suddenly hit with the fact that he drove all the way here.

  “Wait. You drove almost two hours? What about your arm?” I nibble the edge of my lip nervously, worried.

  His usually firm lips soften, and he kisses my hair before opening the door wider and pointing in the general direction of the dashboard. “It has a few adjustments.”

  He goes ahead and explains the Wrangler is an automatic, fitted with a steering spinner to give his left arm a sufficient grip. The indicators are on the left side, which allows easier access without releasing the steering wheel.

  “See? I’m covered.” He moves aside for me to jump inside the vehicle. “I usually use this car if I’m driving long distances.”

  Soon we’re pulling out of the parking lot, the silence in the car charged with a tangible energy filled with excitement and expectation. His driving speed is still steady, but I notice he stays mostly in his lane and doesn’t overtake other cars on the highway.

  He lifts his right arm in my direction but lets out a wince and drops it on his thigh.

  “Fuck,” he swears harshly under his breath.

  “Are you okay?” I ask, moving to touch his hand but stop when he flinches.

  “I’m fine,” he says in a snappish voice.

  “I could drive so you can rest,” I offer.

  Those eyes of his leave the road long enough to shoot me a scowl before facing forward again, his jaw clenched.

  I sigh and sink lower in my chair, casting subtle glances at his prominent side profile.

  We drive in uncomfortable silence for almost ten minutes. I squirm, unable to bear the tension any longer, inhale deeply and take his hand in mine. He sucks in a sharp breath but doesn’t pull away. I can feel his gaze on me, but I don’t look at him.

  Gently, I unfold his fingers from the loose fist and attempt to massage his fingers in light movements, starting at the center of his palm to the tip of each finger. They twitch a little followed by light spasms traveling up his arm, but other than that, he seems to be relaxing under my touch.