Drowning (Tears of Sin Series)

by Rachel Firasek

  “Just putting big bro in his right place.” Gabe flicks a hand out and thumps me.

  While I’m pulling my left nut out of my ear, I hear them high-five each other. Evidently, my ass was even less popular with my band than I thought. I’ve been so cranky with all the fights with my dad that I’ve been a total dick to them. These are my friends. Deacon and Evan are just as close to me as Gabe. We’re brothers in heart, and I’d do anything for them and them for me. It’s time to get my shit straight and get focused. They counted on me to get this music gig off the ground. I couldn’t let them down.

  “No parties, Gabe. I mean it.” My voice still hasn’t dropped back to normal, but I’ll be damned if he is going to know it.

  Deacon laughs. “I told you.” He carries the food and beer into my kitchen and drops them onto the bar separating the living space. “Gabe, you have parties at your dad’s all the time. Don’t you think it might be a good idea to have some place you can go and relax?”

  Gabe flips Deacon off and snags a beer. I, in turn, yank the beer from Gabe and gift him with my very own love tap. He bends forward so fast he pops his head against the bar top and falls on his ass. Evan and Deacon hoot, and the high-pitched giggle from the door makes us all groan.

  Lilith has found us.

  “What are you guys doing?” She rotates her hips in a ridiculous sway and stops beside me, brushing her thigh against mine. “Hi, Seth. Love your new condo. Is there room for sleepovers?”

  “God, Lil, can you not be a slut for two minutes.” Gabe swallows down his beer in a few quick slugs and tosses the empty bottle in the sink. It doesn’t shatter, but I still scowl at him. He’d better get his shit together and calm the fuck down. “I’m getting after it. Tone her down before I get back.”

  Deacon watches Gabe disappear around the corner. “What crawled up his ass?”

  I shrug and follow his gaze. We still haven’t shut my door, and for some reason, my eyes keep darting to the neighbor’s place. I wonder if she’s thinking about me. If I got under her skin the way she’d somehow penetrated mine.

  “Seth, you okay?” Lilith tips up on her toes and traces a thumb across my chin. “You seem distracted.”

  I dodge her hand. “I have a lot to do.”

  “Well, that’s why I’m here. To help.” She strokes my forearm, and I inch out of her reach. Lilith is the fourth lead singer we’ve had in a year, and she’s decent. I can’t afford to piss her off. I can sing, but I don’t write songs for a male lead. Probably something to do with my fucked-up view of women.

  Gabe makes it back with a box under each arm. “Are you guys going to stand around shooting the shit or give me a hand?” He drops the boxes next to the door and turns for the next trip.

  Something is going on with Gabe. He’s normally the life the party, but today he’s full of attitude.

  “Wow, I didn’t know he was going to be this pissy.” Lil places a hand on her hip and twists her mouth into a frown.

  Worry creeps in, and I know that somehow my little brother has fucked up once again. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, last week we partied, and ever since then, he’s been a big baby.” Oh fuck.

  Deacon pats me on the shoulder and asks the questions that I can’t. “You partied?”

  I hope like hell she’s talking about beer and maybe even an all-night fuck session. My bro was known to gift the girls with a good time, but hell, if he was partying with Lilith, he may be into more than I’d thought.

  Deacon snaps a finger in the blonde’s face. “Lil?”

  “We hooked up, did some blow, and crashed. It wasn’t much, Seth. Don’t be mad at him.” She plops out her bottom lip in a pout. I’ve never wanted to hit someone so bad, but my dad raised me to never lay my hand on a woman, and I’d be damned if this trash was going to make me disrespect him like that.

  Evan and Deacon snag each of Lilith’s arms and gently prod her toward the door. “Come on, let’s go grab some things and give Seth a minute to calm down.”

  “What?” She glances from Deacon to Evan and back at me. “Are you mad? Jealous? Cause, you know the only reason I did him is because of you, right?”

  I don’t know how much more of her I can take. A deep sigh bursts from my lips, and Deacon stretches a hand around her waist. “Come on, hot stuff. Let’s help Gabe.” He tows her reluctant body toward the door and shakes his head at me. “We’ll be back up in five.”

  This is not supposed to be happening. It took me two years to convince my dad to let me have the condo and another six months to calm him down after I told him I left college to devote my time to my music. I didn’t go through all that hell so that Lilithfucking-skank-snatch could do my brother and mess with the band. No matter what, I have to keep my cool and let the two of them play this out. I have to. But when she leaves, I am taking Gabe straight to the doc to get his dick swabbed.

  It takes us about fifty trips back and forth—and a lot of bitching and groaning from Lilith—before we’re through moving me in. I want her to leave, but I can’t get rid of her without being an ass.

  Gabe hasn’t said anything else during the move, and he won’t look at me. Deacon and Evan throw their sweat stained shirts on the couch, and each grab a warm beer. The new fridge would take some time to cool down.

  Lilith lifts one of the shirts with two fingers and tosses it to the floor before slouching into the couch. “You guys are nasty.”

  Deacon belches and Evan laughs. “Good one.”

  She rolls her eyes, strumming her fingers over the leather. “So, Seth? When do we have the first practice?”

  “A week. Maybe less.” Honestly, we planned on playing later tonight, but I wasn’t ready to have her mess with me. And she would. When she sang, she liked to turn and sing directly to me. It was the most fucked-up shit ever. The guys gave me hell about it all the time. If she and Gabe are a thing, I don’t want to be in the middle of that.

  “Oh, okay. Well, just call me.”

  Gabe tosses down two more beers and still avoids my gaze. Deacon and Evan watch us, like two zebras waiting for one of the lions to strike. Deacon bolts first. “Okay, so…have you met any of the neighbors yet?”

  I meet his gaze and grin. “Yeah.”

  Gabe perks up. “That’s right. I meant to ask, dude or hottie?”

  “Girl. Maybe eighteen.” Hopefully. “I’m not sure.”

  Deacon’s eyes get all lazy and stop on me, and my cheeks heat under his gaze. He knows me better than anyone. “What’s her name?”

  I shrug.

  Deacon groans. “Dude, you didn’t get her name?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  I take a long swallow of warm beer and shake my head. “Don’t know.” Because she thought she was cute by not giving it to me, and she was.

  Gabe tosses beer number four in the sink and slurs his way through. “Was she?”

  His sloppy words kind of piss me off. “Was she what?”

  “Cute or something.”

  “I’d say more something.”

  Deacon grins. “You like her.”

  I smile and lower my gaze. “Nah.” But, she’ll definitely make life interesting around here.

  Lilith stands, boldly rushes up to me, and stops shy of crawling up my chest. She places her blazing red nails above my nipples, leaning in close. I can see a small hair starting to grow from the dark beauty mark she has over her lip. Her hair is dyed blonde, but that little black one tells me her true color. “I can make your life interesting.”

  I clasp her hands in mine and walk her backward. “I don’t share, and you’ve been with Gabe. Sorry.”

  She rocks back on her heels like I’ve hit her. Her eyes get squinty in that way a woman’s do before she’ll make a guy pay. The heels she’s balanced on rip on the carpet as she spins and storms into the kitchen to grab her purse. “Call me when you’re ready to practice.”

  She slams the door so hard it echoes through the apartment.
Deacon whistles and shakes his head. “Wow. Not smart.”

  “She’ll have to get over it. I can’t let her think there’s something between us.” I walk over and punch Gabe in the arm. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

  He has the sense to at least duck his head in shame. “I was drunk and pussy hungry. She was an easy lay.” I stare at him like he has two heads, and he drops his gaze. “Man, I was shit-faced when she brought out the coke. She told me it would make my dick hard.” He glances around. “I was having trouble getting it up for her, and that shit doesn't happen to Gabe James.”

  “Don’t speak about yourself in the third person. Makes you look like a bigger ass. And your dick wouldn’t get hard because Lilith is nasty.” I dig through my wallet until I find my doctor’s card. “Call them Monday and get an appointment for STD screenings.”

  “Ah, Seth. She hasn't got anything.”

  That’s it. My tipping point. Between the little bit of spitfire next door, Lilith’s mauling, and Gabe’s stupidity, I am done. I grab him by the back of the neck and bring his head down to my level, pressing our foreheads together. I hold his gaze. “You look at me, and you listen. Girls like Lilith fuck. Anything. I mean anything. You just fucked all of them dick wads too. You will go get screened and let me sleep more peaceful not worrying that you are a diseased ass. Got it?”

  “Yeah, I got it.”

  I pound him on the back and lock him in a one-armed hug. “Good. Cause I’d hate to have my ass kicked by every whore in Austin waiting for a piece of your shit.”

  That gets everyone laughing, and we finish off the case of beer before starting on the second trailer that has our equipment.

  “ALICE?” I hurry to Molly’s room. “I’m here.” She’s curled around a pillow in the middle of the bed. “Hey, are you okay?”

  She rolls onto her back and drops an arm over her eyes. Something is definitely wrong. Molly never mopes. “Yeah, I got tired.”

  “Mole. What is it?” I pull her arm down and gasp at the tears streaking her cheeks. We’re both a total mess today. “What? No, please don’t cry.”

  She sighs. “I’m being silly.”

  “What can I do?”

  We both sit up, and she brushes away the tears. It reminds me of a time when we were young, and she didn’t want me to go home. I didn’t want to stay because my father hurt me, but I’d have done it to keep her from crying. “Well, first, you can read that damn article and tell me how bad I screwed it up.”

  “Really, Molly, such language.”

  She giggles. “Okay, brat, just go read it.”

  I flex my fingers before attempting to get the laptop to respond to me. “Let’s read this Peabody Peace Prize worthy article.” That isn’t the right title, but I have to get her to laugh.

  “You are something else.”

  “Ah, I love you too. Let me go print it. We'll mark it up, and I’ll fix it for you.” Printing the damn article without deleting it by accident is a score for me and only takes eighteen minutes. In which, Molly enjoyed ribbing me every two, proclaiming that she’d have written another piece in the time it took me to find the file tab, then the print command.

  I pay her back the only way I know how. “Okay, let’s clean this shit up.”

  It takes less than an hour to have the article ready to send into Molly’s editor, and after her breakdown, she pleads exhaustion and decides to nap—the docs say that head trauma patients rest a lot, so I don’t really worry about her needs for mid-afternoon naps. That leaves me alone to ponder the oddity of the day, and the first thing that comes to mind is my neighbor. I change into a cami sans bra and some mini jersey shorts. I need some yoga to work out the kinks tightening my body.

  Ten seconds into the Crane Pose—a position designed to torture, but gives me great balance and bad-ass arms—a god-awful racket from the hall startles me, and I fall, smacking my forehead hard on our wood floors.

  “Fuck. What now?” Rubbing at the small knot forming at my hairline, I grab a hoodie draped over the back of the couch, slug it on, and rush to the door.

  In the hall, arms laden with musical equipment, four large and totally hot guys fill the space—Seth James leading the pack. He stops, drops the cymbal dangling from an index finger, and stares. His too bright gaze travels down my scantily, and very sweaty, clad body and back up. When our eyes meet, he grins. “Come to help?”

  “No.” I have no idea what makes me do it, but I snatch his cymbal off the floor and carry it into his apartment. I’m asking for trouble, but can’t seem to stop myself. They follow me inside, jaws still slack. Okay, so I’m cute, but not worthy of jaws dropping. I plop it down on his couch and rush back to the door. Taking on Seth doesn’t scare me, but a crew of hotties is a little much.

  His strong fingers wrap around my shoulder before I make it through the walkway. It’s not controlling or holding me back. His hand is simply resting on me. “Hey, thanks. I’m sorry if we…uh…interrupted your day.”

  His words sound sincere and slightly slurred, and I can’t find it in my heart to be bitchy to the first guy in a long time that has only shown me kindness. I sigh and pivot to face him. “It’s not me I’m worried about. My sister is asleep.”

  He glances at his watch and frowns.

  “She’s recovering from an accident. So, if you don’t mind, keep it down in the halls.”

  He leans forward. “Will do and I’m sorry.”

  When he enters my personal space, my heart speeds up. His eyes stare into mine. I feel this incredible connection, like he knows my pain. Like he can see my guilt.

  The distance between us seems to be shrinking, and I’m not sure if it’s me shuffling closer or him.

  He snags the zipper on my jacket and runs it up and down. “Is she going to be okay?”

  I pluck at a button on his shirt and glance up. “Eventually.”

  His friends form a half-moon circle around him and gape at me. I flick a glance at each of them. They all have a very different style of dress, which only raises more questions about the man in front of me. “Am I the first girl they’ve ever seen?”

  Blondie, with the coal lined eyes, on the left snickers. “In Seth’s apartment? Hell, yes.”

  Seth elbows him, but grins.

  The tall guy in a kind of hot-nerd ensemble leans over and shakes my hand. “Deacon. Would you like a beer?”

  I eye the leering men again. “It looks like you started without me, and I’m not into gang-bangs.” I disengage the overlong hand play with the nerd and back away from the group. “G., I’ll catch you later.”

  “Hey, wait. I’ll walk you back over.”

  The hotties chuckle, high-five, and rib Seth as we walk toward the hall. He shuts the door to their gazes and catches my hand before I can cross back to my apartment. “Hey, are you going to tell me your name?”

  “Nah, this is more fun.”

  “Why?”

  “I think you’re used to having your way.”

  He smiles. “Maybe.” He leans against his door and crosses his arms. His smile slips into a smug grin I’d seen on so many rich boys in this city. He thinks he has me. “I’d like to have my way with you.”

  He’s quite the talker when he’s sauced. Good to know. It’s nice to see his thoughts. “That’s the beer talking.” I step close, arch up on tip-toe, and tap a finger to his slightly parted lips. “A few hours ago, you didn’t have much to say. I’m okay with keeping this awkward tension between us. It’s all we’ll ever have.”

  He scowls at that and twists the knob back to his apartment. “Whatever.”

  Mission accomplished. I’d succeeded in pissing him off. If he stayed mad at me, then we could squash this weird attraction that we obviously both feel.

  I grin. “Bye, G.”

  His brows dip low, and I shove the door behind me, sagging against it. My breath swooshes out from between my clenched teeth. Damn, he is going to be trouble. I feel it all the way to my pinky toe.

  A
soft knock against my back drives home the point. I twirl and open the door before he disturbs Molly—or maybe because I’m not ready to share him with her yet. “What?”

  He tucks a hand into the waistband of my shorts and hauls me into the hall, pulling my door shut behind me. “Where did you get that?” His gaze lingers on the small bump decorating my forehead.

  I reach up and touch the sore knot. “Oh, I fell.”

  “How?” He raises his free hand and traces the swelling.

  I don’t even feel the careful prodding. No, my concentration is solely focused on the fingers tucked inside my shorts and only inches away from becoming way too familiar with me. “Um…I was doing yoga when you guys came down the hall.”

  “And?” He tugs me closer. His thumb rakes a small path below my belly button.

  Oh my. “Uh…I fell out of…of…my pose and banged my head on the floor.”

  His eyes darken and those beautiful lips part. I want to snake my tongue across the bottom one to find out if it is as soft as it looks.

  He winces and lowers his eyes to mine. “So this is my fault?”

  I grab onto his wandering hand and pull it free of my shorts. If I didn’t, I’d be asking him for a wall orgasm in less than two minutes and random teasing and fleeing was a no go for me now. “No. It was an accident. Lighten up, G.”

  “I don’t want to cause you pain.”

  Wow, that feels like a loaded proclamation. “Okay. Well, keep the noise down, and we should be good.”

  He drops the hand that had been rubbing away my bruise. Funny, I’d totally forgotten it. “I don’t want to cause you pain. It’s a personal thing.” A deep shudder races over him, and for some reason, I don’t think he is with me anymore.

  “You didn’t. I’m fine.” I lift a hand and cup the side of his face, bringing his gaze to mine. It is the gentlest moment I’ve ever had with a man, and we’ve just met. “I’m not sure what this is, but I think I should go inside.”

  He glances down the corridor, takes a deep breath, and nods. “Yes, you should.”