“You are psycho.”
Alice laughs and put her eyebrow bar back in. “Nah. I'm just messing with you. You should never go at someone unless you know that you can beat them.”
Lilith slumps to the couch. Her hands are shaking. “You think you had me?”
“I'm just messing with you. What kind of crazy person goes at someone they just met? Just don't piss on my bush, and we're good.”
I'm not sure what planets aligned when they led me to her, but I think I'm falling for this brown-eyed girl. Even with all her troubles and wacked out spells of crazy, I’ve forgotten what my life was like before her.
With a warning glare at Lil, I ask, “Are we going to practice?”
Everyone else grumbles and moves into position. Alice sits in her corner on the couch and pulls the blanket I'd left for her from the back. “Kill it, bitches.”
Since the last time we were together, she’s completely secured the mask. No one would ever know that she just spent three days drawing pictures of me like some maniacal serial killer.
We all laugh, well, everyone but Lilith. She turns to me the way she always does. Alice catches my eye and laughs. “Have you ever done a concert?”
There it is again. That husky tinkle of sound that tells me she’s happy. “We have one scheduled in three weeks. Why?”
“She does know that she has to sing to the audience. Right?”
Deacon whistles but ducks his head.
I snicker. “Yeah, she knows.”
Alice makes a big O with her mouth and winks. She lies back on the sofa, crossing her hands beneath her head. It makes the edge of her shirt ride up to allow about two inches of skin to show. It’s enough for a tease, but not enough to cover the ugly scar snaking around her waist. I slam the drumstick down with more force than necessary and count the beat. I'll kill the motherfucker that tortured her. I'll find him and break him. Who did that to someone like Alice?
Deacon edges between Lilith and me and frowns. I was speeding the count. I concentrate on slowing down when Alice glances my way. She's noticed too. Lilith takes the microphone in her hands and begins her high falsetto before lowering as far as she can go. It isn't enough. She was a key too high. Evan groans. And I still hear him over the bleat of her high pitch. Alice makes faces at me from the couch, and I can't keep back the laugh. Lil turns, but Alice has returned to her normal position.
After that everything seems to settle down, and we make it through a set. Gabe abandons the piano and lifts Alice's head, placing her back down when he sits. I didn't like her head on his lap, but I don't think Gabe is trying to make me jealous. There is just something about Alice that seems to settle a man. She checks her watch and eyes Lilith. Gabe leans over her, and she whispers something to him.
I can’t take it anymore. I drop my sticks and wedge around my skins to take my place on the couch, at her feet, lifting them and dropping them in my lap. We have her in a James sawhorse. “Hey lovebirds, what are ya talking about.”
Deacon groans. “I guess we’re done for now?”
Evan doesn’t say anything and begins disconnecting amps, hooking guitars back on their stands, and cleaning up our mess. Evan can’t really stand for things to be out of place.
I grin at Deacon. He knows I won’t leave her with Gabe. “Yep.”
He rolls his eyes at me, but there’s a hint at a smile on his mouth.
Gabe glances up with a smug grin plastered over his face. “Alice wants to have a slumber party.”
I watch Alice giggle against Gabe's chest. She seems so at home there. “A slumber party?”
She shakes her head and sits up. “No. I told him that I probably wasn't going to get any sleep tonight with the image of Lilith's butt in my face all night.”
Lilith slides on her heels and grabs her purse. “I'm not staying here while this bitch takes digs at me.” She waits at the door and watches us. “Well, Seth, aren't you going to see me to the door.”
“Uh, no. You've found it yourself every other time.”
She squeals and rushes outside. Deacon clicks his tongue and throws one of my drumsticks at me. “Don't piss her off. We don't have time to find another singer.”
“Yeah, but it'd be nice if we could.”
Alice slides on her converses and straightens her shirt. “Thanks for the show.”
“I can walk you out.”
The guys snicker and she grins. “I have found it on my own all the other times.”
Yeah, but this time, I don't want her to. I want to walk her to the door. I want to steal a kiss. Make her dream of me sweetly. “You could stay.”
I have no idea where that came from, but my heart is pounding, and I’m suddenly desperate to hear her say yes.
“Here?”
“Yeah. here.”
“Nah, I'd cramp all your farting and reach overs.”
Gabe hoots and picks her up, spinning her in circles. “I love you.”
She grabs his cheeks and kisses him on the forehead. “I adore you.”
What the fuck? “Put. Her. Down.”
Gabe lowers her to the ground and takes a large step away. “Easy, bro. Alice knew what I meant.” He steps behind her. “Right?”
She doesn’t say anything. Just reaches down and takes off her Converse and throws it at me. It bounces against my stomach and thuds on the carpet. “Stop being a dick. We were playing. You know, forget it.” She hobbles to the door.
“Alice. Wait.” I catch her before she makes it out.
She twists free. “Don't.” She storms to her apartment and leaves me standing in the hall, feeling like a fool.
Gabe doesn't want her. He'd probably bag her if he could, but he knows I want her. A large hand grabs my shoulder and draws me back inside. “Dude. Let her go. And if you want a girl like Alice to settle down for you, you got to quit acting like a spoiled fucking punk.”
“I am not fucking spoiled.”
Evan’s soft voice travels across the room, surprising both Gabe and I. “Arrogant?”
He may have a point. Ego isn't something we James men lack. “I may be a little of that, but that's not a bad thing.” I brush past him. “I prefer to think of it as confidence.”
“So what are you going to do about her?” Gabe flexes his neck. I’m sure my problems are already boring the shit out of him.
“I don't know.” I lurch to the kitchen, completely defeated. “I kissed her.”
Deacon steps forward, dragging Evan with him. “Oh, yeah?” They gather at the bar and take the cold beers I hand them. “And?”
My cock stirs against my jeans at the memory of how fantastic that first kiss was, but I can’t tell them the details. That wouldn’t be right. But I also couldn’t lie to them. “It was good.”
Evan clicks his tongue ring against his teeth. “Good?” His blond hair brushes forward, hanging over one coal lined eye. “How good?”
“Better than.” I shrug. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Gabe laughs. “You have it bad already.”
Fucking brothers. If it wasn’t already obvious to everyone in the room, then no matter what I say it’ll concrete that fact. “I don’t. Maybe. I don’t know.” I hope that satisfies them enough not to press the subject. “She's different. Damaged. I don't know if I'm pushing in the right direction or not.”
Deacon belches and pats his stomach. “You have to quit pushing period. You push everyone. This band. Gabe. Your dad. It's time to take a breath, dude.”
“I know. I know.” A pile of peeled label stacks up around my bottle. These guys have me twitching like a twelve-year-old boy trying to steal his first feel. “But how do you stop being the man you've been since birth?”
Gabe pats my shoulder. “You learn to trust. Trust that your heart will guide you true.”
I think we're writing a song, and we don't even realize it.
ALICE
EVEN THOUGH IT’S LATE, I gather my club clothes and hurry to The Basement. I know that the
re, I won’t have to deal with judgment, depression, or annoying prisses. The cab drive over does nothing to settle my mangled nerves.
I go to the front of the line, ignoring the faces of all the groaning patrons, and find Hank.
“Alice. Twice in a week. The need must be mad.”
“Yeah. Is it set up?” I grin at the big goof.
Hank stares at me, one eye narrowed. “Yep. Although, it's a pretty damn packed crowd.”
I kiss him on the cheek, hoping to soothe his worries, and squeeze past him into the club. The normal calming effect I get when I walk among the vacant, cold stone doesn't hit me tonight. I enter the glowing lower level and push my way toward the front stage. A crowd is gathered around a guy belting out an old Johnny Cash song in the most tone deaf pitch I've ever heard. I'm smashed when the crowd draws closer, but it’s nothing new. This place has the best karaoke set up in Austin.
I’m jostled again and again, and someone's drink spills over and down my arm, soaking into the side of my blouse. I turn and push the ass that just drenched me. He pushes me back in a prick move, and I raise my knee, intent on rendering him a bunch of dead swimmers.
The guy growls down at me. “Bitch. Don’t even think about it.”
An arm reaches around me and draws me back. “Don't move.” My rescuer points a finger over my shoulder at the guy intent on causing trouble. “Don’t. Turn around and forget her.”
Shit. My heart drops to my stomach, and I have the most overwhelming urge to vomit on the guy in front of me. I don’t know the voice, but I know who sent him. My father's henchmen can fit in anywhere and are shadows among the ghost of society, but when they bark, people listen. It is creepy, between the secret security service he has and his under-the-table thugs, I never know who to expect.
Long furrows break the skin on his arms under my fingernails. The guy in front of me grins and turns around. I won’t get any help from that prick.
I bite the thug behind me until he lowers his arm enough that I can suck in a breath without choking on arm hair. “What do you want?”
“Your father wishes your company.”
Fuck what my father wants. There’s no way in hell I will go to him, and this asshole will have a hard time getting me out of here with so many people watching. Technically, they are watching the stage, but as soon as I scream in C minor, they’ll fucking pay attention to us.
“No. I won't go. And if you try to make me, I'll cause a scene.” I elbow him in the ribs and take a small gram of pleasure at his grunt of surprise.
He pulls my hair to the side and presses his lips against my ear. “You know that he'll make us both miserable. Please. Just come peaceful.” This guy is a thug. Service men don’t care about anything other than the job.
This guy’s been with my dad long enough for the dark powers to find something on him. That’s the only way my dad can force loyalty. If I can find the root of his hold, maybe he’ll give me a chance to squirm my way out of this. “Why do you stay with him?”
“He knows too much about me. I'd lose everything.” My father is a master blackmailer and manipulator. He has something on everyone. The perfect politician. And if he ever makes it into office, God help us all.
This dude obviously has a soft spot for something or someone. “You know what he will do to me, yet you can live with yourself?”
“I—”
My words sink in. He pauses, and I stomp on his toe. While he's hobbling around, I break free and run. I pull off my three-inch heels, mid-run, and really put the speed to it. I squeeze past a pair of lesbians dry humping between two dudes watching, duck under a waitress’s raised drink tray, and narrowly miss bumping head-first into a brown bottle held out at my head level. The stairs leading up to the street-level stub at my toes, but I ignore the chipped nails and keep running.
Hank hollers behind me. “Alice?” But I keep running. If I stop, he’ll either be hurt, or I’ll get caught.
It's raining outside. I run until my sides ache, my feet slapping the sidewalks and sending muddy debris up to cling to my legs. If I don’t get off this street, I’m not going to make it.
I grab a cab. The warm interior takes the shivers of the cool rain away, but doesn't stop the chill in my heart. I'm scared to go back to the apartment, but I have nowhere else. I take the elevator up to our floor and pray that my father is not waiting outside my door. Or worse, in my apartment.
I'm shaking at the handle when the door behind me opens. Three grinning and loud men fall out into the hall. Giggling in high pitch man-voices and slurring their way through some recanting of a story. Gabe falls to the floor, and Evan sits on his back. Deacon is trying to get them both up, and I’m suddenly caught with a hysterical need to cry. I want their lives. I want to not worry about bad men chasing me. I want to be nineteen and use fake IDs and go on dates. I want to have sex with the same person for a length of time and call it a relationship. I want it all.
Gabe shoves Evan from his back and rolls over. He grins up at me and kicks a boot into Deacon’s foot. Their collective, “Oh shit” expressions are almost comical. They’re drunk, and I've surprised them.
Seth staggers close. “What the hell happened to you?” The warm scent of beer caresses my cheek. Unlike some of my past boy toys, it’s not stale and the sweet hint invites me to taste.
“I-I got c-c-caught in the rain.” I can barely keep my teeth from chattering long enough to form the sentence.
“What were you doing in the rain?” He swipes water droplets from my shoulders. His hands are rougher than normal, forceful, and almost gripping. I think I’m half holding him up. And it’s okay because he’s kind of cute worried about me like this. Every expression is freely dancing across his face—anger, delight, concern, lust.
“Um…I went out.”
“Where?”
If I don’t tell him, I worry he’ll just keep after me. “I w-went to the club.”
His fingers wrap around my shoulders and clutch down. The frown marring his beauty makes him look dangerous. “By yourself?”
“Yeah.” Of course I went by myself. I needed time away from him.
His brows draw together. I glance around his shoulder for help from the other guys, but Gabe glances at the ceiling, Deacon the floor, and Evan is picking at a finger nail. “I would have gone with you.”
“I know.” And I would have never been able to clear my head. Although, I can’t really say that it worked out the way I wanted.
I hate the pain that passes across his face. “Oh.”
“Bro, you got this? I gotta a piece of ass waiting for me.” Gabe has an arm draped over Deacon’s shoulder.
“Yes.” Seth’s reply is so short I try to step back, but he doesn’t let me. I’m tired of men manhandling me tonight, but Seth is drunk. If I nut-check him, he’ll probably fall down, and I’ll be stuck trying to get him into his apartment by myself. His goofy sidekicks are in no shape to help.
Evan bows and blows me a kiss. “I’m glad you’re safe.”
It’s an odd and over-the-top gesture, and I giggle. There’s something about Evan that calls to a sweet spot in my heart. It’s like he’s familiar with pain, and we’re both doing our best just to move on. Knowing I’m not alone helps stop the shivers racing over me.
The guys start walking toward the elevators—none too steady. Gabe is doing sideways push-ups all the way down. Deacon ruffles Evan’s blond spikes. Evan shoves Deacon off of him, creating a chain reaction of Deacon bumping into Gabe and both of them rolling to the floor. Deacon hunts around for his glasses, which thankfully have slid away from the two large men’s flattened bodies.
“Are they going to be okay?”
“Yeah. I think they are walking to Evan's. He doesn't live that far from here.”
The elevator door opens, and I see the top of my father's grey head over Evan's. The boys don't move, and he is stuck in the elevator until they get their disorganized thoughts in order. I stiffen and clench my eyes shut like I u
sed to do when I’d hide beneath my covers. If I couldn’t see him, then maybe he wouldn’t notice me. Seth nibbles along the side of my neck and brings me back from the panic. I couldn’t panic. Panic would get me caught.
I launch myself at Seth and push us both back into his apartment. He laughs and wraps his arms around me. I reach back and slam the door.
Seth sways into me, putting most of his weight against me, and I have to brace an arm against the wall to keep my legs upright. He’s breathing heavier and pressing his lips against the side of my face. “If you wanted in my arms, all you had to do was ask.”
If my father wasn’t a threat, I’d definitely let this big bad-boy have a few stolen kisses. Hell, maybe a lot of them. He’s so fucking hot when he’s being all cute like this.
There is hard knock on Seth's door, and I begin to shake. The handle rattles and Seth curses against my ear. I’m lost in the memories of how many times I’ve heard the rattle of my door knobs. How many times he would drag me from my bed and toss me into our basement.
Even drunk, Seth notices my body’s reaction. He rubs his hands up and down my arms, chasing away the shivers wracking my frame. “Hey, what is it?”
I grip his neck with one hand and pull his head to mine. Our eyes lock, and I’m burned by the blaze turning his eyes to the color of blue flames. We connect like no one else I’ve ever known. He takes a bit of my fear away in that penetrating stare. “Please don't let him in.”
My father’s voice shouts through the door. “Alice?”
“P-Please.” I step back to the wall behind the door and mouth, “Please.”
Seth straightens and runs a hand over his face. He stands tall, straightens his shirt, and smooths the wavy locks away from his forehead. I’ve never seen someone force themselves sober before. It is amazing. He opens the door. “Can I help you?”
“I saw my daughter come in here with you, and I need a few words with her.” My dad’s gravelly voice raises the hairs at the back of my neck.
“She's in the shower.” Seth doesn’t glance at me. “What do you need with her?”
Drowning (Tears of Sin Series) Page 13